Full set - Study of Self, June 2023, P2
Added 2023-06-18 01:54:18 +0000 UTCFinished the second part of my series this morning. I drove for a little while, always thinking about a ton of things at once when I do that. I wasn't sure what the weekend would bring, because I am an uber driver, even though I come into contact with humans all the time, I never have any engagement aside from short conversations here and there. When I have the house to myself and so much time to be in my head, it ends up being bad for me and I get sucked into a bad feeling. The worries that I have for the future are real, and I wish I didn't end up feeling insecure, about a lot of things. I have a war with myself inside, every day just about and I try to keep those feelings away if I can. I was excited about a shoot with a friend for next month but it actually isn't going to be happening now. Her reasons are completely valid. I always feel like I did something wrong because I think I usually do and I hate that. Definitely don't want to make anything about me, ends up sounding like that. I wanted to shoot with her because I wanted to make her feel amazing like the woman she is. I respect her space and her decision not to. I had fruit in the sunset today in the back yard. It's why I didnt really work today, even though I feel guilty about that (lol), its all I wanted to do. I found the perfect papaya and it was so delicious. The perfect mango is for tomorrow, right on time.
