Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - [Bonus Chapter]: The Slug also Rises Part 2

"Happy berth-day, Leo! Whar's Tandy?" Cole's voice rattled around Leo's head like a fly in a compost bin.

Where was Tandy? This was his twenty-fifth birthday, and even with her schedule and business, she should be here.

"Oh, thar she is!" Cole said as he fell off the bed. Tandy waved noncommittally from the corner of the room.

Tandy waved at them from the floor. She sat, head between her knees, as though she were sick.

"I know what would cure this!" Leo looked down at his curled-up friend. She'd been struggling, absent from the group, working a lot. It was nice that she was here, but...

Leo stumbled over to Tandy, handing her one of his uncle Artie's jugs of grog. Alcohol sloshed alarmingly in the brown gallon glass jug as he held it out. Part of his mind knew it was a bad idea, drinking more. But also, how drunk could they be? Artie's booze was always a bit watered down, which is why he'd grabbed two gallons.

The old man owed it to Leo. He'd done nothing but work for him. Artie had him doing every odd job in the village to earn a little coin to make up for the fact that he'd been saddled with Marv's kid. A brat with no class. No skills.

"I don't know what your uncle put in this," Cole waved his own jug around precariously. "But I'm feeling good." For once. Cole gave Leo a sloppy smile.

Which made the tear-streaked face of Tandy that much more out of place.

"What's going on? Do you need some water? I've got some bread around here." Leo wasn't lying. There was bread somewhere. He shuffled to the dresser and saw the chunk of sourdough resting alongside his dad's knife and a few loose coins. Picking it up, he frowned, tapping the hardened bread against the dresser. "I forgot, I ate the bread yesterday. We could go out?"

The world spun in a haze. What was he doing?

Oh, right.

Leo's knees cracked as he knelt down. "What's wrong, Tandy?"

Cole had sat on the bed, seemingly focused on Tandy's response. Although the man was swatting at an invisible fly, so it was hard to tell.

She took the proffered jug and took a swig.

"That is gross. How are you two drinking it? I think my tongue is going numb."

Was his tongue numb? Leo looked at Cole, who shrugged and, with raised eyebrows, took another swig.

It didn't taste good, he'd give her that. The point of drinking out of a jug was not to taste the liquid.

Leo looked at Tandy and realized she'd been talking the whole time.

"... and that's why. I just can't do it anymore," Tandy finished, teary eyes looking up at him. Leo's heart melted, there was nothing he wouldn't do for Tandy. It wasn't a girlfriend thing; he'd gotten over his youthful crush. She was his little sister. Well, technically, she was older, but she was shorter.

"Well, what are we going to do then?" Leo said with the conviction of a man half a jug into his birthday. Tandy looked at him as if he were crazy or dumb; he was used to both. At the end of the day, the decision was really very simple. He'd move mountains for Tandy, or Cole for that matter. They were his family.

"Really? You'll sign up with me?" Tandy said the words hopefully, as though she didn't deserve such a decision.

"Of corsf," Cole said, beating Leo to the words. The man was really drunk.

"Of course, we’ll sign up with you. It's always been the three of us. This is no different." Leo still wasn't sure what he was agreeing to, but it had to be better than chopping wood every day or running errands for his uncle Artie.

"We can sign the contract tomorrow," Tandy said, her voice riddled with doubt.

"Right now! There's no time like the... uh... There's no time like now!" Leo pulled Tandy off her feet. She stood looking at him, squinting. Cole was still sitting on the bed, nodding.

"If you say so, I guess." Her voice was already lifting with hope. Leo's heart melted. "Let's go down to the recruiter's office and sign the paperwork. Are you ready to be an [Adventurer]?"

Leo's heart dropped as he looked at Tandy's blossoming smile. Fuck, what had he signed them up for? They weren't going to survive being adventurers. A cook? A lumberjack? A weaver? Tandy was typically the sensible one.

"Let's go!" Cole stood, tottering forward. "I want to go on an adventure!"

Leo looked at his friends. Tandy's tears were drying as she helped Cole stay on his feet. A smile played at the corners of her mouth, as though she'd gotten an unexpected gift. Cole wore the goofy grin of a drunk, a marked improvement over the downcast kitchen drudge persona he had after his smith apprenticeship fell through.

"I'll lead the way," Leo surprised himself by saying. Even more surprising, he, too, was smiling.

What had Artie put in these jugs?