Okay it’s Nintendo time! We’re gonna see some Nintendo Games, right? Real games? New games? Real new games, made by Nintendo? Surely it’s not a trick to make me watch a bunch of bullshit. Spoiler: It’s a damn trick.
Where the Hell is Donkey Kong? Where are Peach and Samus and Slippy Goddamn Toad? Not here, not today, not in the so-called Nintendo Games show. They’re off being fun and cool, somewhere else.
Instead we’ve got a bunch of re-releases of remakes of old Yakuza games, numerous classic collections, and about a thousand dumb anime games for 12 year olds. Be still, my shitting ass.