some new art, *new year's resolutions*, & updates

Hey everyone! Hope you're doing well since I last checked in.

I know the new year doesn't mean the dumpster fire we're currently experiencing is over, but I've personally made a couple of changes to my life (not New Year's resolutions, but goals I set mid-December) that I wanted to share with you.

Don't purchase any clothing for six months

I love finding fun clothes, especially online thrifting, which is a really bad habit when you have a closet built in the 1920s. There's barely room for my sweaters and hoodies, and I can't fit my jackets on the rack. I had a huge walk-in closet in my old apartment, and I definitely sacrificed closet space with my house. Maybe two years ago, I had a goal to not purchase any clothing for one entire year unless I *needed* it (underwear, socks, a specific basic that wore out) and I completely kept to it! I didn't thrift or buy anything new, which was crazy for both my bank account and my own sustainability and consumerism. I'm sorely tempted to at least continue thrifting, but unless I leave something in the rack and dream about it that night, I won't be buying any new or thrifted clothing for 6 months.

Counseling

I just made my first appointment for counseling! I'm so excited; this has been something I've wanted to do since March. I had terrible anxiety at the end of March and beginning of April, and the summer was really hard for me relationally. Apart from Covid and social justice in America, I've been struggling with my self-worth, overthinking, trauma from past experiences, and my relationship with my family. I had talked to my boyfriend and close friends about how I wanted to start counseling, and then everything went into lockdown. This was and has been really hard on my mental health, and I've been trying to "self-medicate": write stream of consciousness, set manageable goals for the way I communicate and handle situations, and remove toxic people and habits out of my life. My first meeting is on the 26th! 

Get piercings (maybe tattoos)

I've wanted tons of piercings since I was 15; it's definitely a theme in my drawings, and I've always thought they're so fun. I wasn't allowed to have my ears pierced growing up; I did this crazy rebellious thing and got my ears pierced when I was 20, but I've been scared to do any further body modifications because of my parents. Something I want to cover in my counseling is the lack of personal autonomy I feel even though I am fully self-sufficient. Making decisions over my own body is something I am allowed to do (I'm 22, my parents can't control me forever?!), and piercings are for sure the first step towards that. I got my seconds pierced a couple months ago, and I just got my thirds and rook this past week! Lots of healing to do, but I'm on a kick. I'm waiting to do my cartilage with Zac, but watch me get something else in the meantime...

In the same vein of having autonomy over my body and aesthetic choices, I might start getting the tattoos I've been thinking about for a couple years now. I love the look of sticker tattoos, and my end goal is to have tons of tattoos over my arms, chest, back, and hands. Don't say anything mean, I'm fragile, and this is the first time I'm sharing this on the internet hahaha. 

Change my hair up!

This was the most impulsive. I didn't plan to do anything major with my hair; I was planning on doing a blonde balyage with my mid-length hair. However, I crazy impulsively decided to dye my hair black and cut it into a bob. I love it. Love love love. This is the most I've felt like me in.. ever? I think this suits me really well, and if I continue loving the black, I'll get it as a permanent color (it's currently semi-permanent). 

Tons of aesthetic changes, but I've been very happy with them all by now!

Eat less meat- when I do, only organic

This one is kinda weird, but I don't love cheap meat. I don't prepare a crazy amount of meat to begin with (I cook with a mostly pescatarian diet) and that's because cheaper meat makes me feel more sick. I grew up eating only organic, low sugar, and even vegetarian for a good couple of years, so my body isn't fully adjusted to more processed food. Buying all my groceries in a smaller town is kinda hard. I don't have Whole Foods or Trader Joe's to quickly hit up for healthier essentials, and I don't spend a lot of time researching what meats to purchase at the regular grocery store. Obviously, organic food and meat is a lot more expensive than conventional, and that's a reason I haven't been purchasing good meat. However, if I am going to be eating meat, I want it to be healthy. I plan to meal prep more, be intentional with when I do eat meat, and to only purchase good quality meat.  (How many times have I said MEAT) My goal for this year is to be healthier inside and out, and budgeting for good quality food is one thing I want to keep to this year.

Those are all my personal goals at the moment! I just applied to graduate today, filled out the info I want on my diploma, and also found out that commencement and graduation will be virtual. I don't want to compromise health for myself or anyone else, but honestly, that stinks. I didn't have a high school graduation since I was homeschooled, and I was banking on a college graduation to at least say "yo, you worked a lot and this is the culmination of all of that". Super bummed, I don't wanna graduate on Zoom, but my roommate and I will make the best of it! Definitely gonna have a little roommate grad party (just us two and the cats).

And I got a switch! Better late than never; been grinding on my Animal Crossing island. Lemme know if you want me to share about it!

Do you guys have anything to share? I'm definitely wondering how you guys are approaching 2021 since we all know nothing is going back to normal any time soon. How are you coping? 

Here's a little playlist for you: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3T8zLwyOA0s9vHAYpYglRO?si=hZ36RAMyR0ivPfUjHRoaeg

Love you all :3