Men, Normalise Telling Women “I Can’t Afford This Right Now”

Men today are often shamed and criticised for not being able to afford certain things when dating women. Society has created this expectation that men should always be able to provide and spend money to keep women happy. 

It's gotten so bad that some men will secretly go broke trying to impress a woman they like, just so she doesn't lose interest. 

Guys will lie about having their own car and house when, in reality, they still use public transport or ride a bike everywhere and live at home with their parents.

But if a guy is grinding and trying to make something of himself, then what is wrong with this? Genuinely. We have to start from somewhere.

This pressure to present a facade of financial independence and success can get overwhelming. Men (especially young men) feel compelled to fake a lifestyle they can’t afford just to meet societal expectations and avoid judgment.

Instead of being honest about their situation, they end up creating a bunch of lies that only adds stress and complicates relationships.

I’m all for spoiling women and not being a cheapskate. However, Men (especially young men) shouldn't feel pressured to live beyond their means just to maintain a relationship or a girl they’re dating.

There's nothing wrong with being early on the path of life. It's perfectly fine to be a young man at the start of your journey.

Most Women Will Never Understand The Male Struggle.

From an early age, women are often wined and dined, given free entry into expensive clubs, treated to free dinners at fancy restaurants, and sometimes even flown around the world for free.

Most women, especially if they're really attractive, get access to an amazing life without lifting a finger. This makes it hard for them to understand why a guy might be broke in his teens and twenties. They compare young men to guys who are ten years older, who have had more time to establish themselves financially. 

But everyone starts somewhere. Normalising the idea that it's okay to be at the beginning of your journey is crucial.

You shouldn't feel pressured to compete with older, more established guys. Instead, I believe you should focus on your growth and progress without feeling inadequate.

If you try to keep up with appearances and meet the demands of women who want a guy who already has a car, his own house and a cool lifestyle, YOU WILL FUCK YOURSELF FINANCIALLY.

Then after a year of dating she will start to realise you was actually broke but you was forcing a life you really didn’t have, she can easily leave you and finds someone who is REALLY like that whilst you are having to start all over again because you have been spending so much money and time on her and the relationship that you don’t have anything to show for yourself.

You’ll end up womanless and broke.

If You Don't Have The Means, Avoid Putting On A Facade, No Matter How Tempting It May Be.

Tell every girl you meet that you'll make an effort to provide, but you aren't currently in a position to do all the nice and fancy things consistently.

It might suck and be embarrassing to admit this, but it will save you a lot of stress and worry.

Trying to maintain a lifestyle you can't afford drains your energy and money that you could use for more important things like investing and building your business.

Or better yet, instead of wasting a woman's time, let her find someone who can meet her desires in a relationship. Trust that your opportunity will come again. Being honest about your situation is better for both of you in the long run.

If you have a young and attractive girlfriend while you're broke, you could potentially be holding her back and sabotaging her happiness. A woman's biological clock is different from a man's.

Women have value at all ages, but society and most men consider them to be at their peak attractiveness in their late teens through their 20s.

Yes, there are many beautiful women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s. However, most men, especially successful men, prefer women who are in their late teens to early 30s.

So, if you know you can't give her the love and support she genuinely deserves, you need to be real. Do what's best for her instead of holding her back if you're not in a position to provide what she needs. Which is a guy who ticks all the boxes she needs.

Sometimes, that's what love means. It means loving someone so much that you know it's better to let them go because they'll be happier with someone else than being with you. NOBODY speaks about this.

This requires a lot of self-reflection.

If you suggest for her to find better because you feel like you are holding her back and she still stays with you, that's fine.

For Us Men, It's Different

 If we work on the right things, like our fitness and finances, we can be attractive to most women from age 25 up to 55. However for women, after the age of 33-35, not many men who tick a lot of boxes will consider them as serious life partners.

Yes, there are very attractive women past these ages who are highly desired by men.

But those women are exceptions. They're the ones who devote their lives to staying fit and attractive throughout their 20s and never get lazy with their appearance.

For most people, as they get older they also decline in maintaining their appearance, they get lazy in maintaining their attractiveness.

This affects men, but it affects women more, which is why most women in their mid-30s and above aren't considered 'first picks' for highly desirable men in society.

That's why I advocate for men not to waste a woman's time if they can't give her the love she deserves. Their timeline is different from ours.

As a young guy in your teens and 20s, all the guys who are richer than you are much older than you. Most are in their 30s and 40s. 

You need to work on your frame, you need to work on finding your right style, you need to build assets.

Running 'game' and doing all those cold approach Tik Tok attraction techniques is cool and fun, but where would you bring her back if you go on a date? 

Are you going to start passionately making out with her in the middle of a street? 

Are you going to try and have sex with her in the park? 

Take some time to really think about this.

Paying hotels is cool if it’s a girl you see on occasion but if this is a girlfriend then how long can you continue paying for hotels if you’re not in the most comfortable financial situation? 

Most girls won’t be comfortable going to a hotel unless they really know you because going to a hotel after they first meet a guy will make them ‘FEEL’ like a prostitute. 

Dating Seriously Is A Waste Of Time When You Ain’t Got The Main Shit Sorted Out

You’re honestly better of having a girl you see and have sex with occasionally without any serious commitments to one another and/or masturbating a few times a week and focus on getting your money right. 

I know most guys reading would’ve never expected me to recommend masturbating. However this is more of a temporary solution for a temporary phase you are in.

I see most of the online 'alpha male' guys talk shit about masturbating, but I’ve spoken to a few doctors about this.

Masturbation 1-3 times a week is not bad and won’t ruin your life.

Masturbation becomes an issue when you have an addiction for it. If you are doing it multiple times everyday? Yes this is now a problem and you need to fix that problem. 

if you masturbate, just remind me not to shake your hand if we ever come across each other 😹

Theres No Shame In Being 25 And Not having Your Own House And Car

Don’t feel guilty for not having this. 

With the way the current economy is setup, most people even at 30 don’t have their own house and car. They are still living with parents, roommates, or friends.

The ones who do have it, started businesses when they were very, very young or they grinned their ass off for the past 6-7 years at a really good job they managed to get an early age.

A lot of women will respect you a lot for just being upfront about your situation because most of them will also be in a similar situation. Some could be possible willing to work through it with you. 

If it’s clear she’s just down for sex with no commitments and sex is being offered, then go for it.

But again, if you can tell her main objective is to start something serious, don’t con her into a relationship because you’d just be wasting her time. 

It’s only going to affect you, your money and your time. 

Just let her know that you cannot give her the true love she is requires because you are young and trying build a good life so you’d be holding her back.

This Is much better than trying to pretend like you are a baller.

Normalise being a broke 20 something year old still trying to make it. 

-Till next time