AYEH Rewrite Chapters 1-3
Added 2023-11-28 04:49:24 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note
Comments
Oooooof.
pheonix89
2024-02-06 18:18:01 +0000 UTCEmily's behavior definitely makes more sense knowing what we know now. The little bits about things like how Julietta likes her name? I barely noticed them the first time but those hurt now. If there is some incredibly powerful alien entity looking through Julietta's thoughts and trying to be helpful in a clumsy way, and given that this is a Thunda story, I am suddenly very worried about how some of her first thoughts after initial contact were about how exhausting people are. It might try to help with that. It must take a hell of a pilot to fly a jet in such precise formation that you never leave the bubble of protection provided by your parahuman leader. Like, even assuming the capes assigned to air forces have some of the strongest and biggest fields of authority, it's a layer of complexity that you just don't get in an infantry unit or even a bunch of armored vehicles. I just caught that this queen has the 'cutting' power, and all her swarm units are sharper than normal, with blades instead of feet and no blunt weapons at all. And I can't help but feel like I was judging Lia 1.0 waaay too harshly in my previous read. Like, she's kind of a bitch, but despite everything her parents trained her to believe for two decades about how the little people don't matter and she should always do things purely for her own benefit or to build their legacy or whatever, when the apocalypse lands on her doorstep her first and most important thought is to protect Emily. She's competitive and superior, but she didn't hesitate to admit when somebody else was right or turn to somebody who has more expertise when she realized she didn't know enough to fix something important. She gets all soft and distracted over how cute Emily is... right before Emily just throws her away for a momentary tactical advantage. Because Emily is definitely the one who broke the contact between Julietta and Lia, knowing full well what the consequences would be. And maybe she doesn't have enough raw power to protect anybody but herself from the Queen, but she didn't even *try* to shield her girlfriend.
Sindri
2024-01-12 19:37:08 +0000 UTCIn Chapter 2: "LiKe. Every, my breath catches. Have. EVERY." The comma after the first Every is probably supposed to be a .
Nait02
2023-11-29 07:50:59 +0000 UTCJust gonna write down some of my thoughts while reading... for chapter 1 I didn't notice anything different, but with the context of the later chapters, I noticed an interesting detail (this was a spoiler warning if for some reason someone is reading this for the first time here). I had wondered previously when Emilys powers awakened. This makes it seem, like it could have been the day before the incursion. Hence why she was too distracted to remember Juliettas Bday.
Nait02
2023-11-28 23:27:55 +0000 UTC
