D&D Court Submissions!
Added 2025-06-04 14:00:13 +0000 UTCGreetings, table top denizens! The Supreme Crit is hungry, and we feed upon your drama & disputes!
Please submit a BRIEF description of the quarrel that shook the fabric of your TTRPG tablecloth, and we will provide our swiftest judgment! And slightly suspect sentences.
Romance gone wrong, spells denied, irritating homebrew, naughty rogues, power mad dm's, regrettable snacks, lurking cousins... nothing is off the table!
<3 to all your frustrated & foible-ridden parties,
Bailiff Emily
Comments
Simple! The bodies rot in the bag of holding and become an awfully smelling sludge, ruining most of the contents. It’s not a fridge, it’s a bag.
Ingrid Rossi
2025-06-22 00:17:03 +0000 UTCPOTENTIAL CONFESSION/CRIME OR FAIR PLAY?! I have a unique situation and it doesn’t fit in court or confession as I have not gone through with it yet and I’m looking to the NADPOD crew to tell me if I should continue with my plan or not. A group of life-long friends of mine get together every couple of weeks on Discord and play DnD. I alternate with another player on DM duties so our characters are basically guest stars in each others arcs and don’t continue onto other mini arcs. For my next mini arc I will be taking the party to a riverboat casino run by bullywugs. The party will have 3 objectives: 1) steal the ‘Astral Eye’ and bring it back to HQ 2) Assassinate the bullywug chief 3) Recruit Ruzzo the bullywug, a down on his luck dealer, and bring him back to HQ so he can help the cause and set up a black market. Ruzzo will be played by my friend Blake, the other DM. I want Ruzzo to have the backstory that he is a good guy but will backstab you if it fits his goals. To add an extra layer to this I will be sending Blake a private message, SAW style with the doll on a bike and creepy voice. In this message I will offer him 5 REAL DOLLARS to help the party until the last moment and backstab them, leading to a final battle between the party and Ruzzo (ill balance it somehow). I feel like $5 is not enough to actually entice him to backstab his long time friends…but it is enough for a cup of coffee on his way to work. If I don’t offer the money I feel like he won’t attempt the backstab. Am I ruining the sprint of DnD by bribing my fellow DM or is this an interesting social experiment and no real harm no real foul? I await your ruling and will most likely respectfully ignore it and offer him $10, thank you.
Chuck P
2025-06-17 14:51:15 +0000 UTCTo The Hot and Moist Crit Justices, and very hunky bailiff, I present the case of the hoarder of heads. Im a new DM and one of my players got access to a bag of holding because I did not want to restrict the party to just what they can carry. The 10 foot tall Dragonborn Paladin decides its a beautiful idea to start collecting bodies of literally every enemy he kills. He had 10 goblin bodies, a mimic corpse, multiple drow heads, and the entire body of topher the tiefling before I decided to look into the rules of the bag. I said that because I learned the bag is 2 feet in diameter, he wasn't able to even fit the bodies in to begin with, but I really just want him to stop collecting bodies cause its weird and I hate it. Should I be punished for crushing the dreams of a mass body collecting paladin, or should he be punished for now suggesting to chop off each head of the bodies so he can fit them in the bag now. Stay effin jazzy!
bagofchips123
2025-06-14 23:50:41 +0000 UTCMay it please the Court and gently caress the Bailiff (with consent, obviously). Your Honors, I bring before you a case of theoretical violence, mechanical ambition, and a very small child trying to break the action economy. My party is a delightful chaos cocktail: • A skeleton Chronurgy wizard • A disgraced orc noble • A drag queen ranger • And the center of this case: a literal child whose imaginary friend has become real via Echo Knight magic This Echo Knight has recently acquired the following: • Polearm Master • Sentinel • The Sap Weapon Mastery (not important, but for sake of completion) (“When you hit a creature with this weapon, that creature has disadvantage on its next attack roll before the start of your next turn”) And the Tunnel Fighter fighting style (via Unearthed Arcana), which says: “As a bonus action, you enter a defensive stance that lasts until the start of your next turn. While in this stance, you can make opportunity attacks without using your reaction.” The player asked: “If I walk in and out of an enemy’s reach on my turn—since I have reach and Tunnel Fighter—can I trigger unlimited opportunity attacks? My echo and I could just yo-yo back and forth and stab forever.” I replied: “No, that’s not how it works. Opportunity attacks are triggered when a hostile creature moves out of your reach, not the other way around.” There was only a little back and forth, but no real argument. While I love a good rule, I simply cannot knock the hustle. The rest of the session went without a hitch! …Until I remembered I’m also a law student and started second-guessing the interpretation of every word in that rule like it was an exam prompt. So now I lay this at your feet, Dungeon Court: Did I shut down a beautiful act of creative rules-lawyering too soon? Or did I correctly prevent a tiny Echo Knight from becoming a sentient blender of endless Sap attacks?
Zoe Glepa
2025-06-05 23:12:22 +0000 UTCTo the Honorable Supreme Crit and the bathykolpian Bailiff. I bring to you the case of ME vs the Public (DND Community). One as common as cambions and combustion - and equally demonic. My problem: I have searched high and low for a game. From online engagements to the dusty corners of a forgotten games shop. However, I simply cannot find a long-term group. The background. My experience is limited - I have only played one proper campaign in my life and that was more than a decade ago. However, my knowledge is deep. As a 38-year-old (meaning the prime of life), I have followed DND lore since the days of increased rest times to memorize higher level spells. However, each time I join a game (usually as a devilishly charistmatic rogue with a penchant for pickpocketing), I am not invited back. Often, they offer polite excuses such as "we appreciate your ambition as a player, but have decided to go with another candidate. Please keep looking at our game postings for future opportunities". So I put it to the court - has the real world "Experience Paradox" - where someone must HAVE experience in order to GAIN experience - leaked into our majestic fantasy world? Or am I a problem player? Should I stop trying to steal gold from my fellow party people in session 1? Or is it a case of the DND public being too prude? What is the best way to find your long-term group? Sincerely, A really really sad and lonely rogue
T B
2025-06-05 22:46:43 +0000 UTC
