I'm Asking for a Moment

As some may know, my grandmother was back in the ICU a week ago. The past week was grueling; the waiting and hoping were nearly unbearable. This morning she passed. Still, I am grateful that we got to spend two more months with her after her surgery, grateful that we spent the holidays with her, and grateful that she is my grandmother. I can't say that she went as peacefully as we had hoped for, but it's more than I could ask for. I don't want to see her keep suffering from going in and out of the hospital constantly, and I'm glad we got to say proper goodbyes; I find that very rare. We said our farewells yesterday, and the whole night I was tense; every notification from messages or rings from calls made my heart skip a beat, asking, "Is this it?" I finally got my head straight for a little while the next morning, and that's when I received the message. As I read my doctor cousin's message saying "big brother," I knew what was coming. The seconds that followed before she sent the next message made me feel like I was endlessly falling into a bottomless pit. We were expecting it, but I was still shaken. For the next several minutes I was shaking.

I love my grandmother. She had her lapses, of course, she was only human after all, but she always had my back. No matter what I did or said. That one constant thing that I could count on made her very special to my eyes. So I'll be asking for a moment; I could barely even think of what to say to finish this post. EO should handle all queries and reports for the time that I'll be away. I won't be long. I'd likely still be available to chat, I believe.

                                                                                 My immense gratitude to everyone,
                                                                                                     LO (EO hater)