Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: Roseanne Alternative: Part 4

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: Roseanne Alternative: Part 4

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Kaede’s stare bore into my back as I looked over the reports and sipped on “coffee.”

Hachiman had described the substance and I’d acquired the beans through merchants. It was apparently a very luxurious item high in demand amongst more established nations. When the merchant prepared it for me, it had tasted quite bitter and muddy, but Hachiman’s “pour-over” method created a far smoother, almost sweeter brew. He called it barely tolerable, while the merchant had all but begged to learn how he made it.

But that was beside the point.

I sipped upon the brew while the Nurarihyon bit her thumb in frustration at my lack of words.

“… You’re supposed to gloat! You’ve found yourself a man and gotten rid of your virginity… so why aren’t you gloating?” The white-haired, kimono-clad Kindred finally broke and complained. She sighed as she looked at her own clipboard and at the construction before us. “It’s been a week and you haven’t said a word!”

“I prefer my privacy. Unlike most.” The night I spent with Hachiman had been a pleasant one. I’d known about mating and breeding, but he introduced several concepts of the female body known to his world but not to mine. Specific erogenous zones and how to handle them. It had been obvious he was working off of theory, but a Kindred’s body was attuned to pleasure. That knowledge alone satisfied me beyond what I thought was possible… then he “dove in.” “Besides, why would I need to share such things? If you wish to know, then you best capture some of his heart before I take all of it myself.”

A long time ago I swore that I wouldn’t take multiple men as my own and that I would have only one and share him with my trusted associates. It was an act that would informally indict the nobility that took so much, while the peasantry had so little. I’d made the plan with the intent of slowly pushing along the Kindred’s culture towards being less greedy… but now I couldn’t help but be greedy with Hachiman.

If he wished to have another… I would allow it.

But I would not freely share him with those I needed in my court.

I never thought that I would have such affection for a man that I wouldn’t grant the captain of my own Royal Guard the right to call herself my sister, but such was the case now.

“Gah. If he was difficult to seduce before, then he’ll be nearly impossible to seduce now with a fine woman upon him!” Kaede groaned in an unladylike manner, before her sharp gaze caught onto someone. “You there! Dispel that enchantment and redo it immediately!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Kaede casually did her duty and proved her ability, but did not point it out. She merely continued to gripe and grouse.

“I saw him earlier this morning. He was as dour and wonderful as ever. But it was different today… he’d catch himself looking at my breasts before… but now he just meets my gaze. Sometimes, I’m sure that he’s smirking!” Kaede’s words made me smile. I’d never thought I’d feel so pleased with myself for taking a man as mine, until the Nurarihyon levelled a glare at me… with an exaggerated pout to accompany it. “So… it’ll be a while before I could get him to let me in… so why don’t you let me know just a little to tide me over? Please, Roseanne-sama?”

I did not hesitate to affirm my previous statement.

“I refuse. My sexual life is none of your business.”

“Foiled!” Kaede held her head in her hands and shook her head to-and-fro. “Why did I suborn myself to such a tyrant!? I’m not even allowed to fantasize properly!”

I chuckled at her words, even though I knew what she was doing.

Kaede was doing her best to be personable, to become my friend, and reach Hachiman through me… even though I wouldn’t order him to bed her.

She was merely using me to spend more time with him and perhaps hasten her acceptance.

Which was surprisingly fine with me.

She was doing things properly and treating him like someone to appease and gain affection from.

Not as a mere beast to be bred by.

That alone elevated my respect for her.

Though I wasn’t going to make things easy for her by telling her anything about Hachiman.

She needed to climb that gauntlet on her own.

…

Six of the Automata created to operate the Computational Engine refused to do so and deigned to become citizens of my nation with other pursuits in mind. As Hachiman said, they were all willing to work, pay taxes, and live as normal individuals within society, thus they would pay for their worth over time as very capable citizens of my nation through taxes, especially as all six chose to remain near the capital, which was under my jurisdiction.

The seventh Automata, however, accepted the role and with her help innovation skyrocketed.

The Computational Engine was designed to compute and partially simulate through magic. Through it dozens upon dozens of formulae could be tested and discerned through multiple casts, interactions, and sustained durations. Every Mage within the department, even though who spoke out against intelligent Automata being employed, began to study Artifice so that they could one day have a capable, powerful individual at their disposal for their own research.

With Septa’s aid, the weapon of war that Hachiman envisioned became a reality… and how terrifying it was becoming evident with its first exercise.

Its pilot required either immense power, or access to tanks of mana to power the massive armored frame and allowed it to move, but with that single caveat reached… the Kindred had at its disposal a definitive weapon of war. It stood at fifteen meters and loomed over all who stood at its feet. Its weight was displaced and lightened by many spells, such as Fly and Float, so even with its great weight its steps would only cause craters and leave trails if it wished… and it moved with the same speed as a veteran, Kindred warrior on foot.

With mass, speed, and reach alone, it was set to change the very nature of warfare, as it could easily take flight and strike at anything with its limbs. Its punches were stronger than any battering ram and its kicks could cleave through a tower, while a dedicated charge from it could surely shatter entire buildings. It had enough armor and defensive spells to equal a castle wall, so only a concentrated attack of magical artillery could hope to damage it, that is… if it could be hit with its speed and ability to fly.

Then, there were its weapons.

Hachiman and I had agreed that gunpowder weapons would be detrimental to the Kindred and serve the Empire better, so we elected to abstain from its mass production. However, he stated that the “Gundam Expy” would need a powerful ranged weapon as to make it the most of its mobility and speed. Its armor would allow it to endure damage, but it was better for it not to be hit, and there was no better way to do that than to give it a means to viciously attack from range.

It took the form of a singular, fearsome weapon.
The “rifle’s” inner workings were only known to myself, Kaede, Septa, and my court magician. Hachiman had given us the concept, but its creation and implementation was left to our hands and the power of the Computational Engine. While his description of “plasma” left much to be desired, the use of magnetic fields to shape and direct energy allowed us to develop an artifact that stored, compressed, and shot a continuous stream of lightning at its target nigh-instantly. It carved through forests with ease, immolated and cracked apart the sides of mountains, and wore down magical defenses of castles with ease over long distances.

Its power was separate from the rest of the massive magical armor, coming in the form of armored tanks filled with mana, and the platform could carry a dozen upon its belt… along with a massive scabbard that held a flaming sword seven meters long.

I couldn’t imagine fighting it.

Yet we were building four more and intended to build one each for my Royal Guard before unveiling over fifty of the weapons of war to the rest of the world.

The world will tremble in their wake and learn to respect them… or be broken by them.

I could only wonder what he felt about unleashing these weapons of war upon the world.

…

“Fuck’em. I’ve picked you and I don’t have a single regret.” Hachiman’s casual words struck something within me that I didn’t know existed. It was like my heart was suddenly gripped by intense emotion while a blush flooded my face. The urge to push him down arose from depths within me that I didn’t know existed, while he lounged on a sofa and sipped on lemonade. “So are we actually spending time together tonight or are we just going to hump at one another again?”

The proposition was incredibly enticing, especially after his declaration of loyalty, but I managed to restrain myself.

“I’d like to just spend time with you.” I was more than capable of reading the room. Though Hachiman did like having sex with me, and was quite enthusiastic about it, I could tell that he was searching for something more. While my baser instincts told me to ignore that fact, pick him up, and carry him into his bedroom… I was capable of repressing that particular set of emotions for a time. “You said that our games have been updated?”

“Mhmm.” Hachiman looked at me with a raised eyebrow, as if ascertaining the truth behind my words. The blush on my face deepened even as I stayed standing tall against his judgmental gaze. The urge to tell him to look away was high, but I stayed true to myself. “Yep. They’re ready to go… but are you sure you want to play with me, instead of getting the hang of things again?”

Hachiman’s words brought a spark to my competitive nature and I dismissed my embarrassment. I crossed my arms and met his gaze with a smile.

“I’m confident in my skills. Let us play.”

“Alright.”

It has only been a week since I last played against him.

I was sure that he still held a firm advantage over me, but that I could fight against him still.

…

I trembled and said nothing as my warrior lay defeated, while Hachiman shook his head and sighed.

“I can get away with a week off from this, because I was raised on video games. You… you’re new, so if you miss a week of playing, you’ll forget.” Hachiman’s gentle explanations were like acid on open wounds. I vastly preferred him being harsh upon me, because that meant that I stood a chance and that he was lavishly praising himself in his victory. When he showed kindness after his victory… I felt pitied. “Aaannddd, you’re not accepting that. Figures.”

“I cannot! How could I!? My pride demands that I never allow it!” I have excelled in everything I’ve done throughout my life. My talents were myriad and well-practiced. From the violin, to lancing, and even writing, I prided myself in my ability to learn, adapt, and overcome. So… how could I lose reflexes so quickly and forget so much!? “I must go to the physician. Something is wrong with me.”

“Yeah, it’s called not being raised on fast-paced, electronic media with its own language.” Hachiman gestured towards the controller and the “console.” Both of which were alien things unlike anything else in the world, but were common to his people. The first time I had played it made my headache… and now it was doing so again. “Your brain’s not used to it. Once you get the hang of it, you’re fine, but if you don’t practice every day, you’ll forget. That’s just how it is.”

The words were casual… but an annoying smirk was on Hachiman’s face as looked aside.

My blood boiled at his words, but my defeat spoke for itself.

“Then, I’ll be working on bettering myself this instant.” I hesitated, but made my decision. “I will play against the regular foe. You can rest.”

A part of me thought that he would protest. That part of me was a fool.

“Alright, I’m going to lay down and rest. Have fun.” Hachiman got up, stretched, and walked back over to his sofa. He hesitated for a moment, before taking a seat before lying down. Even though he hadn’t eaten much in the past hour, we’d been dining on snacks since we began three hours ago. He contemplated his situation or a moment, before pocking at his stomach, and then frowning. “By the way, do you know why I’m not getting fat?”

“You are in the presence of Kindred every day. Though they do not touch you, they still partake passively from your lingering essence.” I navigated the menu screen as I spoke. Hachiman listened attentively while pulling out the latest released book from my publishing company. “The amount of magic you have at your disposal is low. The males that are fat in Kindred lands have had their stores of magic grow over long periods of time. Combining that with large, luxurious meals results in many of them becoming rather large.”

I was unprepared for his next words.

“So, I’ll eventually have to watch what I’m eating because we’re fucking like rabbits, now?”

I coughed at the bluntness of Hachiman’s words. It was an unexpected phrase for a man, which ignited the fires of desire within me with great ferocity. Most met were gentle creatures or grunting beasts of debauchery. Hachiman was between the two… and was incredibly indecent because of it. It was like talking to a very good friend and equal with the ability to sate my baser desires… which made me frown as that should’ve been the norm rather than the exception.

“No. That shouldn’t be the case. I would have to feed you incessantly with food laced with mana to achieve that.” I put the controller aside for a moment. I had noticed a frown on Hachiman’s face. “Ah. You dislike what’s happening to those men. Don’t you?”

“I can see they’re happy just being mindless, ugly bastards with willing fucktoys, but… yeah I am. It’s not right.” Hachiman grunted before shaking his head and looking back at his book. When I opened my mouth to speak, he sent a glare at me. “We can talk about changing your society after you’re no longer in hot water, Roseanne. I’m patient. We can change things when you’re not in danger.”

With those words he turned away from me… and I found myself rising from the table with my competitive desires smothered by more robust desires.

He put aside his ideals for my sake.

Not for the Kindred’s sake.

For me.

That… was impossible for me to ignore.

“Oi, I thought that we were going to rest today!”

“After what you said, it’s impossible.”

“Woman, I just said that I cared about you!”

“Exactly.”