sebastian video 98% done draft (From The Vault)
Added 2024-10-22 11:29:26 +0000 UTCedit 27/10 - ive uploaded the 100% finished version now so watch that instead :p or you can watch this one if you want a slightly worse experience like, you do you girl
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in a silly goofy mood / cannot physically wait one more second to have someone other than myself watch it
if you want to wait for the 100% polished vid i will upload that here too! in the next few days for sure, maybe even tomorrow depending on how much i get done today
okay here are the things that are not finished in this video:
around the halfway point i need to do a voiceover for some patreon comments
some instances where the audio editing means my laugh gets cut off weirdly, that i've since fixed but not in this version
need to add trigger/content warnings (for your sake: content warnings for discussions of depression, andddd i think thats it tbh, theres also a brief discussion of suicidal ideation but i was gonna put a separate warning for that because it only lasts like 10 seconds)
i repeat myself about abigail so i was gonna try and fix that
the patreon credits are busted hahah i havent figured it out yet so its super rough
edit: oh and no subtitles yet!!
i think thats it! like i said its 98% done. let me know if you have any feedback eg the music is too loud at x point, that would be helpful!! like im fully open to criticism bc i can still edit things at this point
but yeah i will post the 100% done video in the next few days so no rush. just physically dying bc ive been working on this for so fucking long and the idea of being able to show anyone made me so excited. ok love you
Comments
thank you for watching!! im so glad you think the format worked cos it was kind of a risk i guess, ive been worried for like a month now about it so nice to get some feedback before it goes live <3 i think the autism reading is a valid one! i tend not to talk about that kind of thing in the videos because honestly every video i make, someone in the comments says 'i read them as autistic bc of xyz' and every time it's a valid point! but sebastian's part of that too, the persona thing could be read as masking, and like you said the food stuff, as well as the desire to have the world be something that is black adn white and makes perfect sense instead of nuanced and messy. he's 'teenage coded' like i say but personally ive found im kind of a late bloomer, only really becoming more assured in my sense of self at like 26/27 and i know other autistic people who have had the same experience so that could be his too! ah see it's so interesting to talk about them in this way haha. i love my farming game full of autistics
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-27 11:26:12 +0000 UTCi dont know that one but my husband loves neil ciceriga (can never spell his name right) so i know the song about 2 trucks having sex hahah
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-27 11:17:01 +0000 UTCfrogs are scary tbh i dont blame u! agh im gonna have to live with that mistake i guess hehe im not exporting again, i literally had a dream (nightmare?) last night that i made a huge mistake and had to export again 😭 thank u though!! good spot keen ears
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-27 11:16:10 +0000 UTComg thank you so much!! im so glad you enjoyed it!! truly beautiful to have someone else with the same 2010s brainrot as me <3 what are you knitting??
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-27 11:14:55 +0000 UTCPhew!! Finally got the chance to sit and watch it all after a pretty hectic work week. First, massive thanks to you Fiona for all the work that so clearly went into this. I cannot wait to see the video about how this was made because I can tell it was a PROCESS and a half. This video was super interesting to me because, whilst I have always been a Sebastian girly, I have never been particularly introspective about why that was (aside from the fact that he reminds me of my own partner sometimes and we share nerdy hobbies). But you absolutely hit the nail on the head with the "growing past problematic avoidance / escapism-based coping mechanisms" point. This is really only something I have started to address now I am approaching my mid-twenties and something I really aspired to when I first starting playing the game 5 years ago. Don't get me wrong, I still love my escapist hobbies and still do return to them for comfort at times, but this is (generally) no longer to the detriment of my wellbeing / relationships. When you put it into words, it really made my reasons for batting for him so hard click in my head. I must say, I really appreciate the references in your videos. There aren't many other corners of YouTube where I can simultaneously get commentary on SDV, 2014 Tumblr, Taylor Swift, Hamilton, classic literature, and my favourite ongoing fanfiction (dying for the next A Stain That Won't Dissolve update btw). Rambling aside - 10/10 video - genuinely a pleasure to watch and I made significant progress on my knitting over the course of 4 hours. I will be tuning in for the premiere tomorrow!! <3
Abbie
2024-10-26 21:35:04 +0000 UTCidk if anyone said this yet but at about 3 hours and 20 minutes you repeated that he explains he went out in the rain a lot and felt a common bond with the frogs because of it. (also that scene made me feel extra guilty bc there's a huge bullfrog that has decided to live in my pond and i've been trying to scare him away for weeks.... sorry Sebby 😭)
air_infector
2024-10-23 23:32:30 +0000 UTCI’m only 1h30m in but when she talks about SAD, did anyone else think of the Lemon Demon song Sad? It’s about Seasonal Affective Disorder, it was playing in my head the whole time.
Kai
2024-10-23 19:03:55 +0000 UTCOK finished!!! That was … an experience. As predicted I feel like I just got psychoanalysed. I'm definitely going to need a moment. The only sort of editing note I can give is that when you are showing off your vinal cover it gets a bit blurry towards the end which is a shame as it literally gets to Harvey and Sebastian. I think there is some other image that you show to the camara that gets a bit blurry too, but I can't quite remember which one. Don’t worry about the length, given that you make an HbomberGuy reference I know I can make the joke that we all sat though the most recent H-Bomb that was several hours long and we are totally here for it. In fact, if you did happen to want to do a follow up video where you just do all the bits that you chose not to cover, I, for one, would be here for it. I am already looking forward to the companion video you have already made. The poem and the diary - I was crying. I think the format worked really well, especially for this one where there were so many questions and it was so hard to find the through line to begin with. You definitely took us on a journey. I took some notes but after a while just sat with it. Early on I was definitely getting bits of Autism coding e.g. restricted food interests (hating all artisan goods, only asks about pizza in the fridge), finding people confusing, like he is not picking up on social cues and maybe needing a persona to help him navigate social interactions(?). I love the frog analysis, I was starting to think of him more like a hermit crab - he has these moments where he is soft and vulnerable but then most of the time he has a hard shell. His curated bad boy persona is one of those boundaries, but like the hermit crab he needs to find a new shell whenever he outgrows his persona. I think he is also projecting on to people a little bit, but especially Maru - I have a persona therefore everyone has a persona - constructing and maintaining a persona is complicated and it is hard to get past that to a real person to make a connection but also all personas get kina boring after a while. Maru's persona is attention grabbing, in Sebastian's opinion. I think you can see him becoming more emotionally mature and more able to read other people, hence he is able calm down. He mentions when dating I think that there is something about you that calms him down when you are around too but that is maybe by association and that when you are around he knows he is safe. "The unspeakable existential horror of being perceived." Oh God the horror, deep source of anxiety. Excuse me whilst I go look up Maladaptive Daydreaming.
Michael Mabbott
2024-10-23 12:09:04 +0000 UTCeeeeee what a nice comment to wake up to!!! im so glad you enjoyed it, thank you so much for the lovely words!!! UGH the frozen tear 🥲 basically i made all the items at once back in february, really casually cos i wasnt thinking this would become my whole THING, and now my cricut (thing i use to make them) is so fucking annoying that i barely ever use it unless i HAVE to, so kinda shot myself in the foot on that one. ur right that the frozen tear is the ultimate emo item omg,,,,, he's an animal left out in the cold and he cry adn the tear freezes,,,,,, like if u cry every tiem im taking care of myself pretty ok i think! yesterday i spent the whole day just doing crafts hahah, and ive been taking weekends off (mostly) and evenings (mostly). thanks for checkin up on me 🩷 i mean tbh i cant stop til i get this plan through congress but angelica lookin fine af so maybe ill go away with them for the summer upstate 😏
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-23 09:49:21 +0000 UTCmy magnum opus
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-23 09:44:09 +0000 UTComg the 6 heart thing.... they arent friends fr she is a figment!! CANONICALLY LARGE ASS 😩 yayyy im so glad you liked it!!! thank you for the comments uwu p.s. omg... isnt it so fucking good like the slow characterisation of alex really burrowed its way into my brain and now i cant think of him any other way, i dont usually fuck with slow burns bc im a busy woman but holy shit. the writer was so nice when i contacted them too!
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-23 09:42:00 +0000 UTComg i love sunflower granny squares!! i made a bag and a bucket hat out of them hehe what are you making?
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-23 09:22:34 +0000 UTComg the ultimate honour 😭
Fiona Sangster
2024-10-23 09:22:03 +0000 UTCOkay I just got finished with the video and ahhh!! This was such an amazing experience. I use experience because it genuinely became more than a YouTube video. With you having your initial thoughts and breakdown of Sebastian then coming back with a new perspective and the overarching theme of contradictions while also asking us, your little Sams lol, on our views, it was all so immersive and interactive. I truly appreciate the work and effort you put into this. I do have one thing about Seb that you kind of missed out on and it’s that fact that one of his loves (and probably the most accessible one) is frozen tear. God, the potential of emo jokes that could have came from that. It really solidifies his whole “Nobody understands me. But what’s the point of being understood? We’re all just going disappear eventually🖤🥀” persona and ugh I know you would’ve gotten a kick out of it😭 Also thank you for sharing your “I get it” moment with the 10-heart scene. It’s such a good scene ughhh! Top 3 cutscene fr. It’s so unbelievably romantic and full circle I truly adore it. It made him so irresistible to me, I have to fight to not give him the bouquet in some saves. I feel like this is just a wall of thank yous but omg I genuinely enjoyed this video so much. I eagerly await for the much anticipated Shane video that I know will probably be upwards of five hours long. P. S. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and you’re not feeling too overwhelmed! Please don’t be hesitant to Take a Break (Hamilton reference 😝)!
mel
2024-10-23 06:40:58 +0000 UTCthe shane video is going to end up like 6 hours and 50,000 words and i’m so ready for it
Saige
2024-10-23 03:46:04 +0000 UTCloved this video so much so here is my word vomit of thoughts! overarching comment on sebastian’s character: he has self sabotaging tendencies until he learns to accept himself <3 about the 6 heart event, it’s interesting too that he says it’s better with three people but doesn’t invite abigail… very interesting the diary part had me SCREAMING. “i’m not a fandom nerd anymore” *extremely loud incorrect buzzer* fiona hamilton one woman performance when?? i am seated the 10 heart scene had me kicking my feet giggling until you pointed out that he takes 3 seconds to kiss you… just reminds me of the man dead face kiss stare seb’s canonically large ass is everything i can’t believe i never noticed that “sebastian IS the frog” insert olivia wilde nod gif i don’t feel the need to explain my reason for going to bat for the emo motherfucker considering you used my comment to prove your theory😂 he is me and i am him. also i can fix him (no really i can). amazing video and will be rewatching at least 3 more times once it’s published on youtube p.s. a stain that won’t dissolve is incredible i am tuned in every two weeks for an update
JuliannaTheGood
2024-10-23 02:23:29 +0000 UTCughhh i can't find it! but it seems like UnsurpassableZ had some sort of youtuber drama/got cancelled and most of the video i just rewatched from a few years ago have comments disabled :/ i guess it's possible he deleted the video? i just remember CA saying in a video with UZ and/or theHaboo that Sebastian is his least favorite marriage candidate because he's based off of himself and it makes him cringe. ahhhh i feel sooo bad i can't find it ! like i KNOW i saw that but i can't find it and it's like it's been wiped from the internet or Mandela Effect'd away forever. im so sorry Fiona!!! i feel so bad lol ;-;
air_infector
2024-10-23 01:06:21 +0000 UTCoops okok hang on i think i might be able to find CA saying Seb was based off of him!! i think it was in an UnsurpassableZ video and i can picture it. i'll try to find it! also i lowkey started crying with the journal part so i had to pause and comment this
air_infector
2024-10-23 00:03:07 +0000 UTCOH HELL YEAH aw man this was sooo exciting to wake up to in my inbox this morning. i carved out my afternoon for it. i started a new crochet project for it and made really good headway (so if you make your Shane vid like 8 hours i will literally start and finish a whole-ass crochet project. i'll even send it to you in the mail if u want LOL). anyway this crochet project is sunflower granny squares so when you said sebastian turns toward the light like a sunflower, and I was holding one of my sunflowers, I was like ayyyy
jadefyre
2024-10-22 23:52:57 +0000 UTCalso i have been saying to myself "___ has become so numb" for like a month because of you LOL. new vocal stim unlocked thanks fiona
air_infector
2024-10-22 20:56:46 +0000 UTC
