Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 32: Relative Chaos

I hadn’t been home in months.

I had my reasons.

My family homestead had been one of the first successful farms in the early settlement days of Woodsten. My surname, Thornfield, had been earned. My parents had scratched out an existence from the dust and weeds. They'd lived in a sod house with my eldest sister, Floria, for the first couple of years.

Being the third eldest, I'd come along a few years later. By then, we had an oversized shed built from seasoned logs harvested during the first couple of years, when the land was being cleared. I didn't remember it, and unlike Floria, I didn't try to claim I did.

She'd been a baby. No one’s memory was that long.

I had six siblings and was an uncle twice over. I knew a bit about babies.

There wasn't a chance in hell she remembered the old sod house or the hardship. That trophy firmly belonged to our parents.

We walked up the dusty two-track. The fence posts sat perfectly vertical, separating the pasture from the road. Wild carrot gave their lacy flowers right next to the tall stalks of yellow flowers from the woolly ear plants. Bees buzzed happily.

I closed my eyes and smelled the warm dust and the stillness of the country. I could almost forget why I never came back.

"It's just one night, it'll be okay," Tandy repeated the words I'd been telling myself the whole way here.

I nodded, forcing a smile even as my face tightened. Tandy and Leo had always been my family.

"Don't forget to breathe," she whispered, giving a last bit of advice before we walked up the driveway to the house.

Unclenching my jaw, I took one steady breath.

"Is that COLE?!" Hitch, my youngest brother yelled. He was all of eight, and by far the loudest of my family, which is saying something. Hitch ran across the field with a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth. "It's Cole! Mama, Pop, Flo! Cole's here for Sunday Dinner, and he's got friends!"

Meredeath glanced at me, whispering, "Is it that surprising you have friends?"

I shrugged. I hadn't ever brought anyone but Tandy and Leo home. And even then, it’d been a few years.

The old barn stood, red paint faded. It may have developed a small lean, but it still looked solid. Sheep were lined up for their dinner, which was what Hitch had been doing until we walked up. Floria was going to be mad.

The front door squeaked open. Floria stood squinting into the sun. She was bigger than I remembered. A gust of air pushed at her sundress, and I realized she wasn't bigger, she was pregnant. I felt guilty because I had no idea she was expecting another. I guess it had been a while.

"Hey, Floria. Hope you don't mind a couple of extra mouths to feed tonight,” I said, staring four inches to her left. It was always better not to look my sister in the eyes.

"Oh, for the love of wheat, you know you're the only one that uses my full name, Cole Moldboard Thornfield." She sounded worn out.

"I'll stop using your full name when you stop using mine," I said, already tired of her.

I hadn't even used her full name, Floria Beam Hastings. I knew she preferred Flo, but I had to needle her when I had the chance. I was her brother after all. Plus, I was the only Thornfield not living on the farm, so I was the only one relatively safe from her retribution.

"Moldboard?" I heard Meredeath's hushed question to Tandy. Ears burning, I let out a resigned sigh. This is precisely what I had feared.

"I'll tell you later," Tandy whispered to Meredeath, grinning.

It wasn't my fault that Dad was such a nerd. Who names their kids after parts of a plow? Who chooses the moldboard as one of those parts?

I took one last breath, then walked through the front door.

The house was simple, consisting of a large room that served as a kitchen, dining area, and entertainment space. There were two bedrooms, one for Mom and Dad and the other for Floria and her husband, Jareth. Then the loft with all the kids. I’d moved into the barn for a while, until I’d saved up enough to get my own place.

"It's unnnnnnnncle Cooolllleeee!" sang Saphira, her voice horribly off-key. She bounced around me, her dark hair bobbing up and down.

"You're still singing, I see." I smiled, picking up my favorite niece. She wore a pale green kitchen apron that stood out against her dark skin. The apron told me she’d been on kitchen duty before my interruption. I twirled her around as she squealed in delight. Floria frowned at us both, which made it even more fun.

I tried to set Saphira down, but her little brown arms clutched me in a hug.

She got right up to my ear and whispered in a serious voice, "Am I still your favorite niece?"

I squeezed her little body, she smelled of butterbalm and blueberries, "Of course, but let’s keep that between us." Then I tickled her. She wailed with laughter and wriggled until I had to put her down before I dropped her.

"Is that a slug on your shoulder?" Share was next. She’d been my closest sibling when we’d been growing up. She was supposed to join me in the city when she came of age, but that dream never manifested.

"It is," I smiled as she made the same face she would when we were little and I’d bring her a frog or a beetle.

"Leave it to my big brother to visit for the first time in months with a slug." She wrapped her arms around me, giving a tight hug. "It has been too long, Cole."

I squeezed back.

I like her. She smells like strawberries.

"So, Share, this is Richard. Richard, Share." I lifted Richard from my shoulders and held him out like one of my childhood prizes. She reached out, and a glint caught my eye, "Is that a RING?!"

Share turned tomato red. I dumped Richard on the table and grabbed her hand. A thin promise ring sat on it, two hands clasping.

"It is," she said shyly.

"Well, congratulations! Who's the lucky person?" Internally, I crossed my fingers. She and Fennel down the street had always seemed like they could be a pair. They'd just both been so damn shy that no amount of matchmaking shenanigans had worked.

"Fennel and I have been dating," she said it with the sweet voice reserved for those in love.

"That's fantastic!" I lifted her and whirled her around like she was Saphira.

The greetings continued. Tandy and Leo took Meredeath to a quieter corner, as she looked overwhelmed. My family was a lot.

I was dog-piled by everyone else. Floria, Flo, stood frowning at the stove. I'd never found it hard to meld with everyone, except for her.

Lira, Hitch, and Landslide were out doing the evening chores with my dad. And Mom was collecting eggs with Flo's husband, Jareth.

Coulter was talking to Leo about his axe, and before I knew it, Galen, the 3-year-old, was plopped in my care as Share and I sat down to talk.

Saphira skipped around us. To Flo’s irritation, no amount of cajoling could return Saphira to peeling carrots.

Richard sat in the middle of the table. As a bonus, I’m sure it irritated Flo. He was happy, though, as Share fed him potato peels. Galen sat on the bench next to me, as a kid who loved to collect shiny things, Richard was mesmerizing. His slime shimmered in the firelight, but he was also a 'worm.' And three-year-olds loved worms.

"So, you're back? Or passing through?" Share asked as her hands worked on the potato in front of her.

"Just passing through," I glanced at my friends, my eyes resting on Meredeath as she took in the chaos.

Share followed my gaze and smiled.

"So you knew about Fennel? You didn't act surprised." Her hands deftly finished scraping a potato, then used the tip of her knife to dig out the eyes.

"I didn't know, I'd just hoped," I said, and meant it. Fennel was shy, but dependable. He was a farrier, more skilled with horses than with people. A perfect match.

Saphira picked up on this and started singing, "Fenneeel and Shhharrreee siiittting on a feeennceee." She kept the song going until I shooed her back to work.

"And you, brother mine? You've got a new addition to your group." Share asked the question with such a mischievous grin that I knew she'd been aiming at that information all along.

"I'll introduce Meredeath when Mom gets here." Mom was going to make a fuss. She always did.

"Yes," Share leaned in, "but are you a thing? I can tell you like her," she whispered conspiratorially.

Did I like Meredeath that way? Yes, but… was it more than infatuation? Meredeath was different, and impressive, and hot, and... I stopped myself.

"We're not a thing, it's complicated. We are very different. It’s almost like we’re from different worlds." I never could lie to Share. My sister could always see right through me.

"I see, well, things do have a way of working out." Share fingered her ring meaningfully.

I smiled, shaking my head. Share was getting married! I watched as Galen got brave and poked Richard. He giggled in delight as Richard gooed his hand.

"Flo's pregnant again, and you're getting married! What other news have I missed?"

Share handed me a potato and a spare knife, saying, "I'll catch you up, but you're going to have to work for it."

We sat, peeling and chopping as I got the latest gossip. Mom's health was still rough, and Plow had finally admitted to Share that she liked girls. Finally.

Hitch was as spoiled as ever. Share was trying to get Saphira voice lessons because the girl wouldn't stop singing. Everything was as it should be.

The egg collection crew and the chore crew came inside at the same time. Which started a whole other round of, "It's Cole!"

I glanced at Meredeath and couldn't decipher her expression. She just sat in the corner, watching us all.

That was until Plow noticed her, "Who are you?" It amused me to no end that my little sister and I had the same taste in women.

The crowd grew silent, all eyes on Meredeath.

"This is Meredeath, everyone! She's from a city out west called Kansas. She's new in town-"

My dad interjected, "Kansas? I've never heard of Kan-sas. Let me get the map!"

Oh shit, what do we do?

I looked at Tandy for help, and she spoke up, "Yeah, Meredeath's an [Adventurer]."

Coulter gasped. He'd always had a not-so-secret desire to be an [Adventurer]. My dad was like a dog with a bone; he'd already disappeared into his bedroom to get his prized possession, an old leather map.

My mom was the warmest person, but she hated the thought of anyone being an [Adventurer], "That's an odd profession for..." her voice trailed off as she tried to think of a polite way to describe Meredeath's wardrobe, "…someone who's from Kansas."

Meredeath did something I didn’t expect from her. She belly laughed. It was loud and outrageous and she slapped the table with tears of laughter running down her face. My mom was taken aback, becoming insulted as she thought she was the butt of a joke.

"Oh, Mrs Thornfield, I can't tell you how accurate you are! An [Adventurer] from Kansas is the least likely thing in the universe."

Mollified, my mom smiled, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. The conversation moved on.

"We've missed you, Cole," Mom said, releasing me from the hug. "Also, Meredeath's a strange one. Not like you to bring new folks around."

I looked at her, new wrinkles around her face, her hair a solid iron grey neatly braided but without the healthy sheen it’d always had. I hugged her again.

"I know. It's been too long. I've got more things to say, but later." I had Galen clinging to a leg, and Saphira had started singing again.

Dad appeared with his map. "First, can you help me with Dad? Meredeath's an orphan," it wasn't really a lie, and I knew my mom would respond, "and she doesn't like talking about her home."

This had the exact effect I'd hoped. My mom's face melted in sympathy, and she grabbed my dad's hand before he rolled out the map.

"Honey, let's do that later. Dinner's ready, and we don't want to get it dirty."

My dad grumbled and took his prize back into their bedroom.

"Cole's a what?!" Plow shouted. The family near my friends stared at me as though I'd grown a third eye. Leo looked guilty as Tandy punched him in the arm.

Whispers circulated as I tried to think of what to say.

My mom and dad came back from their room, finding their family silently staring at me. Flo was by their side in an instant, catching my mom up.

“Cole, is it true?” My Mom’s wavering voice cut to the bone. Expectations in our family were always clear, and being an [Adventurer] wasn’t part of it. Hell, being “Cole” wasn’t acceptable either.

"Guess my secret is out. Yep, it's true. I'm an [Adventurer]. So are Tandy, Leo, and our party member Meredeath." The words stuck like glue in my mouth as my mom's expression noticeably darkened.

She was disappointed.

I never got used to disappointing my mom. Or my dad. The hurt burned in my chest.

You forgot someone.

"Oh, and one more." I pointed to Richard sitting, belly sticking out, full of potato peels. His exaggerated pose saved me. Smiling at my slug in the middle of the dining table, I continued, "And that's Richard, he's my Companion."

"That's not a Dire Wolf!" Hitch blurted.

What is it with you and Dire Wolves?

An awkward silence settled on everyone as they looked at Richard.

"No," I said to Hitch, "but he's got decorative fangs, so he's close."

Appropriately, they all stared at me like I was insane while Richard chuckled in my head.