ALICE IN WANDERLAND, part one

The doe and the faun stepped out from between the trees, right onto the walking trail in front of Alice. She stopped motionless, holding her breath, not wanting to startle them. For a moment, they stood together on the paved path through the park. Sunlight filtered through the leaves gave them an almost luminous appearance.

For a moment, they stood there, blinking, as if deciding what to do next. The mother deer looked right at her, its ears flickered, without showing any concern at all. And then, as if deciding, the vanished off the trail, back into the woods.

Alice could breath again. It was the most beautiful think she’d ever seen. She was a city girl, and wild animals weren’t common there. She’d heard deer frequented the park, but it was still amazing to see a pair so close.

She waited a moment, just in case they came back. Hoping that they would come back. Their appearance had almost felt unreal.

When they didn’t, she unconsciously wiped her hand against her sun dress, just in case there was any semen left on her fingers, and walked down the path, smiling to herself.

What a strange day. What a marvelous day.

&&&

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi yourself,” Alice replied pleasantly.

“Nice day?”

“Mmm hmm,” she nodded.

“Wanna toke?” he asked.

She thought about it.

“Sure, why not?”

Alice watched him as he took out a hand rolled joint, and lit it.

“Home grown,” he said. “Personal stock.”

He took a deep draft and passed it to her. She looked at it dubiously. Still, she thought, nobody ever actually got roofied from a reefer. Alice put it to her lips, inhaled and held it. She passed it back, exhaling slowly, letting a sense of vagueness and well being settle over.

They passed it back two or three times, before it was down to a small roach. He pursed his lip around it, clearly long practiced, and inhaled the last bit.

“That was nice,” he said.

She nodded. It was okay. Not the best, but all right. She could feel pleasant mild buzz. It lingered though. Sometimes it came on strong. This just left a pleasant lasting mellow.

“It’s nice to do nice things together,” he said. “Sharing.”

“Yes,” Alice said, noncommitally. She had the feeling he was working up to something.

“So are you just hanging around?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “I heard some stuff. I thought I’d take a look.”

He put his hand on Alice’s thigh, over her sun dress, not even looking at her. Just looking off into the distance.

Amber stared at him, then glanced at him. He was casual, pretending to pay no attention. Very carefully, she placed her hand on his pants.

“Can I kiss you,” he said, conversationally.

“No.”

He nodded,

“Want to fuck?”

“Mmm no.” Alice almost wanted to laugh. She wasn’t going to kiss him. She certainly wasn’t going to fuck. Who asks in that order? It seemed silly, comical.

“Suck my cock?”

“Nope!”

“Play with my cock?”

Alice thought about it.

She’s given hand jobs as a junior in high school. It had been exciting to have boys pull out their thing, and just let you touch it and play with it, learning to stroke it. All the girls in her circle had done them, it had been like a fad, like wearing poodle skirts, or hair ribbons, something to enthuse or talk about, before they all kind of lost interest. Ultimately, boys enjoyed them, but past the novelty, there was little for girls.

It felt like kids stuff.

“Okay.”

He unzipped his fly.

“Just reach in,” he invited.

Alice looked down at the open folds of his shorts, and reached in. He wasn’t wearing underwear. Somehow, that didn’t surprise him. She found him easily, already half erect, his penis was warm and firm under her hand, the skin loose in her grasp, it was a little floppy.

She glanced at it, as she pulled it out. It was oddly featureless, pale pink, no veins or ridges, no trace of pubic hair, his scrotum had been velvet as her fingers hand brushed over it. The head was concealed by a large foreskin that covered it completely.

It was a cock without any identity at all, she thought. Like some sea cucumber, alive but undistinguished. Maybe that impression, she thought, was just the mild high

She squeezed it, feeling it become steadily harder, less floppy.

“That’s it,” he said tightly. She smiled at him.

She pulled back on his foreskin, the head of his cock poked into view, but the foreskin covered the arch. The exposed part felt moist. She slid the foreskin forwards, and concentrated on jerking his foreskin back and forth to masturbate him.

Alice looked around, smiling vaguely. There was a sense of unreality. Here she was, masturbating a complete stranger in public out in broad daylight. It was both sexy and not sexy in ways she found hard to describe. She didn’t mind doing it, and there was a sense of novelty and mischief, but at the same time, she wasn’t particularly aroused. It was just kind of ... fun. And... casual.

The day was nice, the trees were green, the air was fresh and she could hear birds singing, the sun felt pleasant on her skin, and she was ever so slightly high. There was no sense of danger or even unpleasantness. She was quite sure that this was the weirdest thing she’d ever done, the weirdest situation she’d ever been in.

It was kind of cool.

He moved suddenly, his hips lifting, he grunted heavily and kind of gave a half moan, his legs going stiff. His hand on her thigh clamped tight. She looked over, she’d almost lost track of him. His cock was violently rigid, every time she tugged his foreskin, she could feel it bumping over the corona. Then he ejaculated, not a spurt, but a sort of volcanic flow, all over her hand.

“Ah,” he said, “that was good. Thanks.”

Alice wasn’t sure of the etiquette for giving complete strangers handjobs in public parks.

“You’re welcome,” she tried.

He wiped himself off and put his shrinking penis away.

“Well,” he told her, pulling himself to his feet, “I’ll be seeing you around.”

“Sure,” she said, and watched him leave.

Alice sat for a moment, reflecting on the experience. It had been weird and sort of cool, but in its own odd way, also vaguely disappointing.

He hadn’t actually done anything, just a hand on her thigh that didn’t move at all. He hadn’t tried to touch her breast, or any other part of her body, the hand on her thigh hand not slipped under her sun dress. Surely there should be some medium, some appropriate and enjoyable middle ground, between fucking or making out and just giving handjob.

She wiped her hand on her dress, trying to decide whether it had been a good experience or bad. Wondered about what she had expected, and what she’d found.

Alice waited for a few minutes, enjoying the residue of the mild buzz, and the simple quietness and warmth of the park bench, waiting for something else to happen.

When it didn’t, she got up and wandered down one of the paths.

That was when she saw the two deer.

&&&

“They just go in the park and have sex,” the girl said. “Right out in the open.”

Alice’s eyes flickered to the mirror, intrigued. She was doing a layered hair coloring, which was an exacting process. Her chair was close enough to the sitting area that she could hear the girl’s talking clearly. It helped that they made no particular effort to be quiet.

“Assembly Park?” her friend responded. “You’re kidding. There’s people and everything all over the place. There’s kids.”

“Well, not out in the wide open - open,” the girl amended. “There’s all these walking trails in the woods off the main park. It used to be just gay cruising, but now it’s like for everyone that just wants to have sex. It’s called ‘Dogging.’”

“With dogs? Yuck!”

In the mirror, Alice momentarily locked eyes with her client, wrapped in a plastic shawl, festooned with chemicals. The young woman looked back at her, an eyebrow lifted, she gave Alice a half smile. As if to say ‘that sounds pretty fucked up!’

Alice recovered and smiled back, giving a small shrug that said ‘You hear all kinds of crazy shit in this business, you just let it wash over and rinse it away.’ She settled back into her work, affecting a professional demeanor.

Inside, she was utterly fascinated.

“Why do they call it that? Dogging?”

“I don’t know, maybe it started with walking the dogs. Two people would be walking their dogs, and they’d see each other and they’d go, ‘let’s tie these dogs to a tree or something, and then go have sex in the bushes.’”

“Probably just an excuse to get out of the house. ‘Hi honey, going to walk that dog again!’”

“How are you doing, Leah?” the first girl called loudly to her friend in Alice’s chair.

“Just fine,” Leah replied, equally loudly. She addressed herself to Alice. “How much longer?”

“Another half an your,” Alice replied in normal tone.

“We’ll be another half hour,” Leah called to her friends, as if Alice hadn’t spoken at all.

Over in the waiting area, the two girls resumed talking with no trace of self-consciousness. As if Alice wasn’t there at all, as if she was invisible.

“How do you know this?”

“Courtney told me, you know her boyfriend Mark. He heard about it, and he talked her into going out there.”

“Shit! Did anything happen?”

“They saw an orgy!”

“No!”

When it was all finished, Leah and her friends departed. Alice settled into the chair she rented at the Salon. There was nothing to do but wait for the next client.

That was part of the downside of being a stylist, just waiting on people. Trying to schedule appointments, but often waiting, hoping for walk ins and foot traffic. Trying to be outgoing, make that connection with the client so that they not only liked your work, but liked you, and would keep coming back.

Sometimes it was good, she flew through the day, only to feel an emptiness when it was time to sweep up, and everyone was gone, all the conversations and human contact vanished away, leaving her hollow.

Sometimes it was exhausting, she felt invisible and unseen, trapped inside a robot going through the motions, saying the standard things.

Sometimes she thought about doing something else, finding another job. But she was good at this, she always paid her chair, and somehow, finding something else seemed like an effort.

Alice thought of the girl’s conversation. That had been intriguing. She pulled out her smartphone and searched ‘Dogging.’ The material online was scattered and disorganized. Apparently, it had begun in England in parking areas in the countryside. There were pictures of women being fondled in their cars. It all seemed more bizarre than sexy.

She searched the park. There was surprisingly little information. Bit by bit, she teased out hints. Yes, apparently, people really did go dogging at the park, mostly Mondays and Tuesdays. Why then? It started in the afternoon, but it was late in the evening that things heated up. But there was a maddening ambiguity to it, the comments and snippets of information were almost frustrating in their brevity.

These were people who went into a park and had sex with strangers that they met there. How did that work? What was it like? They had sex while other people watched. What did that feel like? Sex outdoors? Sex in daylight and fresh air with the sun on your bum?

The very idea of doing such a thing, of such an activity, seemed to explode with all sorts of ideas and possibilities.

But the actual online information seemed to be all about hours and parking, locations, avoiding raccoons, simple notations of this or that.

“Excuse me,” a voice said. She looked up, a late middle aged man had entered the salon. Balding, graying, he had tufts of ear hairs sprouting, and an awkward comb over. “Are you available.”

“Certainly,” Alice smiled at him. Time to go to work.

&&&

Alice pulled up into the parking lot. It was mostly empty, there was a scattering of cars here and there. This was an outskirts parking lot on the far edge of the park. It wasn’t even paved, just packed gravel.

According to the internet, it was dogging central. There’d been descriptions of women and men exposing themselves in their cars, people wandering from vehicle to vehicle to watch, or to touch if invited.

But except for one man sitting in his car, there was no one around. She’d taken care not to park near him. He wasn’t looking at her, and she made a point of not looking towards him.

Alice was wearing a light floral print sun dress with spaghetti straps. She wore no make up, no bra, but had red cotton panties, and carried a small purse with condoms, and a little yellow cannister of dog spray that looked like a highlighter.

On the car seat beside her, was a map of the park’s wilderness trails. Again, the internet told lurid tales.

For a few minutes, Alice sat in the car, thinking about chickening out and going home. She could feel her nervousness, the way her heart raced. Maybe pick up some sushi on the way, watch some Netflix. Just give up, and make it an afternoon and an evening like every single other day.

Fuck that, Alice thought.

She folded the map and put it in her purse. She stepped out of the car, locked the door, and displaying far more confidence than she felt, she walked across the lot, stepping onto the paved trail into the wilderness section of the park.

&&&

“Hello,” the man said smiling at her. He was late middle aged, overweight but not grossly so, balding. He wore cargo shorts and sandals.

He wasn’t alone, he was holding hands with a woman, curly dyed red hair, in better shape than the man, but about the same age. She wore a shapeless purple dress, off the shoulder, fastened just above her breasts. Alice could tell by the shape and curve through the fabric that she had generous breasts, no bra and hard nipples.

They were both smiling at her, but there was nothing scary in it. It was just a friendly, neutral smile.

“Hi,” she said.

“It’s a nice day,” the woman said, “are you just here for a walk?”

“Basically,” Alice said. “Yes.”

“We love walking,” the woman said. “I’m Elaine, this is Bill. We just enjoy coming here, the fresh air, the birds, the flowers. Sometimes you see wildlife.”

“Nice,” Alice said.

“You are?”

“Alice.”

“Do you came here a lot, Alice?” Elaine asked. “I don’t recall seeing you, and we’re here all the time.”

“First time,” Alice admitted. “I don’t come to the park very much. But someone said the trails were nice.”

Bill and Elaine glanced at each other. Elaine’s smile broadened.

“They are,” she said. “We’re just going for a walk around. Would you like to walk with us, we could chat.”

“We’re always open to making new friends,” Bill offered.

Alice regarded them warily, butterflies in her stomach. But they seemed harmless. She walked along with them. They held hands, she maintained a courteous distance, as they made small talk about their jobs and their lives.

At one point, a jogger came up behind them, and they parted to let them pass.

“You know,” Elaine offered, “we’re swingers.”

Alice nodded.

“I kind of figured.”

“The park is a very fun place for swingers.”

“I heard,” Alice said carefully.

“Is that why you’re here?” Elaine asked. “We’re not hitting on you. But we know our way around, so if you’re new or you have questions... we’d be happy to talk.”

Alice walked a few steps, thinking, before she settled on an answer.

“Okay,” she said. “Yes. I heard, so I thought I’d check it out. I don’t know that I want to do anything with anyone. Maybe I just wanted to see.”

Bill nodded.

“That’s fair,” he said. “If your new, it can be a pretty freaky scene. It was a good idea to come in the daytime. At night, it can get a little crazy.”

“Mondays and Tuesdays,” Elaine said. “Those are the days. Afternoons, evenings. Tuesday evenings are when it’s really jumping.”

“But you’re here now,” Alice pointed out.

They both laughed, but in a friendly way.

“We really actually do like to walk,” Elaine said.

“Five to ten kilometers a day,” Bill replied. “At our age, you move it or lose it.”

“We like this place,” she said. “It’s safe, it’s beautiful. We meet old friends here, memories.”

“We meet new people.”

“And have sex with them,” Alice blurted, and wanted to kick herself.

“Sometimes,” Bill said.

“Are you interested?” Elaine asked.

“Uhm,” Alice began.

“Not right now,” Bill said. “That’s cool. First time, you just want to check out the lay of the land.”

“Yes,” Alice said, relieved that they understood. “So what’s it like? I’m sorry. I don’t even know what questions to ask.”

“All right,” Elaine replied. “Well, we’ll try and lay it out for you.”

“First rule...” Bill began.

“First rule,” Elaine said. “I don’t know. Look but don’t touch?”

Bill nodded. “Good start.”

“It’s all about consent here,” Elaine said, “People come, it’s all out in the open. Generally, no one minds being watched. I guess you have to be a bit of an exhibitionist to be here.”

Bill laughed.

“So it’s okay to watch. Just don’t be an asshole. Don’t be rude, don’t make snide remarks. We’re all here to have a good time, don’t be cruel. And don’t be a prude. If you see someone masturbating, and you don’t like that, just go somewhere else.”

“Don’t touch anyone unless you’re invited,” Bill chipped in. “If you see someone, no matter what they’re doing, you don’t have the right to just help yourself. If you see people having sex, you can’t just jump in. You watch, you can ask politely. If they say yes, fine. If they say no, respect it.”

“That’s... hard to believe,” Alice said. “Everyone obeys the rules.”

“Mostly. Thing is, after a while, people get to know each other. New people, particularly ones with bad attitudes, they get noticed. There’s always going to be some asshole showing up. But either they learn the rules quick or they get run off.”

“We look out for each other,” Elaine said. “If you get in trouble, scream. Everyone comes running. If there’s shouting, even a loud argument, it draws a crowd.. It’s actually safer here during the night, than at daytime - more people to look out for you.”

“I don’t know,” Alice said. “I really don’t know about that. I don’t know anyone. I don’t think I’d feel safe at night.”

“You could come back with us Tuesday,” Elaine said. “We could introduce you around.”

“Don’t put pressure, Dear,” Bill said. “She’s shy. She needs to do things her own way.”

Alice was grateful for Bill’s intervention.

“I’m sorry, Dear,” Elaine said. “I’m just enthusiastic. I believe in the lifestyle.”

“That’s okay,” Alice said. “I don’t know if it’s for me, that’s all. I’m just looking around.”

“No problem.”

Alice nodded.

“So... What do people do?” she asked.

“Everything,” Elaine said. “As long as everything is safe and consensual. Nothing crazy, no violence.”

“We’ve witnessed a few floggings,” Bill said.

“But that’s not really violence. A little B&D or S&M, it happens. But none of the crazy stuff.”

“Oh!” Bill raised a finger. “No campfires.”

“What?” Alice asked.

“No campfires,” Bill repeated. “That’s the one big absolute rule. No campfires. There’s a few barbecue pits tucked away. Use those if you need to. But absolutely no campfires. If the Park staff doesn’t kick you out, the rest of us will. No one needs this place burning down.”

“Also,” Elaine said, “pick up after yourself.”

“Oh yeah,” Bill said. “Don’t leave used condoms laying around. They’re gross and unsanitary. Bud for the wildlife. Animals can end up eating them and dying. Be respectful. Don’t leave a mess. Have fun, but you know, pick up.”

It was the weirdest thing. Alice felt like she’d somehow turned a mysterious corner and stepped into a smokey the bear infomercial.

“You said Park staff,” she asked.

“Don’t worry about them,” Elaine said. “I mean, don’t have sex right in front of them...”

“Well....” averred.

“They all know what goes on here,” Elaine said. “They look the other way.”

“Some of them play.”

“Always ask first.”

“We’re not doing any harm,” Bill said.

“But what do people do?” Alice insisted.

“They have sex,” Elaine said. “Boy boy, girl girl, boy girl.”

“Threesomes, foursomes, moresomes.”

“Sometimes its just masturbating. Or playing, but not all the way having sex.”

“Sometimes showing off. Sometimes watching.”

“Sometimes people just sit in the car, and watch. Or invite people in with them.”

“Watch out for poison ivy in the woods.”

“There are signs up for all the patches. There aren’t supposed to be, but we put them up.”

“Hard to see them at night.”

“There’s always one or two cases a year.”

“That’s why you should come with someone who knows the place a little.”

“This all happens out in the open?” Alice asked.

“Oh gosh no,” Bill said.

“Not on the main paths!” Elaine agreed. “You should be very well behaved there. Maybe flash a little bit, flirt a bit.”

“Side paths,” Bill said. “The narrow ones off the main path. Always make sure you’re out of sight of the main paths though. You don’t want to traumatize some girl scout troop marching through.”

Bill laughed.

“Not funny,” Elaine said, but in a light way, as if there was some joke here that they shared. “Anyway, if you meet someone you like, or several someones you like, the thing is, that there are all these little trails you can take, and little places in the woods where you can... have some fun.”

“We can show you,” Bill said.

Elaine smiled at her.

“Would you like to watch?” she asked. “Bill and me. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to touch us. You don’t have to come close. Just watch.”

“Just to see what it’s like,” Bill said. “No pressure.”

Alice found herself blushing deeply. Her knees felt a little watery, her stride not quite right, she had butterflies in her stomach and could feel her heart lurching slightly. It was intriguing, but scary. But they seemed nice.

“All right,” Alice said.

Elaine nodded.

“All right,” she said. “Just up ahead, there’s a little path. We’ll go down that. You just follow.”

A moment later, hand in hand, the stepped off the side trail, onto a narrow earth path. The path was clear at first, the grass worn to mud by tramping feet. Bill lead them deeper and deeper, the path meandering right and then left. Alice worried that she’d lose track of the main trails.

“Here we go,” Bill said. The trees and brush had thinned out, giving way to a thin stand of young willow and birch. Bill walked up to a birch tree, barely six inches thick, and laid a palm against it. “I like Birch. Poplar too. Some trees, the bark’s so rough, you don’t want to be anywhere near it, scratch you right up.”

“Usually,” Elaine said, “you might bring a blanket or something.”

“Grass stains,” Bill chipped in. “Hard to get out.”

“Sex can be tricky,” Elaine said. “A lot of people just do oral.”

“Come here,” Bill beckoned Elaine towards the birch tree. She smiled and went to him. He leaned back against the tree, as she threw her arms around him, and kissed passionately. The kiss went on and on, as if they’d forgotten about her, their hands moving over each other. Bill pulled Elaine’s dress up, exposing her bare ass. No panties, Alice noted.

Alice felt a little wet, and self conscious, as if she was watching something private. It was silly, they’d invited her to watch, but still, she felt as if she was intruding.

The kiss finally broke, and Bill turned Elaine around in his arms, so that they were both facing Alice. Elaine leaned back against Bill, smiling with feline satisfaction.

“Love of my life,” Bill said. Elaine’s catlike smile broadened into a Cheshire grin, and she squirmed against him, grinding her ass into his hips. His hands found her breasts, cupping them over the fabric. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

“Beautiful,” Alice said politely, it wasn’t that Elaine was unattractive, it was that they were all standing in the middle of the woods.

“Check this out,” Bill said. One hand let go of a breast, he reached down her dress, as far as he could, grabbed a handful of fabric and pulled it up. Alice watched Elaine’s bare legs come into view, moving as she shifted her weight from side to side. She parted her thighs, rolling her hips, as the fabric lifted above her hips.

There were no panties, of course, she’d seen that already. But from the front, Elaine was smooth and pink. She reached down laying painted fingernails above her pubic mound and pulled, exposing labia and clitoral hood. It was almost too perfect, too smooth.

“Lasered,” Bill said. “Not a hair. She’s just velvet smooth. It’s amazing.”

“I love it,” Elaine said, her voice proud and husky. “I love how it feels. I love touching it, I love Bill touching it. It was the third best thing I ever did.”

“I shave,” Alice offered. “Once in a while.”

Not lately. She’d trimmed a little, just in case, for bikini season. But it hadn’t been a priority.

“Would you like to touch her,” Bill invited. Elaine wiggled her hips slowly. “She is so soft, it’s amazing.”

“And wet,” Elaine whispered. “You should feel how wet I am.”

“Yeah,” Alice said blushing. “I’m fine. Maybe. Just...”

“It’s okay,” Bill said. “No pressure. Check this out...”

With both hands, he pulled the fabric of the purple dress all the way up, leaving Elaine almost nude but for the band of fabric above her astonishingly round, firm, perfect breasts.

“Wow,” Alice said. Impressed despite herself.

Elaine squirmed, rolling her ass against bill, swinging from side to side. She cupped her breasts, fingers tracing their ship, lifting them, as if on offer.

“They’re not real, of course,” Elaine said. “But they’re magnificent, aren’t they? They feel so good. Second best things I ever did.”

Alice felt like she had to ask.

“What was the first?”

Elaine grinned and released a hand to jerk a thumb towards Bill. He bent his head down to kiss her neck and she purred like a cat.

“Do you want to touch them?” Elaine offered.

“Uhh...”

“Have you ever felt implants before?” Elaine asked.

“It hasn’t actually come up before.”

“It’s all right,” Elaine said. “You can feel them if you want. Maybe it’s something you’ll think of for yourself someday. You never know.”

“Uhm,” Alice tried to think of something to say. “Okay.”

She stepped forward quickly, and put her hands on Elaine’s breasts for a moment, feeling the smooth taught skin and the firm rigidity beneath. She retreated.

“Okay,” Alice said. “That’s fine. They’re very nice.”

“It’s a little much for her,” Bill said, nuzzling Elaine’s neck. “Should we stop?”

“I’m sorry dear,” Elaine said, pressing one of Bill’s hands on her breast. “I understand what this must be like for you. It’s a lot at once, and you don’t even know if it’s something you want.”

“Yes,” Alice said. “I don’t mind what you’re doing. It’s kind of exciting. It’s just a little overwhelming.”

“It’s about being sexy,” Elaine said. “It’s about feeling it. It can be so easy to lose that, especially as you get older. You get caught up with life, and you get busy, you get older each year, and it sort of fades away, bit by bit, and suddenly you’re dull and empty. Sometimes, you have to reach for it, you have to work to get it back. But it’s what makes us feel alive. It’s being alive.”

She half turned to kiss Bill, their mouths pressing against each other. His hands were on her breasts, her body nude beneath it, pressing up against the birch. She reached down to Bill’s cargo shorts.

“You’re good?” she asked.

“Always for you,” he told her.

Again, Alice felt that weird embarrassment, as if she was witnessing something private and intimate and not for her. Again, she knew they were showing off. She just couldn’t help the feeling.

Elaine looked at Alice then.

“All right, honey,” she said. “We’re going to play a little. You can watch if you want. You can even join in if you feel it. We don’t mind. But this is for us, is that okay?”

“I don’t want to be rude,” Alice said, “I really should...”

“It’s all right,” Elaine said. “You don’t have to stay. No pressure.”

She winked.

“Although I’d enjoy it if you watched a little,” she said.

“Okay,” Alice said.

Elaine pawed at Bill’s cargo shorts, reaching in and releasing. For a moment, Bill’s pink stick came into sight. Then they turned away to the side and it wasn’t visible. Bill reached down and got an elbow under Elaine’s knee, lifting her leg high as they balanced against the tree. Alice couldn’t see, but she had the sense from Elaine’s reaction that Bill had entered her.

Alice was actually impressed by Elaine’s flexibility, and Bill’s for that matter, as they somehow managed to have sex standing up. She could see Bill’s hips twist trying to thrust up into his wife at that angle, and Bill’s bare ass. Elaine moaned deeply, over and over as Bill grunted, clearly building to orgasm, her hands wrapped around Bill’s back. One of Bill’s hands held Elaine’s thigh, presumably the other was on her breast.

She watched them fuck for perhaps five or ten minutes, feeling both excited and awkward. She couldn’t really see much from her angle, but she wasn’t sure she should move. So she remained rooted to the spot. It was arousing, but sort of weird, she could feel her body respond, but didn’t want it to. She wanted to touch herself, but didn’t want to encourage it.

Elaine seemed to have an orgasm, and the couple began to wind down. Alice was blushing so hard, she felt almost luminous.

“Wow,” she said. “That was ... amazing. I don’t know how ready I am. I think I’m just going to go off now. On my own. Maybe see you again later.”

“You all right, Hon?” Elaine asked, her expression full of genuine concern, her chin resting on Bill’s soldier. “This wasn’t too much, was it?”

Bill turned his face to her, his features kind and concerned, as if they were both a little worried for her.

“Oh,” Alice said, “I’m fine. I just want to explore a little. See you later.”

Alice turned and stumbled back to the main path, blushing madly, her legs wobbly.

Her thoughts were all over the place. Part of her wanted to stay and keep watching. Part of her, some wild rogue impulse, even wanted to join. Not join, but to get closer. To touch them as they made love, to feel her breasts or his ass, to be so close she could see them trade spit.

But it had been too much. Too much information from them, too much familiarity, they had names, Bill and Elaine, they were people. She needed a boundary, a line of safety. And what they’d done, it was too much. It was exciting, but overwhelming at once.

She needed to get away, and think about everything.

&&&

It was her day for clean up, so she stayed late. After, she went out with friend for coffee, and everyone talked about their lives, except her. Hers felt like it was passing her by. She thought about mentioning the dogging thing she’d overheard. But then suppressed the impulse. What was she going to talk about? Listening in on two teenagers talking about sex? So she sat and smiled.

By the time Alice got home, she was tired and hungry. Kevin, her nominal husband, was watching sports on television.

“We ordered Pizza,” Kevin told her. “There’s still some left.”

“Oh yeah?” Alice asked. “Who came over.”

“Kelly,” he said, “and a couple of the guys.”

“Ah,” she replied, noncommitally. At one point, she’d suspected Kevin of having an affair with Kelly. These days, she found she just didn’t care. Kevin could do whatever he wanted, as long as he paid his share of the rent, which he did mostly, and as long as he helped with the chores, which he didn’t, mostly.

They barely spoke to each other. The marriage had steadily gone cold, poisoned by Kevin’s selfishness and immaturity, and by Alice’s exhausted apathy. They should have gone their separate ways five years ago, instead, they’d settled into a rut.

“I think,” Kevin said, “I’m going to be moving out in a few months, I just need to find a place.”

“Okay,” Alice said. He’d said this before. “Let me know.”

She thought about mentioning the dogging thing, but they didn’t really talk any more.

Instead, she went into the kitchen. The pizza, a couple of slices, were in the fridge. She grabbed them and a bottle of gatorade and retreated to her bedroom.

While she ate cold pizza, she fired up her laptop and searched ‘Dogging + Assiniboine Park.’

&&&

“Excuse me?” Alice asked.

“I said you are an exquisitely beautiful woman.”

“Oh,” Alice smiled. “Thank you!”

They stood there, Alice smiling. The man seemed content to look at her, and Alice found she didn’t mind.

“Do you come here often?” the man asked.

Alice laughed out loud. A little startled, she put her hand to her mouth.

“Oh geez,” she said. “Please don’t be offended. I didn’t mean anything. It’s just, that’s such a line.”

The man didn’t seem to be upset, he was smiling at her still.

“It’s all right,” he said, “it’s just I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you new?”

“First time,” she admitted. “Are you a regular?”

“I’ve been around a few times,” he asked.

What’s it like? Alice wanted to ask. What do people do? What have you seen? She had a thousand questions suddenly, crowding around in her, unformed unfocused, just a kind of floating excited curiosity. She felt so new, she didn’t even know how to figure out what questions to ask.

She didn’t ask any of them. She’d made that mistake with Bill and Elaine. She’d asked, and they’d told her. They’d shown her. It had been too much.

“Oh cool,” she said instead.

There was an awkward pause.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said. “I like to look at a beautiful woman. I like to compliment them.”

“You see a lot of beautiful women?” she teased. “Around here?”

“Beauty is wherever you find it,” he said.

“That’s pretty.”

Alice wasn’t sure what it meant. But it sounded nice.

“I saw some deer go by,” she offered. “Just now. It was amazing.”

She wasn’t sure why she was prolonging the conversation. She felt safe and pleasant.

But she knew. It was what Elaine had talked about. You go through your whole day, no one looks at you. No one cares. You’re drowning in ordinariness. Some old guy says you’re beautiful, and wants to look at you, he’s harmless. And for a moment, for a few moments, you feel special. You feel the way he sees you.

“They are beautiful creatures,” he said.

“They were right in front of me,” Alice told him. “I felt like I could almost reach out and touch them.”

“A special moment,” he said.

Alice nodded.

“Yes.”

“You see them a lot here,” he said. “And other things. Young people. Women. Some of them…”

He lowered his voice.

“Some of them are hardly dressed.”

“Oh my!”

“Some even wear nothing at all!” he confided.

Alice laughed.

“I’m not taking off my dress for you,” she teased him. “You’re bad!”

“I didn’t ask you to take off your dress.”

She nodded.

“True, true,” she agreed. “Fair enough. I apologize.”

“But maybe… just your top?”

Alice burst out in giggles all over again, blushing. She looked up and down the path. There was no one around.

At least he seemed interested in her, not like the man on the park bench who had barely looked at her while she jerked him off.

“Well, all right,” she said, sliding the spaghetti straps down, “but just for a moment.”

She lowered the dress, exposing her breasts. There was a stray bit of awareness, the feeling of sunlight and warmth on them, it felt nice. He stepped close, but not too close.

“Perfect,” he whispered, staring. “Wonderful. As beautiful as I thought.”

She almost wanted to say ‘my eyes are up here.’ But really, he was supposed to look at them. The thought made her want to giggle. Perhaps it was the warmth of the sun, or simply being gazed on and admired, she left them out. Her nipples hardened.

“Thank you.”

“They’re lovely.”

“Thank you again.”

She swung her shoulders slightly, almost unconsciously, almost showing off. Her nipples were definitely hard, her breasts felt firm and full. They were beautiful. She’d been wearing them everywhere. How had they suddenly become gorgeous. There was a kind of giddy elation to standing there in the sunlight, bare breasted.

“Can I touch them?” he asked.

Alice was so surprised that her involuntary gasp became a snort, she covered them with her hands, turning away, and laughed.

“No!” she told him.

But why not? She thought suddenly. Why not? What’s the harm?

“Well… maybe?” she teased. “Okay.”

She lowered her hands, stepping off the path a little, watching him as he approached. She was taller than he was by a good four inches. He wasn’t even trying to look at her eyes, which she found amusing.

What am I doing? She asked herself. And some little voice replied: Oh fuck off, this is fun, where’s the harm?

She watched him reach out to tough, almost holding her breath. His fingers touched her lightly, just below the collarbones. His fingers were broad and stubby, perhaps a lifetime of manual labor, but the fingernails were clean. His touch was remarkably gentle, the fingers flattening against her skin as they moved down, tracing the swells of her breasts, reaching under to cup them, lifting slightly.

Alice looked past his hands, noting the thinning white hair, the bent nose, perhaps broken long ago, the wrinkles of forehead, eyebrow hairs perhaps too long. He had to be at least twenty or thirty years older then her.

His hands felt nice. Not sexy nice, she wasn’t aroused. If she could compare it to anything, it was kind of like the absent-minded sensual pleasure of stroking a cat.

“They’re perfect,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” she said.

His left hand teased her nipple ring, his right massaged the bare nipple. His brow furrowed slightly.

“Why one ring?”

Alice had never told anyone, except Mike. At some point, she’d made up a story, or a reason, but there’d never been anyone to tell it to. She decided to tell him the truth.

“I wanted to get them both done actually,” she said. “I thought it would be cool. But then, when I got the first one done, it hurt so much I chickened out.”

She paused.

“So you know,” she said. “just one ring. I’m a bit chickenshit, story of my life. I try things, and then chicken out.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, playing with the ring. “I think you’re brave.”

His head was so close, he could almost take the nipple in his mouth. She wasn’t sure whether she’d let him.

“My other nipple is the sensitive one,” she said.

He turned his attention to the bare nipple.

“They’re both sensitive, I guess. But that one was always more sensitive, definitely. I don’t know if other girls are like that. I always thought I was a little weird, like not right.”

Why was she confessing her secrets and insecurities to this little old man fondling her boobs? She wondered. Why was she letting him fondle her boobs in the first place? She shrugged and went with it.

He was making little circles around it, it felt sexy, even if she didn’t find him sexy.

“No,” he assured her, “I’ve heard of girls like that. Met them. Sometimes we’re a little lopsided.”

Both hands were on her breasts.

“Oh,” she said, “well, that’s good to know.”

“Mine aren’t lopsided are they?” She’d always felt one was just a tiny bit larger, but she’d never admitted that to anyone, and as far as she knew, no one else seemed to notice.

“They’re perfect.”

His head dropped lower.

I should tell him to stop, she thought. But didn’t.

He kissed the nipple gently, letting his lips enfold it. She felt his tongue lap the tip. A sensual, fluttering feeling rose up in her.

Then a jogger ran past.

Alice almost jumped out of her skin, they separated, quickly, she pulled up her dress covering herself, turning towards the woods, hoping not to make eye contact. The Jogger was mostly a presence, pounding feet, panting breath, an impression of shape and color, appearing out of nowhere and just as quickly receding. Alice tried to get her heartbeat under control and manage the adrenalin that surged through her. Had he seen them? What had he seen? He must have seen them? Did he see her breasts? Did he see the old man kiss her nipple? But he was gone, leaving just the shock of his presence.

“Yike!” she said. “Public pathway, I guess.”

As her heartbeat steadied, she noticed she was flushed, and a little wet.

“No harm done,” the old man said. He saw his opportunity. “Would you like to go someplace quieter… and continue?”

He looked hopeful.

Almost regretfully, but only almost, Alice shook her head. She hadn’t even intended to let him feel her up, much less kiss her nipple.

Once in the woods was enough. She definitely wasn’t going to go off in the woods again, this time with an old man who could be her grandfather. There wasn’t anything mean in that decision, no revulsion, just simply ‘no.’

“Sorry,” she told him.

“Well,” he said, “if you’re strolling, may I accompany you.”

She shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I enjoyed this… you. But I think I want to be on my own.”

He nodded philosophically.

“I understand.”

Alice felt grateful, and pleased. This was, she thought, the best molestation ever.

He hesitated.

“May I see them, once more,” he said, “before we part?”

Alice smiled.

“One last time.” She lowered the spaghetti straps of the sun dress, letting the top of her dress fall below her nipples, once again feeling the warm sun on her bare breasts. She gave it a count of ten, or what was probably ten, and put them away.

“Thank you,” he said.

“My pleasure.”

“You know,” he said, “the one ring, it really is quite stylish on you. It looks wonderful. You should tell people you meant it that way. You shouldn’t call yourself down. I think you’re genuinely beautiful and brave - full of life.”

She grinned, feeling a warm glow inside her. Alice simply lived her life, and she knew she was okay, not ugly. But most times, she felt ordinary and dull, not special at all. He’d made her feel special, even if he was a horny old man handing out cheesy compliments.

On impulse, she stepped close to him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she said, stepping back. “Now, we should get going.”

He nodded, taking the hint, and stepping onto the path.

“Maybe we’ll see each other again?”

“Maybe.”

She watched him go around the corner that the jogger had vanished, strolling out of sight.

Alice checked her emotions, she felt excited, engaged, but safe. A little aroused, which surprised her. But the pleasure of feeling the sun on her breasts was stronger than the excitement. The pleasure of his hands on her was almost divorced from sexiness.

She checked carefully, but felt no regret, no disgust either with the act or with herself. I got felt up by an old guy, she thought. But that was actually fine. Kind of fun, in a harmless way.

There was a kind of giddiness to it, a childlike playfulness. She almost wanted to brag. Alice mentally scrolled through a few of her friends, looking for someone she could call and go ‘Guess what I just did!”

So this was the park? It wasn’t what she expected. Alice had sort of expected something more… degenerate? Raunchy? Something closer to a bacchanalia, a Roman orgy, a deep, drenched bath of sex and excess. Perhaps she’d hoped for that, although she wasn’t sure what she’d have done, if she’d encountered it.

It had felt safe, and harmless. Innocent, in a weird way. Perhaps later in the evening, or with more people, it would be the way she’d expected. But she hadn’t expected it to just be so odd, and kind of fun.

&&&