Autistic travel! Top three destinations to imagine in detail but have no desire to actually visit

Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock

If you’re like most people, the draw of exciting new climates, adventures and an escape from the routine of your daily life is impossible to resist. But you’re not like most people, are you? No. You’re not. 

But just because you have no desire to live it doesn’t mean you can’t dream it! Here are three destinations to pretend you’ll probably go to one day, while mysteriously never getting round to visiting. 

Australia

Australia - the land down under. An opposite land where night is day, winter is summer and people walk on the ceiling instead of the floor. 

Yes you can skip the 23-hour flight and simply close your eyes to be transported to a place where everyone talks backwards, like that bit of Twin Peaks that gave you nightmares for a month. Perfect. 

Greece 

Close your eyes and imagine you’re on a pristine beach. The sky is a dazzling blue and the sun beats down on your body, sand clinging to your every orifice - nowhere to pee but the turquoise Mediterranean, which you emerge from dripping wet, causing yet more sand to infiltrate every last crack and crevice. 

On second thoughts, you’re probably better off at home playing Mario Kart. 

Mordor 

On paper, Mordor, the realm of the evil Lord Sauron, with its beautiful mines, fortresses and active volcanos, might sound like a dream destination - but, much like Australia, it’s a real bitch to get to. 

If you like the idea of an epic quest, traversing unknown terrain, with danger lurking around each corner and a little self-loathing creature trying to sabotage everything you do, you could always try a trip to the corner shop.

Remember there's a whole world out there to explore - so we advise shutting those curtains, pulling the duvet over your head and saving yourself the time, money and energy! Bon voyage!