Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 40: Communication Issues

I never expected to survive the [Trial Dungeon], but I was still surprised when I realized we were all about to die. To be fair, Richard had warned us about Rhi Voss. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't really blame him this time.

"Uh, guys, what are we going to do?" I asked, proud that my voice wasn't shaking.

Leo, Tandy, and Meredeath stood with weapons drawn before two dozen animated skeletons. I focused on the one in front, trying to trigger [Analyze] until I realized it was one of the many skills that I'd lost.

"We're going to go with them," Meredeath said calmly. Richard trembled on Meredeath’s shoulders, his tentacles pulled tight. "This is our escort."

The lead skeleton stood regally. He looked at me, green orbs glowing in empty eye sockets. His armor was rusty and old, like that of his companions, but it was more ornate in design. Etchings of falcons were outlined in moss and grit. He’d been the one in charge in life, and that seemingly extended through undeath.

"Is this your entire [Party]?" The skeleton lord stepped forward. The voice was hers, Rhi’s, but the body was still his. It made every word feel dissonant in my ears.

"It is," Meredeath responded coolly, as though talking to a yellow boned undead puppet was a typical Tuesday. Maybe it was.

"Very well. Know that my swamp will take care of anyone you've omitted." The bone lady’s tone made it clear exactly how any stragglers would be dealt with. “Follow Ter Lance and his escort.”

The light in presumably Ter Lance’s head flickered from a flame to a spark. The skeleton lord mechanically turned towards the swamp, not bothering to monitor our compliance.

Our escort encircled us, weapons on display. Some held spears, while others wielded rusted swords with round shields made of rotten wood. A few held ancient bows with unfletched arrows notched on them. I wasn’t sure what damage they could do, but at this range, it wouldn’t take much.

The undead moved in a precise cadence that was hard to mimic in humanity. Each step was taken in unison as they turned to face the swamp.

We hurried, shoving camp supplies into our packs. I quickly rolled my mom’s old quilt, stuffing it into the top of my bag.

The soldiers stood eerily silent, faces pointed towards the swampy horizon. I held my hammer, contemplating how many I could take out before they killed me. The answer was simply not enough. The skeletal warriors didn’t seem to care if we had or held our weapons. They were rightly confident in their ability to handle any threat we posed.

The waters of the swamp rippled. A line of disturbance seemed to be racing towards our position. I braced, ready to fight whatever new foe this was.

“Is it a snake?” Tandy asked. She hated snakes.

“Too fast,” Meredeath whispered.

“How fast does a skeletal snake move?” I asked, watching the approaching gush of water. At this point, I wasn’t willing to negate any possibility.

The skeletons stood ramrod straight as we were showered in muddy water. A ball of green energy crackled in the air. Whisps of energy reached out and danced along the flaking edges of the escort’s armor. The skeleton lord stepped forward as though he’d been given an unheard command.

“That’s incredible,” Tandy whispered, eyes fixed on the ball of energy. “It’s going to part the waters for us.”

I’m not sure how in the corrupt hells she knew what the spell was going to do, but sure enough, as the skeleton lord stepped forward, the swamp peeled away from his feet. The escort stepped forward, making their intention clear. We were to follow him to their mistress.

This time, I didn't bother blocking out Richard's voice.

We are so fucked.

For once, he spoke nothing but the truth.

We got a unique view of the swamp. Water and mud parted in a ten-foot-wide corridor. Meredeath was in awe, as though this were a miracle of miracles. I guess water magic like this wasn't much of a thing in her world.

Richard sat coiled tightly around her neck. His skin glistened with anxiety slime. I didn't miss that.

I stepped into the corridor first, and the swamp waters stood three feet high, held back by an invisible wall. I imagined the water straining at the barrier so it could break through and devour us. The bone lady’s magic was strong. Even the tree roots had parted with the waters. My boots hit solidly, the ground was a solid-packed earth with rectangular brown bricks peeking through. It was as though I stood on an ancient road.

I looked past the ornate lord, noting the path led straight towards the heart of the valley and the ancient ruins I’d spotted from my tree perch. Maybe it was a road.

The skeletons moved forward in unison, their bone heels clicking on the road. Tandy, Meredeath, and Leo didn't have much choice but to follow. Being left behind wasn't an option with the sharp spears of our rear guard pointed towards us. The skeletons weren't protecting us from the swamp. They were here to ensure we followed directions.

I was just glad I didn't have to slog through miles of mud. For the first time in days, I started to dry out. It should have felt good, but my gills itched.

As we moved down the corridor, the magic holding back the swamp folded in on itself, sealing our fate. Water rushed in, closing any hope of a quick escape. The barrier protecting us sat only six feet away from the rear guard.

The skeleton escort walked without fear through the deadly swamp. Trees that would have ripped the skin off our faces leaned back away from the corridor. They lashed their branches in displeasure, but none dared cross into our corridor.

A brisk pace was set. The undead minions had no time for our awe. They didn’t pity us as we tried to keep the flies and mosquitoes from eating us for breakfast. They didn’t care that I was starting to have trouble catching my breath.

"How far is it?" Leo's voice broke the silent march.

The skeleton lord turned its head 180 degrees to face Leo as he marched forward. His mouth clacked, but without the green magic of the bone lady, no distinguishable words came. The unnaturalness of it all didn't encourage follow-up questions.

I dropped back in the pack, letting Meredeath take the lead. This was her quest, and I wasn't suited for the vanguard role. Richard clung, a glistening mess of slime, to her shoulders. He kept his tentacles forward, actively avoiding looking at me. I didn't blame him, I didn't want to talk to him either.

The miles passed quietly. Our guards kept an untiring pace. I’d begun to really struggle. My stamina and health bars had started a slow but steady decline. Each breath was a sharp attempt to grab as much air as I could. Every time I slowed a little too much, trying to catch my breath, the butt of a spear poked me in the kidney.

"Cole, you okay?" Tandy's voice quietly cut through my suffering.

"Yeah," gasp, "I just," gasp, "can't catch..." For the love of the Everbear, I couldn't even form a complete sentence.

Tandy stopped walking, dropping behind me as she stared down the rearguard. Grateful, I stopped, bending over with my hands on my knees. I just needed a couple of good breaths.

"Stand up, Cole. Hands on your head. It'll help open up your breathing," Meredeath said, pulling me up. I glared at her as I complied, resting my hands on my head like an idiot. I just wanted to be left alone. Couldn’t we just be there already?

Our guards were not amused. They’d come to a stop and faced us with raised weapons.

"Hey, I can keep going," I lied. I mean, I could keep going, but it was becoming plain that I wasn't going to keep going all the way to Rhi Voss.

My companions formed a ring around me, facing out with their weapons handy.

The skeleton lord stood impassive for a moment. The dim spark of magic in the back of his skull flared as his mouth started moving.

"I am surprised you're choosing to sacrifice yourselves to the swamp. Although the energy donation will not go unused." The skeleton’s jaw clacked like a puppet with Rhi’s voice floating through its mouth.

"We are not sacrificing ourselves, we are resting. Humans need to rest," Meredeath said, pointing at me.

The lord stepped forward, the edge of his sword threatening violence. The spark in his skull grew larger, backlighting his eyes.

"Weakness should be plucked like a weed. I could do you a favor," the woman purred. I couldn't keep my eyes off the pitted longsword pointed at my face. The edge looked sharp enough to do the job.

Meredeath's fingernails elongated into claws as she crouched, ready to defend me. As dangerous as she looked, claws weren’t going to be much use against that sword.

ENOUGH! Richard's voice thundered in all of our heads. One of the more deteriorated skeletons’ heads popped off with the pressure of Richard's mental shout. The pile of bones crumbled to the ground with the soldier's corroded sabre hitting tip down like a martial grave marker.

Are you blind, old woman? Do you see his ring? Richard's mental voice hissed, like water on a hot pan.

The skeleton didn't have eyes, but its head tilted towards me. Expressionless and still, it was hard to gauge a reaction.

"Graverobber?! You bring me a graverobber?!" she roared. The undead stepped forward, ready to finish us.

Technically, she wasn’t wrong. My panicked mind remembered the blue-haired mummy, hand extended. But she wasn’t right either.

He has her blessing, you bag of dust! Have your eyes rotted completely out of your head?

The advance of the skeletal guards stopped. She eyed me through her bony puppet.

"I must verify this trickery personally. Carry him if you must." The skeleton lord twisted abruptly, and they set off at the same untiring pace. I was quickly gasping again, this time a stitch formed in my abdomen.

Step after step. I focused on Richard’s slimy form. The jerk had saved us, yet again. Maybe I should just go back to being his pet.

My vision blurred as my health and stamina started to sink. My lungs burned, and the gills on the side of my neck flexed ineffectually.

I stepped on Leo's heel and tripped.

"I'm sorry," I blurted, as I failed to catch myself, my knee slamming into the ground, followed by the slap of my hands trying to catch the rest of me. Leo caught himself before he fell.

I braced for the expected jab from the rear guard. My knee throbbed, and my hands stung. I wasn't sure I could stand, much less get back to marching.

Nothing happened. The entire retinue had stopped, and the guards behind us stood, their eyes fixed on the ground. Tandy knelt, helping me up. Her eyes were glued to the guards, waiting for a reaction.

I stood slowly, wincing as my muscles protested. Our escort waited silently.

I limped forward, my knee was already starting to swell. Nothing happened, no threats, no spear butts.

This is why we never worked out! The silent treatment isn’t healthy communication.