Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 105

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 105

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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“You persuaded a Pharaoh to allow you to become his executioner, yet the very first thing you do is have your beloved vessel be given the ability to fly.” Ur sighed as she stood next to me. Ever since our new purpose was made clear, she’d started dressing in her usual clothes, rather than the fancy, silk stuff for high society. Limbs covered in armor and the rest of her body in bands of gold, tribal tattoos, and bikini-esque top and bottoms. “For some reason, I believe that you are taking advantage of the situation, my Chieftain.”

“Yeah, I am, but it’s not wrong.” I shrugged. I’d also stopped with the dress-up routine and donned my usual clothes. My attempt at looking like an evil, military general in a suit, complete with cape and enchanted sword, made me almost feel like some wannabe edgelord from a light novel. The thin boundary that kept me from wanting to die from my outfit was the fact that I was neither a wannabe nor an edge lord. I did order warcrimes and I was a general, therefore I was just flat-out evil according to most moral compasses. Hooray for moral relativism! “Sure, my ship gets an incredible upgrade, but it also lets me do my new job: which is scaring the shit out of all the Pharaohs and Apophis.”

“It’s an impressive weapon of war, yes, but they have fleets of their own in the skies. Simply having a larger, deadlier ship will mean little to them. The tactics with which it is used is of greater importance.” Ur muttered and glared at the work being done to my ship. Ur took along quite a few books how to conduct military operations in this world. Most of the books were memoirs of Kindred generals, and they were surprisingly good, especially the ones that focused on conflict between two states composed of Kindred. They had to deal with far more complex battlefields with different flavors of monsters to handle. I needed to give the books a thorough read myself, just in case I found myself fighting against Kindred who I couldn’t just bludgeon economically and culturally. “My chieftain, you have such a plan, yes? You don’t merely intend to fly over the cities of the Pharaohs and threaten them with bombardment.”

“I wish that I could. That’d be great and easy, but no. That’s not what we’re doing.” I really believed that with enough flying ships of the line that I could do anything. But Ur was correct. I only had one giant warship covered in cannons capable of firing at anything I wanted. Thus, it was necessary for me to use it with great care, with the greatest possible shock value, and achieve the most objectives possible. “Instead, we’re going to double-down and make it clear what we did wasn’t a fluke and win against another Apophis all on our own.”

Ur was quiet for a long time as we stood on the docks watching my ship get retrofitted.

After opening her mouth and closing it several times, the short-haired Amazon finally managed to speak.

“We’re going to do WHAT!?”

I’d told Mekh that I intended to go back home and make a fleet of five, flying battleships to blast any opposing fleet apart. However, I also knew that I couldn’t let the current situation fall out of memory while I did that. Even with all the magic, money, and craftsmen I needed, the ships were going to take months to finish, and even though the trip back was going to be very quick, that was still too much time lost letting opportunities slip by.

So, I needed to do something that would make it so that leaving for a few months and coming back did nothing to lower my chances. It was absolutely, utterly necessary for me to terrify the shit out of this entire country before I left and came back to terrify it some more. And there was no better way to do that than by defeating another Apophis right after I defeated the first, while doing it so better this time around.

In the last fight, I had to hold back, use local muscle and assets, and swoop in with my greatest asset after 90% of the work was already finished, but this time I was going to go all out with all that I had while the entire realm of the Pharaohs watched.

That first Apophis kill was just a way to practice and get all the eyes I needed on me.

This time I was going to crush whatever hopes they had left, before letting them stew with the memories and returning with a stronger, better force than the last one that crushed them previously.

With all of that in mind, I gave Ur a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry. Just leave everything to me and follow my orders. Everything will be fine.”

For some reason, even with my completely true statement, Ur’s shoulders slumped and her will to live faded right before my eyes.

Oi.

Why are you acting like a corporate manager with unreasonable expectations!?

I’ll have you know that after all that I’ve invested in you all… defeating a living god should be well within our ability!

The local contractors only lost half their numbers in deaths and casualties, and the local assets were irrecoverable, but you’ll be fine y’know!?

…

With my previous statements taunting fate, if I were in some shitty Light Novel, I’d be hit with a conundrum that would necessitate severe backtracking and ass-covering to accomplish my mission. Some people would call that a twist, while I would call it a lazy attempt by a third-rate hack to inject shitty shock value into their shit story.

Off of the top of my head, I could imagine A’Bel turning into pedophile-bait with the explanation that she lost all her power, my Kunoichi being unable to overcome the newly-upgraded defenses the next Apophis had, and my warship not being able to take flight and kick ass. All my hard work and preparation would go down the drain, while I’d have to do something out of the box with my brains and skills to show off how special I am.

If anything like that happened, I’d probably just retreat and eschew the plan to intensify the terror level amongst the Apophis and the Pharaohs about their lives being in danger. If I learned anything in the years I spent here, it was the fact that I didn’t have plot armor. My survival and success was due to the fact that I was either well-prepared or willing to make decisions that others couldn’t.

I’d rather bravely run away and keep all my subordinates and investments safe and sound, then take a massive loss in exchange for an increased reward.

Thankfully, though, the power of preparation remained unruffled by the whims of fate and nothing was magically wrong with my forces.

Well, besides the fact that they were all lewd, magical succubi, but that was normal.

I sat in the meeting room of my ship with Kurama, Tanis, Ur, and A’Bel present. Reiser, Sayuri, and the ones in charge of the Harpies, Wyverns, and sailors were present as well, but their presence was mostly for the sake of making the current mission clearly understood by everyone present. Bekat was present as Mekh’s emissary and sat at the long table as well, but she was mostly present to ask questions and clarify on intelligence, rather than give any advice that would change our strategy.

I turned to Kurama first.

“What’s the status on the Kunoichi?”

“After observing and aiding the thieves we captured and used in our initial operation, they are progressing quickly in their current objectives, my dear.” Kurama preened and sat straighter at my words. One day she’ll discover detached sleeves and thigh-highs, which’ll have us sued by a certain mushroom Gacha magnate. She wore the cleavage-bearing, shirt-skirted kimono of her people. At her back, Sayuri was garbed in her armor which lacking in a breastplate, and with hip vents in the lower half that told everyone in the room that panties were something she did not believe in. At the very least, she had half of the of the cool samurai mask, I guess. “They will not fail where a band of rabble succeeded, my dear. Please rest assured.”

“Good. Ur.”

“My sisters and I have been working with Wyverns and training with A’Bel. The focus of the Apophis on the usage of magic against all foes is an issue, but I believe that their guards and troops similar reliance on magic is a weakness that we can exploit, especially with the firepower offered by our ship.” Ur had a frown on her face, and glanced towards Bekat. The Anubis took notice of this and was surprised as I nodded at Ur’s way. “However, I don’t believe in relying on A’Bel solely for the battle against the Pharaoh. I believe in her, but it is much too risky to have her fight alone. I suggest allowing Reiser to accompany her.”

Bekat was confused by the mentioning of Reiser, especially since she was disguised as an Elf in the best approximation of a security guard as I could.

But Ur was correct.

“I understand. Reiser’s been decent lately, so she’ll be outfitted with the proper armor and weapons to assist A’Bel in the battle ahead.” My statement had Reiser’s eyes widen, before she bowed in thanks towards me and then Ur. My former bodyguard smiled at the response, but I took it in stride while looking at Bekat to explain. “Reiser is a human. A former Hero of the Empire and she now works for me.”

The Anubis managed to hide some of her surprise and managed to nod.

A’Bel had trounced the last Apophis we faced alone, but with Reiser’s abilities and specialty in fighting powerful Kindred at play, there should be no further issues with the situation. I was stacking the deck as much as I possibly could, because fighting fair was just fighting to lose with with extra steps. While I certainly liked being efficient and taking down my foes with the minimum amount of power required, I actually preferred knowing that my opponent was completely and utterly defeated instead.

I looked to Ur after making my decision. When I received a thankful bow in return, I turned to Tanis.

“Munitions.”

“Over the course of the journey, we stored as much excess power as we were able from A’Bel. We used much of our stock of satchels in the fireship attack, so that stockpile ought not be relied upon. However, we are at ninety-five percent readiness amongst all combat personnel and we are ready to receive wounded and treat them with care.” Tanis was also in her usual secretary wear. White shirt, purple vest and skirt, and glasses. She had a purple bow tying back her silvery-white hair into a ponytail. The Lamia found the meeting room a bit cramped, but her primary office and room was both custom-made for her, so she had no reason to complain. “The remaining five percent of personnel have slight injuries or illnesses that impede their ability in combat slightly. Many request that they be allowed to fight.”

“They should’ve been more careful and not gotten sick or hurt, then. Tell them to settle down and get better, because I won’t have them slow everyone else down or get themselves killed.” I grunted, before turning toward A’Bel. Ever since the fight against the Pharaoh, she’d been wearing the same, satisfied smile and little else. I don’t know how, but she managed to acquire herself a bikini smaller than the last. This set was just some struggling straps, squares, and triangles preventing from apocalyptic lewdness from breaking out at the cost of absurd lewdness given how tight and taut they were on her. The skindentation level was approaching maximum. Anymore tightness and she’d look like a trussed-up ham. “And, you… how confident are you at beating another Pharaoh of the Apophis faction?”

“It will be a very even fight, especially as they know and will prepare against something of my power and strength. I look forward to risking my life in service to you, my dear summoner.” A’Bel gushed and smiled, while shifting to-and-fro in her seat. The Demon was excited at the thought of fighting for her life against a powerful foe. “However, may I make a suggestion? Though the battle will be difficult… I believe that it would be a grander victory to defeat and incarcerate the Apophis that we face. To those who are so powerful, shame is an impossibly strong weapon.”

I eyed A’Bel and felt her out, searching for any sign that she could be proposing the idea just so she could get her rocks off in another fight to the death, but I found none.

“I’ll keep that under advisement. Spiriting the head of a state to another realm would terrify her allies and enemies both.” I have A’Bel a nod after that, before looking over the meeting room again. When I saw that no one had any questions, I moved forward. “Alright, then… the target is the Apophis know as Miriam.”

Most of the table nodded at my words, while Bekat’s brow furrowed and the Anubis spoke out.

“The Apophis who tried to recruit you… but her lands are deep in the territories of the Apophis. She will be difficult to reach, yet earlier you said that you already had spies and thieves in her court? How?”

“I’d been keeping track of her ever since we met with A’Bel.” A’Bel gave a gracious nod at my words. After the discussion that evening, I sent A’Bel off to meticulously look for the retreating Apophis. Demons, thankfully, were quite capable at things beyond murder and dressing provocatively and she managed to find the Apophis’s trail. That allowed the Kunoichi to get the rest of the job done. “After that, I had Kunoichi follow her through the secret ways she managed to get here in the first place. They used the same route to get to her and we’ll be flying over it.”

“You’ll still be traveling through the lands of three different Apophis to ferry your troops, Lord Hachiman. Their Pharaoh’s fleets will attempt to intercept you!”

Bekat seemed panicked, so I promptly provided her with the information that she was lacking.

“That’s the plan. I’m going to shoot out every fleet between here and there out of the sky.” My ship outranged every vessel these Pharaohs had. Not only that, but its weapons were superior, as were its defenses. This was just as important as the fight against the Apophis. “Anyone and anything that stops me from getting this done will die.”

I’d asked Mekh to make me his executioner to cow both the Pharaohs and the Apophis into submission.

The best way to do that was with a show of complete military dominance and I wasn’t the type to shortchange my contracts and do a subpar job.

A/N: Updated after going through a spellchecker and grammar program. 1st version was accidently uploaded without the checks.