Harry Potter and the Monster Books Part 2

Harry glanced up from blasting one of the bedrooms with scouring charms when Fred and George walked into the room. "Hey."

"Bit of summer cleaning?" Fred asked with a grin.

"My cleaning spells needed work and the house is warded," Harry replied, not wanting to explain that he needed to blow off some steam.

"Most magical homes are warded, it keeps the Ministry from poking their noses into exactly what spells you're casting. Can you actually imagine the Malfoys putting up with the Ministry knowing every questionable spell they cast because Draco is living there?" George asked.

"Not really," Hermione admitted, wondering if she could get her house warded so she could practice over the summers. 'Probably not worth the hassle, I only have one summer left and then I'll be seventeen.'

"I'm surprised the Ministry hasn't tried to ban that sort of ward," Harry grumbled.

"They'd get voted out of office or set on fire and it actually saves them a lot of work because the Trace can't actually detect who casts a spell, just that magic was used around the person with the Trace which means it's basically useless around children in magical families so the wards actually cut down on the paperwork and notices that would swamp the office otherwise."

"How did you find out so much about the Trace?" Hermione asked.

"We have three older brothers," Fred replied with a grin. "Percy was the only one that actually stuck with not using magic during the summer."

"Pillock," George muttered, not particularly happy with his recent behavior.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out that they had to place the Trace on people when they started Hogwarts, so we asked Bill about it and he explained the details since he didn't think we'd stop using magic."

"To be fair, we probably wouldn't have unless we actually got a notice and then we would have just found a way around it," George offered.

"On a completely unrelated note, what do we have to do to get a pocket dimension?" Fred asked with a grin.

"Nothing," Harry replied with a smile, his mood improving as he thought about all of the interesting things that the twins could come up with if Sirius were helping them and it would keep him from dwelling on the fact that he was stuck in his family house. "You just have to wait until Sirius and Dumbledore get back. The mine spell should be safe enough, but it doesn't hurt to make sure."

"We should probably ask Sirius or Professor Dumbledore about the Trace, I'd rather not get a notice just because I stepped into the mine and someone else was using magic," Hermione suggested, wondering if the mine was a better way to practice magic over the summer than trying to ward the house.

"Good idea," Fred agreed with a smile, having noticed the hint of mischief in her eyes.

"I doubt the Ministry can detect things in another dimension but we should probably check," Harry agreed as Ginny walked up to the doorway.

"Hey," Ginny offered, causing the group in the room to turn and look at her. "Sirius and Dumbledore just got back, they didn't find anything wrong with the mine."

"Excellent," Harry replied and cast his Portal of The Forgotten Mine spell, conjuring a portal filled frame. "You're now the proud owners of one mine shaped pocket dimension."

"Can I have one?" Ginny asked, figuring she might as well ask.

"Sure." Harry moved to the other side of the room so that he'd have room then cast his spell again, creating another floating frame. "Try not to have too much fun or collapse the mine."

"We should probably ask Professor Lupin if he can find any spells for creating support structures and making sure the air is good," Hermione suggested.

"The air is fine," Sirius offered from the hallway as he dropped his disillusionment spell, having snuck up the stairs to do a bit of spying.

"How did you beat me here?" Ginny asked.

"I'm a wizard," Sirius replied with a grin as he walked into the room. "Albus was able to determine that the pocket dimension takes care of making sure the air is breathable and the support beams are solid despite the 'abandoned' nature of the mine."

"But it doesn't hurt to be careful," Hermione argued.

"Correct," Sirius agreed. "Especially if you're planning on using it for testing inventions. You'll probably want to look into some warming charms as it's a bit on the cool side if you're just hanging out but nothing dangerous or unreasonable for a mine."

"So it's safe?" Hermione asked hopefully.

"Safe enough," Sirius replied with a smile. "At least compared to the book, Remus got stabbed in the ass."

Harry winced. "What happened?"

"He decided to test one of the pictures after casting a bunch of spells to make sure it was reasonably safe. He jumped into a story about a wizard getting a medical checkup from a Nymph."

"How did that result in getting stabbed in the ass?" Fred asked.

"Apparently the cure for lycanthropy involves getting stabbed in the ass with a large needle," Sirius explained with a smirk.

"They have a cure?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"Sort of, from what Remus explained before he rushed off to talk to Pomfrey it basically converts the curse into an animagus transformation and permanently lets them keep their minds while they transform which is a huge improvement," Sirius explained.

"That's great, did he manage to get the recipe?" Hermione asked hopefully.

"He got the recipe and an extra dose that he gave to Albus to see if they could duplicate it before he left," Sirius replied, hoping that Pomfrey gave his friend a clean bill of health.

"He pulled something out of the book?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"A syringe and a printed off recipe," Sirius replied smugly, glad that Remus had remembered to grab the recipe.

"Does that mean we can go back and get cures for other diseases or curses?" Ginny asked thoughtfully.

Sirius shook his head. "No, unfortunately the magic in the picture faded, Albus tried touching it and it was already inert."

"I can always conjure more books," Harry offered.

'I'm going to need some expanded bags if we only have one chance at this,' Hermione thought, thinking about Merlin's library.

"Before we get sidetracked, we should probably take a walk through the new mines to make sure they're safe," Sirius suggested, wanting to avoid getting yelled at by Molly.

"That reminds me, do you think the Trace will let the ministry track any spells we use inside the mine?" Harry asked Sirius.

Sirius grinned. "If I was a responsible adult, I'd lie but yeah, you should be able to use magic in the mines and the books without the ministry noticing anything unless you aim the spell out the entrance."

"Good to know, on the off chance that we have to defend ourselves," Harry offered.

"Exactly," Sirius replied with amusement as he walked over to the portal frame floating next to the twins. "Follow me," he suggested, then stepped into the mine and cast Lumos to illuminate the mine, finding it much the same as the other mine even if the details were a bit different.

0o0o0

Ron glanced around the stone cottage, more than a bit unnerved by the two dozen severed human heads of children that were mounted on the walls as well as the metal cage in the corner of the room that contained a naked blonde girl about his age. "Blimey."

"Get me out of here!" Gretel ordered in a harsh whisper, trying to get the strange boy to hurry but not wanting to shout since the hag had only stepped out to grab some herbs for the roast that she was cooking. "We need to leave before the hag comes back."

"Shite!" Ron swore when he heard the floorboards creek and the latch on the door move. He grabbed the large cast iron frying pan on the counter with both hands, stepped closer to the door and swung with all his might as the hag stepped into the cabin, cracking her upside the head and dropping her unconscious.

"Hit her again!" Gretel shouted, wanting to avoid the hag interrupting her while she was rewarding the boy for saving her and rather pissed about the bitch killing her brother. "She might regenerate!"

Ron brought the frying pan down on the hag's head, caving it in and causing a strange doorway sized square of purple light to appear in the yard with the word 'Exit!' floating over it in red letters. "What the hell is going on?"

"You saved me from the hag before she could eat me, if you get me out of the cage, I'll reward you," she offered with a smile.

Ron glanced around the room, noticing several things that seemed worth grabbing now that he wasn't worried for his life. He glanced at the hag's recipe book which was open on the counter then looked at the other book on the counter. 'Libromancy? Where's Hermione when I need her? Right, safe with Harry, where I should be.'

"How am I supposed to get you out of the cage?" Ron asked, wishing he'd brought his wand rather than leaving it in his trunk like an idiot.

"Grab the key by the door," the girl told him as she pointed at the door.

Ron grabbed the key off the doorframe then walked over and opened the padlock on the cage and let her out.

"Thank you," the girl replied as she stepped out of the cage and pulled Ron into a hug, squashing his face against her breasts. "I thought the bitch was going to kill me."

"You're safe," Ron told her when she let him go, his ears growing red as he tried not to stare at her breasts and failed miserably as they were really bouncy.

"You should read the magic books," she suggested.

"Magic books?" Ron asked.

"That's why my brother and I were trying to sneak in here before we got captured. The hag has a magic book that teaches a magical cooking skill that is supposed to let you cook nearly divine meals that give people magic."

"Nice," Ron said as he walked over to grab the cooking book, figuring his mother might be able to use the recipes if she didn’t already have a copy.

Gretel glanced at the book on the coffee table. "I'm not sure what the rest of the books do but you should grab them, consider it half of the reward for rescuing me."

"What's the other half?" Ron asked.

"Me," Gretal replied with a smile.

"What?" Ron asked.

"I want you to fuck me silly so that I'll forget all of the bad shit, you can do that right?" Gretel asked hopefully, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

"Ah…" Ron trailed off as he opened the Libromancy book, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say to that. He blinked a couple of times as the knowledge of how to teleport into books was poured into his mind, causing the Libromancy book to crumble to dust.

"Bad luck, most of the magical books never fall apart like that, you either got a powerful skill or the enchantment failed," Gretel explained, figuring it was just a poorly crafted book.

"Makes sense," Ron replied as he turned his attention to the magical cooking book, causing a strange window to appear over the book. "It's asking if I want to learn Magical Cooking, is that normal?"

"Normal enough, just say yes," Gretel told him, fairly sure the book wouldn't turn to dust like the other one.

"Yes?" Ron twitched as the information on how to cook magical creatures was etched into his mind, giving him more information about cooking than he ever wanted. "Weird."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Gretel assured him as she walked over to the table and grabbed the faintly glowing book. She opened the book picking up the ability to conjure a ball of fire and toss it. "You should read this one, it gives you the ability to conjure a ball of fire and toss it at things."

"Nice," Ron replied as he walked over.

Gretel turned and handed him the magic book then hopped up on the table so that she was sitting on it and spread her legs. "Read the book then drop your paints and fuck me!"

"Ah," Ron said, more than a bit tongue tied by the strange girl.

"Unless you swing the other way?" Gretel asked.

Ron opened the book and learned the spell then set the book on the counter and started unbuttoning his pants, deciding that he might as well go with things despite the insanity. "No, we're good."

Gretel smirked as she saw the size of his equipment. "I was hoping you’d say that."

0o0o0

Hermione frowned when she recognized one of the books that Ron was holding as he walked into the bedroom. "Is that my book?"

Ron pulled his attention off the metal frames that were floating a foot off the floor and handed Hermione her book. "Did you know that your book is cursed to pull people into the pages?"

"Yes, what happened?" Hermione asked, wondering which story he'd gotten pulled into and relieved that he was still in one piece.

Ron glanced at Harry. "I was trying to distract myself because I wasn't sure how to apologize for being a git."

"Start with I'm sorry," Ginny suggested.

"I'm sorry I was an idiot for the goblet and for not warning you about the mail," Ron told Harry, wanting to actually say it.

"Water under the bridge," Harry assured him, deciding to let it go now that he'd actually apologized.

"The book?" Hermione asked.

"Right. I opened the book to a random page and got pulled into the book," he explained, skipping the part about the naked girl.

"That happens if you touch the pictures," Hermione explained. "Which story did you get pulled into?" she asked, hoping it wasn't Merlin's Library or something she'd have to strangle him for destroying since it wasn't really his fault and she shouldn't have left it unattended.

Ron shrugged. "It said something about Hansel and Gretel."

"Did you have to fight the witch?" Hermione asked.

"I'm pretty sure she was a hag. I hit her with a frying pan, that's the last time I leave my wand in my trunk," Ron grumbled.

"It never ends well," Sirius agreed.

"Did you manage to save the kids?" Hermione asked, thinking about the story she remembered reading when she was a kid.

"Kids?" Ron shook his head. "Hansel didn't make it and Gretel was our age. She was some type of magic book hunter."

"Magic book hunter?" Hermione asked, not sure how that fit the stories she was familiar with.

Ron handed her the two books he'd collected. "You just have to open them and you'll get a magical cooking skill and the ability to wandlessly conjure a small ball of fire that you can toss."

"As the responsible adult here, I feel like I should go first or at least check them," Sirius said as he pulled his wand out of his pocket and silently checked the books for curses.

"Anything?" Harry asked.

"No but I'm not sure how much that means considering I've never heard of a book that can safely give anyone skills, mundane or otherwise," Sirius warned them.

Hermione opened the cookbook, picking up a great deal of information about cooking along with a magical system that would help her improve her cooking even further. "That feels like I just watched a bunch of cooking shows in fast forward."

"The firebolt spell isn't as bad," Ron assured her.

"Here." Hermione handed the cooking book to Sirius and opened the firebolt book, picking up the ability to conjure a ball of fire.

Sirius opened the book. picking up a decent amount of cooking skill, something that had gotten pretty rusty over the years stuck in prison. "It seems fine." He handed the book to Harry.

"What happened after you saved the girl?" Ginny asked Ron.

"She gave me a kiss then I used the books and left through the exit portal," Ron replied, skipping the part of the story that involved Gretel's version of a very hands on sex education class. "That's how I found myself back in the bedroom. I grabbed your book because I didn't want someone to get hurt and came to find everyone."

"Sorry about that," Hermione apologized as she handed the firebolt book to Ginny, "I shouldn't have left it but I was a bit distracted at the time."

"I survived and I got to see what it feels like to be a hero," Ron replied with a shrug. "I also picked up another skill but the book crumbled to dust, sorry."

"What did you get?" Hermione asked as Harry handed the cooking book to Fred.

"Libromacy, it basically lets me jump into and out of books and no, I don't have enough magic to pull people into the book with me." Ron continued quickly as he could practically feel Hermione's glare, "Before you get any ideas about walking off with artifacts, I have to pay for anything I take out with magic, so I doubt I'd be able to take anything interesting."

Hermione took a deep breath then let it out, reminding herself that it wasn't Ron's fault that the magical book had fallen apart before she'd gotten the chance to use it. "I'll keep that in mind. We're going to need to get you a camera."

"Not a bad idea," Ron mused, wishing he'd had a magical camera to take pictures of Gretel. "Okay, what's with the floating frames?"

"They're portals to mine shaped pocket dimensions that we can use to practice magic and for storage," Harry explained.

"Can you mine gold?" Ron asked thoughtfully.

Harry shook his head. "Wrong type of mine, they have traces of copper and magic stones that are basically concentrated magic."

"Concentrated magic," Ron mused, wondering if that would let him pull something interesting out of a book without nearly killing himself.

"That's how Dumbledore explained it," Harry replied with a shrug.

"Dinner!" Molly's voice echoed into the room from downstairs.

"We should probably eat then we can get back to cleaning," Sirius suggested as he collected the magic books from George. "Do you mind if I let Remus use them?" he asked Ron.

Ron gestured toward Hermione. "Ask Hermione, they came from her skill."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked.

"It's fine," Ron assured her, "but I'm keeping anything I get from my Libromancy skill."

"That's fair," Hermione agreed. "I don't mind if he uses them but I'll want them back since they're the sort of thing that should go in a family vault," she told him, wondering if the books would work for her parents.

"Not a problem and yeah," Sirius agreed as he headed out of the room. "Let's go before she comes up to look for us."

"I'll be right there, I'm going to stash my book in my trunk and grab my wand," Hermione said as she left the room, wanting to make sure someone didn't try to confiscate her book because of the artwork or because it was too dangerous before she’d had a chance to raid it for books.

"We're going to need a copy of the book," Fred told Harry.

"After dinner," Harry assured him as he headed for the door, not seeing a problem with handing the books out to his friends.

Ginny smiled as she conjured a ball of fire in her hand then let it vanish, looking forward to seeing what else they could find.

0o0o0

"You need to stop using magic during the summer," Molly told Harry.

"Why?" Harry asked as he put the last bit of his sandwich back on his plate, trying to stay polite even though he wanted to scream at the stupidity of sticking his head in the sand and trying to pretend that Voldemort wasn't going to kill him the first chance that he got. "The house is warded and Sirius and Remus are around to help if I make a mistake."

"You should be enjoying your vacation," Molly argued.

"And yet people keep sending me back to the Dursleys," Harry replied, letting some of the sarcasm leak into his voice. "If someone actually wanted me to enjoy my vacation I'd be on a beach in the Caribbean or in France. But alas, such is life."

"Alas not everyone gets what they want out of life," Snape said dryly.

"You don't get to have it both ways," Harry told Molly when she opened her mouth to continue arguing or to start ranting, ignoring Snape since he actually had a point that he agreed with. "Either stop complaining about us using magic so we can clean the house or do it yourself if you want it clean. I might be stuck here but I'm not going to spend the rest of my vacation cleaning the house like a slave, I spent enough time doing that at the Dursleys." Harry stood up and left, knowing that he'd probably say something that he shouldn't if he stayed.

"He should be able to relax," Molly argued, frustrated that Harry wasn't listening.

"Some people like playing with magic and studying," Hermione told her, then got up and followed Harry.

"She's not wrong," Sirius pointed out as Hermione left. "It's Harry's summer, a bottle of hair dye and some makeup to cover up his scar and I doubt anyone would recognize him if we hung out on a beach."

"Someone tried to kill him!" Molly snapped.

"It wasn't a death eater," Snape argued. "Toss up a couple of mail redirection wards and I doubt the Ministry could find him, they're not exactly competent at the best of times."

"We don't know it was the Ministry," Molly argued.

"I spent twelve years locked up with the damned things, they're not particularly intelligent and they can't read. They have a hard time telling people apart at the best of times so the idea of two going rogue and ending up in Surrey without help has about as much chance as the Chudley Cannons willing the World Cup."

"It's possible," Ron argued.

"Longbottom has a better chance of becoming a professional alchemist," Snape argued.

"If it wasn't the Death Eaters, it was probably someone in the ministry, possibly even on Fudge's orders," Sirius argued.

"He's not wrong," Arthur admitted. "Fudge has been doing his best to smear Harry and Dumbledore's names in the paper. I don't think he has the stones to do it himself but I wouldn't be surprised if he gave someone the idea."

"Bloody pillock," Fred complained.

"Keep it to yourself," Molly told him. "He's not above tossing innocent people in prison, just look at Hagrid."

"Right, innocent," Ron muttered under his breath, thinking about the giant spiders he'd imported to the forest and the rest of his various pets. "I know we can't do anything about the Minster but can we do something about the fact that the paper is spreading lies?"

"I can think of a couple of things," Sirius grumbled, rather angry at the paper's slander and the fickle nature of the Wizarding World.

'It would certainly be more effective than playing nice,' Severus mused, a bit annoyed that he had to agree with Sirius.

Arthur sighed. "Unfortunately, you'd have to prove that the paper knowingly lied in court and at worst they'd be facing a fine, which is set by the courts. The same courts that Fudge has managed to bribe or intimidate into following his lead."

"Dragging the editor of the paper into court would make him double down and send Skeeter to dig up more dirt on Harry and all of his friends," Remus pointed out.

"You just have to keep your head down, they'll change their tune once they realize that Dumbledore was right," Molly argued.

"What's the point of playing by the rules if the other side is just going to cheat?" Ginny asked, tired of people like the Malfoys getting away with shit just because they had money.

"This isn't a game, I don't want you getting tossed in Azkaban or worse," Molly told her as Moody walked into the room.

Sirius glanced at Moody then turned to look at Molly. "We've been going in circles and the children should head to bed, unless you want them to join the order?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Absolutely not," Molly snapped.

"Let's go," Ginny said as she stood and headed for the door.

Fred glanced at George then headed for the door, more interested in exploring the mine than trying to figure out what the Order was discussing.

"Fine," Ron muttered as he followed his siblings, figuring they'd just have to deal with the problem themselves, like always.

Moody walked over and sat down at the table next to Remus. "The girl isn't wrong, we can't just sit here and let them build up their forces. Can you give us something useful?" he asked Snape as Albus walked into the room.

Severus glanced at Albus then focused on Moody. "The duel shook him. He had Potter dead to rights and he lost because of a twist of fate. He's obsessed with learning the full contents of the prophecy and punishing the people that turned on him."

"Tom always did have a vindictive streak," Albus offered as he walked over and sat down at the table. "We should probably reach out to the poor souls that turned their lives around and help them avoid being killed."

"That sounds like a waste of resources," Moody grumbled. "They were perfectly happy with killing people when they were winning."

"Sometimes you have to turn the other cheek," Albus argued as he pulled a bag of lemon drops out of his pocket. "And sometimes, you have to hide a body so well that your enemy drives themselves insane looking for it."

Sirius stared as Albus casually tossed a lemon drop in his mouth. "So, we're killing them?"

"No, we're just making sure Tom can't kill them," Albus corrected, rather used to talking while eating lemon drops. "It should keep him rather distracted which should give Harry a bit of a vacation and increase his chance of making a mistake when he has to raid the ministry for the prophecy."

"How many Death Eaters are having second thoughts now that Voldemort is back?" Moody asked Snape.

Snape glanced down at his wrist. "Most of them aren't stupid enough to say it flat out but at least half of them realized that he's nothing but trouble when he started randomly torturing them for failing or for not having more faith that he was coming back, why?"

"I was thinking about stealing a page out of the Ministry's playbook, character assassination. If we stun a couple of death eaters and turn them into figurines or ferrets, we could have Tonks replace them and have them be seen talking to the people on Voldemort's list."

"I'm in," Tonks agreed, looking forward to making a dent in the number of death eaters running around.

"Toss in a couple of death eaters telling a neighbor that they're going on vacation and then vanishing with all of their stuff," Sirius mused, fairly sure that keeping the captured death eaters in a mine would make it so that Voldemort couldn't find them.

"You can't just kidnap people," Molly argued.

Snape frowned when he found himself agreeing with Sirius, wondering if someone had taken his place with polyjuice. "We'll need to time things so that the children are at Hogwarts and make sure that the targets don't have young children."

Sirius nodded, starting to wonder if someone had replaced Snape or yanked the stick out of his arse since he was actually being reasonable. "Of course, we're not monsters."

"You're talking about kidnapping people," Molly complained.

Sirius turned to look at Molly. "They don't have a problem killing people and we're not talking about killing them, we're just planning on stunning them and transfiguring them into paperweights for a couple of months."

"Maybe a year or two until Voldemort is dead," Tonks suggested.

Molly turned to look at Remus. "Can you talk some sense into them?"

"Sorry," Remus replied, not the least bit sorry. "I wasn't there for Harry like I should have been because my head wasn't on straight but I'm here and I'm perfectly willing to stun marked death eaters and make them vanish for a couple of years if that means one less person trying to kill Harry."

"Sometimes people just need a timeout," Albus offered with a smile.