Midnight Pals: Dogs 2

Dodie Smith: i've got another story about pongo and missus
King: ah do the dogs go on another fun adventure?
Smith: no this time aliens put all humans to sleep and give dogs psychic powers
King:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Poe:
Koontz: WOWWWW
Koontz: BEST STORY EVER!

Smith: ok so all humans are catatonic now and there's only psychic dogs
Smith: and the dogs think 'oh i bet cruella de vil is behind this'
Smith: 'we should go murder her'
Smith: 'like, we should just go fucking murder her'
Smith: 'put a fuckin bullet in her head'

Smith: but the dogs find out that cruella de vil isn't actually behind it
Smith: so that puts a crimp in their plan to murder her
Smith: then sirius the dog star comes to earth
Smith: like the literal star

Smith: you know, he has the super power to appear as any dog breed
Koontz: [sullenly] i wish i had that power
Frank Belknap Long: dean remind me to talk to you after the story's done
Koontz: no i don't want a fursuit, i want to do it for real!!

Smith: so sirius the dog star is all 'god i'm so lonely, i wish i had a dog'
Smith: 'i wish i had ALL the dogs'
Smith: 'would you dogs like to come live with me in space'
Smith: 'like where laika lives'
Smith: 'in a big nebula with a lot of space to run around'

Smith: so sirius is all 'dogs of earth, would you like to come live with me in space'
Smith: 'WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE??? WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE???'
Smith: 'WHOS A GOOD BOY??? WHOS A GOOD BOY???'

Smith: sirius is all 'you should all come to space and live with me in space'
Smith: 'you'll know true bliss in space'
Smith: 'and also you'll avoid complete eradication in nuclear apocalyse'
Smith: 'cuz, oh yeah, that's gonna happen btw'

Smith: if they choose to go to space
Smith: then all memory of dogs on earth will be erased
Koontz: no
Smith: no one will remember that dogs ever existed
Koontz: NO!
Smith: it will be as if earth was always a dog-free planet
Koontz: NOOO!!!!!!

Smith: now the dogs of earth have to make a weighty decision
Smith: will they go to space or will they stay loyal to their masters?
Koontz: oh god oh god
Koontz: please say they stay!!
Smith: so the dogs decide...
Koontz: yeah?? yeah???

Smith: the dogs decide...
Koontz: WHAT DO THEY DECIDE!?!?!?
Koontz: I NEED TO KNOW!!!
Smith: the dogs decide...
Koontz: AUGHHHH!!!!!

Smith: the dogs decide to stay on earth because, even though earth is imperfect, it carries the promise that maybe, someday, every good dog can find a home
Koontz: b-but they're ALL good dogs!
Smith: exactly
Koontz:
Koontz: whoaaaaaa

King: wow uh
King: that's some story
King: not what i expected
Barker: oh that's british kids lit for you
Barker: it's all bonkers
Roald Dahl: ee hee hee
Barker: i mean
Barker there ya go
Barker: case in point

King: really? all of it
Barker: oh yeah trust me
[meanwhile]
Beatrix Potter: my story is mr thumpybunny minds the shop
Enid Blyton: my story is Giggles the happy gnome runs afoul of an irishman
JK Rowling:
Rowling: you know what i'm going to sssay