The FranCast Episode 8: Beauty

Personally I've always thought you were beautiful because you are yourself. My definition obviously doesn't match the popular opinion. I find people beautiful not because of what they wear or how they cover themselves but in who they are. I stopped wearing makeup several years ago because of my skin allergies. I feel so much better not having to deal with it and feeling free. I don't even wear lipstick anymore. It's not worth the bother. My coworkers don't care, my wife and handful of good friends don't care. I'm happy to be my misshapen, asymmetrical funny looking transgender self.

Jessica McIntosh

There are differences between "pretty" and "attractive" and "aesthetics". For the same reason you choose colors for your guitar products and t-shirts, having a sense of color and aesthetics is not superficial. It's a mark of creativity. I too wasn't pre-occupied with my looks or how I dressed but living in Paris taught me that it's not about clothes or makeup but how you present yourself aesthetically when you leave the house. You can choose to be frumpy or schlubby, or you can choose clothes which express the sense of being you. It has nothing to do with the label -- in fact, I abhor being a label /brand whore. I choose shirt and ties which match my mood and energy and I often get compliments about the shirt or tie choice and I chalk it up to my choice of non-verbal communication. It's not about judging a book by the cover but by interpreting the mood the colors and patterns express. Just as you create things which express what and who you are, you CAN and ARE attractive because of who and what your are. Yes, clothes are superficial but they're just a part of the message. Just like choosing a floral arrangement to accent the room, you can brighten up your life with a splash of color too. It's all fair game as long as you keep it into perspective. Clothes don't "make the man" but they do convey a message. I refuse to be an unpaid billboard so I cut off labels and avoid logos. I let the colors speak....just as your colors speak on your products. They're cool and funky. Don't be afraid to paint your day with whatever works to make you "pop out" for the outstanding persona and work you do. Yes, you've faced risks, so express yourself around people your trust and who appreciate you. Don't let the dull, drab haters win. /end_ramble_rant

lohphat

I did not know you followed Natalie. I do too! It is true there is no beauty without truth, but it is about being true to yourself not true to what others think is true of you. Thanks for being so frank about it but really I think there a huge difference thinking of yourself as not beautiful and thinking of yourself as ugly. You are in no way ugly in any respect.

veritanuda

Fran I get what you say but I disagree that you've never had beauty, I've seen the photographs and you have had it and still have a measure of it. But of course this is by my standard which is different to others'. And this is the crux of it. You say three different things here: beauty doesn't exist because there's no universal definition, but you don't have it and have never had it, and you're happy to not have it. Well the truth of it lies in the middle, of course. Beauty is subjective, so there is no universal definition, and this is a good thing, because if there was some benchmark, if we all liked the same thing, the one girl would get wore the fuck out and the one guy's dick would fall straight off in about six weeks and then no-body would ever be happy again. I'm not surprised you don't think you're beautiful, I've know many women who are (again, from my perspective, for what it's worth, buy most of these have been 'confirmed' by others' opinions as well) and don't believe themselves to be. The ones who are beautiful and know it have almost all been conceited, stuck-up bitches who wield the power of their beauty and sex like miniature Stalins. So while I agree that no general standard of beauty can be set down, it definitely exists in the mind of each of us and we will find it in who we will find it in, like sexual attraction there's no accounting for it, sure there's a majority who'll settle on the 36-24-36 blonde hair blue eyes so on and so forth but who cares about them. They're as interesting as the people who settle on lights-off-man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick sex. Me I'd rather have some fun. My own standards are so broad that I do catch the 36-24-36 blonde but also things far to either side, I like skinny six-foot beanpole girls and girls with no tits and girls with F-cups and curves for miles and all kinds of things too broad to enumerate in a comment that's already too long. The societal pressure thing is all wrapped up in society itself and conformation and herd mentality and I for one advocate just ignoring it and doing what makes you, yourself, happy, if it's going around in CFM heels, a micro-skirt and a bikini top, fine, lovely, wonderful, and if it's jeans and T-shirts and boots (like me!) fine, lovely, great. Just be yourself, have fun, and don't hurt other people unnecessarily.

Sean

Interesting - just did that Wired Magazine test and scored 33 :)

I am a proponent of the 'Keep it small' - love the 'radio feel' of the podcast. YouTube is YouTube :)

I like the FranCasts just the way they are.

Lawrence ORourke

Personally I prefer podcasts as audio downloads to listen to on the go, so I don’t listen to YouTube “static image plus audio” versions of podcasts. But I suspect they’re good for discoverability for lots of people, so I’m fine if you want to do “YouTube static image plus audio” providing there’s also a libsyn upload as well that my pod catcher can grab it for offline playback. Ewen

Ewen McNeill

I look at some of issues (where do I “fit” in life from more of an aspie framework (see books by Temple Granded and Tony Attwood on Asperser’s and autism) explaining that I don’t feel like I am part of the “normal” world. That my mind is wired differently, Asperger’s is sometimes refered to as “the affliction of artists and engineers”. I didn’t realize that I was trans until late in life and several years after I received as very late in life diagnosis as Asperger’s. I expected the Asperser’s diagnosis. Wired Magazine published a self test (with the warning to not take it too seriously) when Silicon Valley schools noticed a phenomenal number of autistic students, likely a result of the tech companies gathering numbers of technical programmers regardless of gender. I do find that age likely gives me something of a pass with trans issues (I am non-binary). I likely present as a bit crazy in a harmless way, sometimes old people (me) are like that. To me, lack of beauty is most likely someone who is unknowingly uncomfortable in their presentation. It may not be gender, just the discomfort of a “uniform” that proclaims what they aspire to. It is just “unnatural”. And, yes, talking about such issues may scare away some member of your channel. I have no simple answers to that problem.

Kendra Akin

"We don't even have fur to cover up our ugliness" just as Sumo Wrestling comes on the TV. That's a lot of furless skin timed perfectly to your podcast. Loved this podcast. Surprised how much resonated. The sweetie pie was so thrilled when they reached mid-50s and became invisible. (Alas, even in my mid-50s, I'm not invisible. I'm almost 7 feet tall, and _everybody_ in town loves to come up and say hi. I'm always on display, always decorating everyone else's world. So I have to at least pull on a clean shirt and comb my hair.)

Zig Zichterman

You have a very pleasant visage. An honest look.

William Alsing

That podcast hit me in a bunch of ways. For starters, it was filled with very strong messages and thoughts from you about yourself - very personal ones. A lot of us are shooting for passing, and many of the beauty changes are about un-doing what we see as the damage testosterone did to our bodies. Still more is normal everyday "beauty" topics about changing the little things that we get stuck on about ourselves. With you being one of my idols in the transition space, to hear you talk about yourself as you did in this video was...emotional to say the least. The challenges you have lived in society, especially in the era you transitioned and grew up in, was definitely not an easy one. That said, each and every one of us have to be true to ourselves. I'm glad you are doing it :)

Kaylee Kerin