Don't Set Your Slut Dial Above Its Recommended Settings

This week a Fetlifian sent a question into the Fetisphere: How could she turn her demi self into a slut? She wanted to join the fuck fest, but she couldn’t find her inner Caligula. People gave her their best advice, but I kept quiet. I’ve set my slut dial higher than its recommended slut settings before, and it wasn’t fun. It was a travesty.

I felt as though someone had taken out my insides and replaced them with a sticky mess. I still recall the sensation 18 years later. I wasn’t built for anonymous encounters. Exposing myself to strangers felt like throwing my love into a vacuum.

I support all happy sluts. I really, truly want you to have a thousand orgies if that’s what makes you smile. My recommended slut settings aren’t lower than yours because I judge you. I just experience sex a little differently than you. It feels intimate to me. It’s never been a simple physiological encounter. I admire those who can experience it as such, but I’ve also had to accept that I do not.

My anonymous encounters have always left me feeling a little ill and ashamed. I don’t like giving my body to strangers. I don’t like laying secrets at strangers’ feet.

Promiscuity isn’t the only setting on the slut gage anyway. Sluts come in a thousand different colours. Not all of us are into anonymous romps with six random strangers and a dragon dildo. There are monogamous sluts and poly sluts; discerning sluts and indiscriminate sluts; vanilla sluts and kinky sluts, demi sluts and sapio sluts.

I’m a discriminating, monogamous, sex-obsessed slut. I get to choose my own damned settings, and those are mine. In a loving, intimate relationship, I transform my life into my own version of Caligula. It’s just that there are only two people there.

What’s that you say? It doesn’t sound that slutty?

You might be right. Caligula isn’t Caligula without orgies, but I get to be my own kind of slut. I don’t require you to approve my slut dial. I don’t even require you to call it a slut dial. I have a profound understanding of my sexuality, and I’m leaving my settings where the manufacturer recommended.

I am the manufacturer, by the way. So is the woman I mentioned at the top of this post. I’m probably not supposed to give out advice about sex, but please, for the love of dragon dildos, keep your slut dial at a comfortable setting.

You’re not inferior for it.

You’re not an outlier for it.

You’re not missing out. There are no benefits in pushing yourself to be someone you’re not. All you’re going to do is wear someone else’s skin for a while, and why would you want to do that? You’re perfect exactly as you are.