Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 71

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 71

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Divide and conquer wasn’t a strategy that I had the luxury of using. While it sounded simple in hindsight, actually pulling it off was near impossible, because it was a tactic everyone was wary of.

No on in charge of anything thought that splitting up their forces was a good idea. Though it would’ve been nice to have incompetent enemies, I wasn’t lucky enough to live a normal life, so it was only natural that I’d get fucked over in regards to enemies.

Everyone I’ve fought up to this point knew better than to take any risks.

While I was fighting the Kindred, whenever they engaged us, I had to do everything in power to give my troops all the advantages they could. Men at the front to distract the enemy and weaken them, women at range or manning siege weapons, and as many terrain advantages as possible. I put that experience to work against the Empire when they came at me with stupid amounts of powerful troops by forcing them into a meatgrinder. The Dullahan experienced the same fate as all my other enemies, because I was used to being on the backfoot and doing my best to even the odds.

To make a long story short, I’ve always had to confront one gigantic, monumental problem after another.

The opportunity to make the problem smaller, tackle them one by one, and practice defeating the enemy in detail never came up.

But I never stopped imagining having the luxury of doing so.

It was like me constantly fantasizing of having an air-conditioned room, with a bed, and a computer again. Though it always felt like it was never going to happen, I always kept it mind that I could one day again enjoy lying down on a comfy bed, with a laptop on my stomach, while I wasted away watching h-nothing on the screen.

Anyway, compared to that dream, having a split up appointment was more possible, so I dreamed about it more often, and so I was more prepared to take advantage of the situation when it arose.

Three powerful enemies.

All territorial and unallied with one another.

Each one a potential target because they probably had what I wanted.

Honestly, I was prepared for an absolute shitshow, and I thought I had an absolute shitshow to deal with, until I took a look at everything from another angle.

My personal goal here was to get what I wanted done, finished, and get out. While it would be nice to acquire some more allies, that was a bonus objective, and my main objective was finishing things and getting back to Ylstu. This wasn’t some fancy game where everything extra that I did led me closer and closer to the best, final ending.

No, everything that I did here had its own costs, potential losses, and problems down the line.

The longer I was away from the place where I can do the most, the more I lost by not being there, and wasting my time.

Therefore, completing only my objective was the best course of action, since it not only got me what I needed… but it also ensured that I could get back to Ylstu faster than expected, which meant I could get more done in the long term.

So, with all that in mind, I decided that the best course of action was to just have my enemies kill each other and deal with the victors.

Man, it sure is great to have three separate enemies who hate each other and don’t know I’m coming.

Honestly, it’s almost like cheating… which was absolute great.

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Before the arrival of the restraints that could hold Kindred, I set my remaining forces towards finding out as much as possible about my three targets. While I had plenty of information from the locals, it was always better to have more information than less, especially when not doing anything meant my forces just laying around.

They had paychecks, so I expected them to earn those paychecks.

Ashe, her pack, and the Amazons with the Harpies and Wyverns were all very well-trained in reconnaissance. The entire force could read and write, and even if some of them weren’t as good as others in doing so, I made sure they had specialists in the groups who could find what I was looking for. Though I made sure there was enough in the camp to make sure that we could repel an assault, for the most part I had everyone who could gather information out gathering information, instead of sitting around and looking pretty.

While they were gathering new information, I worked with Henri on theory by getting in touch with Ylstu as well as the capital, in order to find the weaknesses of my enemies. I’d fought Dragons before, and lost against them spectacularly, but since then I’ve been brushing up on anti-air tactics and had Ur train to counter them. Both Chimera and Gryphons were unfamiliar to me though, so any information I could get on those two were gold.

Well, some of the information was worthless, but the actionable intel was worth every penny.

The Kindred were very, very thorough on investigating why some of their kind were better at fucking, or being fucked, than others. And, of course, about their “weakspots” and “fetishes” which got them all hot, bothered, and willing to agree to deals that nobles offered.

Everything was about sex, except sex.

Sex was about power.

Whatever.

Anyway, the in-depth studies about more powerful kindred also had information about their weaknesses, since nobles got antsy about powerful creatures not under their direct employ.

Just in case I received information that would get me killed, though, I made sure to verify all that I could with Henri.

And, I was glad that I did.

Despite Henri being Henri.

“This proposal to confront Chimera is utterly ludicrous and born from lack of experience. Those monsters are powerful beasts with thee minds, three sets of eyes, and three forms of magic.” Henri groused over the latest information I gained from the grapevine and wrote edits furiously into her journal. The information was from Tanis, so we had the book, and I had no doubt that book was going to be heavily edited by the Lich in the near future. “Merely considering them as powerful, physical creatures with magic is ludicrous. Their senses amplify their strength. The first rule of defeating any Chimera is finding a way to limit their senses!”

I took notes while Henri ranted.

It was easy to forget that she was a smart, experienced individual with extensive life experience sometimes. Having the outfit of a luxury, free-use prostitute tended to make me forget how much of an asset she was.

Alas this was a hentai world; therefore, the quiet intellectuals had the most depraved fetishes.

I feared the day I had to start commission male restrooms in Ylstu.

“As for these notes on Gryphons… this advice would get all but a Vampire killed! I bet that a Vampire wrote this in order to get her rivals killed. It states that the Gryphons merely specialize in wind magic… it doesn’t mention at all that Gryphons coat themselves in it to the point that projectiles are useless against them!” Henri wrote feverishly to make alterations to the other book that Tanis acquired information from. Most of the books in Ylstu were in her collection, though she didn’t own them, I placed her in charge of them. I supposed that was good enough reason for her to make sure that they didn’t have any wrong information in them. “The advice suggests using fire against them, without mentioning that you’d have to have incredible heat and flame in order to use the gales that a Gryphon can summon to your advantage! Not only that, but this would most certainly kill a Gryphon instead of capturing it! A gas-based poison would fare much better against such a creature!”

The locals told me that they had a few poisons here and there, which they used if they were called to war. Naturally, the poisons had aphrodisiac effects and were aimed more towards men, but I was sure that a jar or two would be able to help us deal against a powerful Kindred. Even if it only slowed down the Gryphon a little, or made her slip or something, that was an advantage I wouldn’t pass up.

Did I imply that Gryphon would slip due to the amount of moisture swirling around her natural, air-based armor, or did I imply that she would slip due to “leaking?”

I would like it to be the former, but the latter was more likely in this eroge-hellhole.

“Alright, then, what about the Dragon.” I pushed forward. Not literally, because moving towards Henri in any capacity would’ve had me touching a part of her. Given how over-sexualized her outfit was, including all the glowing, demeaning declarations she placed on herself, even touching her shoulder was likely to make me lose my virginity. Why couldn’t any of my subordinates be normal? Oh, right. Only the weirdoes of the Kindred know what “restraint” meant. “What can we do about her?”

That made Henri pause for a moment, as she read the simple declaration from Roseanne’s scholars.

“This is about right. Overwhelming force and absolute domination are the only paths to dealing with a Dragon. We have that in excess with all your Amazons and Ashe.” Henri crossed her arms and in doing so actually covered some of herself up. Her lewdness went down by ten percent—and she’s instinctually pushing up her boobs. Nevermind. The lewdness has only increased. “An ambush is necessary, and then we must decide to kill her or capture her. If we let her live, she will hunt us down and seek to hurt us.”

“We’ll capture the Dragon then. I could use a cellphone of my own.” Henri shivered at my declaration, because of course degrading a powerful creature into a means of communication was something that turned the exhibitionist Lich on. Woman, I’ve gone out of my way to ignore your fetishes, because I don’t believe in controlling people’s personal beliefs… but I’m pretty close towards ordering you to stop being so damn aroused with the concept of powerful Kindred being treated like furniture for fornication. Goddammit, you’re leaking on my pants leg out of arousal. Forget it. My personal concern for you has disappeared. “Can you do anything to help, or are you just going to be a worthless pervert in this tent while I get everything done?”

Miraculously, Henri cleared her throat after her little episode. I supposed that even Kindred had a form of “Sage” time after experiencing enough “joy.”

“The Chimera will be problematic, especially since it is capable of creating a poisonous fog. It will be for the best if I focus my efforts on defeating it… or perhaps… we should focus on turning it towards the Gryphon?”

Huh.

Now that was an idea.

“I thought the Gryphon was a better fight against the Dragon.” The original plan was to lure the Dragon into the Gryphon’s territory by pissing her off enough. The Gryphon fought anyone who decided to not respect its right to be a worthless NEET. “Why bother changing the plan?”

“The poison of the Chimera is known to be incredibly potent. It is only second to the Manticore in its efficacy. The Manticore’s poison would slough off the Gryphon’s armor, but the haze-like effect of the Chimera’s poison will easily saturate the area—

“Nope. That’s a bad idea.” I shot down the idea after thinking on it. Henri frowned and turned her gaze on me. I would’ve been intimidated by the Lich, if not for her decision to be a bejeweled, erotic toilet with flashing neon signs. Yep, this woman taught me all I knew about noble etiquette and was my magical specialist. “The moment the Gryphon gets rid of its armor, the poison will hit us, so that idea is off the table, unless you can force the poison in one area.”

I vaguely remembered the dangers of poison gas.

As effective as it was, it spread in accordance with the whim of the wind, which couldn’t be controlled.  While there was a certain appeal towards using it against the Empire’s cities to soften them up before, or during, a siege… in the battlefield it seemed like a stupid idea, especially against a foe with power of the wind.

“Ah, yes. You make a good point. A Gryphon with a keen enough mind would do that, and it is best to expect competency from your foes.” Henri’s glare softened, then she gave a singular nod of acknowledgement. I would’ve been pleased by her approval of my plan, if not for the fact that the choker she wore was obviously a ring gag. Please, woman, be more modest so that I can accept your acknowledgement of my intellect. “I will look into turning its magic against itself. It is a singular entity and its control is mostly instinctual, so I should be able to manipulate its own power against itself.”

“If you can manage that, then we’ll change the plan, but there’s no changes for now.” I stood up and looked over my own notes. There were a lot of moving parts that I wanted to get rid of still, before I moved forward with anything. Thankfully, most of my questions and concerns were going to be answered once the scouts returned, and after that it was all only going to be a matter of letting the pieces fall into place. “You have three days before everyone gets back. Make the most of it.”

“Understood, my Lord.”

That didn’t mean I was just going to sit on my ass and wait though.

If there was a way to get through this more easily, with less chance of harm coming to my forces, then I was going to find it.

The three Kindred we intended to confront were powerful and strong, so if there was any avenue of approach, I could use to weaken them, divide them, and make them more manageable… I would.

For this region, for the people living here, and for my three targets this was a turning point that would change everything.

For me and mine, I wanted it to just be a random encounter, a pit stops, or a side-quest at best.

This operation fails the moment someone gets hurt.