RE: Trailer Trash, 64 pt 4

    “The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin~”

    “The water's gettin' warm so you might as well swim~”

    “My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?”

    “That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored~”

    Clarissa wore a deep frown as she listened to Tabitha recite verses, because it felt like she should know this song, but she also knew she’d never heard any of this before. It was catchy, too catchy, the style of words and the cadence they were spoken in felt so specifically Smash Mouth that she knew she was going to pull their Fush Yu Mang album on CD the moment she got home today so that she could triple check that this wasn’t in one of the tracks there.

    The idea that Tabitha was simply making this all up never even crossed her mind, because there was an obvious melody beneath the girl was singing the song to, which although the instruments and beat were unheard themselves, were affecting the pitch and rhythm of the words in a blatant way. Tabitha had a pretty nice voice, but she wasn’t using her own voice, she was mimicking someone else’s singing, and again—it was all a dead ringer for Steve Harwell, the vocalist for Smash Mouth.

    Except… I’ve never heard this song before. I swear I’ve never heard any of this. What the fuck?

* * *

    “Hey now, you're an all star!

    “Get your game on, go, play!

    “Hey now, you're a rock star!

    “Get the show on, get paid!”

    Familiar lyrics tumbled one line after another from Tabitha’s lips and into the air without her ever needing to pause to think or struggle to remember. All Star had been an overplayed meme song she’d heard dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of times—she found herself able to sing it as effortlessly even without it having been one of her ‘favorites’ like the Evanescence tracks were. Similar to the infamous rickroll music Never Gonna Give You Up, time and repetition and the weight of sheer cultural osmosis had etched all of the words to All Star deep across her subconscious.

    Just have to watch that I don’t slip into cycling the ‘don’t stop coming’ part endlessly on repeat, because as funny as THAT is, there is a real genuine danger of accidentally letting myself do that. And, they wouldn’t even understand! Not yet.

    Her cheeks was burning with embarrassment, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the sheer ridiculousness of it all, and every time she caught sight of Alicia or Elena or Clarissa’s serious listening faces the surreal fact that they had never heard ANY of this before became increasingly apparent. Her meta knowledge from the future had never felt so uniquely distinct and surged up past everything else to the very height of her awareness like this. It felt like this whole world was a stage play, but while everyone else was forced to improvise the dialogue for their roles on the spot, Tabitha was being fed all of her lines via teleprompter.

    “All that glitters is gooo~ld!

    “Only shootin' staaars break the mold!”

    The agitation and sinking stress of social confrontations with cheerleaders and seniors was still a sea of acid burbling unpleasantly at the edges of her mind, but striding down the hall at the head of a whole posse buoyed her confidence more than enough to keep her from drowning in her thoughts. In fact, if felt like she was flying high right now. This was that elusive popular feeling she had been chasing, and Tabitha felt she needed to latch onto it with everything she had because these kind of things could slip through ones fingers with a moment of inattention.

    It was far from perfect, of course, Tabitha tried to squash down some of the soaring feelings into something a little more sensible. I’m sure when I’m standing there in the shower later starting to disassociate or laying there in bed unable to sleep I’ll start to dissect every little thing that was said. Second guess how I was starting to mirror their nasty attitude and tone, spend hours trying to work out the best retorts or things I SHOULD have said that would have been just left them with nothing to say.

    For now though, she felt pretty pleased with herself. The fearsome Brittany Taylor and the same two obnoxious cheerleaders had been trying to bully her friends, and it felt like she had arrived before too much damage had been done and even held her own pretty well. Nevermind the fact that Tabitha had already basically had the upper hand and more than enough justifications to stand on, or the fact that for a spur-of-the-moment comeback she had again borrowed against future knowledge simply because it had popped into mind.

    They were halfway to the cafeteria when Tabitha finally finished her rendition of All Star, and there was a brief moment of silence and exchanged looks before Tabitha awkwardly cleared her throat and told them that she was done—that was the whole song.

    “...I liked it?” Alicia regarded her with her dark eyes. “When’s it come out?”

    “It uh, it does kind of sound like Smash Mouth?” Clarissa shrugged. “Somehow?”

    “Except, Tabitha didn’t listen to that kind of music in the first place,” Ashlee snorted. “Yeah, right. I’m the only one here who even KNOWS what music Tabitha likes. She listened to like, Brandy. Shania Twain, Jewel. Natalie Imbruglia, Alanis Morissette. What she wasn’t into was new age punky sorta music like No Doubt or Smashed Mouth or whatever it is that was supposed to be. Duh. I’m the only one who even freaking knew Tabitha.”

    “Ahem, I wouldn’t say I’m into Smash Mouth, per se—” Tabitha chuckled. “But I am like, aware of mega hit music? You have to live under a rock to have never heard some of the super big ones.”

    “It didn’t sound that big,” Elena voiced her skepticism. “What else have they done? Smash Mouth.”

    “Walking on the Sun,” Clarissa said.

    “Besides All Star? Ummm—” Tabitha searched her memory. “I’m a Believer? Ah shoot, wait. That one might not count, I think it was a cover. Their Smash Mouth version was another big hit one, though. Pretty sure they put that in Shrek, too. The first two Shrek movies had just a ton of great music, from what I remember.”

    “Never heard of it,” Ashlee scowled. “Either ‘Shrek’ or ‘I’m a Believer.’ Sounds like church music?”

    “Ehhh, not really?” Tabitha said. “Originally it was, uhhh. Either the Beatles, or maybe the Monkees? The original version was definitely an oldies song, just, Smash Mouth did a cover of it that brought it back.”

    “It’s not a Beatles song,” Elena shook her head. “My mom listens to the Beatles all the time.”

    “Then—I dunno, then?” Tabitha threw up her hands. “‘Shrek’ is a computer animated comedy movie. Like uh, Toy Story. Or, Antz.”

    “So, like Veggie Tales?” Clarissa guessed. “Some um, smaller studio or company or whatever that does computer animated stuff?”

    “Nah, like a huge big one—Dreamworks, I’m pretty sure,” Tabitha said. “Dreamworks is under… Paramount? Maybe? Definitely not Disney, because for most of the first couple Shreks they were poking obvious fun at Disney movies, and in a sorta crass way. Lot of not-so-subtle jabs.”

    “You do realize we can look up all this stuff and tell that you’re lying?” Ashlee said. “You’re not some know it all from the future, and you’re not even Tabitha. You’re a total fake, and at least some people are catching on. Elena—come on, tell them.”

    “It was weird trying to like, mentally connect the Tabby I remember from eighth grade to… well, the way you are now,” Elena admitted. “I don’t think she’s another completely different person or fake or in a disguise or anything, though.”

    “I think it’s like The Parent Trap,” Ashlee said. “Sorta, kinda. Like that. This absolutely is some other girl. She’s literally not even Tabitha. They switched, somehow.”

    “That’d be cool?” Clarissa remarked, trying not to flinch as Ashlee leveled a glare in her direction. “What? It would.”

    “They actually make a remake of The Parent Trap in the future,” Tabitha said. “With Lindsay Lohan.”

    “Uh, that’s not in the future, genius,” Ashlee sneered. “That came out this past year.”

    “Oh,” Tabitha slumped. “Damnit! It really is impossible to keep track of everything.”

    “See?” Ashlee said. “She’s totally lying.”

    “Well, I think she’s from the future,” Alicia spoke up. “She described things I haven’t drawn yet—but they’re like, things I’ve planned to draw.”

    “Alicia was a fellow hometown hero,” Tabitha revealed with a smile. “We put some of her published stuff in the little display when I worked in town hall. Sharon didn’t want the case to be only men—only veterans. My stuff was the stuff which didn’t deserve to be in there, she put my failed paperbacks in there with their stupid goofy goblin covers, and… well. This time through, I’m gonna earn it. Things are gonna be different. In a lot of ways.”

    “Hell yeah—hometown heroes!” Alicia held up a hand.

    “Hometown heroes!” Tabitha laughed, giving her a high five.

    “So, you’re really from the future?” Clarissa asked. “Like for real?”

    “Then, what happened with me?!” Ashlee asked, incredulous. “In the future.”

    “I honestly have no idea,” Tabitha said. “Never saw you again after the whole trampoline thing in my last time through. Probably nothing good? Your sisters warned me to shut up about what happened and stay the fuck away, and, I did. I kept my head down the rest of my life and eked out a miserable, wretched existence wallowing in guilt and regret and stewing in my own absolute inadequacy. I made one single real close friend in all of the time after that, and she wound up killing herself. And, I never got over it. Maybe never will!”

    “Julie?” Elena guessed.

    “Julie, yeah,” Tabitha sighed. “She’s not even born yet.”

    “That’s uh—” Clarissa tried to find the words. “That’s a lot to take in? Hah… so, everything you’re doing is all to like, try to rewrite history?”

    “Yeah, basically,” Tabitha said. “It’s a work in progress.”

    “Shopping malls all go under!” Alicia said. “Portable payphones get super popular. People crash big airplane liners into the empire state building.”

    “It’s the twin towers,” Tabitha corrected. “The world trade center buildings. And, we can still prevent that! Maybe. Somehow.”

    “Like, accidentally, or crash them intentionally?” Clarissa was bewildered. “Why would you—”

    “Are there hoverboards?” Ashlee snorted in disbelief. “Let me guess, there’s teleporters and phasers and—”

    “You know what, there are hoverboards!” Tabitha threw her hands up in exasperation. “But, guess what?! They didn’t hover. They don’t even hover. They had freakin’ wheels. They were just these incredibly stupid sort of sideways skateboard thingies you stand on, with little built-in motors, or whatever. Like a Segway, but without the handlebars.”

    “They don’t even hover?!” Alicia exclaimed. “What the hell?!”

    “The hell’s a Segway?” Elena asked.

    “Yeah. So,” Tabitha said. “The first rule of the future? Is that the future will almost always disappoint you. Elena, Segways are… I guess also not out, yet. You’ll know when they are! And then, hoverboards are like a more obnoxious version of the Segway? You’ll see. They’re both those sort of hipster intentionally conspicuous expensive unnecessary show-off locomotion thing.”

    “I want a hoverboard,” Alicia said. “But, it has to actually hover. Otherwise—what’s the point?”

    “Why would they call it a hoverboard, if they don’t really hover?” Elena asked.

    “Presumably, because it sounds better than ‘self-balancing gyroscopic smart balance wheel system’ or whatever the heck its real name is,” Tabitha said with a sigh. “So, it’s because ‘hoverboard’ seems cooler and more futuristic, or sells better.”

    “False advertising!” Alicia booed. “Lame.”

    “You’ll see a lot of that, in the future,” Tabitha admitted. “Don’t even get me started on ‘Unlimited’ service plans that are in fact extremely limited, and by hard, well-defined data caps—after which your service will be completely throttled down to nothing.”

    “Is there anything cool in the future, then?” Clarissa asked.

    “Oh yeah, there’s anime and manga?” Tabitha said. “Lots of great stuff coming out, there. Superhero movies get big? Almost all technology miniaturizes like crazy. Gigabytes and terabytes, instead of kilobytes and megabytes. There’s holograms starting in like, thirtyish years from now? That’re okay. Social Media… well, isn’t great, but it has its same pros and cons just like the TV of this era does. It is what it is! Lots of entertainment, at least. Can’t go without your daily bread and circuses, no sir.”

    “No malls though, so I’ll pass,” Elena rolled her eyes. “Sorry.”

    “They go out gradually!” Tabitha laughed. “We’ve been through this already. Malls are cool, but online shopping is more convenient and cheaper. That’s just the way things go.”

    “Uhh, do I invest in oil or silver or something and get crazy rich?” Clarissa gave them an uncertain laugh, unsure of how seriously to take all of this. “Beanie babies?”

    “Right now? Probably dot coms,” Tabitha looked her way. “Contact the registrar however you do, and try to buy up all of the domain names for the internet you can, those’ll be worth a bunch. Was meaning to look into that real soon for a couple certain things.”

    “Like, the world wide web?” Clarissa asked. “How do you even buy dot coms?”

    “I honestly have no idea, and to my intense frustration, it isn’t something I can just Google.”

    “Oh don’t even get her started on Googly and Googling!” Alicia burst into laughter. “Google, badoogle, magoogly!”

    “‘Google’ does already have a web page, at least,” Elena conceded. “But, that doesn’t mean—”

    “This is all retarded and made up,” Ashlee concluded, making a disgusted face. “Come on. None of you can tell me you believe any of that. Seriously.”

    “I don’t… but I really do think Tabitha does,” Elena said. “Alicia’s just having fun with it.”

    “No way,” Alicia teased. “I’m a believer.”

    “And then I saw her face~” Tabitha sang. “Now I'm a believer~”

    “And not a trace~”

    “Of doubt in my mind~!”

     “Okay wait, now that you sing it I do recognize that one!” Alicia raised her hand up for another high five. “I’ve totally heard that before. No clue where, but yeah, for sure.”

    “I think it’s the Beatles.”

    “No, it’s definitely not the Beatles.”

    “Th-that’s super weird,” Clarissa pointed out. “Like, yeah I think I’ve heard that song too, but… you sang it like Smash Mouth would have, if they did that one. And, I know they didn’t. I literally have Fush Yu Mang at home.”

    “Fush Yu Mang?” Elena asked, turning towards Tabitha for explanation.

    “I’ve never heard of it,” Tabitha admitted. “I’ve heard of Fushigi Yuugi?”

    “No, that’s—wait, what?”

    “What?”

    “What?!”

    “What??”

    “Fooshery Wooshery?!” Alicia was doubled over with laughter. “What the hell?! I—I can’t! I can’t even—!”

    “What are we even talking about?” Ashlee growled. “I’ve never heard of any of that.”

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/// Another RE:TT section to finish chapter 64 in the next day or two. Yes, Clarissa and Ashlee are entering Tabitha's 'inner circle,' which is significant because Clarissa is going to be able to check receipts on immediate future knowledge things better than Elena was able to. Ashlee is still a ticking time bomb!

Tabitha probably won't spill the beans to her 'Personal Fitness' clique, because she doesn't trust Vanessa as much as the others, and also Tiffany is a huge blabbermouth. Only tell Tiffany secrets if you want word spread far and wide as fast as possible! That bunch of girls is in the other section I'm working on. Plan is to focus on finishing RE:TT 64 so that I can push 62 to Royal Road ASAP, and after that I'm gonna be focusing on After AnimeCon for a while, because that just has just one more chapter and a bit of epilogue before it's completely done. Will fix links and guide page later tonight, PA has surprisingly warm weather for a few days here so I'm gonna make grocery runs now that the sun is up!

Oh, and new cover! By Bao, Wutosama of Metaworld Chronicles fame introduced me to him and I love his work. Don't worry about the stripper heels there, my author name will get planted right in that spot and cover them.