Stuck in a Square World - April Fool's (22x17)

Is it really a joke if everyone saw it coming? Or perhaps you knew there'd be a joke, but you didn't know what it was. Well, the joke is the silliest map I've ever drawn to my memory, which comes with a semi-complete scenario to drop on your players and a couple of monster tokens to go with it.

This 100% free map (whose archive is attached at the bottom of this post) contains a small home built into a blocky mountainside, adjacent to a cave-turned-mineshaft. A mysterious purple portal is hidden in a side-room, probably the most likely point of entry.

• Initially-designed point of entry is for the players to, after stumbling through a purple portal elsewhere in your setting, wind up here. Something kills the portal, and clues are provided to repair or re-ignite it - but doing so would take days of work.
• The portal may need more obsidian to be repaired. The mineshaft would provide an ample source - but who knows how long it's been since this place was inhabited?
• The nighttime brings hordes. This home is empty for a reason - can the party hold the fortress long enough to escape?
• The storage room has an unfortunately weak wall that it shares with the cavern. Leaving it undefended at night may result in a new entry point being blown in.
• Everything native to this land would count as a treasure back home. Trees that grow in days and that grow as thick as a man? Wheat whose harvest cycle takes a week rather than a year? Impossibly stable furnaces and construction tables that simplify crafting to a handful of gestures? Game mechanics can make for interesting magical rewards. Be careful not to destabilize your world's economy.
• The zombie token can substitute for a giant zombie, too. Maybe a little obvious, but throwing a couple of these at the players in the final night could be fun.

The totality of the .zip's contents are as follows:

• Day & Night edits, with both active and dead portals, with or without a baked-in grid
• Greyscale maps for printing
• Versions without baked-in lighting effects for dynamic lighting users
• 17 miscellaneous furniture tokens
• Creeper & zombie tokens
• All of the raw .kra files, uncompressed and with layers intact

The map is 22 tiles wide and 17 tall, or 2x2 US Letter sheets big when printed at a resolution of 100ppi. The monster tokens are 280x280, which should allow for use as tokens up to a 4x4 size if you want to have really big creepers or something.

Finally, thank you to all my supporters for helping fund this complete nonsense. The other map I'll be publishing this week will be better, I promise.

addendum - the real prank is that square meters are 3.3 feet (rounded to 3 feet/60 pixels) and the grid is 5 feet, so the grid by default doesn't match the blocks :^)