Improving relationships, one conscious gesture at a time.

Hello you!

I hope you're doing well and that life is kind to you lately. :)

Today I wanted to talk about all kinds of relationships. During this pandemic, we saw most of them take a turn and many people can feel extremely lonely right now, which is completely understandable. I've had my moments as well so I decided to look into little tricks I could apply to my relationships to improve them and... it's working! I feel more loved and loving the more I work on this and I figured I may share them with you, just in case it could help :) Some of these little tips may sound obvious to you and that's cool, but a little reminder is never a bad thing, right? 

Give the love I would like to receive
Love often attracts love. That's that simple. Be kind for free, it feels good to spread love and not wait anything in return.

Questioning myself instead of others
Relationships are dynamics and if we can't (and shouldn't want to) change others, every dynamic gives us the opportunity to reflect on ourselves and grow. 

Being aware of how I feel and act around each person
We sometimes feed relationships mindlessly, without really taking the time to check what's going on. But is it really working?

Be grateful
Gratefulness is key, and expressing it is gold. Telling people how they make you feel can go a long way.

Take initiatives
We don't know what's going on in others' heads but chances are that they are craving connexion as much as you do. So don't be shy and make a move! Worst case scenario, they politely decline (people are almost never rude when you're kind). But what if they said yes?

Focus on the moment instead of the being
Trying to find perfect people to surround ourselves with is a never ending quest. I find it way more reachable as a goal to share (almost) perfect moments with people. Every single human has a good side and it's more likely to show up during a quality moment :) We can share very fulfilling moments with almost anyone, and that's so cool!

Pay attention to rhythm
Leaving room for other's rhythm can be challenging at first but go a long way. We all have different needs when it comes to how often we need social interactions and it isn't personal. 

Rituals/Schedule time
Dedicate time/energy to people you care about. Life can feel draining but sharing special rituals with your loved ones can definitely make it easier on a daily basis.
It can sound like: sharing sunset pictures, sending a little emoji to say we think about each other, watching a movie together online,... whatever, you do you.

Not making assumptions
People are way more than what you see of them. We all are really complex human beings with our own unique way to see and experience the world. The more we project our own vision on others and the more we shrink them into an inaccurate version of them. If you're uncertain of something, ask and be open to the answer :) Choose curiosity over judgement 

Let go
Some relationships aren't made to be or last and that's completely okay. It doesn't mean that you aren't good enough, just that there is something more adapted to you waiting somewhere else. If the relationship doesn't feel right, it may be time to move on.
If it feels hard at the moment to let go of a relationship, you can always set a reminder for days/weeks/months later asking if you still want to contact the person, and don't do it before (this little technic works super well on me) 

I hope these little tips helped you! Feel free to let me know if you applied them or if you have others that work for you!

Have a great rest of your day,

Talk to you soon,

Flavie.