People Pleasers, Here’s Why You NEED To Start Being An Asshole

Reading time: 5 minutes

Have you ever noticed the rudest people, no-one ever messes with rude people?

The most disrespectful, rude, arrogant and outspoke people ALWAYS get so much more respect and power than the soft spoken, gentle and “humble” people. 

Today I’m going to explain why this is and I'm going to tell you exactly how to apply these principles and get the respect that rude people have, into your life whilst still remaining a good and clean hearted person.

Because you can still be kind and maintain your moral dignity, its just that most people have been taught to believe that being a kind and good persons means to put up with people bullshit and let them do whatever they want to you… yeah fuck that.

1. Rude People Always Make Sure That Their Efforts Are Acknowledged 

A lot of good gentle people always feel unappreciated and people don’t notice the sacrifices they do.

When you normalise your sacrifices, people will see you as the sacrificial lamb who will always make sacrifices, overextend and bend over backwards for them.

Your sacrifices will become so normalised that they won’t even be thankful and will become entitled to it.

Anytime you allow people to repeatedly use you, they become entitled. When they become entitled, they stop showing signs of appreciation.

You will end up seeing yourself doing MUCH more for someone, than other people, but then you see the people do did the least for them get the most respect and appreciation.

You must stop being so passive with what you are doing. 

How Do “Rude” People Get Respect With What They Do?

• “Rude” people do not bend over backwards and overextend themselves for other peoples benefit.

• “Rude” people are not people pleasers 

• “Rude” people do not do things for other people, which comes at their own inconvenience

You can still remain a good, clean and kind hearted person without being a doormat.

Even in a religious context, there is no teaching of God that encourage people to be a doormat in this life.

Do what you can for people, once you’ve reached your capacity of giving, thats it, you’re done. Don’t overextend. 

Do not create patterns with people to where they become dependant and reliant of your help, support and assistance.

• Theres a group project, but you are the one doing most of the work

• Your friends get into some bullshit, but you are the one who always has to go and bail them out 

• Theres a party somewhere, but you are the one who’s always driving and paying for your own fuel ⛽️ 

• Theres things you and your friends want to do, but you are the one who always has to arrange everything for the get together

These kinds of people unfortunately end up feeling unappreciated and always walk all over on.

Religious people usually have to most pushback whenever you mention things about having self respect and not being a fucking doormat.

But even God Has firm boundaries

This is why people get punished for their sinful actions. 

God loves you and is the most merciful but theres boundaries, consequences and repercussions for going against his word.

2. Stop Letting Things Slide

There must be consequences and repercussions for people's nonsense.

This is not up for negotiation.

Too many people have been fooled into “turning the other cheek” whenever someone wrongs them.

You must give people the same energy they give you.

Think about it—if they can dish it out, why are you worried about how they take it?

They should be tough enough to handle the same treatment.

Sometimes you may need to say "no" to requests:

• You might not be able to give them money.

• You might not be able to meet up and hang out.

• You might not be able to bail them out of their mess for the 50th time.

Saying no can cause those people to become annoyed at you and distant which will trigger your people-pleasing mode where you try to smooth things over and make sure everything is still cool between you.

• If they want to act like a dick when you say no, let them. 

• If they don't call you, don't call them

• If they don't text you, don't text them

• If they make sneaky, underhanded comments about you, make sneaky and underhanded comments about them

• If they act like you're no longer friends, then be out of sight and out of mind ✌️ 

If they choose to calm down, they know where to find you.

No matter how much it hurts, don't be the person who ALWAYS has to fix things when people get mad because you refused to put them first at your own expense. 

You enable people when you comfort them at your own expense, especially when they are in uncomfortable life situations because of their own actions.

You shouldn't seek to comfort people at the cost of your mental health. 

I understand it It’s painful when it involves loved ones, but there must be consequences for people's nonsense. 

People need to feel the impact of their actions; otherwise, they will think it’s okay to keep treating you poorly.

You must "stand on business."

3. Rude People Do Not Care About Feelings

Rude people prioritise their own feelings first. If you're religious, the only one who should come before you is God.

After God, always put yourself first.

When have you ever seen a "Rude" person put themselves last????

They ALWAYS put themselves first.

Many people, especially those with religious beliefs, think being a good person means sacrificing their happiness, peace, and mental health for others.

They believe that to be good, they must constantly put others' needs before their own.

Sure, if someone is in a very bad situation and you can help, do it. Don't refuse to help when you genuinely have the means to assist someone who truly needs it. Not everyone is trying to take advantage of you, but be wise enough to know the difference.

Do not enable people in their self-made problems

For example, giving money to a lazy friend who refuses to work because they think they are too good for certain jobs is enabling their bad behaviour.

If it were you in that situation, you'd dig ditches on Christmas Day to earn some cash.

When you always save people, they stop seeing you as a person and start seeing you as their emergency contingency plan.

They know you're the one to call whenever they need help. These types of people are the least appreciative and the most disrespectful.

You don't want to be the one who's always saving everyone. 

You'll end up feeling drained. You can't take everyone with you to the promised land. Don't feel guilty for being the most successful among your friends and family. Most of them aren't willing to do an inch of the work you did to get where you are.

Don't let them feel entitled to your success either. 

Lazy friends and family might think they deserve a share just because they know you. Don't let people only call you when they need a favour.

Whether it's friends or family, don't let that become a habit because you won't be respected for it.

Another thing:

people don't respect you when they talk over you, dismiss what you say, or constantly fact-check you. It shows they don't value your opinion.

"Rude" people will call out anyone who interrupts them while they're talking. 

It’s not actually rude to do this; the person who interrupts you whilst talking is the real rude one.

"Rude" people just stand up for themselves and don't let others walk all over them.

People pleasers feel “rude” for calling out someone else’s rudeness.

You are NOT rude for calling out someone else’s rudeness. 

Next, your NO should always mean NO. 

Do not let people persuade you out of it. Do not entertain someone's persistence after you have said NO.

If you entertain their persistence, they will know that eventually, you will crack and go back on your word.

Stand firm and make it clear that NO means NO, without exceptions.

4. Rude People Do Not Allow Others to Make Them Feel Small and Insignificant

The moment you allow people to put you down, it will become a pattern if you don't check them the first time they do it.

Never let the jokes be at the expense of your mental health and self esteem.

Don't be the person others can insult with their sly jokes. 

Establish strict boundaries about what jokes are acceptable with you.

If you don't set these boundaries, people will eventually start making jokes about your deepest insecurities. 

Other people's laughter should not come at the expense of your mental health and self-esteem.

Maybe you have a best friend with who you share very personal jokes with each other?

Other people might see this and think they can do the same to you without understanding that you and your best friend have a unique relationship.

When people you're not close to try this, check them immediately.

You and your best friend should only make those jokes in private because if you do it when you are around other people who don’t know your unique friendship, those people will believe it is ok to do those similar jokes to you as well.

Why?

Because it’s fair game, if you allow one person to joke about you, then why can someone else not do it?

Especially if these people are friends but you are not ‘close’ like best friends.

Keep the very personal and deep jokes with your best friends in private.

Rude people do not even joke around with people they are not close with. This is why no-one gets too comfortable and try to disrespect them.

I'm not saying you should be the same, but be careful with you allow to get comfortable making jokes with.

5. Don’t Tolerate Disrespect 

Under NO circumstances should people be disrespectful to you. 

• I don’t care if they are angry 

• I don’t care if they are hungry 

• I don’t care if they are having a bad day

• I don’t care if they are experiencing normal problems 

You think rude people allow disrespect to run? NEVER

With rude people, they will even hold the customer service Waiter/waitress accountable for getting their order wrong in the restaurant.

If you have not been rude to anyone, then don’t allow anyone to disrespect you, especially for absolutely no reason.

When people know you are NOT THE ONE to play with, they think twice before they continue being rude, their energy will change.

Why? Because NOBODY likes a hard fight. Not even professional fighter. 

People who are bullies will only target people who are emotionally weak and don't have the courage to stand or speak for themselves.

they don't bother with someone who they know will make a scene.

For those of you reading who are in relationships.

A relationship will not get better when you allow your partner to shout and be rude to you for no reason without any consequences. This is a perfect recipe for a terrible relationship. 

Whenever your partner shouts and disrespects you for something you did not do, there must be repercussions for thinking they can talk to your like that.

If they go crazy on you for no reason you should ignore them for 2 weeks and then they MUST make it up to you in order for you to decide if the relationship should continue.

When they disrespect you, make it HARD for them to come back in your life.

They MUST work for your respect and acceptance again.

People should not feel like they can talk to you anyhow they wish or want.

Especially for men. 

So many men have been tricked into believing that just because a woman is more in tune with her emotions that it’s okay for her to be disrespectful towards him even if he did not do anything wrong. 

Men deserve respect just as much as women do, and emotional expression does not mean she be doing rude behaviour.

Regardless if it’s a man or woman, do NOT allow disrespect and someone’s anger to escalate. Especially if you did not do anything to trigger it.

“Rude” people will definitely let you know when you acting crazy. 

6. Rude People Are Unapologetic

If you're always the one trying to make the other person comfortable after conflicts, there will be no respect. 

You did what you did, and you said what you said—why should you have to reach out to "bless things out"?

Rude people are happy and comfortable with never hearing from you again after an argument.

I encourage you to carry yourself in a way where you don't do or say anything you'll need to apologise for later. 

Of course, if you're actually wrong about something, own up and apologise. But we're talking about apologising for something you didn't do or something that wasn't your fault.

*In a business context, this is different. If you run a business, accepting responsibility for you or your employees' mistakes is your duty, and you should hold them accountable in private.*

In normal life, however, don't feel guilt or shame for not apologising when you're not wrong. Don't be the one always trying to fix things when someone is upset, especially when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Stand firm in your actions and words. 

Don't let others manipulate you into feeling responsible for their reactions or emotions when you're not at fault.

-Till next time