Midnight Pals: Swamp

Elizabeth Broadbent: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of ink vine
Broadbent: what if there was a magical lesbian
Broadbent: in the swamp
Edward Lee: bro
Lee: bro
Lee: i want to know more about this swamp lesbian
Patricia Highsmith: i too would like to know about this swamp lesbian

Broadbent: there's all sorts of mysterious things in a southern swamp
Broadbent: it's a spooky place where a strange lesbian might eat you if you wander past the dogwoods

Broadbent: so there's this girl
Broadbent: she's all 'i'm a bisexual'
Broadbent: 'i like boys and girls but girls slightly more'
Broadbent: and she's the only bisexual in her shitty little hillbilly swamp town
Broadbent: it's a lonely life
Broadbent: forced to sit on counters kind of weirdly all by herself

Broadbent: now her mama's always warning her don't go in the swamp
Broadbent: cuz it's dangerous, that swamp
Broadbent: but then one day
Broadbent: guess what she does?

Broadbent: she's going deep into that swamp
Broadbent: that wet messy ooey gooey musky soppy swamp
Broadbent: deeper and deeper into the sucking slurping sopping muck
Broadbent: burrowing under the spongy moss, sliding into the sloppy dark water
Broadbent: shes got water in her crevasses

Broadbent: she goes into the swamp
Broadbent: and she meets the swamp lesbian
Broadbent: her mama's always saying don't go in the swamp
Broadbent: but she's all try to understand mama
Broadbent: try try try to understand
Broadbent: she's a magic lesbian

Broadbent: but then after meeting the swamp lesbian
Broadbent: suddenly these weird tattoos appear on her body
Broadbent: like a vine around her legs
Broadbent: a vine with a real mind of its own

Broadbent: 'oh no' she thinks 'how will i, a girl who likes both boys and girls but girls slightly more, explain this mysterious tattoo to my close-minded town?'
Broadbent: 'and also my bisexuality'
Broadbent: 'how will i explain that'

Broadbent: anyway spoiler
Broadbent: turns out these close-minded podunk townees are more accepting of one thing than the other
Broadbent: so now she's got no choice
Broadbent: but to fuck shit up
Mary Shelley: yeah YEAH

Shelley: now we're talkin!
Shelley: fuckin' fuck shit up!
Shelley: breakin the law! breakin the law!
King: wow mary you really like this bisexual disaster fucking shit up
Shelley: she's very relatable