DxD: Celeste

DxD: Celeste

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Commissioned by Althero

Wordcount: 1000

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I had to admit that I didn’t expect to wake up in a different dimension one day, but I can’t say that I never expected it to happen.

When you spend enough time around Li Song, your perception of normalcy tends to wither away and die.

Still, I thought that wherever I ended up would be strange and different.

Not my dimension through a weird funhouse mirror where CORE never existed, Ouroboros was called the Chaos Brigade and a lot less capable, and Lucifer somehow managed to kill me off for real. There were a lot of the finer details I was skipping, like the Jade Empire not existing, the Chimera never invading, and the postman never forming tribes and small nations for some reason, but those issues were the biggest bar the last one.

Li Song, the Aspect of Conflict, didn’t exist and neither did Coda, the Aspect of the End.

Out of all the things, I didn’t see that coming, and wasted a lot of time before I figured out that couldn’t just lay back, eat popcorn, and watch him make things right while working on getting back home.

So, instead of letting things go wrong, I decided to take action.

The first order of business, of course, was to go see the kid that took the most after me.

…

Azazel stared at me and I stared back.

He coughed after a few minutes and managed to speak.

“Uh. Hi. Father.” The Azazel in this world wasn’t as beat up as the one in my dimension. He looked younger and healthier, but he definitely wasn’t better. The difference between surviving a few apocalypses and maintaining an entire Faction through them, I suppose. “I thought you were dead. Forever.”

I considered going along for the ride, but honesty was the best policy, especially in the early stages of a partnership.

“My self here is. I don’t know how Lucifer managed it, but he did.” I gave the situation a shrug, while Azazel’s eyes widened just a bit. “I come from a parallel world where I managed to reincarnate instead of die. I’m working on a way to go back, but there’s a bunch of things here that might happen that I don’t particularly like, which I know of since my dimension’s also ahead of yours.”

I considered obfuscating or toning back my explanation, especially as Azazel took a decanter of whisky, popped off its cork, and took a swig.

But it was pretty funny, so I decided to keep going.

“Trihexa’s going to be unleashed in a few years, someway or somehow. The world might get invaded by interdimensional monsters. Some underground group or another might spark a third world war.” I listed off the possible events. I’d done my own investigations with what I cobbled together, which resulted in a lot of leagues turning up blank, and showing off the fact that this world’s technology was decades and decades behind mine. Their computers, somehow, weren’t modular and additive, which really raised a lot of questions. “I thought about just going back home and getting some reinforcements, but the technology here and the magic isn’t very well developed. It’ll take me more time than I thought, especially since you somehow didn’t develop Homunculi.”

That particular phrase got Azazel to choke mid-sip and spit out his drink.

“I succeeded in make artificial souls!?”

“Yeah, you did a pretty good job. Hot bodies too.” Did I ever congratulate Azazel on making life by himself? I should do that when I get back home. If he has time between orgies to spend a lunch with me, anyway. “This world is backwards and it's also in terrible danger, so it you should help me do what I need to do so everyone here can keep enjoying their peaceful lives.”

If there was anything this world was to be praised for, it was the fact that there were nearly eight billion human beings living on the planet and the fact that most of it wasn’t torn apart by nuclear war and giant, resource-consuming beasts. The world was beautiful, humanity was advancing slowly but steadily, and there weren’t any current problems that could change that.

But that was going to change, if I didn’t do anything about it.

“… I know that look, even if it’s a bit different on a woman’s face. You’re going to just take what you want, if I don’t agree aren’t you.” Azazel slumped in his chair and sighed. For a second, he did his best to get a measure of my power, before giving up and laughing. He palmed his face, while I crossed my arms. “Jeez. You’re stronger than ever. Why do you need my help?”

That was the kicker.

“I’m not planning on sticking around. I’ve got a home and a family to get back to. So, I’m setting things up to not fail here, before going back home.”

“So, you’re going to fix up the Church, get humanity and everyone else in line, fix things, and leave everyone to follow your rules forever?”

I shook my head at that particular accusation.

“Nah. I’ll just fix things up and keep everyone from dying and leave things to settle wherever they do.” Azazel didn’t seem to believe me, but I just gave him a shrug. I couldn’t back up my words without actions, especially since I cast Azazel and most of the Grigori down for not doing what I said. “Look, I know that you don’t believe me about that… but do you think I’d lie about everything else?”

I was counting on my dead counterpart to be somewhat like me and not an absolute bastard to get through to Azazel.

Thankfully, it worked.

“No. You wouldn’t do that, Father.” Azazel stood up and didn’t even shake, despite all the alcohol he imbibed. Naturally, he walked to his liquor cabinet and began taking out bottles of hard spirits and placed them on his desk. He uncorked one, sighed, and shook his head. “Alright. I’ll bite. What do you need? I’m not giving you much, and you have until I’m a sad drunk to convince me, so make it quick.”

Dozens of plans came to the forefront of my mind, before I settled on a talented genius who was enjoying a retirement living with an absolute stud.

“Do you know where Valerie Lucifer is?”

If I could get her onboard and get her head in the game, this was going to be much, much easier—

“Valerie Lucifer? You mean Vali Lucifer’s a girl in your dimension?”

Excuse me, what the fuck?