WTF is Twilight? Uncensored Version
Added 2025-10-27 15:42:25 +0000 UTCIf you like it, we'd really appreciate you checking out the public censored version on the Cinema for Cynics channel tomorrow and leaving a like and comment.
Comments
Legit 10/10
MIDNYT219
2025-11-11 16:39:01 +0000 UTCAmazing review, Paul!
Red Mensch
2025-11-08 07:31:26 +0000 UTCIt's coming, TJ...
M
2025-11-07 18:11:16 +0000 UTCFirst of all, thank you for this, I haven't watched earlier cinema for cynics stuff so this is (unfortunately?) the best video I've ever seen from you. Bashing Twilight is easy, but you chose to delve into it and thus gave an interesting perspective. I also enjoy the fact that you really look like you had fun doing this. 5/5 would watch again. Secondly - I was teenager girl when the books came out and I read them so here's a glimpse into the mind of a person that Twilight was intended for. This is gonna be a long-ass comment, nobody ain't got time to read this probably :D When you start the video by saying that it's pure power fantasy for women, I felt quite irritated: power fantasy for women can't look that absurd and dumb, those movies are awful, and besides, I'm not like the other girls! I'm not into that kind of power fantasy! But the more I thought about it, the more I kind of have to accept your point of view. So, teenager me noticed that Bella is quite bland and actually kinda mean bitch, because the books let us see her hateful thoughts. The movies convey her thought just via her constant sour face, almost like she's constipated and smelling rancid farts at the same time. That bitchiness didn't prevent me from relating to her in the books though. Her relationship to Edward was toxic from the start like you mentioned, but from my teenager point of view, HE was the asshole most of the time. I fucking bawled my eyes out when he acted distant and made Bella believe that he doesn't like her at all "for her own safety", just after portraying himself as a safe and dependable person to vulnerable Bella. As if he had the right to decide what's best for her, as if he had the right to jump in and out of Bella's life as he pleases. I guess he groomed her and then regretted it, but teenager me didn't see it that way, teenager me saw Bella as independent person and Edward as her equal. Of course, I associated Edward with my RL crush, so I wasn't reading about Bella and Edward, I was reading about me and my crush. So when Bella - portrayed as powerless, weak, incapable of making decisions for herself, treated as inferior in the relationship - takes back control of her life by almost offing herself, THAT is the power fantasy. That is like saying, yeah you're a demigod, yeah you're powerful, but just fucking watch me and try that "Imma protect you by rejecting you and breaking your heart" shit again. Edward is a scumbag who toys with her and disregards her feelings and yet has the audacity to claim he's protecting her. I hate his fucking guts, he's a pitiful manchild and a coward who cannot admit his flaws, sees Bella as weak and infantile, sees himself as righteous, cannot give her the agency she deserves, and he cannot fathom what kind of misery he puts her through. He doesn't even fucking know her (as she's basically the only one he can't easily read) and yet he thinks he knows what's best for her. He deserved the sweet agony when he thought Bella is dead, like that's what you get for being a dense, selfish, patronising, pitiful idiot. And yet he plays the victim by trying to then off himself. UGH. Edward also looks constantly pained and edgy in the movies, and I guess Robert is trying to convey Edward's self-pity that way. IIRC he said in some interview that he hates the character and that's why he looks constantly depressed and disgusted in the movies. I felt bad for Jacob. Bella basically friendzoned him and he definitely didn't deserve that. He was a mentally sound and naive boy who would have been a good, kind partner, whereas Bella and Edward are both toxic and insane. So I was worried that he won't have a happy ending. Boy, was I surprised when he imprinted on the child who just happens to grow quick to adulthood and then stop aging, and werewolves just happen to age very slowly, ensuring a happy, long life for them. Life finds a way, huh. And that theme of "unlikely happy endings" continued when the war was basically "just a dream", nobody died, Bella and her child were left alone by the bad guys for some reason, all was good with the werewolves and Bella's father etc. It's definitely bad literature, the ending felt flat and dissatisfying. And yet, I kinda preferred having a happily ever after even though it doesn't make any sense; actual consequences to the main characters would have made my teenager girl fee-fees explode. I really relate to your sentiment that the saga was kinda fun, possibly worth the time, even though the plot is embarrassing, Bella and Edward are insufferable, and the movies are bad quality overall. It's so bad that it's almost good. Because I read the books, I've had countless juicy opportunities to explain the absurd and twisted lore of Twilight to people who didn't dare dip their toe into the madness, it's been a blessing and I fucking love it. If you can bear reading the books, I kinda recommend them - you'll get so much more insane shit out of it. For example, I'm pretty sure the movies didn't explain the werewolf pack stuff in detail - how they have excess pair of pants tied to their legs bc their clothes rip apart every time they turn to wolf (so they're naked when they turn back) - how the wolves hear each others thoughts, so they hear and comment on Jacob's thoughts as well - how they find the only female wolf's (Leah, I think?) bitchy teenager girl thoughts unbearable, etc. Ty again for the awesome video and also thanks for inspiring me to write this wall of text! Ps. here's a recommendation for your watch list: Midnight Gospel, 1 season animated mini series created by Duncan Trussell, a podcaster. The episodes include snippets of him interviewing guests in his real podcast and the interviews are embedded seamlessly into the surreal and absurd plot of the series. Duncan Trussell is also frequent guest in Joe Rogan's show (the "pastor" guy you guys saw recently in Onion Nuggetz) and apparently he also has some controversy shit. Might be a worthwhile piece of content for you guys.
syysky
2025-11-07 17:14:50 +0000 UTCHaving to make the movie footage a mirror image of itself to avoid copyright infringement is always frustrating. They’re driving like Brits in this video. Sorry for the inconvenience Paul and Amelia.
Thomasaurus Rex
2025-11-06 03:32:39 +0000 UTCDamn paul I didn't know you had abs like that. Great job. You severally understated alice. She is literally the only thing that is remotely likable in that god forsaken series. The simple ability to have more emotional depth than a potato made her the stand out star. I wish I was being hyperbolic. It is such a terrible series that it turned me into a god believer because I knew in my heart that this shit was forsaken and cast from the pits of the bad hell. Not even the fun hell with demon sluts.
thomas
2025-11-06 03:29:09 +0000 UTCBrillianit shit, Paul! And great editing, Amelia! Thanks to both of you for an hour of Tomat-worthy entertainment.
Craplatte
2025-11-01 16:35:50 +0000 UTCBravo
10baseballdmo
2025-10-31 05:05:34 +0000 UTCBella Ego is horrific.
Another Anonymous Pussy
2025-10-30 15:23:13 +0000 UTCStill think about that joke you guys made About Brett K being in twilight
Michael
2025-10-29 13:07:00 +0000 UTCHated Edward until then
Michael
2025-10-29 13:06:03 +0000 UTCList to twilight commentary on
Michael
2025-10-29 13:05:50 +0000 UTCImpressive commitment Paul, you even shaved your beard, though I know 'someone' likely forced you to do it. Great work mate.
JDTaylor
2025-10-29 12:16:34 +0000 UTCDitto mate. I couldnt fullscreen the video in Patreon, had to watch it in Youtube, (as a last resort).
JDTaylor
2025-10-29 12:15:42 +0000 UTCB d. T N. G. X.
Clockwerk
2025-10-29 10:08:16 +0000 UTCThis was fucking awesome! Well worth the wait, for sure. I can't wait to tune into the next one.
Robert Messersmith
2025-10-29 02:35:55 +0000 UTCAmazing project, thank you so much
Shams Bouteille
2025-10-29 00:59:55 +0000 UTCLove it, but the player fucking sucks! Had to switch to the censored YouTube version.
Sergey S
2025-10-28 21:53:08 +0000 UTCNow that is commitment to a project. Amazing!
Nihilist Turtle
2025-10-28 20:19:11 +0000 UTCDude amazing review and i just love the commitment to the project! 10/10
Michael Sewell
2025-10-28 20:03:09 +0000 UTCI loved it
Sam
2025-10-28 18:22:41 +0000 UTCOK now that was worth the fucking wait! I see now why this took a while to do, and bless your heart for the dedication man.
MasterplanDan!
2025-10-28 18:18:23 +0000 UTCThank you for this
loosegoose
2025-10-28 17:54:28 +0000 UTCThis was fucking amazing.. great job Paul and Amelia!
Noble Ape
2025-10-28 16:48:14 +0000 UTCThe howling WerPaul is the funniest shit I've seen in a long while
Kasper Nilsson
2025-10-28 15:39:15 +0000 UTCI need to see a Twilight with Paul as Jacob, TJ as Edward, and Scotty as Bella
Scott Everett Twerdahl
2025-10-28 15:20:35 +0000 UTCSo good
Dripdr0p
2025-10-28 11:44:58 +0000 UTCYou must be a woman, right?
Ishaan govardhan
2025-10-28 11:11:02 +0000 UTCThis was a blast
Kathryn Lewis
2025-10-28 11:09:14 +0000 UTCThis was some of your best work Paul! Would love more vidyas like this on other films and series! 🙏
Chazz Darby AKA Martine Garbagio
2025-10-28 09:50:46 +0000 UTCI think shirtless Paul might have turned me gay.
Lord Flaynus the flayed anus
2025-10-28 07:13:52 +0000 UTCGreat work Paul.
Lord Flaynus the flayed anus
2025-10-28 06:57:35 +0000 UTCGreat review!!! Doug Walker and James Rolfe are smoking nervously in the corner. And I just loved the Sharpie abs, haven’t seen it since “Meet The Spartans”, a cinematic abortion i KNOW Paul watched at some point. I’ve had a wonderful evening with this.
Russian Jackal
2025-10-28 06:11:54 +0000 UTCI dated a girl who threw me in to a love triangle similar to Bella. Paul is so based when it comes to calling Bella out.
bard.of.da.21st.century
2025-10-28 04:53:00 +0000 UTCVery good. It really is perfect for what you said, just so bad its good, corny and cringe, had a lot fun making fun of these to my ex who loved them.
southside99999
2025-10-28 04:25:30 +0000 UTCWhat streaming for a living does to a mfer
The East
2025-10-28 04:10:57 +0000 UTCPaul got me pregnant 13 years ago
Zemblanity
2025-10-28 03:59:06 +0000 UTCFucks, shits, and sex stuff
PESSIMIST PRODUCTIONS
2025-10-28 03:08:42 +0000 UTCMost Excellent 🙏 An All-Star cast to be sure 🌞
Deep Fried Brains
2025-10-28 03:00:47 +0000 UTCPure cinema
Christian McDougall
2025-10-28 02:38:34 +0000 UTCThis is one of my favorite things Paul has done. The on-site scenes of Paul really makes it too, seriously. 10/10
slamdunck
2025-10-28 01:13:31 +0000 UTCAwesome video, Paul. Really appreciate the effort that went into this!
Samuel Hollins
2025-10-28 00:07:31 +0000 UTCPaul you have really outdone yourself here. So glad to see Cinema for Cynics back and better than ever. Bravo!! Encore!!
Junkbot
2025-10-27 23:45:23 +0000 UTCFuck that noise, you still owe me $5.
Juggalo_V
2025-10-27 23:19:40 +0000 UTCI'm curious, what parts is going to be censored?
Noé Guzman Jr
2025-10-27 22:40:58 +0000 UTCIncredible work, Paul. I admit I was a bit perplexed when I learned you were doing such a major retrospective on Twilight of all things, but you managed to make it interesting as hell.
Trent
2025-10-27 22:30:18 +0000 UTC5 minutes in, and this is epic.
Supergirl's BF
2025-10-27 22:26:39 +0000 UTCFeels like I need to pay more for this
Cristian Puscas
2025-10-27 22:21:54 +0000 UTCI absolutely loved this and appreciate the work that went into it. But, I have to be the bearer of bad news. The first vampires that sparkled were some of the coolest vamps in the genre, that of The Lost Boys. Check out Feldman's jacket after they exit the cave. Schumacher=gay man=sparkly bloood!
Rob DiLauro
2025-10-27 22:07:17 +0000 UTCOUT FUCKING STANDING
Glaring Through Oblivion
2025-10-27 21:52:16 +0000 UTCExcellent work, Parkey's, excellent work. Well worth the wait.
Lee Russell
2025-10-27 21:36:20 +0000 UTCI was forced to do a report on Stephanie Myers in high-school and I believe my assessment back then still stands now. She was a lonely repressed Mormon housewife using the only outlet she could to express her deeply repressed sexuality and desire for intimacy. The voice of a million lonely unloved repressed housewives. A female power fantasy for the repressed and entraped not exactly all across the board. Of course I guess im just different than all the other girls 🤣
J Allen
2025-10-27 21:19:51 +0000 UTCdo 50 shades series next.
XXOutcastXX101
2025-10-27 21:07:35 +0000 UTCI’m 8 minutes in and I’m already starting to think this might be the greatest video in the history of mankind. 😂
Richard Johnson III
2025-10-27 20:37:31 +0000 UTCWas everything i hoped and edged for.
Matt
2025-10-27 20:24:30 +0000 UTCAmazing!!!
Gore The Matador
2025-10-27 20:01:35 +0000 UTCThe fakeout cliffhanger reminds me of Emer Prevost's (another fat asshole) Reaction and Review where he marathoned the Twilight movies and gave up before the last one. RIP.
Michael Sims
2025-10-27 19:34:44 +0000 UTCGreat video.
Kayleigh
2025-10-27 19:33:16 +0000 UTCIncredible, amazing. You are God Paul.
Timothy Hamilton
2025-10-27 19:07:29 +0000 UTCWell done very PAULished I must say
Ben T Dick
2025-10-27 19:02:41 +0000 UTC>uncensored >uses "Minecraft" instead of suicide
Michael Sims
2025-10-27 18:58:00 +0000 UTCBet Paul's tiddies will be 2 hot 4 youtube
Michael Sims
2025-10-27 18:51:24 +0000 UTCTop Shelf
TheVirginMandy
2025-10-27 18:22:18 +0000 UTCI've never watched the twilight movies, never cared about em. But this was entertaining as hell, great job Paul
AlterEgoIII
2025-10-27 18:15:22 +0000 UTCSeeing Paul with drawn on abs howling on a random rock in the Pacific Northwest is fucking gold
RickScaggs
2025-10-27 18:09:47 +0000 UTCAmazing video! C4C is great again.
Garrett R
2025-10-27 18:08:05 +0000 UTCPaul doesn't have a beard
knight of the rueful figure
2025-10-27 18:00:38 +0000 UTCSensational
Xaqeer
2025-10-27 17:48:19 +0000 UTCThis was great! Nice job Paul and I can't wait to see what's in store next.
Trent Smitty
2025-10-27 17:39:57 +0000 UTCHow did you get a heart and no one else did
Michael Sims
2025-10-27 17:32:20 +0000 UTCVery entertaining and informative, I knew i was correct to never watch any twilight. You guys have definitely helped me tell a good film from a bad one.
Frederick Borrell
2025-10-27 17:19:58 +0000 UTCPaul outside in a place other than his own property is fascinating.
PastaAlfredo
2025-10-27 17:18:12 +0000 UTCFINALLY
Christian McDougall
2025-10-27 17:14:46 +0000 UTCThis is SICK!
Cassandra Lewis
2025-10-27 17:08:19 +0000 UTCA strong return, well done Paul (and Amelia)!
Cwac Cwac
2025-10-27 17:02:54 +0000 UTCJust finished it. Good fucking work Paul, that was sick.
Aaron Krupp
2025-10-27 17:01:39 +0000 UTCI came for the vampire twinkiness, but I stayed for the Pualish jiggliness. I love this. Great work!
Phantomology
2025-10-27 16:57:19 +0000 UTCThis... was... fucking... AWESOME!! OUTSTANDING WORK, PAUL!! "I WILL SOON BE A GREEK GOD!! MY PLACE AMONGST OLYMPUS IS ASSURED!!"- PaulsEgo. Well done, my good sir. Well fucking done!!
Apacheviking210
2025-10-27 16:56:09 +0000 UTCFuck yeah that was just what I wanted
Charlie Rea
2025-10-27 16:39:09 +0000 UTCLoving this!
David
2025-10-27 16:10:53 +0000 UTCYou can see how much work has been put into this. Amazing stuff. Congrats Paul
Ashley Mcgimpsey
2025-10-27 15:55:48 +0000 UTCNew C4C before GTA6
Michael Sims
2025-10-27 15:52:45 +0000 UTCSweet! The long awaited breakdown of the cinematic masterpiece that is the twilight saga. My favorite part is how they wait until they're married to have sex, like good morman vampires.
Zach
2025-10-27 15:49:36 +0000 UTCHell yeah
Dan K
2025-10-27 15:48:18 +0000 UTCFuck, now I'm not gonna get shit done today
Aaron Krupp
2025-10-27 15:46:11 +0000 UTCFINALLY! The Cynic HAS COME BACK to the Cinema!
Venom singing My Way in the Philippines
2025-10-27 15:46:08 +0000 UTC
