Autistic woman trying to figure out how to get put under house arrest
Added 2025-04-15 10:00:21 +0000 UTC
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman is wondering which precise crime she’d have to commit to end up under house arrest, it has been rumoured.
Miya Wilkes, 34, who is equally terrified of prison and the outside world respectively, has been mooting the exact level of criminal activity that will result in her getting to chill on the sofa with an ankle bracelet that gets her out of parties.
Wilkes said: “If the movies are correct, it needs to be a high-level white-collar crime, and I already need to be rich and influential enough that they’re not going to send me to actual jail.”
“Balls.”
Wilkes’ lawyer, childhood friend Aidan Michaels, 34, commented: “I don’t know what you want me to do, Miya. I’m in mergers and acquisitions.”
“Sure you could embezzle,” Michaels continued. “Do you have a company to embezzle from?”
Wilkes could not be reached for a reply as she was sulking.
