Midnight Pals: Revenge

Dickens: okay listen up, you grinches, i'm about to melt your icy hearts with another tale of yuletide joy
Dickens: it's called the mother's eyes
Dickens: it's about this guy who murders a guy cuz he has a weird eye
Poe:
Dickens: and then his guilty conscience causes him to go insane
Poe:

Dickens: i know what you're thinking
Dickens: 'Charles, how did you come up with such an original concept?'
Poe: that's not what i was
Barker: YEAH
Barker: that's exactly what i was wondering
Barker: tell us more, chuck

Dickens: here's another jolly Christmas story for you
Dickens: i call this the story of mugby junction
Dickens: it's about a stupid dumb waitress who can't recognize a cool esteemed author when she sees one
Poe:
Koontz:
Barker:
King:
Lovecraft:

Poe: um
Poe: is this one based on a personal experience?
Dickens: oh no no no no
Dickens: yes
Dickens: yes it is
Dickens: i mean, c'mon!
Dickens: what kind of stupid waitress can't recognize Charles fuckin' dickens when she sees him?
Dickens: i made her childhood magical, damnit!!

Dickens: anyway, this stupid dumbass waitress is so stupid and dumb that she makes a famous author pay for his coffee
Poe: that's a little petty, don't you think?
Dickens: is it as petty as steve with bryan smith?
King: oh come on
King: that's not fair
King: that guy hit me with a car!
King: all things considered, he got off light

Dickens: got off light???
Dickens: you wrote him as a drunk idiot!
King: not drunk
King: he was high!
Dickens:
King: there's a difference!

King: look, if that waitress hit you with a car, then i could understand the animus
King: but all things considered, she didn't do anything wrong
Dickens: didn't do anything wrong?
Dickens: are you joking?
Dickens: she failed to recognize me!
Dickens: me, Charles dickens!
Dickens: the man who made Christmas magical!

Dickens: i thought i would get a little more sympathy around here
JK Rowling: i totally get where you're coming from, charlessss
Dickens: finally! someone gets it!
Rowling: like, thisss one time, thessse kidsss were being very rude to me on twitter
Dickens: yeah, i don't know what that is
King: it's like Friendster but for nazis
Dickens: oh ok then
Barker: wait hold the phone how do you know what Friendster is

Larry Niven: Charles is right
Niven: if you can't get revenge on your enemies in your writing, what's even the point of writing?
Niven: for example, in my story, i had my archnemesis kurt Vonnegut burning in hell
Niven: for being against the Vietnam war
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Niven: NOW WHO'S LAUGHING, KURT???