ScottyArtz

Chapter 1: Pages 43-51 (what's at stake?)

Added 2024-04-08 20:56:21 +0000 UTC

Ray and Jak's talk was one of the hardest scenes to rewrite despite being so similar to the old version. Like I've said before, the themes of the story had to be tweaked for this version of Ray, who's responsible and thinks things through. Which means, Jak's talk had to different. Originally, Jak was reminding Ray of the good he's done. In this version, this is still the case but more subtle and more in Character for Jak with his blunt nature. Unlike the first version, if Ray is already responsible, and punctual, his flaw can't be that. So I focused more on his pride, and I think that's exactly what we all have to face when we find identity in something we're good at. Pride can prevent you from being honest. And from a Christian perspective, keeps you from pleasing God, lol.

Moving on to the Port Town Gang train scene, it's chain of events is slightly different since there was no gym plot. Everything takes place on the train this time except for half of the interaction happening at the mall, simplifying the scene. I do miss Halberd and Morales' dialogue on the train, but alas, I couldn't fit it with the new direction. Tang gets bodied this time instead of Wasp since Wasp already got bodied earlier, and this time by Gwen instead of Khali. But alas, just like last time, Halberd, and Boony remain for the final show down against Ray. And I can't wait to redraw the scene that I'm still very pleased with.

16 pages left. Im gonna lock in for real this time. I don't wanna spend another month of sketching LOL.