Midnight Pals: Another Forever War

[white house]
Trump: so we're bombing venezuela now
Trump: no reason, really, just because
Trump: we just had all these bombs lying around
Trump: and we thought
Trump: why not
JD Vance: masterful gambit, sir

Larry Niven: MR PRESIDENT, MR PRESIDENT!
Niven: we heard the news and we came as fast as we could
Trump: who's this
Niven: we are
Niven: SIGMA
narrator: SIGMA is the secret code name for a think tank of costumed science fiction writers dedicated to advising the president on matters of their expertise (see issue #43 - ed)

Niven: of course
Niven: for security purposes, we have to keep our identities hidden
Greg Bear: I'm Greg Bear
Niven:
Niven: really, greg???
Niven: every freakin' time

Bear: i'm greg bear
Elizabeth Moon: lay off him, he's trying!
Niven: get this guy out of the room before i--!!
Bear: i'm greg bear
Moon: c'mon, greg, let's go wait in the hall

Niven: mr president, we heard you were thinking of starting a war with venezuela
Niven: for freedom, right?
Trump: no, oil
Niven:
Niven: i mean, yeah, i know, but
Niven: you're not supposed to say it
Trump: who are you again

Niven: let me tell you, i am all for this war
Niven: i have a spotless reputation of war endorsement
Niven: you might remember a little war called Vietnam?
Niven: well, i was for that

Trump: i don't remember Vietnam
Niven:
Niven: well, i was for it
Niven: and i think history has vindicated me on that front

Niven: anyway, SIGMA has plenty of members who specialize in military sci fi
Niven: we could advise you on how to do regime change
Trump: no we already did it
Niven: you did it?
Trump: yeah
Trump: 20 minutes ago

Niven: now there's more than one way to do regime change
Niven: but it is as intricate and precise as a well-played game of chess-
Trump: we already kidnapped the president
Niven:

Niven: you did what
Trump: yeah we kidnapped the president of Venezuela
Trump: "kidnapping"
Trump: an old word but a beautiful one!

Niven: you kidnapped the president of venezuela?
Trump: yeah and his wife
Niven: and his wife?
Trump: very rude woman
Trump: ugly too
JD Vance: haha yeah boss she sure was!
Trump: shut up
Vance: sure thing, right away boss!

Pete Hegseth: [lurching drunkenly into office] Mr President, we need to bomb caracas to secure the future of the white race
Hegseth: America has bombed korea, Iraq and Afghanistan
Hegseth: and by gum it put them on the map!
Hegseth: [violently vomits]

Trump: don't puke too hard pal, you'll tear your face lift
Vance: hahaha good one boss!
Trump: shut up
Vance: right away boss!!! shutting up right now, boss!!!

Niven: okay but mr president
Niven: surely you need us to advise you on your next step
Niven: for example, a lot of Venezuelans were probably injured and maimed in those indiscriminate bombings
Niven: what if we spread a rumor about organ traffikers to keep them out of hospitals?
Niven: eh? eh?
Niven: that one never goes out of style!