Midnight Pals: Black Mold

[scottish castle]
JK Rowling: ugh! i'm tired of all thesssse people online making fun of my black mold!
Rowling: that'sss it!
Rowling: today isss the day that i do sssomething about it

Rowling: wormtongue! i call you to me!
John Boyne: yes your evilness, right away your rottenness!
Rowling: ah perfect
Rowling: ssee this is what i like about you wormtongue
Rowling: you're sso resspectful

Rowling: not like that other wormtongue i used to have
Rowling: it turned out that we weren't sseeing eye to eye
Rowling: in fact the only thing that we really had in common was being britissh

Rowling: that relationsship was doomed to fail from the sstart
Rowling: i mean, who even rememberss back when i was trying to make it work with philip pullman
Rowling: that's a deep cut for all you real headss

Rowling: wormtongue, we are going to do sssomething about this black mold
Boyne: what will you do your awfulness?
Rowling: i'm going to ssue every sssingle perssson on the internet

Boyne: dark lord far be if for me to offer a humble suggestion
Boyne: might it not be easier to clean up the black mold
Rowling: how dare you sspeak to me like this, wormtongue
Rowling: thisss isss missogyny
Rowling: you will hear from my lawyer!!!
Rowling: and yet

Rowling: hmmm
Rowling: could it be that cleaning up the black mold would be the perfect sssolution?
Rowling: delightfully devilish, joanne!

Boyne: master, i got an estimate from the fumigators
Boyne: it's going to cost 100,000 pounds to get rid of the black mold
Boyne: pounds presumably being the kind of money we use here in england

Allison Bailey: hello jk rowling it's me, your lawyer
Bailey: bad news! i just lost that court case that i won
Rowling:
Bailey: and you know when i appealed the case that i won?
Rowling:
Bailey: well, i won that too
Bailey: but in a different, more accurate way i actually lost

Bailey: so basically what i'm saying is, i'm going to need another 100,000 pounds to continue my tradition of highly effective legal work

Rowling: where am i supposed to find 100,000 pounds??
Rowling: in my couch cushions?
Rowling: oh actually yeah it is here, never mind

Rowling: i guess it comes to this
Rowling: either fumigate the house or fund transssphobia
Rowling: what a sssophie's choice!
Boyne: it's just like in end of the boy in the striped pajamas
Boyne: [whispers] a fable

Rowling: ok allison i've made my decision
Rowling: in the interest of making life worse for trans people, i will forego fumigating the black mold this year and instead give you the 100,000 pounds
Rowling: be sure to spend it wisely
Bailey: oh i will, i will

Bailey: don't worry, jk
Bailey: every penny of this will go to legitimate legal expenses
Rowling:
Rowling: what'ss in that briefcassse
Bailey: oh nothing nothing
Bailey: just uh legal documents and
Bailey: and uh
Bailey: stuff
Rowling: