Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 72

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 72

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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I believed that there are hardly any “universal” things in the world.

Believing that everyone else wanted what you wanted, or should want what you want, was an inherently, incredibly selfish point of view. Subscribing to a set of rules, and forcing those rules down someone else’s throat, was a form of tyranny no matter how “good” those rules were.

Everything in the world is subjective.

Everyone is different.

Everyone has the right to choose what they believe in.

Those beliefs were subjective, and I only believed in them because of the life I led, the people I met, and decisions I and the people around me made. While I thought all those things were pretty swell, people raised elsewhere would think that it’s crazy and stupid, and that without a firm set of rules everything would go to absolute shit.

Though I believed in personal freedom, education, and helping raise people up from poverty, there were a shit ton of Kindred nobles who thought things were better off as they were.

To them, my beliefs and what I was doing was wrong, and messing up their lifestyle.

So, they disliked me, while I kick-started a nation-state into existence and became the center of a continent’s industry.

There was nothing I could do about that, besides live my life… while attended by professional maids, the best food money could buy, and literally not have to worry about my population rising up against me.

Sometimes I cried about my peers not liking me.

Not.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that what a politician or a leader touts ideals and principles as a reason to do anything, they’re actually hiding the real reason why they’re doing it. People in another place, another time, and another society don’t believe in whatever they’re saying.

If the politician in question wanted to change hearts and minds through peaceful talks, intellectual debate, and cultural exchanges, I’d believe that they really, truly wanted to just change someone else’s culture abroad for the better.

I wouldn’t believe that such a politician could get into office, but I’d believe in them if they did exist.

However, if the leader in question wanted to change a place’s culture with a shit ton of violence, I firmly believe that their goals were anything but making another person’s life better.

I’d respect that person more if they went out and said that it would be terrible for their own interests, if they let things go unchanged in that other place.

But that would be assuming a politician would give you a straight answer, instead of lying through their teeth.

Where am I going with this particular train of thought?

Well… thereason why I wasn’t in Ylstu at this moment was because I wanted to get Henri’s ancestral trinket back. That was the reason I gave everyone present on the expedition, as to why we were going somewhere else, risking life and limb, and expending tax-payer money. Everyone understood the importance behind acquiring a powerful artifact that could make powerful Undead creatures and how that would benefit Ylstu, so I was justified in my decision, even though I didn’t need to justify anything because I’m Hachiman of Hachimanland.

I chose to retain the moral high-ground and not be a total, complete asshole.

So, when my goals and beliefs regarding the expedition changed, and when I knew my troops needed an explanation… I could’ve excercised my right to be a tyrant and had my troops do what I wanted without explanation.

They would’ve accepted it, since they were raised in societies where the leader’s word was law.

I would’ve avoided having to explain myself, and literally nothing bad would’ve come of my decision.

But, in order to stay true to myself, I explained myself and admitted the truth the moment I looked upon the beautiful creature that captured my heart.

…

Ur sighed.

Henri held her head in her hands.

Ashe looked at me with confusion and a bit of sadness.

Many of my troops did the same after I declared my true intentions towards the beautiful creature which captured my heart.

Their disappointment in me was palpable… but I endured it all for her sake.

The sake of S.S. Hachiman.

Well, under the Dragon’s control her name was something stupid, but once it was mine it wouldn’t be.

Why was I doing this you might ask?

Well, first I’d thought that the Dragon had some rinky-dink sea-faring vessel that was worthless. I’d intended to just shoot Ashe over to it, burn it, and bring down the Dragon somehow. Needless to say, I didn’t have a very high opinion of a ship in the care of a Dragon/Pirate. I’d thought it would just be something capable of sailing, which the Dragon used to hold things that it plundered, and no more.

However, that changed the moment I got a clear picture of the ship.

She was a magical ship-of-the-line. A pure white-three-masted beauty with three layers of magical ballistae on both sides that could tear apart most lesser ships in a single broadside. Its sails gathered wind and pushed it forward with the speed of a clipper, despite the fact it was a behemoth covered in cured hardwood and a gilded, armored prow. Then, finally, there was the fact that it was MAGICAL PIRATE SHIP THAT I COULD STEAL.

I fell in love the moment I laid my eyes on her.

“I know that I’m asking a lot of all of you. None of you have trained to take over a ship… but I want it.” I spoke the truth and only the truth as I stood before all the Kindred and the Amazons. In one shape or another, I’ve rejected one form of advancement on my person from them all. However, as a man, I knew I couldn’t back down at this singular moment. There was a magical pirate ship that could be mine, so it was going to be mine, as long as I didn’t get any of my people killed. “So, we’re changing plans. We’re not just going to blow it up. It’s going to be the first ship owned by Ylstu.”

“Ylstu is a landlocked valley in the middle of the continent, my Chieftain.” Ur sighed since she knew where this conversation was going. Still, my bodyguard and leader of the Amazons was going to do her best to convince me otherwise. Was it because I refused to father children with all the Amazon? Was it because it was a bad idea? Was it because I was being very weird and obsessive about a ship instead of a woman? Who knew what was going on in Ur’s head? However, my own mind was perfectly clear. I wanted the powerful pirate ship that devastate a port town with a salvo. “I advise against it.”

“Your advice is noted, Ur. Now, Henri, tell me what you think.” I was going down the line of naysayers. I was going to hear them out, before I rejected their truths in favor of my dream. They were all going to speak out against my goal, because it was an illogical, bad idea. They wouldn’t be worth hearing out if they thought this was a good idea. However, as a man, I had to stand my ground and acquire the kick-ass ship-of-the-line that was currently being used by one of my enemies. Never again would I have the opportunity to literally, legally acquire a powerful ship previously owned by the Empire and used by someone I would rather capture than just murder. “Henri?”

“My apologies, I was wondering how to get as much power as possible in a short amount of time.” Henri gave a thoughtful hum for a second, before giving a decisive nod. “My Lord, that ship requires proper docks to be maintained and be brough to full combat effectiveness. You will need to make contact with a Noble on the coast with a shipyard to care for it. That entails not only paying for space, but also placing a powerful asset of yours under the care of another.”

Guh.

I was prepared to just beat through logic, but it was more difficult than I expected. The glory of having an awesome, magical pirate ship was immensely hampered by the thought of having to trust it to someone else. If I had someone, I trusted to do it, or someone who owed me everything, I could just ignore Henri’s words. But my coastal allies were a tribal society who barely had any infrastructure to speak of, therefore I really had to weigh putting my toy-newly acquired, strategic asset in someone else’s care.

It was a great, immense blow to my plan.

Thankfully, the last speaker was Ashe, and she was a good girl.

“I am of believing that the Chieftain is always right, so if the Chieftain wants the pretty ship, he should get the pretty ship.” My heart throbbed at the Hellhound’s words, and my appreciation for Ashe and the Werewolves grew tenfold as they all nodded together. The Harpies and Wyverns were muttering something about boys and toys, but I disregarded their leaders didn’t give very good arguments, so I just ignored them.  “The chieftain will be of taking care of all problems himself, so there will be of no problems.”

Did I feel slightly bad about capitalizing on Ashe’s loyalty?

Yes, but those personal feelings were easily overcome by other personal feelings, such as my personal feelings about being able to finally work on getting myself a MAGICAL PIRATE SHIP.

In the end, I was a simple dictator of a small, heavily-militarized nation.

If no one could offer up a comprehensive argument as to why I couldn’t get myself a fantastic warship, I was going to get myself a fantastic warship.

Though I should definitely ask the locals if they could take care of it, and crew it, instead of trusting it to someone else.

…

The chieftain of the Lua’Kona blinked several times at line of questions before answering.

“You… are willing to fund a portion my people’s land? A port capable of tending and creating powerful vessels?” Huh, I thought that her line of questioning would be more along the lines of how I was going to steal the ship. Apparently, though, I my reputation preceded me to the point that if I said I was going to steal an entire ship from a Dragon, lesser nobles would just nod and accept it. Nice. “My people planned on building a new port after the threats to our lands were vanquished, but it was to be a small one meant for simpler craft.”

“But your people know how to take care of boats, right? Or, at the very least, you’re willing to learn if I send someone over to teach you?” I had Roseanne’s ear, so I could get my hands on someone who knew how to maintain ships well enough. There had to be at least one or two shipwrights out there that wanted to work on their own terms, instead of under their masters, and I was sure that there weren’t many ports popping up on the Kindred coastline. “You mentioned that your people wanted to sail the seas again, so there should be plenty willing to work for it.”

“I… yes! My people would rise to the challenge without question!” Yeah. That’s what I like to hear. Proclaim to the heavens that you’re willing to do anything for your dream, because ‘anything’ includes learning how to crew and take care of S.S. Hachiman. “We are more than willing to shoulder a debt from you, so that we can make a port on our lands to tend to your ships, and renew our traditions!”

The chieftain of the turtles said “ships” there, when I didn’t plan on getting any more, but I let it slide and just nodded along. I’ll deal with the fact that I wasn’t going to have a trade fleet going though this port paying tariffs later. For now, I wanted to secure a place for my magical pirate ship.

Logic and reason?

What are those?

Do they let me cruise across the oceans with more magical ballistae than a castle?

I don’t think so!

But if I wanted to get the most out of that floating fortress, I supposed that it would be prudent to make use of the ocean.

Most of the ships the Kindred were luxury liners used by merchants to sail across the world for very expensive goods that couldn’t be made with magic, while the Empire used magic to reinforce and power-up their vessels to be able to fight against Kindred in the open ocean.  With the market for spice and other goods about to explode with the Roseanne’s efforts to uplift the peasantry, and magic users not being able to meet demand, someone who had very, very big ships rolling around with tons of cargo from a place that had a lot magic and resources to throw around would see a lot of profit.

That someone could be me.

Or, well, Roseanne since she had more money… wait a second.

If I gave that idea to Roseanne, and she took it and started investing into this backwater province to make into her trade hub… I could have HER take care of S.S. Hachiman!

It was the perfect idea, since I didn’t have to manage anything, Roseanne would reward me for my “foresight,” and S.S. Hachiman would be maintained and cared for free!

Or, y’know, at least below market rate.

With those thoughts in mind, I stood up and stretched my hand towards the chieftain of the Lua’Kona.

“It’s a deal then. I’ll arrange for it to happen once I this operation is finished. Your people can learn how to sail using my ship, until you get your own.” Yes. Take hold of my hand and look at me with immense gratitude. Remember that gratitude in the future when I ask you about how much it costs to maintain, arm, and supply the ship. Give me half-off, or a quarter off, with that fond memory a decade from now. We’re totes super bffs, y’know? “I’ll keep looking into finding a market for your people’s products too. That’s a promise.”

And, I’ll also make tons of money out of whatever you can make from this place, while you thank me for it.

“My people will remember this forever, my fellow chieftain. My people will come to the aid of Ylstu should they ever need it. This I swear.”

I’d rather get a hefty discount on ship fees and products, but I can cite that oath once we’re brokering deals, so that fine for now.

And, with that done… it was time to get myself a pirate ship!