SaH Shattered god, chapter 45 (proper)
Added 2021-06-04 23:30:50 +0000 UTCMore edited version of the chapter. Sorry for the confusion!
Comments
Veledar merely coughed, “And princess, I didn’t think this needed to be said, but it’s most unwise to hurl bases insults at a dragon to boil his blood. Especially when he is so large and you so small…and fragile.” [I think you meant baseless there.] To the now shivering gryphon, Storm’s attention did turn, accompanied with a most threatening growl. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” Nervously laughed the gryphon. [Might want to have a snarl or put the growl in front of the shivering gryphon. Because when i read that i was like, wait why is the gryphon shivering before the dragon growls, if you had a snarl of intense annoyance, the gryphon shivers, and then he growls at him it would make more sense. ]
Cryodrake
2021-06-11 20:06:25 +0000 UTC
