A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 28

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 28

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

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I looked at my can of soda with trepidation, before reaching out and grabbing it.

A sigh of relief left my lips when plucking its tab forward resulted in a hiss.

“Looks like I don’t need to bring out the CO2 canisters and syrup out yet, buddy.” I reached down and gave Jack a scratch behind the ears. My dog gave a happy yelp, enjoying the scraps of meat, bone, and nutritionally-enhanced kibble he had on his plate. “To a week’s worth of vacation time!”

I treated myself with a righteous dinner after securing a deal with Parvati.

“Pepper from India, butter and beef from California, and flour and vegetables from the religious nutjobs in the Midwest.” All my current allies and potential foe were arrayed before me. Hot buttered rolls, roasted vegetables, and a butter-basted steak drenched in a pepper sauce. I went out to procure a means to make hamburgers, but I have returned with the ability to create fantastic steaks. I’m truly winning! “How’s your meal, Jack?”

“Woof!” Jack gave a woof at my voice and chowed down, with a tail wagging high in the air.

I took that as a cue to enjoy my own meal.

Bite of steak, then vegetables, and then buttered roll slathered in the sauce and beef juices.

A finishing sup of ice-cold cola to get rid of the cloying grease.

Beef with a perfect crunch, tender to the just nearly falling apart, and lathered in cream, salt, and pepper.

Vegetables roasted on wood to tenderize the fibers, served hot and just lightly seasoned, to provide contrast.

Refined, fluffy, and almost sweet bread to sop up everything on my plate.

Fizzy, acidic, and sweet to finish everything off.

Hot, fatty, sweet, salty, and lightly acidic.

Bliss.

I didn’t think.

I only ate, and enjoyed each bite, until it was finished and went to wash the dishes.

My mood only fell a little when is started scrubbing the pans, but even then, it didn’t fade that much.

“A full stomach. A place of safety. All the entertainment I could want. And, finally, a dog.” I had it all again. If not for the dangers posed by nations forming up more quickly than I expected, and the existence of superhuman factions on the moon, I’d call everything off. “I wish that I could just shut everything and everyone out again, and just enjoy my time alone… but that’s not happening.”

Now, I wasn’t about to fall into the sunk cost fallacy.

I could totally just stick my head in the sand, pretend nothing’s wrong, and get in my bunker and enjoy myself for a decade or two. Parvati, Kaede Walker, my psychopathic, self-proclaimed saint ex-girlfriend, and everyone else could just duke it out over what remained after the last conflict. Superhuman War 2: Electric Boogaloo can just happen and I’ll stand by just like I did the last… but this second war was worse than the last.

If only people can just enjoy what they have, or work with one another to get what they need, instead of fighting.

But, if things were that simple, I suppose that world piece would’ve gotten figured out a long time ago.

I let loose a sigh and shook my anxiety riddle-thoughts out of my brain, wiped my hands clean, and looked at Jack… who was panting and waiting happily for me to finish.

“Alright, I need to walk for a bit after a meal like that! Let’s go for a walk.” I held out my hand and my dog jumped aboard and gave me a lick on my cheek. I ran through possible places and locations to go, but decided against anywhere that might mess with Jack’s sleeping cycle. With a twitch of a mental muscle, I appeared in one of my recreation rooms with a floor of grass and other plants. I let him loose and let him run, while walking after him. “No need to worry about things. Just enjoy yourself.”

My words weren’t just directed at Jack.

They were also for me.

The feeling of anxiety and terror that led me to make my bunker in the first place was welling up inside me again.

Soon, I’m sure, I won’t be able to sleep unless I knew that they did enough for the day towards securing my future.

And, if ignored it, a while slew of mental problems that I’d rather not deal without a therapist would arise.

So, I contented myself with the knowledge that I’ll move against the threats to my safety soon, that I’ll find ways to match the escalation that occurred while I isolated myself and find contacts to work with until I was secure.

Doing my absolute best, as usual, to stay sane and safe in a dangerous sand insane world.

But, for today, I’ll celebrate a successful operation with my dog in my still-secure home.

…

“Greetings, Kaede Walker. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Parvati was at the center of Walker’s log cabin. It was the diplomatic Gynoid model, but with modifications. Less curves, and less voluptuous clothes, probably because the AI custom-manufactured it to interact with Walker in mind. I preferred the AI when it has been just a drone, or voice in a headpiece, and Parvati, now practically exclusively contacted me through those methods. It knew how to change to fit its audience. “I look forward to working with you and your community.”

“The pleasure is mine. Egress has told me about you.” Kaede Walker didn’t hesitate to offer her hand to shake to the genetically-altered, biomechanical entity. While I avoided touching any of the Gynoids, Walker could do so with ease because she practically couldn’t be harmed. “I won’t mince words. I’m willing to help you establish facilities here to aid us in bringing civilization back up and running.”

“I see. Having another facility on the planet would be incredibly beneficial to me, especially one that can be accelerated with human staff.” Parvati didn’t so much as blink at the head-on declaration by Walker. Most would think that Walker was being too fast and loose with foreign policy, but she wasn’t. Maelstrom was basically telling the very powerful and mighty AI to build a base on her territory, because she was sure that anything that the AI could throw at her was within her ability to decisively destroy. “I will have a manufacturing unit here within a day. Half a day, if Egress is willing to help.”

“No, I’m taking a vacation. The two of you just handle things on your own.” I waved them both away before they could level their gazes at me and stare me down. I was busy doing important things. Like teaching Jack how to determine where explosives are, so that he can stay safe. “I’m not a leader. I don’t do international negotiations. Just job offer negotiations.”

“Then, I would like to hire you to transport several standard container units from my facility to here in exchange for servant forms.”

“Eh, I don’t want any gynoids around my house.” They might try and kill me in my sleep, or slip poison into my body. The latter part was difficult to manage. Even after all my years of training, I couldn’t teleport things that were inside me out that was as small as poison. “Offer me something else.”

“Your negotiations can take place later. I would like to ask for the facility you intend to manufacture to be capable of producing medicine in industrial amounts. Scouting in Mexico has revealed some form of bioweapon has gone airborne, which can thankfully be handled by antibiotics.” It was probably a leftover cartel-commissioned strategic weapon. Enterprising heroes in Latin America were a huge bane in the cartel’s side. They took cities and whole neighborhoods hostage to make sure they couldn’t move against them. Someone probably found a case or two and blew it open by accident, or stupidly tried to use it. “I have many superhumans with technical and science backgrounds at my disposal. They can offer you assistance in your current projects in exchange for your assistance.”

“That will not be required. I despise bioweapons. I will assist you in defending and analyzing the threat without cost.” Parvati shook her head and Walker raised an eyebrow, but didn’t voice any dissent to the statement. It would’ve been a moronic choice. “However, if you wish for my support against your foes beyond the Rocky Mountains, I will require payment. I would rather not directly interfere with the internal strife in any nation besides India’s.”

I rolled my eyes at that and Parvati noticed.

“Do you have something to say about that?”

“Yeah, it sounds like bullshit to me. The old, regular bullshit before the world went to shit. Everyone wants to stay in their lane, even though the highways are all breaking apart.” Everyone wanted to respect boundaries, retain nationalities, and adhere to the standards that arose from a time without superhumans. “Everyone’s going back to pretending that nothing’s changed, and that everything can just be normal with a few steps. Well, it can’t.”

“Do you have a counter-proposal, instead of simple complaints?” Walker threw my words back at me with her signature cool tone. Her face looked pensive, but I could tell that her mind was already set. Still, I wasn’t about to stop talking just because someone wasn’t going to listen. I’m not a quitter. “I’m fairly sure that you enjoyed the period of time when superhumans, their creations, and humanity lived side by side with little fanfare.”

“Yeah, I did, but it could’ve been better. Better enough to not be swallowed by an apocalypse the moment a few people decided to stop pretending that they’re completely beholden to the masses of idiots that make up most of the world.” I grunted and put Jack down. I couldn’t make a good point while playing with my dog, so I decided to put my puppy aside for the moment. It was a difficult choice, but I had to put my two cents forward before these two decided that their goal was to go back to being a powder keg that could blow up at any time, even if that powder keg was pretty nice. “We need to walk before we can start running again. It’s time to look at ourselves, find reasonable goals, and work with what we have, instead of reaching out to become nations that’ll just fall again.”

“Ah, you’re proposing returning to feudalism, to the time of city-states amidst regions warring for territory, such as the case in India… but with the goal of discovering a new form of governance.”

“Yeah, that’s right. The Magna Carta and all that didn’t just come out of nowhere. We build up, grow, and let philosophers grow up, figure things out, and actually make points that we can establish something out of. The last belief system fell over and died. We can’t exactly just go back.” I was over-generalizing, but both Parvati and Maelstrom were listening, so I committed to making my point. “Sure, it’s horrible that we have to go back to living as warlords and kings over small territories, but we can specialize and aim towards a goal better by being small. It’s better than just repeating what already failed and expecting a different result.”

With my little speech finished, I felt content and ready to accept whatever came next. Even if they both called me stupid, I shot my shot, laid down my thoughts, and I thought they were plenty reasonable in the face of all that went down.

By “all that went down” I was talking about the literal, civilization-ending apocalypse, naturally.

Anyway, I expected to get called a moron for spouting off all those words with little evidence, but Maelstrom and Parvati were suddenly, suspiciously quiet.

Quiet enough for me to hesitate just going back to training and playing with my puppy.

I didn’t break and ask either of them to start talking though.

I hesitated, but I still went back to playing with my dog.

“The statement is grossly overgeneralized, but it does have merit. Superhuman society is intrinsically different from regular society. We are too different, as Egress has pointed out.”

“I agree. There’s too much power in the hands of those who are reckless and wish to use it for personal gain. Our previous society was built with force monopolization at its cornerstone, which is no longer the case.”

I felt a cold sweat on my back.

Did I just make the world’s strongest superhuman and a ridiculously overpowered AI allies with my little speech?

Will I be blamed for the creation of a world-dominating regime beneath two tyrants that some people will inevitably fetishize, somehow?

Despite my usual coolness under pressure, I was getting a bit worried now.

“But, it is too soon to make such decisions. I will think on it further before moving on. For now, I will enter a trade alliance with your people. Labor in exchange for expertise and industry.”

“Done. You do right by us, Parvati, and we’ll do right by you.”

I let loose a sigh of relief as the two just shook hands and disengaged from serious conversation.

That felt too close for comfort.

I’ll have to watch what I say in the future.

Anyway, just as I was about to focus on providing some love, care, and affection towards my puppy, I felt Maelstrom’s gaze on me.

“Egress, what would you do if you were in my place with my power and ability?”

I didn’t hesitate to tell her the truth.

“Same thing I’ve already done. Secure funds, make myself a bunker with all that I need, and isolate myself from the rest of the messed up world.” It didn’t matter. Power sets didn’t change who people were. It’s a roll of the dice. Just as many crazed lunatics end up with non-lethal powers as there are regular morons who end up with ridiculously lethal powers. “What we’ve got doesn’t change who we are, Walker.”

“I see.” It was a pretty noncommittal answer from Walker, especially since she was responding to my answer to her question. I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing something as a small smile crossed her face. Now that I thought about it, I don’t think I’d ever seen her smile before, which was a bit creepy now that I thought about it. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

For what future?

The question was about to leave my lips, but suddenly Maelstrom took flight, high up into the sky, and faced East.

Where a whole superhuman nation was rising using theocracy as their basis for a new society.

A threat to Maelstrom’s ambitions and plans.

But not even close to being a threat to Maelstrom herself.

I didn’t even manage to get a word in before she sped off into the horizon faster than the eye could see.

“Well… that’s not good.”

Parvati gave me a glare, so I gave Jack off to her Diplomat form.

Time to stop an incident from happening, I suppose.