Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 136

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 136

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Commissioned by Arksoul

Wordcount: 2500

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A lot of people were shitting, crying, screaming, dying, and burning because of my recent decision.

You might be wondering what I was doing, while that was happening.

Was I stroking a cat and laughing maliciously in a chair, while all my Kindred retainers and wife plotted on murdering an innocent creature?

Was I consuming a sumptuous three course dinner and dessert, while allowing my wife to finally have a meal under the table like she’s always wanted?

Was I indulging in an orgy or otherwise fornicating with one of the very attractive individuals that surrounded me?

The answer to all those questions is no.

I’m too busy defending my territory to waste time on any of that.

“Looks like it was effective. Send a message to the counter-sabotage team to start digging into the most likely tunneling locations. Keep them safe… and tell Henri that we’re going underway to deal with the northern force of the Empire.” I put aside the telescope by handing it off to one of the crew nearby. I looked at the deck of my ship and gave orders to the skeleton crew. “Get ready to get underway! We’re going back!”

Under the event that the poison gas attacks didn’t work, my plan was to attack the mountainside sand prematurely set off the landslides we had planned there. At the very least, the landslides would block the way, and at best I hoped that it would collapse the tunnels by putting a whole lot more weight on top of the sapper tunnels. For that, I just needed a skeleton crew and pulled a few senior gunners off leave and pushed in a few of the recent graduates.

However, it seemed that the attack was successful enough that I didn’t have to set off the bombs and lose out on the opportunity. I looked forward to slowing down the Empire down and killing off a lot of them… well… more than I already was.

I turned around to go to my cabin only to walk right into the bottom of twin mountains.

Escape crossed my mind, but not before the owner of those mountains brought her arms around me and I found my head surrounded by boobs. My ears were completely muffled, my face mashed against lilac-smelling sternum, and all the senses that I had above my shoulders were just declaring to my brain… boobs.

It was boobs all the way down.

“A’Bel, release me.” I gave the order to my bikini-clad Demon. I felt her pout in the depths of my soul and I absolutely hated that I did, but she did put me down. The titanic, demonic Kindred kept pouting while I smoothed the wrinkles out of my clothes from her smothering. Her eyes glistened in the moonlight, while all the skin that she was showing sent my male instincts into overdrive. Thankfully, that particular part of me still lacked wheels and traction, even if the engine existed. “No. You’re not wading in there to kill lots of people. It’s too much of a risk.”

“But, my dear master, it’s a battlefield that’s never been seen before!” A’Bel begged and walked behind me pitifully with quivering lips. I assumed that my reaction to her too-small, too-tight bikini the first time gave her the idea that I liked how it looked more than her usual skin tight apparel, which was why she was wearing it. Unfortunately for her, I was too traumatized to be so easily convinced by lewdness. At this point, Demon, I can F2P any Gacha game I want. You hold no sway over me, as I have overcome something more terrifying than you can ever hope to imagine. “I’ll wear anything you want, if you let me go! What do you wish to see me in? The nurse’s Halloween costume? The bespectacled beasts? Solely covered with lace and jewels? Anything!”

“You’ll wear any of those whether I send you in there or not, because you know it’ll get a rise out of me.” I grunted and A’Bel gasped and cowered at my logic. “So, no. You’re not going down there after you’ve just fought yesterday. If keep sending you out, they’ll eventually just send something to fight against you.”

A’Bel shivered with sorrow for a few moments, before going back on the assault.

“What about female warrior armor!?”

“That’s not cosplay, it’s just exhibitionism!”

I dismissed A’Bel and just went off to either pout or try and tempt me with my youthful fantasies, so I took the opportunity to talk to my follow-up force for this mission.

Ashe.

“How are you feeling? If you’re hurt, you better tell me, or I’ll kick you out of the house.” I approached the waiting Hellhound and ruffled her hair. The dark-skinned, hellfire-filled Kindred brightened up at my words and my threat. Was it really a threat if she’d never do anything to invite punishment? Hellhounds were supposed to be wild, untamable Kindred, but as far as I can tell treating her nicely and like a person seemed to be enough to get her full loyalty. “Well?”

“I am of prime fitness and health! And, I am of great readiness to fight against the Empire! Poison and flame are not of problems to me!” Ashe declared the matter factually and with pride. Ever since her run-in with death, I’d had changes made to her armor and properly invested in her. She was as well protected against most weapons and magic as Ur and the Amazons now. A part of me questioned if I should give her all that and take away my honor guards advantages when facing her… but she nearly died for me, so I was willing to meet her halfway in terms of trust. “Lady A’Bel has had many chances to prove herself, and I am of yearning to do the same!”

“Yeah, that’s alright, but I want you coming back alive and in one piece. You’re going in there with little support to hit supply depots and spread some Hellfire around. You’re not killing the entire army. Do you understand?” I spoke and Ashe nodded eagerly at my words. She sat on her haunches and listened to every word I said attentively. Even though she was just a few inches shy of A’Bel’s height and rivalled the Demon in three sizes, I felt like I was talking to a puppy. A fire breathing, near-indestructible, and hyper fetishized puppy wearing MMO-style legendary female armor, but still a puppy. “Alright, then, go ahead and raise some hell down there.”

“I will accomplish everything by proper means!”

Ashe declared that fact, stood up, and launched herself off the ship.

I stared.

The crew stared.

The people she was supposed to be leading stared.

I sighed and shook my head, before giving orders to the people without a commanding officer, which were primarily Wyverns and a few of the Golems Henri’s students built. They were fire resistant and poison resistant, so they could follow Ashe.

“Find supply depots, take what you think we can use, and burn everything else down. Smash and grab, while they’re still suppressed and trying to figure things out.” I addressed the leading Wyvern who blushed a little at my attention, so I turned towards the nearest Golem. The white hair, outrageous body figure, and stoic expression made it so only some thigh-highs and a high-waisted leotard was missing from a recreation of a certain, existence-hating android. Thankfully, these Golems were “just” wearing an array of different bondage, maid, and… skimpy miner (???)… outfits instead of being uniformly clad in that fetish incarnate’s outfit. “Coordinate and leave no one behind. Regroup with the counter-sabotage group and then retreat to Ylstu via transports. Do you understand?”

“Understood, my lord!”

“Yes, master!”

“Then, go, now!” I urged them all with a grunt and a gesture, so they took off like lightning bolts after their commander. I would’ve been proud of their speed and haste, but they would’ve all been faster if they didn’t all shower me with needy looks. Or, flash me their tits or asses while running past. None of the Wyverns were doing it, but all the Golems were. I should’ve kept my distance from them. “And, I’m not your master, dammit!”

They sped away into the burning, toxic hellscape that I unleashed upon the Empire. The Golems hung off the clawed feet of the Wyverns as they sped after Ashe’s flaming, loping trail towards the Empire.

As I watched them speed away, I looked over my shoulder and one of the Phantom Kunoichi rose up from the deck, already kneeling and ready to answer my questions.

“The officers?”

“Over a dozen dead, my lord.”

“The mages?”

“A thirtieth of their number are dead.”

“The regular soldiers?”

“Those on patrol died, but those within their domiciles survived until the flames came. We believe many died where we struck and those further down do not know what to do.”

I grunted at that information and crossed my arms before asking the final question.

“What about the Kindred they planned to use to blow up the pass?”

“Beyond our aid, so we gave them swift deaths, and took their heads as instructed. Of the six we estimated would be required, we found three.”

I nodded at that, as I watched a great flame suddenly rise at the very front of the Empire’s primary force.

Had I fired everything I had along the entire column, I would’ve barely done any damage, but by concentrated at the tip of the Empire’s spear I’d delivered a substantial blow. I hoped that what happened would shake the ranks as rumors travelled down the immense column. Their vanguard, or their chaff, no longer existed and died horrible deaths while survivors were scoured by terrifying creatures that did not suffer from the plague and inferno I unleashed. Then, there were my assassins in the darkness amidst the chaos, Kunoichi guided by Phantoms who found the mana-saturated lands I created good enough to function in.

Plague.

Flame.

Hidden knives.

Monsters.

I hoped that the fear of the Empire would buy me a few days, maybe even a week, to resupply my ship and rapidly clear up my northern flank.

The army the Empire massed to take Ylstu was massive and I’d barely taken out a tenth of it, while expending most of my long-range delivery systems.

From here on out, Ylstu was going to be invaded, while I did my best to save as much of my people as I could, while keeping as much infrastructure undamaged so I can hit back.

Hah.

The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.

…

Ashe and the others returned at noon the next day.

A few were wounded, but they were light and treatable within the day, so whatever the result I was happy.

My Hellhound wanted to relay the events to me, and I let her, but I spoke with most of the strike team to get the clearest picture possible. It wasn’t an issue of trust but verify, since I had no reason to think Ashe would lie to me, but because Ashe just wasn’t suited for reporting. She was all about killing and destruction, which was good as an overview, but for tactical and strategic information on everything else I had to rely on other people.

The Golems were able to use the destruction they caused and which was already caused as cover. The smoke, the leftover poison, and the ruins didn’t bother them, as they didn’t need to breathe, were naturally armored, and had magical replacements for most of their senses. Why they were intended to be used as labor was beyond me, since they were far better as military scouts or dangerous equipment handlers.

The Wyverns, meanwhile, flew fast and low to burn and analyze whatever they saw. They suppressed the incoming reinforcements long enough for Ashe and the others to do what they needed to do, while also doing their fair share of sabotage. I never regretted making them my mainline troops, even if they cost an immense amount to just supply and house. As far as I was concerned, choosing Wyverns and Harpies to be my initial citizens was one of the best choices I’d ever made.

I dismissed them after their reports of completing their objectives, regrouping with the counter-sabotage force, and retreating.

But, I did take special interest in the people that harmed my troops.

“Reiser.”

“I am here, my lord.” Reiser came forward at my word. The suit-clad, disguised hero kept her gaze steady and wandering over possible threats, as my ship was loaded up for the next expedition. “You wish to know about the foes Ashe’s foes faced?”

“Yep.” I gave a nod, while looking over the ship’s manifest. There was going to be extra room in the hold, especially since we used most of our cruise missiles. A few more explosives wouldn’t hurt, but we could also keep it empty for prisoners to interrogate. “What do you know about these… “aspiring” heroes?”

“They are an elite cadre from the Empire’s Academy. The highest of noble houses send their children there to study, mingle, and learn magic and combat.” So, an Otome game setting in the territory that was opposing the lands of hentai. Why wasn’t I surprised? “Students from there are highly skilled in magical duels and combat. They are rarely deployed to the front, despite this, because they are the future of their houses.”

I nodded at that.

“So, do you know how to kill them quickly?” According to the reports, each of the Academy nobility had thorough training and skills. They had magical shields, the ability to fire magic, coordination with their peers, and even stronger weapons. No matter how I looked at it, they were like little adventuring parties all geared up through money to kill my people for sport. Naturally, I wanted them dead. “If I give you a few Kunoichi and Amazons, can you make sure they die before prolonging the Empire’s future?”

I half-expected Reiser to try and have her peers captured, so that they could be used as bargaining chips, but instead she nodded.

“Grant me proper arms and armor, permission to use my previous face, a powerful steed, and I will kill them all myself by acting as a foe they cannot resist hunting down.” Reiser professed without a hint of hesitation. When I looked into her eyes, I saw only the determination to prove her worth and kill people she once knew and fought with for my sake. Yeah, that was all I needed. “I will succeed no matter the cost.”

I grunted and said words I never thought I’d say again.

“Go ahead and do all that, but take the troops anyway. I need you alive.”

I didn’t know how Reiser reacted to earning just the slightest amount of trust from me again… and I didn’t care.

I told her the truth.

It was a long fight ahead of us and I couldn’t afford to lose someone as strong as her.

She could feel however she wanted, but that was the simple, logical fact why I loosened her leash.

More than anything else, I needed strong fighters capable of holding their own against entire battalions of massed infantry.

What I lacked in quantity, I had to make up for in quality.