Fertility or Virility Part 3

Shane sighed as he left his apartment. Despite selling every possession he had, Shane hadn’t been able to raise enough money to pay rent. Honestly, he wasn’t even close. What little money he did make was spent on food and clothing. Taped to his door was the eviction letter from the landlord. If there was any kind of silver lining to getting evicted, at least he didn’t have much of anything to move any longer. No longer owning a car, Shane lumbered slowly toward the bus stop, where he prayed no one was sitting at. It was bad enough being two hundred fifty-five pounds. Having to stand up for a long period of time at that weight was always a struggle. It didn’t help that Shane could no longer afford real shoes for his ever-growing feet. Now, all he could wear were flimsy flip-flops which offered no support for his massive figure.

Arriving at the bus stop, Shane plopped his wide backside down, thankful that the bench was open. Just walking the quarter mile to the bus stop was enough to make Shane’s size sixteen feet swell while his yoga shorts clung tightly to his body partially due to the fabric but also because of the sweat. Thus far in the pregnancy, his body from the belly down suffered most, allowing him to wear half-tops without having to worry about growing out of them as fast. Now possessing D-cup breasts, Shane swept his hair out of his face, sighing to himself. Over the past few days, it seemed his hair had grown several inches and was bothersome, as his bangs kept falling into his sightline. At this point, he’d gotten used to the looks of disdain from others. It wasn’t his fault his belly looked like it was full term with triplets and that the sides were jiggly from all the food! Well… actually it was.

The bus ride was much like every other one. With the bus full, Shane had to stand however that only lasted until the first turn, when his pregnant belly rocked forward, nearly suffocating a younger man. Quickly, he gave up his seat, as did the woman next to him, allowing Shane to sit while the entire bus stared at him. The size of his body wasn’t as much of an issue any longer to him; it was when he invariably did something dumb, like rock forward and nearly put a guy’s head through the glass of the window. Instances like those were becoming all too frequent. Hopefully, his doctor’s appointment would go well. The voicemail left for him seemed a bit strange, as Sunday evenings were not usually a time a doctor’s office would be open.

The sun was barely visible as Shane opened the door to the large building where Phoenix’s office was located. The elevator was operational, which was quite a relief to him and a short while later, Shane found himself standing in front of the suite door. Upon entering, he found there was no one at the front counter, nor were any lights on. Under the separating door, Shane could see a faint light and called out. “Hello? Miss Phoenix? Vagabond? Virceena? Is anyone here?”

There was a loud thud and what sounded like a dog yelping and whining before the door opened. Vagabond stood in the doorway, wearing white silks, silver cuffs around her wrists and ankles, and a very elegant collar. She said nothing but motioned for Shane to follow her. The silks were nearly transparent, leaving nothing about her body to the imagination. Beautiful tattoos resembling stripes started just above her ankles and traveled up to her neck. The cat girl walked to Phoenix’s office and stood in the doorway. “If you would be so kind as to enter. I need to go find puppy. She doesn’t like Miss’s current test and got scared.”

Another loud thud echoed out of the office and down the barren hallway. Vagabond’s cat ears perked up as she smiled. “Thank you miss, the thud was enough to make puppy whine again. I’ll go to her now. Mr. Tanner is here.”

“Sssssend him in.”

A chill ran down Shane’s spine. The tone and intonation of Phoenix’s voice was nothing short of terrifying! Shane turned the corner and screamed at the top of his lungs as he immediately came into contact with something cold, scaly, and gigantic. The office floor was covered with coils of snakeskin while layers of snake were stacked around the walls. In the center of the room, perched on the snake body, was the likeness of Phoenix. The tattoo was a giveaway that it was her however, other than her red hair and piercing violet eyes, nothing about her looked how Shane remembered. Her upper body was covered in scales, and had elongated, complimenting her snake half. It was hard to get a gauge of her total size, but based on how many coils there were, she had to be sitting atop several hundred feet of snake. “Misssster Tanner, thank you for coming down.”

Her eyes, now slit, rolled as her tongue pushed out of her mouth. “I’m really going to have to deal with the whole ‘sssss’ thing, aren’t I? Thissss issss what I get for trying that particular potion on mysssself. Please, have a ssseat. Don’t worry, my body can hold your weight without any isssssue.”

Nodding, Shane carefully sat down on Phoenix’s snake body and looked up. “What is it you wanted from me Phoenix?”

“It hasss come to my attention that you have not only been fired but have been evicted from your apartment. Am I correct?”

Though the figure of Phoenix was terrifying, the rolling of her tongue, along with the look in her eyes, was soothing. “You are correct. I don’t know what to do anymore Phoenix. I’m always hungry, and horny. I can’t stop myself no matter how hard I try! I’ve gained over a hundred pounds so far and I’ve got nowhere to turn.”

Shane’s eyes welled up with tears, and he began sobbing just as Vagabond returned. “See puppy, it’s okay! It’s still Miss! She’s just a bit bigger and has more scales.”

Turning his head, Shane’s eyes widened and momentarily, he forgot why he was crying. The puppy Vagabond was referring to wasn’t a puppy at all! It was the receptionist, but she was wearing a latex puppy suit. In addition, it seemed that Virceena was incapable of speaking. Confused beyond belief, Shane cleared his throat. “What’s happened to Virceena? Did you make her that way?”

“There issss a long story about puppy. The quick answer issss yesss and no. The Virceena you’ve met issss my doing. During working hoursss ssshe takesss the form of a normal human being. What we need to talk about now though issss what to do with you. I can tell you’re hungry. To be fair, I think we all are. Kitty? Fetch me vial two ssssix four nine.”

Vagabond nodded and left the room while Phoenix held a different formula in her hand. Drinking it down, her body shivered as the massive coils of snake body shrank down, disappearing before Shane’s eyes. When the snake body got to Phoenix, the skin split into two, legs forming in their place. To Shane’s surprise, Phoenix’s body continued to shrink down until she was no more than four feet tall, making her the smallest person in the room. Oddly enough, her curves remained as voluptuous as they were when she was eight feet tall. In addition, her muscle returned, but on a smaller scale in proportion to her body. With those curves on a body, four feet smaller, Phoenix looked like an exaggerated Jessica Rabbit, mixed with a goblin. “Dang it. See Mr. Tanner, this is what happens when you combine too many potions together. The body enlargement was one thing, but adding the naga potion put my body into a unstable state. I really should have waited until morning to reverse it. Oh well, I guess I can deal with being short for a day.”

While Shane tried to pick his jaw off the floor, Virceena barked happily, wagging her tail as she ran over, leaping towards Phoenix. Phoenix’s eyes widened as she fell backwards from the force of her puppy’s jump. Virceena licked Phoenix’s face, her tail wagging so hard Shane was sure she would break her hips. “Puppy! Too much! Awwww you’re so adorable!!!”

Vagabond returned, slightly surprised by the sight. “Miss, I have the vial. Did you miscalculate the reversal? You are awfully adorable at that size. Then again, you’re perfect in any form.”

Virceena hopped off Phoenix, who stood up and opened a cabinet which was full of clothes. Pulling down a shimmering red dress and matching heels, Phoenix put the outfit on. Shane couldn’t help but snicker as the dress was designed for Phoenix at her normal size. THe snicker turned into an awestruck wonder when the dress conformed to her new body as though it was tailored perfectly for a four foot, stacked woman. The shoes however did the exact opposite. Rather than shrinking to her foot, her feet grew to fit the shoes. Now she really did look like a goblin as her four-foot body ended in size twenty-seven feet! Shane felt a bit of relief as he shuffled his size sixteen feet against the floor. Phoenix walked to the center of the room, standing in front of Shane. “I’ll make you a deal. You can be my guest for the night. I’ll feed you and give you a place to stay tonight. If you are good, perhaps I will offer you a job. How does that sound darlin’?”

Shane’s eyes lit up as he stared into Phoenix’s violet eyes. “A job? You really mean it?! Of course, I accept! I would love to spend the night with you!”

Both Vagabond and Virceena turned their heads, tilting them slightly while Shane realized how that last line sounded. Phoenix hesitated for a moment, adding to the tension in the room before laughing. “You won’t just be spending the night with me. You’ll be spending the night with all of us. Kitty my dear, would you kindly give the vial to Mr. Tanner?”

The vial was placed in his hand while puppy nuzzled Phoenix’s leg, licking her feet lovingly. “Mr. Tanner, in order to accept my invitation, you will need to drink that vial. Once you’ve done that, we can leave here. Are you sure that you accept?”

The question put a bit of doubt in Shane’s mind. Looking toward Vagabond and Virceena, both had happy expressions on their respective faces. Returning his stare to Phoenix, Shane inhaled deeply. “I don’t know what to expect, but Vagabond and Virceena both seem really happy and… and I’d like to feel that way too. Ever since this started, no, ever since high school I’ve had this feeling deep inside me. No matter what good has happened in my life, I always felt as though the other shoe would drop soon, and that made it difficult to ever enjoy any happiness. Since my change, it’s been even worse. I don’t feel loved, nor do I feel useful. If there’s a chance I can feel happy, I’ll do anything to feel it!”

“I like that response darlin’. Then please drink up while I get my things together.”

Shane downed the liquid, getting a cheer from Vagabond. The cat girl walked elegantly to Shane and gave him a hug. “Welcome sweetie. Hopefully you’ll be around for a long time!”

Phoenix and Vagabond stood, talking to each other while Shane felt a chill run down his spine. Virceena’s eyes were boring a hole into Shane’s as she sat back on her knees, panting slightly. A heat was rising inside Shane’s body and his clothing felt extremely uncomfortable. Trying to keep modest, Shane ignored it and stood up in an effort to get a little breeze. Vagabond skipped over, tapping Shane on the shoulder. “If I were you, I’d take the clothing off. You won’t be needing it and soon, getting them off will be much more difficult.”

It felt as though the heat was increasing with each passing moment. Without warning, Shane screamed out as his hips snapped, forcing him down to his hands and knees. Virceena moved slowly towards Shane, her panting increasing while he pulled his shirt off. Balancing on his belly, Shane hooked his fingers into the waistband of his shorts, yelping as he stabbed himself. With the shorts around his knees, Shane brought his hands in front of his face, gasping at the sight. Not only had his nails grow longer and sharper, but his hands were longer while the fingers were shorter and thicker. Placing his hands down on the ground, Shane watched as fur began sprouting from the pores on the backs of his hands. “What is happening to me?! My hands feel really weird!”

Wincing, Shane felt his legs shrink, while his arms grew longer fur beginning to cover the rest of his body. His hands were even longer now and looked more like feet than hands. Phoenix squatted down, her violet eyes meeting Shane’s. “I said you would be my guest tonight didn’t I? If you haven’t noticed, people under my care aren’t exactly one hundred percent human. I think you’ll enjoy yourself and my beautiful puppy is going to love having a playmate!”

The changes accelerated quickly as Shane’s hands grew to the same size as his feet, the fur thicker on them. Panic began to set in as his nose pushed out into a muzzle and his ears shifted to the top of his head. Though his body shrunk enough to be a large dog, Shane’s belly, hips, and backside remained extremely large. His hands, now exact replications of his feet, shifted, his wrist turning the opposite direction in order to make walking easier. A long, brown tail pushed out, finalizing the changes. Shane struggled momentarily, trying to figure out how to walk but figured it out eventually and stopped at Phoenix’s feet. “You made me a dog? Why did you do that?”

Laughing, Phoenix scratched behind Shane’s ears. “Such a cute little pregnant puppy! What should we call you? How about Shania? Yeah, that sounds great doesn’t it?”

Shane wasn’t really paying attention as the ear scratches felt heavenly. Vagabond brought a collar over and Phoenix clipped it around Shane’s neck. “There you go Shania. It looks great on you.”

Shania’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a second! My name isn’t Shania! It’s Shania! What? No! Shan...ia! I don’t like this Phoenix! Change me back!”

“You do understand that neither Phoenix nor Vagabond can understand you, right?”

Turning slowly, Shania recognized the voice, though the tone was slightly altered. Sure enough, Virceena was looking straight at him. “One of the effects of that particular vial is that it disables our ability to conversate with anyone other than canines. Sometimes, Phoenix will make herself part canine, especially when it’s just her and I together. She’s a bit of a social butterfly.”

“May I ask you something? Why do you sound so much more…”

“Intelligent?”

Phoenix and Vagabond watched the two barking and yipping between each other. “See kitty? I knew Vi would enjoy some company!”

Shania nodded. “When you were working at the reception desk, there was more of an airiness to your voice. Now you sound very matter-of-fact.”

The conversation was cut short as a leash clipped to both Shania and Virceena. “Come along you two! If you are good puppies I’ll take you to the park tomorrow! Would puppies like that?”

Shania found his tail wagging just as Virceena’s was. Shania didn’t know it, but the collar held a power inside it. Whenever anyone other than Virceena was paying attention to him, Shania’s human mind would take a backseat, and the canine inside him would take over. It became apparent that Virceena was under the same control, as she no longer spoke, but instead nuzzled her face against Phoenix’s calf. The four walked out of the office, with Vagabond holding the leash of Virceena and Phoenix holding Shania’s leash.

Arriving at Phoenix’s home, Shania couldn’t believe how big the place was. Upon entering, he found the ceilings were easily thirty feet high while each room’s respective door was wide, and a minimum of twenty feet tall. Taking the leash off Virceena, Vagabond excused herself to the kitchen while Phoenix sat down on the couch in the living room. It was a bit comical however, as Phoenix’s furniture was undoubtedly designed for her normal, eight-foot self. As such, when she sat down, her feet dangled, unable to touch the floor. Shania couldn’t take his eyes off her feet. Back before all the changes began, Shania always had a bit of a foot fetish, which was way he had never really complained about his feet growing. He watched as Virceena trotted over to the kitchen, checking on Vagabond. With Shania sitting alone in the foyer, Phoenix whistled and patted her thighs. “Shania? Come here puppy.”

Immediately, Shania walked over. His body tried to move as fast as possible, but given her quintuplet-sized belly, all he could muster was a brisk walk. Once at her feet, Shania sat back on her backside and looked up, panting softly. “Good girl! Can puppy beg?”

Phoenix reached behind her to a jar of doggie treats which made Shania drool and, as instructed, his front feet came off the ground, resting in front of his DD-cup breasts. “Who’s a good girl. Is Shania a good girl?”

Good girl? But he wasn’t… or was he? Maybe he was a girl? There wasn’t anything male about him. Even before the transformation, Shania’s face held no real masculine qualities. Shania’s puppy mind worked in overdrive. If Mistress wants puppy to be a good girl, puppy should be a good girl! Letting out a small bark, Shania’s panting increased while her tail swayed from side to side. Tossing the treat into the air, Shania backed up on her back feet and opened her mouth. Not yet used to the muzzle, the treat bounced off her nose and fell to the floor. Leaning down, Shania opened her mouth, her long, canine tongue flicking the treat up into her mouth. Phoenix giggled and laid down on the couch on her belly, giving Shania head pets. The treat was tasty, but only made Shania’s stomach growl louder.

Virceena made her way into the living room, barking happily to announce her presence. Phoenix sat up and looked over. “Do the puppies want to play together? I’ll go check on Vagabond. You two play nice!”

The moment Phoenix left the room, Virceena’s tail slowed and she sat a few inches away from Shania. “Here’s the deal Shania. While you are here I want to make something crystal clear. I am the puppy of this house. You will follow my rules while in this house. Am I clear?”

Shania was taken aback by the coldness in Virceena’s voice. “Why are you being so mean to me? I didn’t do anything to you!”

Sitting back on her backside, Virceena’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, but you did. You’ve stepped into my territory. I’ve been Mistress’s puppy for years now and have solidified myself as the house’s one, and only bitch. Any attempts to garner attention away from me and I’ll ensure your time in this house is miserable. Do we have an understanding?”

Granted, what the puppy was saying was absolutely true, but Shania wasn’t a fan of her attitude in the least. “Look, I’m just here as a guest and I don’t want to make anyone angry. If you are mad, I’m sure Phoenix will pick up on it and then I might not get to stay. I can’t afford to go anywhere else!”

Virceena looked Shania up and down, her eyes still narrowed. “Then I’ll make you a deal. Under no circumstances are you to lick Mistress anywhere, other than her feet. In full disclosure, I’ve never been a huge fan of feet. The rest of her body is my territory. If I catch you licking anywhere else, I swear as I’m sitting here, the wrath of Virceena will strike squarely down on your shoulders. Understood?”

“Yes, I understand. You don’t have to talk to me like that though.”

A smile formed across Virceena’s muzzle. “You would prefer me not to talk to you like that? Okay fine. I want you to close your eyes and state the following ten times. The phrase is, ‘puppy loves Mistress’s feet and will love them whenever Mistress’s bare feet are shown.’ Ten times. Go.”

Shania was a bit confused but didn’t want to annoy Virceena. Closing her eyes, Shania began the phrase, restarting after each time she spoke it. With Shania’s eyes closed, Virceena brought her front paws up to Shania’s collar. Using a claw, she chipped off a small opal setting on the collar. Shania didn’t notice and continued stating the phrase. On the tenth go, a wave of dizziness washed over Shania. Upon opening her eyes again, Shania stared blankly at Virceena. Swatting the opal away, she peered into Shania’s eyes and grinned. “That will do puppy. Without that opal, you won’t have the ability to tap into your human mind at all. Now I don’t have to worry about you getting too close to my Mistress.”

Shania tilted her head with a confused look on her face. She could see Virceena’s mouth moving but could only catch a word here and there. Without the ability to access her human mind, Shania was reduced to the vocabulary of a somewhat trained dog. In addition, she couldn’t read time nor had no real concept of time either. Vagabond came into the living room with a smile on her face. “Puppies! Dinner!”

Virceena barked and ran to the dining room while Shania barked and lumbered toward the room. By the time Shania got to the room, Virceena was already face-first into her bowl. Next to her bowl was a much, much larger bowl. Sniffing the air, Shania followed the scent and began drooling when she looked into the bowl. It wasn’t dog food at all! The bowl was filled with steak, potatoes, bacon, and several other delicious smelling foods. Shania tore into it, eating greedily while Phoenix and Vagabond sat at the table, talking amongst themselves.

With her bowl licked clean, Shania felt much better and looked toward the table. The tablecloth blocked Phoenix’s thighs and half her calves, however Shania could clearly see her massive size twenty-seven feet dangling in the air. Moving slowly, Shania slipped under the table and began licking Phoenix’s toes feverishly, eliciting a giggle above the table. “My goodness! Puppy surprised me. I don’t mind though, keep going.”

Shania didn’t understand anything that was spoken, but when Phoenix moved her feet closer to Shania’s maw, she knew she should continue. Virceena looked on, wagging her tail happily. No longer would she be the one to lick her mistress’s feet and for that, she was truly grateful.

Time passed, though Shania was none the wiser. The routine was easy enough to remember. Wake up, go outside, eat breakfast, worship Phoenix’s feet, go to work with everyone else and lay under Phoenix’s desk. At some point, Phoenix had returned back to her normal eight-foot self but her feet had remained the same size. After lunch, Vagabond would take her to the park so she could exercise then she’d return to Phoenix’s feet, licking them anytime her shoes came off. Everyone would go home and eat dinner, then cuddle together. This was the routine and it rarely ever changed.

One day however, Shania woke up and ate breakfast. When she lapped up the water, it tasted a bit different. As she drank, the fur on her body drew back, while her legs lengthened. Virceena smiled, knowing that there would only be one puppy in the house going forward. Shania’s hands returned, no longer feet-shaped while her muzzle sunk back, forming a human face. Bending down, Phoenix removed the canine collar. Once she did, Shania’s human mind raced to the forefront while the canine part nearly vanished completely. “So, Shania, did you enjoy yourself?”

“Oh yes I did! It was wonderful spending a day with you and the rest of your family.”

Phoenix’s eyebrows raised as she tilted her head in wonderment. “A day? Darlin’, it’s been much longer than a day. You’ve been a puppy for over a month now.”

Shania’s eyes widened as large as saucers. “A month? But it didn’t seem like that long!”

“I was a bit confused as well. Each night before bed I’d have Virceena ask you if you wanted to change back. She’d bark to you and you’d always respond by nuzzling and licking my feet so I figured you didn’t want to change back.”

Shania’s eyes darted to Virceena, then back to Phoenix. “I don’t understand. I never heard anything from Virceena, other than when I first changed.”

Inspecting the collar, Phoenix sighed. “Oh dear, it looks like the opal came off. No wonder you didn’t respond. Without that, you wouldn’t have any ability to comprehend what was being asked. My apologies darlin’, I honestly never noticed the opal was missing.”

“It’s okay Phoenix but I have to ask you something. If you’ve never been able to get a confirmation from me, what did you change me back today?”

Phoenix took Shania’s hand and walked with her to the bathroom. “The simple answer is that you couldn’t stay a dog any longer. You are far too large at this point. See?”

Turning into the bathroom, Shania gasped as she stared at her reflection. Her hips had to be four feet wide and her belly was positively enormous. When she turned into a canine, Shania’s belly looked to be housing sextuplets now and to call the sides a muffin top would be an insult to muffins. “H-how heavy am I now?”

Phoenix inhaled deeply and held it in. As she did, her muscles twitched, gaining in mass until she looked like a female bodybuilder. Grasping Shania’s backside, Phoenix lifted her up. “I’d say a solid three hundred thirty pounds. How about we go to work now? I want to show you where your new job will be.”

Shania’s eyes lit up. “You mean I’ve got a job?! Thank you so much! What will you have me do?”

“Let’s go and I’ll show you.”

It was only Phoenix and Shania in the car today as Virceena and Vagabond had already left. Rather than going to the doctor’s office though, Phoenix stopped at a shop a quarter mile from the office. Vagabond looked out through the window, waving at the two as they walked in. “What’s this place Phoenix?”

“Over the course of my life, I’ve explored several different business ventures. Thankfully, most of them have turned out positively. The clinic is one way I get my products out there, but this shop is another. In here I have all kinds of magical items and potions. Most of the items in the store are more harmless pranks. You know, like turning someone’s hair pink or making someone cluck like a chicken for an hour. There are some other parts to this business however that take place in the very back, behind that curtain. That is where I’d like to offer you a job at.”

They walked behind the curtain and Shania stopped dead in her tracks. The entire area was filled with various sex objects and contraptions! Trying her best to hide her arousal, Shania stammered out, “what would my job be? Just to run this part of the business?”

“Partially. Often times, people will come in and have question about how to use an item. If I’m not mistaken, your libido is still very much active, correct?”

Blushing profusely, Shania nodded. “It’s even worse than I’ve ever remembered. I guess not knowing I was horny all that time being a dog kind of built up.”

“Then this job will be perfect for you. You will be in charge of showing the equipment to potential buyers. I expect that you’ll be courteous and helpful while you demonstrate the items. Customers that come in will be told explicitly that they are not to attempt to make an advance on you. Conversely, you are not permitted to do any favors for customers, if you catch my drift. Anyone in violation of those rules will be dealt with immediately. What do you say Shania? Would you like the job?”

“Sure! What does it pay?”

“Glad you asked! It pays nothing. However, my company offers the best in employee benefits. While working for me you will be provided with suitable attire, meals, and a place to live. You’ll never have to worry about outgrowing something ever again. Also, you’ll never go hungry, as food will be provided and be an amount suitable for a growing woman like yourself.”

“What else would I need anyway, other than those things? I’ll take the job!”

“Wonderful! Vagabond, would you run over and check on the clinic?”

She smiled and curtsied, before running out the front door. “Wait, the clinic is open? How is that possible when you are here?”

Phoenix led Shania to the employee area, handing her a latex catsuit. “Try this on. It should fit you perfectly. As for the clinic, Virceena will occasionally take over for me while I’m unavailable. Did you know that she used to be a doctor? Not just any doctor, but a very well respected one!”

Shania shimmied into the catsuit, cooing softly as she felt the zippered crotch touch her skin. “Really? She gave all that up just to become a puppy girl?”

“Not exactly. It’s a long and sad story that I’ll save for a rainy day. Just know that she’s come leaps and bounds further than she was when I first met her. You look great! All that’s missing is a few pieces of jewelry. Hang tight.”

Disappearing for a moment, Phoenix returned with a wooden box. Opening it, she pulled out a spiked set of ankle and wrist cuffs, along with a matching collar. “While you are working, the wrist and ankle cuffs are to remain on. When work is over, they will be removed by either Vagabond or myself. Under no circumstance will the collar be taken off unless I choose to. Trust me, you’ll want to keep them on to protect yourself.”

Phoenix snapped each cuff in place and stood in front of Shania, her vividly vibrant violet eyes gazing into Shania’s. “I think you’ll enjoy this collar. It should help you garner more sales.”

“Sounds great! I’m all yours Phoenix!”

The collar clipped together and a small lock was placed over it. With a smile, Phoenix stood to her full height and walked toward the storefront. Stopping in the doorway she looked over her shoulder. “You sure are darlin’.”