Dirty Work

My breath hitched, my vision blurred. Yet I still spoke. Of all the people in my life here in this new world, there was only one person I could always rely on. Who never turned me away, even when my jokes didn’t land, even when I was working with faulty information, even when I was being me.

Memories flowed through. Of watching myself die, of watching him die, of watching everyone die.

Death. Death. Death. 

I silently clutched his form

“It hurt. It hurt so, so much.” Tears flowed from my eyes as I tried to close them. “I was scared, and I could barely do anything despite how hard I tried.” I choked on my sobs and words all at once, my heart ramming in my chest over and over again as though trying to break free. 

“It hurt so much I thought I was going to die- I tried so hard, I was so desperate, and nothing changed!” Then the truth began to break free. “I’ve never tried so hard for anything in my life, failing over and over again, I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear it at all! I just want to help this place- I love this place.” I started laughing slightly with tears,”I was just scared. Scared of it all. I don’t want to be looked at like that with those eyes, the hatred hurts, it hurts so much! I hated myself for feeling that way! For not being able to do anything!” I continued to cry and my consciousness slowly faded, yet much of the pain I felt washed away with the words as I embraced my companion.

My companion, who I’ve not treated the greatest. I shook with guilt, as I let out a weak breath. Despite these feelings, his heart beat softly against me, and I felt warmth against his body. Almost peaceful.

I heard someone’s footsteps approaching as the darkness took me. 

Words hung in the air from his lips as I finally faded to black.

“Take a rest Subaru. You deserve it.”

James Bell POV

Rank 8: Veritate - Increases Resistance against Soul Attacks

I gently pushed her hair out of her face as she rested. Footsteps alerted me to the presence of Rem who stared at the sleeping girl in my arms. There was an empty stare behind her visible eye, and I couldn’t help but let out a small sigh. 

“She’s been through a lot.” 

The bluenette didn’t speak and I slowly moved my eyes down to Subaru before speaking something that was arguably not my brightest idea, but it was something I said in the spur of the moment.

“I’m pretty sure she’s cursed . . . you can sense it, right?”

That got Rem’s attention quite quickly, her eyes narrowing and her expression stern. She knew exactly what I was referring too.

“So you are aware then.”

I let out a small sigh as I turned up to her, a small weakness lurked in my gaze. A weakness representing my acceptance of Subaru’s burden.

“I am, but she’s a good person. She . . . she wouldn’t further her goals.” I hoped I spoke true, yet I did believe Subaru was a good person despite her many, many, flaws. 

“You’ve blinded yourself.” She paused, and her wrist flinced. “Nothing good will come of this.” Her eyes stared down at the sleeping form of Subaru and her expression twisted in melancholy as she fought an inner battle. She let out a small sigh and walked away.

“Thank you Rem.”

For not crushing the skull of the sleeping Subaru in my arms. I can see the hatred in your eyes. I don’t know much of Rem’s past, but I do know one thing. She despises the witch, and she was completely valid for doing so.

I gently picked her up and took her to her room, and prepared to tuck her in with a small smile upon my face. She sort of reminded me of a younger sibling in a way. It's like I knew her a lot longer than I did, and not just because of her time powers.

There was a time where I was an arrogant little shit. So caught up in my own pride I didn’t even realize how much of a jerk I was. Subaru helped me break that mold. I realized what I’d become after seeing his-her failures.

That was still an odd difference to make, but it was an important one nonetheless. If I randomly called her a dude she might look at me weirdly. Or maybe she wouldn’t. It honestly bothers me how little I know about her. With the loops she knows a lot about me, but I basically don’t know a thing about her. 

From her perspective it's been quite a while, the amount of time ephemeral in my mind, and from my perspective barely three days.

I think I hate time loops now. For multiple reasons . . .

As I carried her I could tell she woke up by the way her breathing shifted, but I decided not to comment. She was blushing furiously in embarrassment while pretending to be asleep. The question is, should I do something funny?

“She really is cute like this.” It was true, and while I could tell she was trying to suppress it, she was smiling at the compliment. Inevitably I was forced to retire to my room, but on the way back I noticed I had a blue haired stalker. She stood silently against the wall near a corner, a light frown on her lips, and one of her visible eyes narrowed.

“Why are you so nice to her?” Her tone was curt, and for a moment I could have sworn I heard the rattling of a chain. Yet while I was certain she had plans to use a weapon if need be, I wanted to shut that down as fast as I could.

“She didn’t ask for this. To be cursed in such a horrific way.” 

She grinded her teeth as she stared at me, and she spoke words that made my heart twist.

“How do you know that?” 

The hell am I supposed to say? I saw it in a tv show? I wouldn’t even know how to go about explaining that. Though I guess I could say something vague?

“I have an ability. It . . . gives me a little bit more insight into certain people, I gain a small glimpse at their intentions.” Not technically a lie, though definitely redirecting the truth. My system tells me about the strength of the bond I have with someone, though I guess I could call it a divine protection if I wanted to be a straight up liar. Or at least I was pretty sure this wasn’t a divine protection. 

“Would I be one of those people?” 

I gave a small sigh as I stared at her, my hands silently sliding into my pockets causing her to tense up.

“No. You aren’t.” She was not one of my confidants, and I wasn’t sure if she would be for quite some time.

“I see.” She then rounded the corner and the soft sound of a chain went with it. I was not certain if she had believed me, but at least she didn’t attack me.

Feels like I’m walking through a minefield sometimes . . . do I even belong in a crazy place like this!?

I made my way to my room, and was finally allowed in. I lay on my side and wondered if maybe I’d taken things too far. I figured I was doing a decent job, but what if I’d inadvertently fucked up the timeline?

This wasn’t like me to contemplate if I wasn’t good enough. Did it even matter if I fucked up the timeline if it was going to do that itself anyways? I knew there were ‘bad ends’ Subaru could get.

I flopped onto my back and I looked up to the ceiling. 

My eyes felt heavy as I stared.

I leaned into the mattress and let out a small groan. Being in a fantasy world wasn’t easy, especially while trying to help a time traveler. 

Then I felt a faint gust of wind. 

My heart stirred and my breath hitched. Where the hell was I? I was upon some kind of balcony, gazing down at a massive city. It was beautiful, the people looked happy, I enjoyed the view for what felt like hours. A smile upon my face at the joy the people had experienced.

These were my people, and by my right, they deserved to live comfortably. 

. . . that was an odd thought. Wait, what kind of dream even is this? I looked upwards from the city walls, and spotted endless sands. A sense of deja vu poured through me, and I recalled a dream I’d had previously.

A dream of a man’s hubris showing him the error of his ways. My hand tightened on the railing, and my expression turned into a frown. I had a bad feeling, as though everything was about to fall apart.

Then night fell, and the buzzing began. The once pristine river that ran through the city turned red as blood, frogs sprang from its flow, insects broke from the sands and ravaged the city, and a massive storm brewed. 

Yet I did not bow. My city would not fall, and with the aid of the Gods, it did not. For three days of darkness the city, once joyful, raged in order to survive. The Gods of this land had protected us the best they could, yet they could not stop this plague.

I knew I could stop it within a moment, all I had to do was accept defeat. Yet I did not, despite how much I desired it. My Brother had done this, yet if I gave into his demands my own people would suffer. His people, or my people. 

I did not want my people to look at me with scorn, I loved them and they loved me.

I could not bring myself to harm them.

I would find another solution.

I felt this figure's emotions, and I was reminded of a younger version of myself. Selfish, prideful, vain. A true fool who could not see the error of their ways, and in doing so it had led to disaster.

Our hearts clashed against each other, each vying for control in this awful scenario, and I lost again and again. His ego was far greater than my own when I was a child, and I screamed into the darkness of our form.

Then I saw him. A young boy, boils upon his flesh, his breathing slow, his flesh gray. I ran up to him and held him close, pushing his hair lightly to the side in order to see his pustule filled eyes. His jaw hung simply, but a whisper left his lips.

“Father . . . help.” Yet we could do no such thing. The flood of emotions that entered me were accompanied by the one I’d been screaming at coming to a realization. We-YOU could have saved him. 

If you just bowed your head. 

Sorrow, doubt, regret, anger. Accompanied by a question. 

“Was this my fault?”

Undoubtedly the answer to the question was yes. I too knew such pain. I had pushed away someone dear, and I knew they would never return for my mistake, even if I changed it would not change a single thing.

“So why change at all?”

Things will only get worse if you refuse to acknowledge your flaws. Only more will be lost, until inevitably nothing remains.

The words were not acknowledged audibly, but the lesson was slowly being carved into his expression all the same.

So while we resisted the plague earlier, this weakened will had broke down our defense. A curse uniquely woven for us as the screams of dying gods and humans alike echoed throughout the city. The footsteps of soldiers crushed the sand beneath their boots as they chased down those that fled, the child in my arms slowly turning to sand.

Yet, I still lived. My flesh slowly hardened into stone, and I took the opportunity to trudge through the city.

Then I came across and old statue of mine and frowned as I read the words inscripted upon the pedestal beneath it.

The words carved into stone should have held true, yet in my hubris they had become a lie.

My eyes opened and my breath slowly left my mouth as I stared at the ceiling. 

What the hell was that? What the hell did that pedestal say? I didn’t even get the chance to read it! This was ridiculous.

 Multiple times in that dream it felt like I was becoming him, and only barely breaking away before he subsumed me and forced me to play the role he did.

That . . . that had to be my Persona. But who? Who could that be? I wasn’t a huge mythology buff back home, and I didn't know much about desert rulers who got attacked by plagues. I forced myself out of bed and changed my clothes as I rolled out a crick in my neck.

Whatever, I had stuff to do. 

However as I made my way out of my room I realized the mansion was oddly empty. After some wandering through the quiet I found myself face to face with the lord of the manor. 

“Why helloooo there, it would seem as you slept in, you have been given the duty of taking care of the mansion while the rest of the staff supply at the nearby village. Do make haste, I have a meeting to attend too!”

Damn it. Everybody else got to go on a field trip, while I was stuck with the work! I gave a casual salute to ‘The Boss’ and decided to get right on that. A list was handed to me by the tall figure.

“Thank you Lord Roswall.” For a second there I almost forgot his name, but I remembered just in time! I gave a small bow as I spoke, and silently read over the list.

“Well now, enjoy your work and make sure you do everything!” He started to open the window and my jaw lightly dropped at what was on the list, more specifically at the bottom.

• Clean all restrooms

Fuuuuuuuuck. This was going to be awful. My eyes moved over to him, but to my great surprise he was flying out the window he had just opened. I bit my lip and moved down the hall, I had to find the damn supplies first before I could get to work.

First though, I had a few letters to write. To my former boss, and to Adelheid as well. Let’s start with Adelheid, she most definitely should come first! She was my first real friend in this world after all.

“Dear Adelheid Van Astrea

I write this letter to you with remorse at our abrupt parting, as my work has led me elsewhere. In pursuit of my goal I have taken up a new job as a butler of the Manor of Lord Roswal. I am certain you have heard of him and his good reputation, so while I am joyful at this outcome, it wounds my heart that I am unable to spend time with you as often as we previously had.

I dearly hope that such an outcome does not strain the relationship we hold, and that you shall forgive my actions and write back to me whenever you get the chance.

I hope to see you again when I return to the capital city, of which I have a feeling that I will be doing so quite soon.

Best Regards of your Dear Companion,

James Amala Bell

I really did feel bad for abandoning her . . . it was almost like I ditched her for Subaru! Alright, I kind of did to be fair.

Damn it.

Now I’ve got more letters to write and lots of work to do, I’ll make sure this gets mailed later though.

It’s an important letter after all.

. . . 

I hate cleaning bathrooms, but let it be known that I did do it. I won’t go into the gruesome details though. No one deserves such a fate. While making my way out of the restroom, and going to put my supplies back as the sweat dripped from my brow, I ended up entering a library causing me to frown.

Seriously? Now of all the times? Just let me put my tools down first!

“Good evening Beatrice, I’ll be taking my leave in just a moment.”

I didn’t want to deal with this ojou-sama type while being exhausted! At my words she lightly blushed and took a seat next to me. She even lightly patted the chair 

“You look tired, why don’t you stay and rest for a while?” 

I nearly grumbled, but instead it just came out as a sigh.

“Thanks, today has been a busy day.” She lightly pressed into my side, and she seemed quite proud of herself as she did so. Was this the result of my Spirit Affinity being so high? 

Part of me just wanted to leave, this really did just feel like mind control. Yet, I couldn’t just leave her like this.

I had to take responsibility. 

So I stood up with a small heave, and looked down to her with a casual smile.

“Say, would you like to accompany me for tea? I can make a decent brew.” 

She stood up, and from what I understood of her she certainly liked to be pampered. 

“Most certainly, I trust it will be up to my standards.”

I guess the crown on her head wasn’t just for show, she treated herself like a princess. We exited the room together, and she seemed slightly intrigued by the cleanliness of the outside. I’d also needed to clean as normal and I hadn’t held back.

“You certainly did a fine job, without Rem and Ram here I assumed you’d do a bit worse . . . you certainly are a born butler I suppose!” 

Is that the impression I gave off? We moved into the kitchen and I started to prepare the tea, my hand was slightly shaky with exhaustion, but I powered through. Beatrice needed her tea! Honestly, so did I . . . 

This world had different teas compared to my previous one, but I settled on something fairly similar to green tea back home. A little sweet, and certainly could help me relax after a long day.

“Thank you for the kind words Lady Beatrice, your input is valued as it dances upon my ears.”

Oddly enough as I conversed with her, I almost felt proper tea etiquette being engraved into my body. Was this the work of my awakening Persona? He did seem to be some kind of ruler after all. My hand steadied as I softly sipped from my cup.

It was delicious.

Nevertheless she gave a small huff of pride at my words, and a big smile.

Then Subaru burst in, and Beatrice nearly dropped her tea. However I managed to catch it as I turned up to Subaru who had a determined expression on her face.

“I have great reason to believe I’m cursed! Please give me a check up Doctor Beako!”

Both of our lips twitched at the sudden intrusion, yet before ‘Beako’ got the chance to respond I poured her pour tea, as well as poured Subaru some.

“Why don’t you take a seat Subaru, let’s discuss it over tea.” Subaru flashed me a thumbs up at the assist, and I softly held the tea cup of Beatrice's lip.

She took a big sip of her tea while she waited for Subaru to get closer, then suddenly she paused. Then she slowly turned to Subaru with widening eyes.

“I just told you about Shamans, how did you get cursed so quickly I suppose!?” 

A drop of sweat fell down my face. Subaru was cursed? What the hell?

“So it turns out the Shaman was one of the villagers after all, can you figure out what kind of curse it is?” 

WHAT? One of the villages is a curse user? 

“Doesn’t matter, you’ll die. Just leave me be with my Butler and Tea!”

“Your butler!? He’s not your personal butler you know?”

“Then why is he serving me tea I suppose?” Beatrice looked smug, and Subaru was practically growling. Yet Beatrice’s expression did fall as I lowered the tea cup down 

At that point I decided to clear my throat. There were more important matters at hand.

“I believe we should focus on the fact that you have found yourself cursed Subaru.”

“Oh yeah, right.” She palmed her fist into her hand with a small smile and Beatrice's expression only morphed in slight annoyance.

“You are barely even phased at the idea that you’re going to die, are you even scared of dying?”

WRONG THING TO SAY BEATRICE!

“Not scared of dying? Are you crazy? Dying is the worst! I wish people who’d say I’d rather die would go ahead and give it a try before spouting that crap! Which is why, I’m going to find my way out! Anyways . . . do me a solid and remove this curse!”

“Now why would I do that I suppose?”

Things are devolving rapidly, I need to use my secret technique!

“Lady Beatrice, won’t you do me a favor and assist my coworker? Her sustained existence allows me to spend more time serving you, does it not?”

Suave -> Charismatic

“W-well I suppose I can help you out a bit then.” She hopped off her chair and Subaru threw me a thankful look that rapidly turned into annoyance when she fully registered my words.

“So are you actually her personal butler or something else like that!?” She pointed straight at me and I let out a small chuckle. 

“Something else.”

Then as Beatrice set her hand on Subaru’s side, her outstretched out started to emit a sickly black mist. The scent of such a thing causing me to stare at it in anger. It reeked of Hunger. Devouring ravages of Gluttony.

Something ever so adjacent to Pride, an instinctual disgust of both myself and my rapidly resonating Persona.

“I have to get to the village. That Shaman just keeps messing with me! Damn it all!”

Then she sprinted out of the room without another word.

Oh shit. 

Oh fuck!

Time to fight a shaman!? I don’t even have a sword! As I prepared to leave I grabbed a pair of kitchen knives, not suitable for fighting, and certainly not a sword, but it was something.

“Forgive me Beatrice, but I have to go help her.”

“H-hey! Don’t throw your life away-” yet I was already chasing after my maid companion who was speaking to the twin maids.

Alright. Guess we’re doing this then.

AN: Big Chapter this time. In this one a lot happens. Letters are sent, Personas grow close to awakening, and most of all the plot finally catches up to us! Time to fight an army of monsters, yet they might just find themselves lacking in the face of a Persona user! 

Thanks to everyone who voted for me to make this chapter, it's good to get another one out and help reignite my muse! Been having some writer's block recently and playing A LOT of Deltarune (which luckily I’m finally caught up to the game that is PEAK).

Anyways, I appreciate all comments and questions.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see ya all in the next one!