SakeTami
apocheck13
apocheck13

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I don't feel that good mentally...

I've been in a very bad emotional state lately. I feel like I lost all  hope, all energy that I had. Recently I had a dream that it's not 2023,  it's 2013 and I'm doing what I'm enjoying to do, just drawing stuff,  listening to music, waiting for a new season of MLP etc. I really wanna  go back, I don't want to live in this time, I don't want to... And that  feeling is not disappearing, it getting worse and worse. I don't wanna  die, but sometimes I wish I never was born at all. I have a feeling that  2020s will be the worst decade, at least for me...

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I usually watch and read a politically content connected to my country or anything about a russo-ukranian war and China. My anxiety comes from the AI stuff, I just don't know how to protect myself and what to do to earn money for a living in a long run. I'm learning animation and 3d modelling but still, it scares me a lot.

I've found myself feeling that exact same way as well (and still do sometimes). It took a long time to realise, but in my case, I discovered that most of my feelings of dread and anxiety were caused by "doomscrolling" on politically charged forum spaces such as Knockout, Discord and Steam, as well as algorithmically powered social media spaces such as Twitter. These platforms thrive on delivering "end of the world" and "social movement" news to you that is usually hyperbolic for the sake of driving views at the expense of your wellbeing. If you exclusively stick to fandom/hobby spaces that are mostly devoid of real-world discussions, such as fandom forums (e.g. MLP Forums, Bell Tree Forums), image boorus, DeviantArt etc., you may find that current year feels similar to the earlier days of the web. This may not apply to you at all (experiencing current real-world events in person is a different story altogether!), but it may be worth a try if it does. Hopefully this rambling doesn't come across as being clunky or insensitive etc.! Anyway, I hope you feel better soon!


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