Shape of Magic 27: An Interesting Start

<<<Amy Carlson>>>

She’d been considering it as the others brought it up on the train, and ultimately she decided to send the book to Aif. Dumbledore had to manage a castle full of rowdy teenagers with magical powers, she really didn’t think she should add on to his workload. Besides, there was a good chance Aif would have fun with it.

She’d just keep it buried in her trunk, she’d just ask Hera to borrow Hedwig after the Sorting feast.

Pulling her trunk down to put the book away quickly, she just pulled her robe over her clothes.

Taylor had gotten into her robes more properly, but she was weird and complained about things like ‘getting hot’ and ‘being uncomfortable.’ Like a plebian that couldn’t control her own body heat!

The fact that up until recently she couldn’t do that either didn’t even register to Amy.

Still, after getting dressed and pulling into the station they weren’t directed towards the boats, which seemed to be something for the first years alone, but instead towards a group of horse drawn carriages, each with enough room for three people to ride. Not that there were horses pulling them, no, that would have been too normal.

Undead looking winged monstrosities were the order of the day.

“What’re those?” Taylor asked, “They’re cute. Like skinny dragons.”

“What’re you talking about?” Hermione asked as she, Ron, and Hera got into their own cart. “There’s nothing there?”

“No, there are these weird looking dead looking lizard horses with wings pulling the carriages,” Amy said as they boarded one of said carriages.

“Huh, no clue,” Ron said with a shrug.

“Maybe we can ask someone?” Hermione suggested, though Amy had no doubt she’d be researching to find out even before the first class.

“Oh, I know what you’re looking at,” An older student said from nearby, “Surprised you can see them though, they’re only supposed to be visible to people that have seen death. They’re thestrals, really clever beasts.” He shrugged as he hopped into his own carriage. “I wouldn’t describe them as cute, but maybe the paintings oversold it? They’re carnivores, we learned about them in our fourth year.”

If Amy wasn’t mistaken, he was a Ravenclaw.

“Nah, they’re cute,” Taylor insisted, because of course she’d find the creepy carnivorous lizard-horse to be cute.

This was the same girl that named a giant beetle Atlas and thought it was adorable when everyone else thought it was nightmare fuel.

Granted, that part may have been because of its rider more than its shape. Amy thought she’d done a very good job to make it presentable and heroic looking.

“Only you Taylor…” Amy said with a faint snort as she relaxed, putting her thoughts of creepy lizard horses and her slightly unhinged sister out of her mind.

More prominent on her mind were the looks Hermione, Hera, and Ron were giving the two of them. They’d need to come clean to the three, and likely soon, just to ease their worries. Sure, explaining that they’d fought and killed supervillains wouldn’t be great, but it was better than them worrying that Taylor and she were overly traumatized or prone to murderous rampages.

“Well, technically Alexanderia wasn’t a supervillain…” Amy thought, with emphasis on the ‘technically’ part, of course.

Being a member of Cauldron was pretty damning after all. Pretty sure if Taylor hadn’t suffocated her with bugs when all that came out she would’ve spent the rest of her days in solitary confinement. Maybe even Birdcaged.

“My colonies have been thriving,” Taylor noted, “And they’ve gotten more bees in! I can get all the honey!”

“I suppose one of us will have to warn Pomphrey of a possible uptick in cavities,” Amy snarked with a chuckle.

“There are potions for that,” Taylor retorted, “So we’d need to warn Professor Snape instead. I’ll do it tonight if you insist?” She offered, “After the feast?”

Amy just shook her head, “I was kidding, Tay. But you might want to warn him about the whole…” Her hand waved vaguely. “You know.”

“... I was hoping to keep that under wraps until I needed it,” Taylor sighed, “You know, just in case of another Quirrel.”

Amy just rolled her eyes, “Just jinx us, why don’t you?” She snarked, “Besides, I think Lockhart is too much of a peacock to mimic Quirrel. I don’t think the man can even imagine himself in anything other than his best robes,” She added dryly.

Between Chuck's comments and her reading through some of his ‘required’ books? Amy’s already low opinion of the man had vanished entirely. They read less like defense books and more like travel logs in her opinion, and if anything it told Amy that the man was extremely egotistical.

“Can you honestly, truly, blame me for being paranoid?” Taylor asked, her argument reasonable for once, “After all we’ve been through, everything we’ve dealt with, can you really blame me?”

“Not really,” Amy said, “Though don’t try to block green spells with your bugs again, okay?”

Ron just leaned over to Hera and Hermione, “I swear those two make me worry sometimes.” He was speaking loudly enough for Amy and Taylor to hear even so.

“Only sometimes, Ron?” Hera retorted with a smile as Hermione just giggled in agreement.

“Hey, I only make that type of mistake once!” Taylor complained, “The next time I nearly die it’s gonna be something way different again. Like, I don’t know, maybe I need to stop a meteor with my face or something.” Amy’s eyebrow rose at that. “Don’t say it isn’t plausible at this point.”

“... Point.” Amy really had no other possible response to that.

“Bloody loon…” Ron just muttered as he shook his head.

“Only half of the time,” Amy said with a teasing smirk on her lips.

“The other half I’m asleep!” Taylor announced, somehow seeming proud of that. “But seriously, you heard Mad Eye, there are dark wizards everywhere; you never know when you’ll run into one.”

“It really isn’t surprising that Taylor gets along with a professional paranoiac,” Amy thought with an amused smile, “So how bad do you think DADA is going to be this year?” She asked.

“If he actually did what he said in those books,” Taylor started, “Then he can’t be that terrible. Narcissistic, but that isn’t the worst sin.” She paused as another student that Amy didn’t recognize got into the carriage.

“Sorry,” He said, “All of the others are full up.” He was wearing a Hufflepuff pin, enchanted so the badger was animated.

“It’s fine.” Amy said, “And you are?”

“Lucas,” He replied, hand going out to her, “Seventh year Hufflepuff. You’re Amy and Taylor, right?” The cart jerked as the thestrals started walking; their steps nearly silent, even if the noise of the carriages themselves made up for that.

“Guilty as charged,” Taylor quipped as she closed her eyes and relaxed.

“Yeah, Taylor’s earning herself a particular reputation,” Amy added dryly.

“We did have an extended conversation about the merits of gardening,” He replied with a shrug, “It’s not so much a reputation as just… me just kinda knowing her? Kinda? I enjoyed watching her duel.”

“I think everyone enjoyed that,” Taylor said with a snicker.

Lucas shrugged. “I just liked that you mixed up your spell casting,” He said, “Though I do think you need to mix more stunners in them.”

“I wanted to play with him a bit,” Taylor admitted, “I never claimed to be a good person, just a perfect one.”

“Careful Tay, you’re inner sadist is showing,” Amy said dryly with a smile.

“I thought the green did that,” Lucas replied with a snort. “Oh, we’re coming up on the best view you can get, I think it’s better than the lake…”

Taylor and Amy looked out of the carriage, and while Amy just hummed in appreciation Taylor let out a low whistle.

“That is a damn good view,” Taylor said, seeing Hogwarts from the carriage was somehow better than the lake view.

With the lake on one side and the trees parting around them, it almost looked like the castle had grown out of the earth; particularly with the Whomping Willow not far away.

“Not long before term starts,” Lucas said, “You know, I’ll almost miss this place when I finish my year.” His voice was distant. “Anyway, you two are second years, right? I suggest thinking of what you want to do next year now, ask around the later years a bit and figure out what electives you’ll be taking. You can always drop classes, but you can’t pick them up later.”

Amy nodded at that, “Good advice…” She said, “I’ll ask around… though knowing Taylor she’ll try to take all the classes…” She added dryly as she looked at her workaholic sister.

“Eh, probably not Divination,” Taylor said, though Amy noticed she didn’t deny her words, “I’ve heard students saying less than complimentary things about the professor. And seeing her casually drinking bottles of sherry kind of soured the class for me.”

“I like her,” Lucas replied, “You have to remember, it takes a certain mindset to actually use it as a magic, it’s more of an art than a science. A lot of students don’t remember that and blame Professor Trelawney for it.”

“That’s fair,” Taylor admitted, “I just have a low opinion of drunks.”

“She’s never taught drunk,” He said, “The Headmaster wouldn’t stand for that.”

Taylor shrugged before saying, “Oh, they’re making a lot of American food today. Wonder why.”

“Indeed, I wonder…” Amy deadpanned and stared at Taylor, “Could it be due to all the American cookbooks that ‘mysteriously’ found their way into the kitchen?”

“A mystery of the ages, assuredly,~” Taylor said whimsically, getting a snort from Lucas and a sigh from Amy.

“Well, I won’t say no to a proper American burger and fried chicken…” Amy thought with some amusement, “Or anything else really…” Though she’d kill for a Fugly Bob burger… sure she had her issues with Brockton but she wouldn’t mind a small taste of home.

Brockton Bay may have been a hellhole but, damn it, it was their hellhole!

They didn’t have to wait to get into the feast hall, unlike in their first year, but they did still have to wait for the first years to get sorted before they could eat. Not that they had to wait too long, and there weren’t too many names they cared about getting sorted. Mostly just Ginny getting sorted into Gryffindor (naturally, she sat next to Amy).

The hat’s song seemed to warn about how poor fundamentals would lead to poor results everywhere else.

“If that isn’t a dig at Lockhart I’ll eat my hat,” Amy thought as she eyed the man in question.

How someone could be the literal embodiment of the meme ‘No Thought, Head Empty’ is beyond her. Honestly between what she was seeing, and his glorified travel logs she really couldn’t see anything other than a gloryhound.

Dumbledore’s speech introducing him… helped a little, at least. He could talk well. “If anyone has any problems or trouble with anything, please just let me know,” He said as he flashed a wide smile, “Helping students is why I took this job, after all!”

Glancing around her table she just sighed at how most of the girls seemed rather taken by Lockhart’s dashing looks. And she could understand, he wasn’t her type but she could see why anyone else (never mind girls going through puberty) would find themselves developing a crush. Though the fact that Hermione was making doe eyes irritated her, honestly she expected more from the only beacon of sanity in her life.

But she knew her crush wouldn’t survive the first class with the man, she was willing to put galleons on it. At least Hera and Ron didn’t seem impressed.

“Now, tuck in!” Dumbledore exclaimed as food started appearing on the tables.

Amy absentmindedly wondered how their first class in DADA would actually go.

<<<Taylor Rose>>>

Honestly, Taylor already knew what to expect. But even after checking things out through other classes failed to prepare her for the… vainglorious nature of the classroom. A giant portrait of himself in the back and just… the room looked more like a Museum of Lockhart than a place you go to and learn.

“Need to thank Chuck and Amy for getting us some real Defense books,” She thought as she looked around, barely keeping her disgust from showing on her face.

She didn’t even have to look at the other Slytherins (not that she wouldn’t, she was paranoid, not stupid) to tell they were disgusted themselves. Sneers marred the lips of many of her fellow snakes. She knew Professor Snape said he was offering ‘actual defense lessons’ to his snakes, but Taylor was thinking beyond just her dorm.

Perhaps she and the others could arrange a Defense club? She’d have to bring it up to Dumbledore, because she doubted Professor Snape would be interested when he realized she was including the other houses.

“You’d think years after graduating he’d just forget all those biases,” Taylor thought as she found a seat with her sister, and thinking of her as her sister still made her feel giddy on occasion.

They were always sisters, since the beginning, but having it be official just put a smile on her face.

As the rest of the second year Slytherins and Gryffindors filtered in, the peacock of a man Lockhart (she simply couldn’t even consider him a professor) strutted in like he was some fabled hero of olden times returning from vanquishing a great evil!

“Can everyone see me! Can everyone hear me!” Lockhart exclaimed, “I am Professor Gildroy Lockhart, and I will be your DADA professor for the year! Now how about we start off with a pop quiz!”

There were faint noises of disgruntlement at the sudden quiz, but Taylor was more disgusted at the breathy sighs from the girls… well the ones not in Slytherin anyway. The peacock had some smitten Gryffindors, all muggle borns, take the pop quiz and spread them out.

After getting hers she flipped it over and…

“... Are you fucking kidding me?” She whispered, but not quietly enough that her sister and the surrounding students couldn’t hear her. 

Was this a joke? They were all here to learn how to defend themselves from the dark arts! Not… who the fuck cared what his ‘favorite color’ was!? Taylor just turned to look at Amy, who looked back at her.

“So, Defense Club?” Taylor asked.

“Defense club,” Amy nodded, “Want to go to Dumbledore?”

Taylor just nodded before looking at the joke of a quiz before shrugging, “Might as well have fun with it.” Honestly the rest of Slytherin, as well as every guy in Gryffindor, were; so she might as well join in on the fun herself.

Maybe she could get a school-wide petition to make the Defense club legit, while holding clandestine meetings was fun, the bigger a group the more hassle it was to keep it secret.

Still Taylor looked at the quiz before deciding to have some fun with it at the expense of the blowhard.

“Hmm, I’m going to have to come up with alternate mocking nicknames for him. Fun!” She thought with amusement before she started answering the questions with random bullshit.

Something that Amy and all her friends were doing as well, though Hermione seemed to be taking it seriously, which was rather disappointing. Still Taylor had high hopes that she’d snap out of it before she needed to do anything drastic.

“And… are those pixies crammed in a birdcage?” She only got a glimpse of them with a fly before the poor bug was eaten.

Thankfully for the class Cornish Pixies weren’t ‘proper’ fairies, else the whole class would be paying for Lockhart’s stupidity. Mostly harmless, unless in truly massive swarms, they thankfully preferred to avoid confrontation… but that wasn’t to say they didn’t fight back. At least the worst that could happen is they got loose and made trouble for the whole class before escaping out a window… or going after Lockhart for more chaos.

Fifty-Fifty chance of either happening, really.

Still she should warn Amy and her friends… and Hermione, though whether she’d actually listen or not is a toss up.

Leaning over to Amy she whispered, “Cornish Pixies in the covered cage, get ready. I’m telling the others.” 

Using her power she passed the message along by having flies spell the message out for them, and thankfully while Hermione did look offended she listened. Taylor was thankful that Hermione’s brain hadn’t rotted due to being… smitten? Crushing?

Whatever, Taylor’s just glad Hermione hasn’t gone full stupid.

Once they’d all finished the… narcissist took the quizzes and grimaced momentarily about most of the answers. Still, it was quickly replaced by his seemingly trademarked smile. “Tut, tut, hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully, I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples, though I wouldn’t say no to a large bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhisky!”

He’d ended that announcement with a wink, several of her classmates snickering or looking suitably disgusted.

“I must say, Miss Rose, I expected better from you personally,” continued, looking in her direction, “For someone that detests bullies, you certainly have a talent for coming up with insults.”

“It’s a gift,” Taylor said, “I just find it interesting that… we’re here to learn about defending ourselves from the dark arts. Not about your bibliography. So I can’t take your class seriously.”

“Rose, Rose, Rose,” He tutted, “I asked about those things to ensure people actually read the material. I understand it may seem as though I am full of myself, but there is a point to it.”

“Professor, and I use that term lightly, I’ve read through all your books. Twice,” Taylor retorted, “They’re more like travelogs than anything educational. Interesting, I’ll give you that, but not really educational.” 

“Er,” he started before straightening his jacket, “They’re to provide context for the lessons. Why, simply let Miss Granger, who got a perfect score and full marks… and who just earned ten points for Gryffindor, explain after today’s lesson.”

“I wonder if he smells bullshit every time he opens his mouth?” Taylor wondered before she shrugged. “Oh, I can’t wait for that,” She snarked, rapidly running out of ‘fucks to give’ for the moron and already considering hiring the Weaseley twins to put a hit on the jackass.

With a clear of his throat, he brought out a cage from under his desk and said, “Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm.”

“Of course this pansy would consider Cornish Pixies the ‘foulest’ creature.” But, in his defense, (as much as she was loathed to admit it) he wasn’t entirely wrong.

It was just that Cornish Pixies got dangerous in massive swarms, numbering in the hundreds. In fact, in a history book she read about one swarm that numbered well over five thousand that could strip entire countries bare. So, there was absolutely precedent and it was actually in the law that if anyone were to own Cornish Pixies the males and females had to be kept separate and you needed a special license to even own them in the first place!

So, honestly, another possible avenue to get rid of the idiot.

“I must ask you not to scream,” He said in a low voice, “It might provoke them.” Most of the class were on the edge of their seats as he swept the cover off the cage, revealing dozens of the little monsters (all male, it seemed).

“Pity, he isn’t completely stupid…” Either that or his handlers weren’t stupid.

Though Taylor had the pleasure of seeing Ron giving the man the most scathing look of pure ‘are you fecking stupid’ Taylor had ever witnessed! Really, it almost brought a tear to her eye!

“Yes,” He said dramatically, “Freshly caught cornish pixies!”

Seamus couldn’t contain himself, he laughed an ugly laugh that no one could mistake for a scream.

“Yes?” Lockhart asked, smiling wide towards him.

“Well, they’re not… they’re not very-d” He coughed, failing to contain his laughter, “dangerous, are they?”

“Don’t be so sure!” Lockhart said, “Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!”

“Actually, Seamus?” Taylor spoke up, needing to clarify things, “Cornish Pixies are dangerous. If you pissed them off and they got loose well… they could throw you out a window, never mind what they could do with sharp objects and other things. They’re even worse if they breed out of control which could result in a Pixie Swarm, a potentially country affecting disaster. Historically speaking, swarms have been known to strip entire small nations bare; leaving them entirely lifeless, and they’re not picky about their food. Even to this day some areas that were affected by said swarms haven’t recovered, even after a hundred years.”

Lockhart took a moment, but he did clap and say, “Well said, well said Ms Rose!” His smile was quite wide indeed. “Ten points to Slytherin!”

“... I feel conflicted and I do not like it…” Taylor thought.

Seamus looked slightly pale but didn’t make anymore comments, Hermione was nodding her head as well as some other students.

“Now, since they are just pixies, let us see how you deal with them!” He shouted, opening the cage for the violent creatures.

To put it into simple words, it was absolute chaos in those next few moments. Pixies flew left and right, darting about the room madly like one of her swarms. Two of them had managed to lift Nevil by the ears and hung him on a chandelier. Some exploded through the windows, showing glass down around them. The rest were destroying the class with seemingly expert precision, far more effective than any prank the twins had ever done.

The amount of useful actions coming from her classmates was approximately nil, though the pixies seemed to learn very quickly to not bother Amy after the first few were knocked out on contact.

“Come now, it shouldn’t be hard to round them up!” Lockhart announced, saying something true for once in his life before brandishing his wand. “Peskipiksi Pesteronomi!”

It did absolutely nothing before one of the pixies stole his wand and tossed it out of the window; leading to him diving under his desk and narrowly avoiding a falling chandelier (and nevil).

Then the bell rang and there was a mad dash for the door, but before Taylor, Ron, Amy, and Hermione managed to reach it… “Well, I’ll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage!” He said before slipping out of the room.

Taylor sighed, “Oh for fucksake…” She muttered before looking at Hermione, “So, still think he’s amazing?” Then she looked at Amy, “You want to deal with it or me?” She had other ways of getting her aggression out, Amy on the other hand…

“I have an idea,” Amy said, voice dark as a black-purple toxin exploded off her skin and quickly filled the room. It smelled vaguely of marzipan and didn’t seem to do much to her… but to the pixies it seemed to be the world’s greatest sleep aid; instantly knocking them out for easy retrieval.

“I’m sure he was… just trying to give us some hands-on experience!” Hermione said, “Just look at all the things he’s done!”

“... Ron? Hold me back before I do something drastic…” Taylor said flatly as she stared at Hermione, “... The man ran like a bitch after he had his wand thrown out of the window…”

“And he only says he did those things,” Ron noted, “He’s probably lying. In fact, I know he’s lying!”

“Also Chuck went to Hogwarts with the guy,” Amy added, “And did NOT have anything good to say about the man. Honestly, he’s still surprised that the guy is a Defense professor when it was his worst subject.”

Shaking her head Taylor sighed, “Ron? Can you go get McGonagall or Dumbledore if you can find him?” She asked, “We’ll put all these pixies in a pile. Amy, how long should they be out?”

“Until I give them the antidote,” She replied instantly and smugly.

Ron nodded slowly before asking, “Why don’t you get Snape? He was glaring daggers at the blond idiot, and he likes you well enough. You’re in his house, after all.”

It was a good question, admittedly, but… “I have his class next,” She explained, “I can talk to him then. And I can’t actually find the other two, somehow.”

Did they actually put up insect repelling charms? If so then… well good on them for actually remembering how her powers worked! Or at least, how they thought they did. Though now she had to worry about her castle-wide spy network being compromised.

“So… I’ll just go to Potions, Amy and Herms can shove the pixies back into their cage, and Ron can get his head of house; then we get Lockhart kicked out. Simple!” Taylor said, having a looming feeling of dread as she said the last word. “I hope.”

“You jinxed it,” Amy deadpanned, “... You should know better…”

“... Goddamnit…” Taylor grumbled.

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