From the Top - Chapter 16

Miracle of miracles, school did start turning around for me. It took an angry phone call from Kat on Wednesday because I was already falling behind her study schedule, but I did really well on my math test. Or at least I felt I had since I wouldn’t get the grade back until the next week.

I’d just gotten home and set up at the dining room table to start on my homework when my phone started buzzing. The guys wouldn’t be over for practice for another thirty minutes or so, and Kat had swim practice, so I hadn’t been expecting a call, least of all from Keenan, whose name showed on my phone.

Although I saw him almost every day, we didn’t actually talk much beyond a few pleasantries, so it was unusual for him to call me. Unless something had gone wrong with Willie.

“What happened?” I asked as soon as I answered the phone.

“Hey Charlie,” he said, sounding exhausted. “I wanted to give you a heads up before you tried to come up here today. Willie got taken to inpatient hospice in Asheville this morning.”

“Inpatient hospice? What … what does that mean?” I asked.

I’d heard of hospice before, and while I knew it wasn’t good, I didn’t really know what it was, although inpatient made me assume it was somewhere he’d stay, like being admitted to the hospital.

“It’s a, uhhh, place people go for end-of-life care, when it’s too much for them to deal with on their own.”

“End of life? Does that mean … is … is he …”

“He’s still going, but yes, it means he’s starting to deteriorate faster, and it’s gotten too much for us to handle on our own. His cancer has progressed enough that he needs more focused care. His doctors wanted him in an inpatient facility where they can keep a close eye on his symptoms and provide pain management.”

My throat felt tight. It wasn’t a surprise, not really. It had been clear for a while that he was dying. The cancer was steadily getting worse, and no one, least of all Willie, had any illusions that there would be a miraculous recovery. Still, I’d put it out of my mind. Even seeing him every day, so weak he could barely sit up, I’d kept myself from thinking about it too much. This, however, sounded very final.

“Once they stabilize him, can he come back home?” I asked.

“I don’t think so, Charlie. He’s in a lot of pain, and they are trying to make him as comfortable as they can. His organs have started to fail, so he needs continuous care at this point to manage the symptoms. It’s unlikely he’ll ever come back home.”

“Can I visit him there?” I asked.

“They’re still getting things situated, so it might be a little while before he can have non-family visitors. But I promise, as soon as they say it’s okay, I’ll make sure you get to see him.”

“Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Just …please call me as soon as you know when I can visit. I really want to see him.”

“I will,” he said and hung up.

I just sat there, staring at the table, my emotions all over the place. I was sad. Sad for Willie and how much pain he must be in, and sad for me knowing soon I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. I was also conflicted. I thought I should feel sadder than I did. Maybe it’s because, no matter how hard I tried to put it out of my mind, I knew this was coming. I hadn’t exactly prepared myself for it, but it wasn’t a surprise either.

I didn’t know if that was supposed to make it easier, less of a blow when we started to get near the end, or if maybe it had to do with Mom. Going through her death made dealing with the next one easier. I couldn’t understand my own feelings, just that I was both sad and mad that I wasn’t more sad, which is a strange way to feel.

What I did know was how weird it felt to just keep going on with the daily grind of life, knowing Willie was in a facility, in terrible pain and facing down his last days. Lyla and Seth came, and we practiced, talking about the upcoming audition, and for them it was just another day. I went to school the next day, and everyone was just like they were the day before.

My world was shifting, and yet everything else was the same. Worse, everyone still expected me to be the same. They didn’t know Willie, and I still had obligations.

One of those obligations was school, for which I still needed to stay focused on getting my grades up, so Dr. Wallace would allow me to go to the audition. Thankfully, I’d made a little progress in that area.

On Friday, I was just starting to get my books together in history class when Mr. Jensen stopped at my desk and said, “Hold up a second, Charlie.”

This time, I wasn’t worried. I’d turned all of my homework in and I felt good about the test retake I’d done on Monday, so unless I’d dropped the ball somewhere else, I wasn’t worried about being called out for bad work this time.

“What’s up?” I asked as the last kids filed out of the classroom.

“I graded your test,” Mr. Jensen said, setting a paper down on the desk and sliding it toward me.

I looked down and saw the big seventy-six circled at the top in red ink. Considering the max score on this test was eighty, since it was a retake, a seventy-six was actually a really good score.

“Awesome,” I said, looking back up at Mr. Jensen.

He gave me an approving nod. “You got thirty-seven out of forty questions correct. Definitely better than last time, so it looks like you’ve buckled down and put in the work.”

Although I’d felt like I’d done better than that, it was still a better result than I’d actually been expecting. Had this not been a retest, I would have gotten an A on the test.

“Yeah,” I said. “I started working with the tutor I had sophomore year, and she set me up with a study schedule that really helped. If I stick to it, I shouldn’t have any more forty-sevens.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mr. Jensen said, giving me an approving nod. “I’m happy to see the improvement. The new principal is asking after you, so I’m guessing you’re under a lot of pressure, but if you keep up with it, I think you’re going to do well this year.”

“I think he’s just trying to keep any of the problems that happened last year from spilling over into this year, so he’s been checking up on me,” I explained. “I also asked to miss some days later in the year, and Dr. Wallace made a point that I’d only be allowed to take them off if I got my grades up.”

“I see,” he said. “Whatever the reason, I’m happy to see you didn’t let the extra scrutiny distract you from what you needed to do. Like I said before, you’ve got a lot of potential, Charlie. I’d hate to see you fall short of it. Just stay focused, put in the work, and you’ll be all right.”

“I will,” I said.

“If he does let you miss school, make sure you tell me and your other teachers what days you’re going to be out. I don’t want you to fall behind, so if I need to get a packet of what we’re covering on those days to you, so you can keep up with your studies, I’d be happy to do that. I know your other teachers probably feel the same.”

“Right now, it’s just the Monday after next. If things go well there, then it’ll be about a week and a half in November.”

“Are you having some kind of procedure?” he asked, actually sounding concerned.

“No, I’m auditioning for the show The Stage, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. If I make it through the audition, they film the pre-taped portion of the show in November, which I’ll have to go out to California for.”

“That’s the singing competition show, right?”

“Yep.”

“Wow, that’s impressive, although I shouldn’t be surprised. I’d heard you played at the Blue Ridge on weekends, so I went by on Sunday and caught your show, and I was really impressed. I knew there was talk of you being a musician, but I didn’t realize you were that good.”

“Thanks.”

“I think you have a real gift, Charlie, and you’re going to go far in life. Which is why I want you to succeed here so much. Don’t let the missed classes slow you down. Do the work, the work you’re capable of, so it doesn’t keep you from what you’re destined for.”

“I will,” I said.

“Good. Pack up and get to class,” he said, rapping his knuckles on the desk.

***

Sunday, I was back at the kitchen table, working on more of the assignments Kat had sent me. Things were going better in school, but only because I was back to being on top of my studies, following her instructions. Thankfully, I hadn’t let things go too far before I’d gotten the warning about my grades, so there wasn’t that much that needed to be done to get my grades at least out of the failing zone. I still had work to do to get them up to B’s and A’s, but it was a start.

Kat, for her part, had made it clear she wasn’t going to let me fall behind again. That’s what I assumed she was doing when I saw her name on my caller ID.

“I’m working on the new study sheet right now,” I said when I answered. “I said I’d have it done before I went to train with Chef today, and I will.”

“I know who Hanna’s dating,” Kat blurted out, not responding to what I’d said.

It had been somewhat of a mystery. We knew she was dating someone new, but she’d been actively trying to hide not only the person’s identity from us, but also the fact that she was dating anyone at all. The few times we asked her, after overhearing her talking on the phone at Kat’s swim trials, she claimed she wasn’t seeing anyone and that we’d misheard the phone calls.

I hadn’t believed that for a second and just assumed this was backlash from the whole Troy thing. Since that had gone so poorly, she didn’t want to discuss whoever this new guy was with us, which explained the almost breathless way Kat declared she’d discovered his identity.

“Who? I’m assuming it’s someone at school,” I said.

“It’s Professor Cross,” Kat said.

Part of me was completely shocked by the news. He was her business professor and had become more or less a mentor to her. Any relationship between the two of them would be wildly inappropriate and could cost both Hanna her spot at the school and the professor his job. On the other hand, it explained a lot. The sudden internship and research opportunity she’d gotten for the summer at the school, for example. I didn’t know a lot about how those things worked, but it seemed somewhat unlikely that a freshman would be given a spot like that, especially working directly for the head of the business marketing department, or whatever his actual title was.

All of that might have tumbled through my head, but all that managed to come out of my mouth was, “You’re kidding.”

“Dead serious,” Kat said. “My seminar got canceled today, so I headed back to the dorm early. When I walked into our room, Hanna was there kissing him! As soon as I opened the door, he hurried out, looking all flustered, mumbling something about meeting with her later, like I didn’t see what I saw.”

“What did Hanna say?” I asked.

“She begged me to not tell anyone. She told me no one can know about it, and then she ran out of the room. I waited a while for her to come back, thinking she might have run to the bathroom, but that was an hour ago and she hasn’t come back yet.”

“This is really bad,” I said. “He’s got all of the control of the situation. Not only is he her mentor and teacher, he could get her kicked out of school if he wanted; and he could hold that over her head. This is even worse than Troy.”

“I know,” Kat replied, sounding equally upset. “I tried to explain that, but she just kept saying it was fine and begging me not to say anything.”

“But he’s taking advantage of her. She basically missed the entire summer because she was up there doing ‘research.’ If she was actually doing a real internship, that would have been great, but it’s not worth it for this. I mean, even if she was doing real work, once this comes out, it all gets discredited and she’s just his latest conquest.”

“It’s even worse than that,” Kat said. “I’m almost positive Professor Cross is married. When Hanna first started working with him, she mentioned meeting his wife at some department function.”

“Which gives him even more reason to ruin her if he thinks their relationship is going to come out. What if he starts saying she’s some kind of love-sick kid or whatever, and making it his word against hers? It’s not like the school’s going to side against one of their most celebrated professors in favor of an undergrad.”

“I just don’t know what she’s thinking,” Kat said.

“She isn’t,” I said. Man, I thought she’d learned her lesson from the Troy thing. Instead, she’s doubled down on bad decisions. “We have to talk her into getting out of this. Finding some way of getting away from him that doesn’t lead to his burning her. I mean, it’s not like there’s going to be a future for them. He’s married!”

“Do you think he’s told her he’s leaving his wife or something?”

“Who knows? Maybe, not that it matters. Someone who can do something like this, odds are she isn’t the first one he’s seduced. I’d like to say I thought she had more sense than this … but man.”

“So, what do we do?” Kat asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think … you need to keep talking to her, make her talk to you. Don’t let her shut you out or brush you off. She has to understand how bad this is before it all blows up in her face.”

“I’ll do my best. But you know how she gets when she thinks she’s right.”

She wasn’t wrong. Hanna could be insanely difficult when it came to hearing about the mistakes she made, especially around her love life.

“I know, and you can’t just go at her. Just … I don’t know, try and make it clear that this is a mistake without lecturing her. I’ll call … no, I won’t call. She’ll just hang up. I’ll try and come up next weekend and talk to her in person. She probably won’t listen, but I have to give it a shot. If she can just slow things down with him and get out while things are good, he’ll probably let it go. If she waits until they have a fight, or his wife finds out, it can only end badly. And it will end badly for her.”

“Yeah,” Kat said softly. “I’ll do my best.”

“Okay. If she gets mad, just back off and try again later. It took us months to convince her to drop Troy, and they only dated a little while. She and Professor Cross may have been dating for months, maybe since some time last spring. And she looks up to him, so this is going to be even harder. Just … remember you live with her now. Don’t make your world miserable trying to convince her she’s wrong when she’s not ready to listen. That will just hurt everyone.”

“Okay,” Kat said, sighing. “I don’t know if I have it in me to go through this again.”

“I know. If it’s too much, just back off.”

“Should we tell her mom?”

“Not yet. You’re the only one who knows. Hanna’s got to assume you’ll tell me, but she’ll be pissed if you go beyond that. If someone has to talk to her mom, let it be me. Let me take the heat.”

“I don’t want to …”

“Kat, I’m serious. Let me take the heat,” I said in a stern tone.

For a second, I thought she might argue with me, but then she said, “Okay.”

“Good.”

“I should let you get back to your studying. You have less than an hour till you’re supposed to be at the Blue Ridge, and I want you to finish that sheet so you’re ready for class on Monday.”

“I will,” I said.

“Good. I love you, Charlie.”

“I love you, too.”