lapinbeau

Billing paused. Mental State

Added 2025-07-21 09:57:32 +0000 UTC

Look people, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I've been feeling... emotionally dead lately. I've had little desire, little drive to actually create, because lately everything I do feels pointless and tedious. I don't know if it's a psychological defense mechanism to numb myself to the world events, or if I'm in a rut, or if it's an ambient worry that everyone I love will soon die of old age... but I just haven't been... "feeling it." Nothing brings me any real enjoyment, nothing.

I'm pausing the billing again. I can't take your money for nothing.

Ugh... I don't know. Everything just feels bleak and stagnant right now. I'd LIKE to get a mentor to help me improve, but I don't even know where to begin looking for something like that. The artists I admire most don't have time for it, and others just aren't the types of artists I wish to emulate.

I'm gonna try to take this month to figure out how to re-awaken my desire to create, maybe find someone willing to teach me new things.