Unorthodox Farming: Chapter 16

Does anyone know if you can add tables to Patreon? I couldn't add Arnold's stat screen the way I wanted.

Chapter 16

As sunlight crept over the horizon, my Farmer's Rest promotion forced me awake. There was no surge of adrenaline or rush of energy. One moment, I was fast asleep, and the next, I was wide awake. The exhaustion from the night before was mostly gone, but I wasn't ready to tackle life. I felt lethargic. Even lazy. Like everything required too much effort.

Opening my eyes was nearly too much.

With my attributes and champion's mark, that meant one thing. I needed rest. But going back to sleep was impossible. My promotion made sure of that.  

For what felt like the hundredth time, I lay in bed, grateful that Ranic had backed me up when I told Beldose I was taking a promotion that would improve my sleep. There had been so many knocks on my door during the night that I wouldn't have gotten half as much sleep without it.

As I lay there staring at my ceiling, I began to pull my thoughts together and question what exactly had happened during the night. Between gaining my champion's mark and moving into my manor, a few dozen random women had knocked on my door, hoping I was feeling as frisky. The only reason I hadn't been surprised by those visits or the ones last night was that Ilia had recognised the changes I'd undergone when I gained my mark and warned me what to expect.

However, nothing she said matched what I'd experienced from Nita's friends. That sort of reaction should have only occurred if my charisma was over 300. It wasn't even close to that.

I opened my interface to check if my stats had changed during my recovery.

Name: Arnold
Class: Champion Farmer
Level: 99, 100%

STATS
Health: 6818
Stamina: 4354
Mana: 3920

ATTRIBUTES
Strength: 66
Endurance: 311
Dexterity: 53
Agility: 65
Constitution: 487
Intelligence: 280
Wisdom: 101
Charisma: 187
Luck: 140

TITLES
Incarnate: People find you 500% more interesting.
Wiseman: +10 Wisdom
Landlord: +2 Intelligence +2 Charisma
Skill Master: +60% to skill experience
Woods’ Master: +2 Intelligence +2 Wisdom
Stone Master: +1 Strength
Sage: People find you 100% more interesting when speaking about lore.

MARKS
Familiar:
-You can draw upon your familiar’s mana pool.
Privacy:
-Your information is your own.
Mental Immunity:
-Immunity to charm effects and spells, except channelled spells.
Greater Fearless:
-Immunity to the threat of great pain inducing fear.
Crown’s Champion:
-+40 to all attributes +40% to Health, Stamina, and Mana.
Blackwood:
-Growth Perk 1
-Population Perk 1
-Deputised
-Economy Perk 1

I checked and double-checked, but didn't see any change beyond the 24-point increase from a few days ago. Even with that increase, my charisma was below 200.

Last night didn't make sense.

Misk's shaky voice interrupted my musing. "You'll understand once you look at yourself in the mirror."

I dismissed my interface, heaved myself up on my elbow, and turned to the corner of the room where Misk was meditating and standing guard in case the demon lord showed up. "What do you mean?"

Misk covered his mouth with his sleeve as he coughed up morning phlegm, burning it away with a spell. "You never recovered from gaining your champion's mark, so the full effects of your charisma were only revealed last night."

Crap.

Misk pointed to the nightstand beside the bed. "There's a hand mirror in the top drawer."

I stifled a yawn and retrieved the mirror.

My first thought when I saw myself was that Orlana's concerns about me causing turmoil were justified. There was no trace of the gorgeous, hollow-cheeked, sunken-eyed, misunderstood poet I'd seen in the mirror these past few months. Instead, a perfected version of my old self stared back.

Only younger.

Like, double-checking my ID at a bar, younger.

Seeing my familiar features brought a smile to my face, hitting me with a pair of boyband-heart-melting dimples and teeth so white they would glow in the dark. Any Texan father whose daughter brought home a guy half as handsome and cute would find himself needing to clean his guns on the kitchen counter while his wife tried to convince him a teen pregnancy wouldn't ruin their daughter's life.   

Any flaws I'd once had were gone.

The face staring back at me had gone beyond the ideal version of myself. It had begun to take on that impossible quality only those with extremely high charisma possessed. I was cute, hot, and handsome, and so young I wanted to pinch my own damn cheek.

Misk gave me time to process the changes.

When I finally lowered the mirror, I only had one question. "Why do I look like me again?"

"It would appear that when you gained your champion's mark, your body lacked the resources it needed to fully transform your bone structure."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

There was no accusation in my tone, just curiosity. Misk was the sort of person who thought through every action.

"It's unheard of for a champion to have strength as low as yours. Torvac and I honestly didn't know what to expect after you gained your mark. We also didn't want to get your hopes up when we saw how upset the changes to your appearance made you."

I considered what he'd said and tiredly nodded. "You probably made the right call."

If I thought there was a chance of getting my old appearance back, I would have convinced myself it would happen. That would have made the entire situation worse if they were wrong.

I lifted the mirror again, and my smile returned and then faded. "I look like a freaking child."

Misk chuckled. "What did you expect?"

The tone of his voice made me feel like I was missing something. Misk noticed my silence and answered my question without me needing to ask.

"Higher constitution makes you younger. Higher strength makes you younger. Higher charisma makes you look younger. And a champion's mark prevents your body from scarring, including sun damage, which makes you look younger. The only reason you haven't looked like you're still in your teens these past few months is that walking around half-starved ages you. You seem to forget that you have a ridiculous amount of attributes for someone in their early thirties."

I'd seen myself and everyone else getting younger as their attributes rose, but I'd never seen anyone this young, so I hadn't even considered that it could be a possibility. "Please don't tell me I'm going to look even younger when I gain my second class."

"It's unlikely. The main reason you look so young is the same reason your charisma is so much more powerful than it should be. Your attributes are unbalanced. Once you begin to increase your strength, your bones will thicken to support the changes that come with higher strength. It will leave you with a more adult appearance, which isn't quite so fine boned."

That wasn't what I wanted to hear. If Farentine had her way, I was going to be a teen heartthrob for years.

I stifled a groan. "No one is going to take me seriously."

Misk leaned against the wall behind him and folded his arms. "You're a self-made man. You may see a child when you look in the mirror, but anyone of means will see a man who has achieved a great deal of success in a fraction of the time it would take them. And anyone who disregards you because of your youthful appearance isn't competent enough for you to value their opinion."

"Really?"

Misk nodded. "I'm not trying to make you feel better. I'm telling you the simple truth."

"I needed to hear that."

"Happy to help."

"If you wanted to help, you could have warned me I looked like a child last night?"

Misk shook his head. "You probably won't remember this, but when you found Torvac and I drinking in the restaurant, you were swaying on your feet. You should have passed out in the kitchen when you finished your recovery, but your concerns about the demon lord caused your champion's mark to believe you were in danger, so it kept you awake. You were in no state to confront the changes to your appearance, so we didn't bring it up."

That was a perfectly reasonable answer considering how tired I felt. "Is that why you keep introducing me to all those high-level guests while you showed me around?"

Misk nodded.

I stuffed some pillows behind me, so I could lean against the headboard. Holding myself up was becoming tiring. "Are you certain my unbalanced attributes are the reason why I'm so attractive?"

Misk paused before slowly nodding. "This is not my area of expertise. However, Orlana is well acquainted with all of the most prominent bard families in Radian and told me that many of their most talented children end up in your situation. Their unbalanced attributes from inherited experience and blessings often lead them to have an appearance that would only be possible with much larger investments into charisma."

"How much larger?"

"Up to 100 points."

I winced. "That puts me very close to being able to charm those who are susceptible to physical beauty."

"You're not there yet."

"How can you be certain?"

"Your visitors wouldn't have left when you rejected them or done anything as mundane as knocking on your door."

Several flashbacks of how I'd behaved when I was charmed by Ilia agreed with his assessment. I'd been willing to kill myself just to please her for a moment; none of them had been close to that. And those who were charmed by physical beauty were supposed to be more unhinged than those charmed by sound.

Now that I understood what had happened last night, I had another pressing question. "Can you tell me why everyone is so concerned about this demon lord?"

Misk frowned. "What's Salem told you?"

"Not much."

The Monster Compendium had taught me most of what I knew. Demons were non-corporeal entities that appeared only under two circumstances. They most commonly appeared during resurrections, taking the place of the soul a cleric was trying to resurrect. However, they could also appear on rare occasions when a wizard created a magical construct like those that became familiars or something similar to my housekeeper upgrade.

The Moster Compendium didn't know what demons were or how they could possess the dead and magical constructs. It didn't give any advice on fighting them either. All it said was find a cleric quickly.

However, it did classify them.

Anything classified as a demon didn't have 1,000 endurance, constitution, and intelligence. High demons did. Demon knights had those attributes maxed, plus two others that were over 250. Demon lords had two attributes that exceeded 500. And demon kings had two other attributes that were 1,000.    

Misk stared at me, waiting for me to elaborate.

"All I know is that he and Maraveer summoned it and that it can kill me with a wave of its hand."

"That's not much."

"Salem's isn't the sort of person who tells you information you can't use."

Misk wheeze chuckled. "He never has been."

I chose my following words carefully. "The demon lord knows I have Salem's mark now, and it seems to have a vendetta against him. I think it's about time someone told me why this demon lord has you all so concerned. This isn't the first time one's appeared."

"Demons always attack everything in sight. They have no self-control or self-preservation instinct. However, this one fled the moment it could. It then bided its time. It moved through our world without being detected and tried to assassinate Salem while he was speaking with the king."

"It tried to kill the king?"

"While he was in his throne room. It almost succeeded."

"Are you saying it tried to become the king of Radian?"

Misk nodded.

"What happened after it failed?"

"The king ordered him to go into hiding to see who the main target was. Since the demon lord hasn't shown up again, we assume it was Salem."

I sent Misk a copy of my logs, so he could see the effects of my champion ability. "Will this help?"

Misk finished reading and shook his head. "This is an incredible ability. However, it won't help against the demon lord."

"Why not?"

"Its class is something like a wizard, but with titles, marks, and abilities we've never seen. Its primary attributes are agility and wisdom, so it's swift and aware of its surroundings. You'll only be able to hit it with your ability if someone can hold it in place."

"So, all I can do is run."

Misk shook his head. "You can't run from this creature, Arnold. If it shows up, only someone like myself and Torvac will be able to hold it off until reinforcements arrive."

"You don't sound-" The latch on the only window unlocked itself, causing me to flinch.

Misk remained perfectly calm, so I assumed he was responsible until the window swung open and Salem floated onto the windowsill, nodding to Misk. "Torvac and Misk wouldn't allow you to stay here if they didn't think we had a chance of subduing this demon lord."

I stared at him because he was talking like they were a team. "How long have you been out there?"

"All night. We were hoping the demon lord would be able to track you down, so we prepared an ambush for its arrival. However, the sun is now rising, and I need to be close enough to you for my familiar mark not to dismiss me."

Salem liked my farm because it allowed him to live independently. Without it, he had to come and find me every day so that his familiar mark wouldn't dismiss his physical form and force me to resummon him, which I couldn't do.

"You were using me as bait!"

"Obviously." Salem turned to Misk. "You see what I have to put up with."

Misk chuckled in response and turned to me. "Orlana is about to finish making breakfast, so if you don't want to be ogled by girls more than half your age, I suggest we head downstairs and eat before they wake up."

I'd been out of bed the moment he finished saying, 'Orlana is about to finish making breakfast.'