Midnight Pals: Hugo Drama

Hugo Gernsback: hey everyone its me, hugo gernsback
Gernsback: editor of Amazing Stories and namesake of the hugo awards
Gernsback: perhaps you've heard of them?
Clive Barker: oh buddy
Barker: buddy
Barker: we've heard all about them ha ha

Stephen King: they're named after you? i thought they were named after victor hugo Gernsback: ha ha a common mistake
Gernsback: but that's fine
Gernsback: i'm not mad at all that victor hugo keeps getting the credit
Gernsback: i think its funny
Gernsback: in fact i'm laughing

Gernsback: ah yes my precious hugo awards!
Gernsback: the most prestigious award in science fiction and fantasy!
Gernsback: a place for serious business
Gernsback: certainly no room for shenanigans here
Gernsback: no room for tomfoolery
Gernsback: no room for clownish buffoonery

Gernsback: The Hugo -- an award whose very name rings with integrity & honor!  
Gernsback: it is no mere nebula! no paltry clarke!
Gernback: the stoker, the howard, the lambda - none can compare!
Gernsback: the L Ron hubbard writers of the future award? pah! dust before the hugo!

Gernsback: only the choicest cuts of science fiction and fantasy would ever achieve the lofty hugo award
Gernsback: an award forever untainted by shenanigans or hijinks!
Gernsback: now to take a big sip of coffee and read this  file 770 report!

Gernsback: what the--?!
Gernsback: my beautiful hugos!!! tainted by the foul stench of corruption!!!
Clive Barker: yeah boy i bet victor hugo's just sick about it
Gernsback:
Barker: just sick about what they did to his award
Gernsback:
Barker: ha ha
Poe: clive leave him alone

Gernsback: my hugo!!! you were supposed to be a thing of beauty... not this monstrosity!
Dean Koontz: gosh he's so sad about his award
Koontz: do you think it would cheer him up if i gave him my nickelodean kids choice award?
Poe: i think that would be a very nice gesture dean

Chris M Barkley: [thrusting microphone] Mr gernsback! mr gernsback! a statement for the press?
Jason Sanford: [thrusting microphone] how do you respond to the allegations about your award mr gernsback?
Gernsback: confound these intrepid newshounds of the 4th estate!

Gernsback: [wiping brow] don't worry, we will be taking measures to fix this
Barkley: what are you going to do mr gernsback?
Sanford: the people demand an answer mr gernsback!
Gernsback: we'll uh
Gernsback: we'll nominate an essay called 'Dave McCarty Can Fuck Off Into the Sun'

Gernsback: what a debacle! i cannot believe my good name will now forever be associated with such shady practices!
HP Lovecraft: hey when are you gonna pay me for my story you ran?
Gernsback: new phone, who dis?

Gernsback: you know who this really hurts?
Gernsback: worse than the nominees secretly disqualified for politics?
Gernsback: worse than the entirety of Chinese science fiction secretly disqualified for being Chinese?
Gernsback: worse than the winners whose awards are now tainted?

Gernsback: the person that this hurts most of all
Gernsback: is clearly bitter karella
Gernsback: for reasons i can't articulate
Gernsback: everyone should immediately go and heap conciliatory praise on bitter karella
Gernsback: truly the most wronged person of all

Bitter Karella: [bravely holding back tears] no no it's not about me
Bitter Karella: [voice cracking] my only thought is for the hugo community who has been through... so much...
Bitter Karella: [stoically gazing into distance] they're the REAL heroes

Gernsback: look how bitter karella keeps a brave face... for our sake!
King: god bitter karella is so brave... and so modest!
Poe: truly a great goblin
Poe: possibly the greatest
Koontz: why? what did they do?
Poe: dean! show some respect!