Unicorn of War (Thomas Vaccaro)

RWBY V3 Commentary, Chapter 11

Team RWBY got robbed.

RWBY V3 Commentary, Chapter 10

Kevin did nothing wrong.

Tales of Berseria Retrospective

Velvet Crowe did nothing wronggggggggggg

RWBY V3 Commentary, Episode 9

RIP in Pieces Pennelia Penson Way

The Winx Go Camping & Unfortunately Are Not Mauled By A Sea Bear

Musa, throw away your guitar.

ATLA Commentary, Book 2 Chapter 2

God save Sokka from the hippies.

ATLA Commentary, Book 2 Chapter 1

She's heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

Winx Reboot Episode 5 Thoughts

Professional haters RISE

Winx Series Rewrite, Episodes 6 - 8 (plus revisions)

So I got some notes on Aisha's character in particular, then went back and adjusted her scenes and dialogue. Largely to reinforce her more introverted, shy, slightly anti-social tendencies. As such, enjoy the revisions, plus episodes 6 through 8!

Not sure when I'll get back to this since I have other projects that demand my attention, but hope y'all enjoy!

Winx 7 Commentary, Episode 18

The list of things we've lost to? Add bananas and lemurs to the list.

Winx 7 Commentary, Episode 17

That was one of the most boring things I've ever seen.

Winx Reboot Episode 4 Thoughts

Oh my god it's so boring.

Winx Reboot Episode 3 Thoughts

You titled it "Winx Versus Trix" and then gave me no fight. How dare you.

Winx Series Rewrite, Episodes 4 & 5

Have yet to finish episode 6, but I figured I'd share 4 and 5 with y'all!

Episode 4 introduces us to Redfountain, and gives us time to get acquainted with the bois. Mostly tho it's to add a bit more context to the Stella and Aisha beef.

And Episode 5 fuses the Blackmud Swamp episodes from the original into a more high-stakes situation. Mostly serves to let Flora take center stage with her tendency to try and shoulder more than she can handle.

Enjoy!

Soooooo I May Be Rewriting Winx Club...

The reboot is... a thing which exists (unfortunately). And because my instinct is to make glorified fanfiction, I took an old outline I had for a series rewrite and went to town. Aaaaand now I already have half of season 1 outlined and the scripts for the first three episodes done.

Episodes 1 and 2 largely follow the structure of the original, though with a few major changes. Bloom is college-aged, Aisha is here (and has a past with Stella), and we're generally trying to give all the girlies more to do.

The working title for the project is Winx Club R (a nod to '90s Sailor Moon, and with the R standing for Renaissance - lemme have this, okay?).

Assuming I keep enjoying this, I'll probably continue and share future scripts. Will it be a video? Maybe one day! But if not, y'all can still enjoy this.

Enjoy fam! lmfao

(apologies for any errors/typos, I mostly did these for fun without thought to dropping them, but I figured why not share it with y'all)

The Winx Club Reboot Still HATES Witches

We know this isn't well written, but bad shows never are.

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 13

- “The Power of the Dragon Flame.” Again, such a creative title.

- Wait… how did Vexius know Bloom would go to Lightrock in the first place? I just now realized that.

- And the Winx immediately show up to save Bloom. F in the chat for the tension.

- Oh god. So… one shot, the Winx are flying away from what looks like the entrance. It leads outside. But they were just in another part of the interior before. Then next shot, after they land, the door leads to… a void???

- AND AS THEY SIT AND TALK IT’S A SET OF CLOSED DOORS. GOOD LORD.

- So we’re just gonna sit and chat… in a hallway… not that far from Vexius, who’s actively hunting Bloom? Okay. We’re not gonna try and find a far-off, secluded room, where we could hide?

- Oh good, Bloom’s gonna tell us everything we’ve already heard. I love it when stories waste our time. What is this, RWBY?

- So Tecna can just scan the rooms of this ancient fortress and know their purpose immediately. Okay, sure.

- Damien being under this dark influence is so weird. It’s inconsistent, it’s never fully clear when it’s in play, cuz the eye glow thing only happened once, and it also destroys his agency.

- Why is this orb room giving the wish room in Wish?

- Okay, the orbs being books is kinda neat.

- Shouldn’t any kind of library — magical or otherwise — have some kinda cataloguing system for ease of use?

- “What would we do without you?” “I do not think you would survive.” Why is Tecna getting all these actually funny lines outta the blue? Stop giving me crumbs of greatness when it’s lost in slop!

- “Go tell Damien the truth!” Y’all don’t think he’d be brainwashed to not listen to you?

- “Your family stole our family’s flame!” Oh yeah. So… I guess Bloom just knows she’s the lost princess of Domino now? Even though that was never told to her, and never a dramatic moment. The only dramatic moment was her having a twin. Like, shouldn’t she have a stronger reaction to realizing she isn’t from Earth, and that Mike and Vanessa aren’t her birth parents?

- Gurl, stop yelling you’re his sister. On its face it sounds ridiculous. Like, why not focus on Vexius’ cruelty? Appealing to Damien’s sense of right and wrong. Clearly he doesn’t wanna actually hurt anyone, unlike Vexius.

- Not Stella’s wings disappearing in one shot.

- Sometimes, their wings fold back in a way they disappear completely behind their bodies and hair. It’s annoying.

- Gurl, you can’t just throw the spell at him like that. Doesn’t Damien have to want the flame back for this to work?

- Hey Damien, you see Vexius destroying things left and right, and working with the Trix, and using the LITERAL FORCES OF DARKNESS, right? Think he might be evil and a liar"?

- Only saying this cuz Winx clearly equates darkness with evil every time.

- “What was that?” A bucket of chicken, Stella.

- “Let go!” Bloom, if you start singing “Let it Go” to complete the Frozenification, I’m going to look my mind.

- This power up is hideous. I already hated Bloom’s base fairy form, but this is giving a bad Wonder Woman cosplay.

- Again, Bloom flies offscreen to change outfits. There’s no actual onscreen transformation.

- What even changed to let Bloom control the flame like this? Daphne just gave her a generic pep talk.

- This is making me miss the fight scenes of Lost Kingdom and Magical Adventure. This looks so bad.

- Lowkey reminding me of that promo art where Ogron was fighting Proto Reboot Bloom with a dark dragon.

- Flora taking the hit cuz she has to remain the series punching bag.

- Damien, you clearly care about Flora, but you’re cool with Vexius nearly killing her???

- “I am the dark lord! I am not afraid of a TWEEN!” Meme this into oblivion, my minions. MEMEIFY IT.

- Also, anyone unironically calling themselves the dark lord automatically should never be taken seriously.

- “But Flora can’t fly!” Y’all idiots are flying as you’re holding her right now!!!

- So… Damien is still with Vexius? GURL WHY? You clearly see he’s evil, and you’re upset he hurt Flora. The status quo remains unchanged.

- Also, what was the point of Damien getting back his Dragon Flame IF HE WAS GONNA STICK WITH VEXIUS???”

- So what the hell is gonna be the point of the Trix from here?

- “We’re heroes!” No we aren’t. Sure, Vexius technically doesn’t have the Dragon Flame anymore, but he still has access to it through Damien. And they’re both still on the loose. What’s really changed?

- “Back on Gardenia.” Gurl, Gardenia is not a planet.

- “Why didn’t my parents on Gardenia tell me I had a twin brother?” WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID??? I AM ACTUALLY CRYING SOMEONE KILL ME.

- “Cheer up, girl. You got this.” Don’t you dare try and act like OG Faragonda, you fucking imposter.

- Tecna initiating the group cheer was cute, I will admit.

- This was so bad. They didn’t bother introducing us to the characters or world properly. It was just nonsense and boring fights. I’m not emotionally invested at all in these versions of the characters, or any of these stories.

- I can’t even imagine how lost newbies would be…

- I do not look forward to the back half of season 1. What the hell would even be left after all this speedrunning? Not to mention additional seasons…

- I look forward to the checks.

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 12

- “Lightrock Fortress.” Oh no. We’re gonna butcher Lightrock. Kill me.

- Fun fact: in Italian, the fortress and Daphne’s lake are both called Roccaluce. Rocca means “fortress,” and luce means “light.” I assume “Lightrock” was coined because “rocca” sounds like “rock.”

- The fact no one has told us who the fuck Vexius actually is.

- “We should check Bloom’s parents’ house on Earth. That’s where she ran off to the last time.” She didn’t though? She ran to school and then got dragged home after.

- Yes it feels nitpicky BUT LEMME HAVE THIS.

- “2 weeks ago”? Wait, but that was episode 4, at the start of the year. Yet y’all had midterms just last episode. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

- Why would Vexius wanna destroy an old fortress that’s no longer in use???

- Did we need a transformation for them to just fly away from Alfea?'

- Uh… is Bloom on Domino? How the fuck did she get here? That’s another planet. Did she just… fly there through space???

- Also, the clouds look so bad and out of place.

- The stairs just… appear before her. Okay then. No effort on Bloom’s part I guess.

- Oh god, Lightrock, what have they done to you?! It doesn’t look bad, but it’s got nothing on the OG.

- Honestly, I don’t mind Lightrock being retooled this way. It feels almost like an old temple or shrine on Domino. But I do kinda miss it being this temple of monks where people get rehabilitated.

- Why did Bloom de-transform? Wouldn’t you assume your fairy form would be best for this kinda environment?

- Is this holographic freak supposed to be Bartleby? Glad they ruined his color palette.

- “Are you an android?” “More or less.” Uh… no? An android is a physical thing — a robot meant to resemble a human. This is clearly a hologram.

- “He was the OG of the Company of Light!” I wanna die.

- Wait, so Oritel was the previous holder of the Dragon Flame? Did he give it up when Bloom and Damien were born?

- Granted, I never liked it randomly manifesting in Bloom in the original. Long live the 4Kids lore of Daphne being the OG holder and giving it to Bloom to protect both her and the Flame.

- Why is no one just sitting down and giving us context? We keep throwing out facts and tidbits as if we should know who these characters they keep mentioning are, but if this is a reboot, YOU HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THE PEOPLE WHO WON’T KNOW.

- Not Palladium going bug eyed.

- “Down on the ground!” Insert Palladium being gay joke here.

- I just realized this new version of Lightrock is giving the Crystal Castle from the She-Ra reboot.

- Why did Bloom… randomly spin and act all weird in the mirror? The fuck was that???

- Also, her reflection changed drastically between shots. One moment she’s fully clear, and glowing, and the next her image is obscured.

- Oritel looks like he’s wearing a onesie.

- DAPHNE IS HIDEOUS, OH GOD.

- Tecna downloading an emotions patch is giving technofeudal dystopia.

- Obligatory gift shop joke.

- So Bloom figured out this Tecna was a fake, but she doesn’t think Musa and Aisha are?

- “You’ll only have time to save one of your besties.” I hate it here.

- This is giving Saw.

- But if she knows they’re all fake, then why is she acting like they’re real?

- And also, we’ve seen the girls use their magic to help someone float without having to grab them. What’s stopping Bloom from doing that to save both Flora and Stella?

- Also also, this would matter more if the girls actually felt like friends. They do not. They can both go to hell for all I care.

- Wait, so… the plan was throw the pillar down so they’d both land on it? GURL, that would require so much luck. And they just… both perfectly land on it as it gets wedged? Insane. Stupid. And also horribly animated.

- Bartleby is trying so hard to be funny. I hope he’s rotting in techno hell.

- I will admit, this water room is very pretty. I dig water rooms with lots of dramatic pillars and shadow, and I actually appreciate that it’s mostly green to contrast with Daphne’s gold.

- Why is Daphne googly eyed? It’s giving Clamantha.

- She looked so much better in Lost Kingdom. How does a 2007 movie look better than a 2025 series?

- Seriously, I cannot make out ANY detail on her model except those fucking EYES.

- Oh good. The twin reveal.

- “Something that had never happened before!” Except in terrible AI-generated fan fictions.

- So… Damien just believes Vexius that Bloom’s family stole half the Dragon Flame? Oh my God. I get we need drama, but this is so dumb.

- Vexius is giving Disney direct-to-video sequel villain… which is an insult, cuz at least some of them were icons. cough Morgana from Little Mermaid 2.

- Vexius’ evil laugh face is CURSED. CURSED I SAY.

- “To Lightrock Lake.” Uh… what? It’s not a lake. It’s a fortress. Unless that water at the beginning of the episode was the lake???? But… why did no one say it was that???

- Also, does that mean that icy lake is still on Magix, and not Domino? WHAT’S HAPPENING???

- “I’m not evil, Damien. Sure, I destroyed an entire academy and sent its headmaster to hell, but they needed repairs anyway!” Damien, you absolute nimrod.

- This weird dragon thing is really giving discount Toothless.

- Wait, but I thought the fortress only showed itself to the worthy. You mean it doesn’t close after someone enters? It just… stays open? Like a barn door? WHAT IS WITH ALL THE SHIT SECURITY?

- How the hell did Vexius get to Lightrock before the Winx? THEY WERE ALREADY AT THE LAKE.

- So they just… hung outside like weirdos waiting for Vexius? They didn’t think to go inside? What if he never showed up? Y’all would’ve been floating there like nimrods for ages.

- Not the Trix suddenly appearing in one shot. This feels like a parody.

- So, is Vexius actually using that corrupting magic on Damien that he used on Bloom? Cuz that’s what the purple eye glow thingy is giving.

- Is it like Tritannus, where you have to hit him with it every so often so he stays evil?

- Bloom doesn’t even try shielding herself. She just… lets Vexius shoot her. Okay.

- The tonal whiplash of Bloom being shot and falling unconscious to “FROM NOW OOOON.”

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 11

- “A New Enemy.” Is it though? We’ve fought Vexius several times by now.

- So Kiko can only show up as cameos now, including fire bunnies… I hate you, Rainbow.

- What was that animation? The rabbit’s movements are so clunky and poorly telegraphed.

- Oh, now it’s a frog. Fuck Kiko, I guess.

- Okay, so I’m assuming this is a test to show focus and control over one’s magic. I’m assuming Bloom won’t be making fire summons like this unless they’re the Great Dragon, though.

- Three-word Latin spell again. Ugh.

- Why does this moment give Bloom having a crush on Robin?

- I kinda like the idea of Redfountain being in a desert, but… why? And also where is it on Magix? Like what is the layout of this planet?

- When Sky saluted Saladin, he was looking up… when Saladin is very short. Aye.

- “Their story checks out.” It does? Y’all just… looked at their faces and nothing more.

- You three need to take acting classes.

- Actually, yeah, why didn’t Darcy just hypnotize the specialists into letting them in?

- What’s the point of the Trix putting on disguises if they’re just immediately gonna get caught?

- Wow. One blast was all it took to take down the security. Redfountain’s not even trying.

- And suddenly there’s a barrier around Redfountain? Why haven’t we seen it in any shot up until this point? Every time we’ve seen Redfountain, there’s been no visible barrier. And if there was one up, how would the Trix even reach the entrance?

- Once again, a too-long transformation sequence. This has to be to pad the runtime, right?

- The way the frame couldn’t even center the Winx as they flew.

- “Look, up there!” Why did he whisper that?

- Vexius is just such a stock-standard villain. Generic design, generic dialogue, generic and vague backstory. His powers aren’t even interesting. Even Darkar and the Black Circle were more interesting and intimidating than him.

- This really is giving Valtor at home. Like, Vexius wants to be Valtor invading Alfea and Cloudtower so bad.

- The way the specialists’ weapons and vehicles look, sound, and feel like toys.

- Isn’t it a little soon to be destroying one of the major colleges? At least in the original, we had a whole season to be acquainted with classic Redfountain before the Trix destroyed it. And that was an actual invasion. This is just one very boring man waltzing in and trashing the place.

- “Flame Wall!” Not to be confused with Bloom’s Fire Wall… or Tecna’s Fire Wall.

- “Vexius is Damien’s father!” Bitch, how did you know that? I mean, it should be obvious to all of y’all since you saw him in Damien’s nightmare, but why did only Flora figure it out?

- What even is the difference between Solar Flare and Burning Sun?

- Half the time, I can’t see Vexius’ eyebrows.

- Why are Bloom, Stella, and Musa suddenly falling? We didn’t see them get hit by Vexius’ attack.

- “FALLING WHEN WE ALL HAVE WINGS!”

- Okay, Flora using Blossoming Bud to catch them was cool.

- I wanna appreciate Saladin being a powerhouse, cuz he never got to do jack shit in the original, but this is just so poorly animated and dull, and Saladin doesn’t even really qualify as a character.

- Why did they all stay frozen in their cheer poses for an entire shot?

- Okay, I do like there being a dark Great Dragon.

- Oh, Saladin got sent to Omega. Bye bitch, lmfao.

- Why is Omega green? It’s an ice prison associated with blue. But the green gave Oblivion.

- “Sorry, there is no way back from there.” Says the bitch who escaped it.

- They really want this to be an emotional scene, but like… we weren’t attached to Saladin at all. I don’t care. I barely care about the main cast.

- “We’re taking Vexius on!” Love the lack of expression in Bloom’s face.

- Love Faragonda and Griffin showing up after all the destruction, and after Saladin gets sent to hell.

- Why did y’all bring Wizgiz? Of all the professors to bring…

- So… I get Vexius betrayed Oritel or whatever, but what was their relationship before that? Why did he do that? Did he work directly with the Ancestral Witches? This is just demanding so many goddamn questions I know will either not get answered, or will have stupid, nonsensical, lazy answers.

- Why did Robin say it like that? “Use your healing spells”???

- Diaspro telling off Sky while his school is in ruins… I just, y’all really went overboard.

- Was that a breakup? If it was that easy, WHY HAVEN’T Y’ALL BEEN BROKEN UP???

- So the Trix told Griffin they worked for Vexius… but there’s no further consequences? I’m assuming Griffin knows who Vexius is, and yet the Trix working with him is only worthy of a punishment??? Forget expulsion, THIS CALLS FOR PRISON.

- I love them talking like we have any idea who Oritel, Marion, and Daphne are.

- Faragonda’s gasp was so… unnecessary? But also disgusting.

- How did Bloom break the stone? It was fully solid. It wouldn’t just crumble like that immediately.

- I don’t get why Bloom would think her power was stolen when she clearly still has hers?

- I love how Bloom is clearly upset and distraught, and yet her vocals indicate neither of those things.

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 10

- “Stella’s New Crush.” CAN WE PLEASE GET CREATIVE WITH THESE TITLES. PLEASE.

- I wanna like Flora’s potion briefcase, but I do not.

- “You always scowl when something’s wrong.” Yes, Musa, and most people cry when they’re sad.

- “The Dragon Flame is just a legend.” Oh no. Is this gonna be like RWBY going “There’s no such thing as magic”?

- Wait, but Domino only fell 16 years ago. That’s nothing. Which means there was a Dragon Flame wielder barely over a decade ago. That’s not long enough for something to slip into legend!

- “The most powerful power you can have!” I… I give up.

- “We have each other’s backs, no matter what!” WHY ARE Y’ALL ACTING LIKE BESTIES???

- The way we’ve only seen one glimpse of Redfountain up until this point.

- “Prince Luke” is giving surfer-dude Sky.

- Okay, I like this subplot of Stella being worried about dating a non-prince because of her parents. I did love Stella’s confidence in their love in the original after the Sky reveal, but I do feel like things like this can make for interesting conflicts.

- Why did Damien need the wind to open the door before teleporting? What was the point of that?

- Why did Vexius wait this long to train Damien with his magic? What’s the point of kidnapping him and raising him as your own if you’re not gonna take full advantage of that?

- No establishing shot of Redfountain… okay, sure.

- Why are the Winx acting like these episodes are new? Y’all wore them already on the camping trip.

- The way they haven’t introduced us to or even mentioned Saladin and Codatorta yet. If you didn’t know the show… well, you’d already be hopelessly confused, but you wouldn’t know who the hell these two are.

- Oh god, Flora’s skirt when she’s crouched looks horrible. It looks so stiff and badly deformed.

- Saladin’s voice is TERRIBLE. It’s giving fake old man voice.

- “She reminds me of something.” Do Faragonda and Griffin not talk to Saladin at all? Have they not told him about Bloom having the Dragon Flame? Cuz if so… the Domino thing would be EVEN MORE OBVIOUS.

- Time for an awkwardly place, dated online dating PSA! Seriously, this is giving ‘90s stranger danger. What boomer wrote this?

- The way I want Bloom and Brandon to be actual friends so bad. Like, can we get more friendships between Winx and specialists who aren’t dating?

- Why is Stella wearing this cheap-ass plastic crown?

- “You’re the one who tripped over that trashcan!” Okay that was cute.

- Is the bouncer supposed to be the Trix’s monster in disguise?

- God I miss Knut.

- Okay, Bloom’s joke about the front and back doors was genuinely funny, and felt like… dare I say? 4Kids Bloom.

- Did they just propel the monster into space? It looked very bad.

- Brandon… tearing his pants. Okay then. I ain’t touchin’ this.

- Okay, so this is basically the “Date with Disaster” episode, but retooled… and worse. I mean, I guess it makes sense that the Trix wanna use Stella as a hostage to get the Dragon Flame.

- STOP WITH THE FUCKING TRIX SONG, OH MY GOD.

- Icy, you can’t just make an ice spear and then do nothing with it and then never do it again!!!

- “Guys, look out!” Usually you say that if someone doesn’t see an attack coming. All three of y’all were standing right in front of her.

- And Brandon’s pants were magically fixed offscreen.

- “Try your moves from this morning!” That felt very Dora the Explorer coded.

- That was such a slow-moving fireball…

- The vines aren’t even touching the Trix, yet they’re acting completely trapped.

- ENOUGH WITH THE PSA STUFF. OH MY GOD. WHO IS THIS FOR?!

- I wanna like this Stella subplot so bad.

- Oh, the random bad-fade white boi is here… they’re really gonna force him and Aisha together, aren’t they? F in the chat for Nabu… oh, and Helia, I guess.

- Does he even have a name???

- Why did Vexius’ hair go from gray to black suddenly?

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 9

- “The Simulation Room.” I love that we’re not even trying with out episode titles.

- Also, not gonna lie, I still call it the magical reality chamber. Bless 4Kids terminology.

- Gurl I just said that song is a miss. Please stop playing it.

- Okay, so having to face your fears is a good plot. Generally good idea. And I like the magical reality chamber being tied into that. But the fact that your fears are on display FOR YOUR ENTIRE CLASS??? So we gotta get re-traumatized publicly to pass? Someone please shut down this school.

- My simulation room test would probably be the Winx reboot being the only Winx content I could ever consume again.

- Bloom saying that being dragged to Faragonda’s office is scary is so telling. In the original, Faragonda might’ve been strict, but she was first and foremost kind. She was a fairy godmother figure, always compassionate and caring and wise, and you felt safe around her. This Faragonda? I expect her to lecture me for defending myself from evil, and then to continue letting the evil torment me.

- “Your studies have suffered.” Can we see this please? Instead of being told this randomly?

- I love that all the generic spells — like for portals or other miscellaneous shit — are just three Latin words thrown together.

- Vexius just barging into the library and presumably killing a teacher… Faragonda and Griffin don’t sense that? But they could sense the fight in the city last episode???

- Also, the fact Barbatea only shows up now, is unnamed, and to my memory never is shown again for the rest of the season. No one even mentions her going missing or something happening to her. Like, did Vexius actually kill her and no one cares???

- The way only the Winx and Trix go into the simulation room, and none of the background students. Amazing.

- I get Bloom’s afraid of hurting her friends with her magic, but the way that they just teleported in front of her attack, and they all presumably die a horrible fiery death? Is very funny.

- “BLOOM! SAVE US!!!” Accurate summation of seasons 4 and onward.

- This also feels so odd. We still don’t have a solid understanding of these characters in their status quo, and they don’t feel like friends, yet we’re already being thrown into the deep end of their darkest fears???

- Radius looks HORRIFYING. Like a true GREMLIN.

- Wait, if he' represents the sun, why is he wearing a crescent moon necklace?

- I love that everyone else has these emotionally resonant fears of hurting loved ones, being looked down on, being a disappointment, meanwhile Flora’s is just, “OH NO I CAN’T SAVE TREES!!!” Like wow, for being Iginio’s favorite, he doesn’t seem to think about who she is very much.

- I think Lola made this exact joke when we talked about the Nightmare Gargoyle episode, lmfao.

- Tecna’s nightmare was definitely the best. That felt accurate to her character, and genuinely upsetting. I can see neurodivergent people especially relating to her in this scenario.

- Musa’s nightmare was good until the monsters just randomly attacked her father. That just killed the tone.

- Aisha’s nightmare has the same problem as Musa’s, but worse. Why is she suddenly transported to this random desert with an altered version of the monster from episode 5? What does that have to do with her parents being disappointed in her???

- Also, don’t think I didn’t notice y’all recycling that monster model and changing it slightly.

- I wanna like the Trix’s nightmare, where they all clearly distrust each other, but that doesn’t work when we don’t understand them as characters. I’d be hoping for some insight into who they actually are on their own.

- Darcy’s scream as she runs forward is so cursed.

- Icy’s running animation looks so meme-worthy.

- Damien’s clearly worried about his father’s identity being revealed by the simulator. That’s actually a nice touch.

- The Damien plot twist is obvious, but I’m assuming he and Bloom’s nightmares are in the same area cuz this is the ruins of Domino.

- Weird Bloom doesn’t realize they’re the same place though.

- Also, why would they both imagine Domino? They would’ve been newborns when it fell, meaning there’s no way even subconscious memories could’ve formed around it.

- How do the Winx not recognize Vexius as the fake music agent form last episode? His face is clearly visible.

- The Winx just… overcoming their fears no problemo is so anticlimactic.

- It’s giving Aisha telling Bloom and Stella to get their shit together in the Labyrinth of the Abyss.

- Okay, Flora’s Blossoming Bud spell is cute. I’ve always wanted her to have an actual closed flower for a shield.

- Not Flora being worried for Damien as a victim of actual abuse. It feels so weird to have that kind of real-ass conflict in such an insincere show.

- We really didn’t need Vexius and Damien. Why couldn’t it just be the Trix this first season as our villains?

- Oh, so… Faragonda just tells Bloom about her power. Not only is it super early, but Bloom doesn’t even get to go on a journey of trying to figure it out herself. It was a big deal that kept her an active protagonist, and ultimately, it being revealed by the Trix as they take her power was a devastating blow. A memorable moment. This just feels like a damn checklist.

- Also, Bloom having the Dragon Flame, but no one making the Domino connection… even though it’s clear by this point the Dragon Flame is from Domino???

- “There are dark forces that want to steal your Dragon Flame.” Like the Trix — WHO YOU KEEP PARDONING.

- The way Faragonda and Griffin already suspect it to be Vexius, but refuse to say his name, even when nobody else is in the room. It’s giving Ozpin’s council of losers in RWBY.

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 8

- I just now realized the intro has the shot of Bloom and Flora flying where Bloom’s skirt disappears.

- “Rock and Roll Fairies…” I don’t hate the title

- Oh the outro is playing? Is the suffering over already?

- Why does the poster have a better art style than the show?

- “Let’s get these posters up!” Weren’t y’all already doing that?

- Why is Stella designing an outfit for Bloom in the middle of the courtyard? Wouldn’t you do this in the dorm, where other people can’t get in your way or distract you?

- Not Bloom teleporting over to Musa in just one shot…

- The fact I can’t tell which of these are BBC edits “for brevity” and which are just… the show.

- Will admit, a villain posing as an agent to get close to Musa and the Winx is a good plot. I remember when season 4 came out, part of me felt like Jason was evil, cuz his face looked like Ogron’s, and… idk, he gave slimy. Then again, he was a music agent.

- The way Stella’s pigtails refuse to move with her. They just.. hang there like blocks of plastic.

- I’m having season 6 fashion flashbacks.

- Stella’s eyes didn’t close fully as she did the hug. It’s disgusting.

- I do like that Tecna doesn’t realize her words can upset others. That’s a good flaw that feels true to her.

- Not Timmy actually looking good in orange.

- But like Sky, he is inexplicably wearing two jackets.

- The physics of that fall make no sense. Brandon wouldn’t just float down holding the fabric. The momentum would make him just swing down and slam into the stage.

- Flora’s hair doesn’t really move either. It just moves like it’s all glued in place.

- That Riven glance was very weird. It felt like OG Riven was possessing him briefly.

- The fact we have to overplay how much Diaspro sucks to justify Bloom and Sky emotionally cheating.

- We haven’t even explained why Sky is with her, so it also makes Sky look worse. Dude, if you don’t like her, just break up with her.

- Why is Musa so into Riven? We don’t know anything about him… or her.

- “Mister Dumand”? Did you just take Duman’s name and add a “D”?

- This look is giving corporate twink death.

- Bloom is Musa’s co-writer? Since when? I would’ve liked to see that process.

- “The Winx wouldn’t be the same without you!” Y’all just met, relax.

- Oh not the random drop of Musa’s mom dying. Gurl what?

- In the original, Musa brought it up cuz it was the Day of the Rose, which got her and Stella talking about why they weren’t going home to see their families. It was a situation that called for it. This just feels so random.

- “Riven can be moody and not fun to be around.” You know this how? I have no grasp of 99% of this cast.

- Okay, so the reveal that Riven is a guitarist and is playing Musa’s song? That’s cute, I like that. But again, we don’t know him well enough for this to hit. This is only refreshing cuz I’m used to him being trash in the original.

- And again, what narrative purpose does he serve now that Damien is filling his role as a spy?

- I love that the city empties out whenever the Trix wanna randomly attack.

- Not Icy ripping off Frozone with the plastic-looking ice bridge.

- Darcy can seal it off just like that? Why?

- Okay, I do like Musa using her speakers more often, and Stormy reversing them on her kinda ate.

- Wait, Riven just got through Darcy’s spell to reach Bloom and Musa? Wasn’t the point of this to keep people away? But if people can see the big purple cloud of doom, and also move through it no problem, wouldn’t that just attract more attention?

- Also why does it look like jelly?

- Back on the note of Riven not turning on us. If he’s a good guy, and doesn’t become a spy for the Trix, what was the point of Darcy’s crush on him?

- Not the Trix attack being pointless. If you removed it from the episode, nothing would change, aside from Riven coming out as a decent person.

- Okay, Riven coming onstage to play with Musa and give her confidence was really sweet. This moment alone has more chemistry and strength than their entire history in the original series put together. Congrats, reboot, you did one thing better… even though it means Riven is now pointless.

- Also, this song is… eh. I’m sorry, Elisa, but I’m not feeling it.

- Why did Diaspro randomly flash her ring? I get we needed Bloom to be upset and walk away so she’d be vulnerable, but that was so random. She wasn’t even waving in excitement. She was waving it like she was showing it off to someone.

- “I don’t care about Musa!” Iginio, is that you?

- Does Bloom not remember Vexius’ voice from when he turned her dark? Or seeing him while she was Dark Bloom?

- I do like that you can’t take the Dragon Flame by force. It makes for potentially interesting conflicts, and lowkey reminds me of the rule-based magic in W.I.T.C.H.

- Why was this transformation sequence so goddamn long?

- Love the specialists getting ready to help only to be immediately knocked out.

- So this fight is happening while the crowd is just… waiting up front? Why are people in this city so oblivious?

- Aisha’s water magic looks terrible.

- Water Ball? That’s the best name we could come up with.

- Love Bloom just walking right into the attack to get her fire extinguished. Idiot.

- Will Flora’s vines ever look good?

- I just realized Tecna’s barely done any magic aside from shields and spheres. No electricity blasts or anything?

- Of course Faragonda and Griffin arrived facing the Winx, so they wouldn’t see Vexius before he fled. Ugh.

- Wait, so they can sense Vexius’ dark magic all the way over in Magixia, but they can’t sense him constantly teleporting around Alfea or turning Bloom dark?

- Not Riven being emotionally supportive of Musa.

- The Winx Band is here for merch, and of course Bloom’s the lead singer.

- I feel like Rainbow has to hear us yelling the same things over and over, and they do this purely out of spite.

- This dancing animation is horrifying. Bloom looking right into the camera will haunt me.

- That bit where all six of them are dancing makes them look like actual dolls.

- Sorry Elisa, but this song is also a miss.

- “Maybe the time has come to tell her that she’s no ordinary fairy.” CUZ SHE’S NO ORDINARY GIRL! SHE’S FROM THE DEEP BLUE UNDERWORLD!

- “I know you, Bloom. You’re kind, and you have a good heart.” Wow. What a specific compliment. Because this Bloom has literally NO CHARACTER WHATSOEVER.

- Why do they use this goddamn Trix song SO MANY FUCKING TIMES? I AM SO SICK OF IT.

- Did we need the ugly zoom into Vexius’ eye?

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 7

- “Dark Bloom.” Ideally I’d like to get to know actual Bloom before y’all go and turn her evil, but okay. Sure.

- Why does Griffin’s dress look better animated than almost anything else in this show?

- Okay, this angle of Griffin raising the Trix as her daughters is interesting. I’d like to know more about that.

- Is this also why the Trix have kept getting away with shit? Nepotism? You’d think someone would’ve mentioned that by now. Like, “Oh yeah, the Trix — they’re Griffin’s daughters.” You’d assume it’d be common knowledge on campus.

- Why is she confronting them in the hall? Does she not have an office? Could she not confront them in their dorm? This seems like such a random, unfitting, inappropriate place to do this.

- The shot of Griffin taking the Trix’s powers, and the camera panning to her holding them in her hand, THAT WAS GOOD. WHY IS THAT THE ONE GOOD SHOT???

- Not Palladium randomly showing up after all these episodes.

- Are the two flames supposed to be moving like the yin-yang symbol? I kinda like that.

- Musa has an upcoming concert? Since when?

- Aisha’s dance wasn’t all that impressive, I’m sorry. All the camera sound effects just made it worse.

- So we’re leaning into Aisha having a strict upbringing. At least that stuck.

- This all still feels so… bare bones, because we haven’t gotten to know these girls very well at all.

- “YOU FAIL, AND YOU FAIL, AND YOU FAIL AGAIN.” Me at Rainbow.

- Love Damien YELLING from the gates for help, but ONLY Bloom follows him. Nobody else goes. Nobody else goes to notify Faragonda or any of the other teachers to go investigate. Like, why wouldn’t Damien just go ask Bloom for help?

- “I can bring forth the darkness from within someone’s heart.” Okay… why? Can you do this to anyone?

- If it was so easy for Vexius to turn Bloom evil, WHY DIDN’T HE DO THAT BEFORE?

- Also, has he done this to Damien? Damien seems too sweet and nice on the inside to have been corrupted.

- I laughed when I saw Dark Bloom. So… dyed hair, a leather jacket, dark lipstick, and fishnets constitute evil? Amazing.

- Also, way to lean into the superficial bullshit I just made fun of during the fairy-or-witch ceremony.

- So does Dark Bloom just… not know she’s been corrupted? Is she mindless? Cuz regardless, I feel like she wouldn’t wanna be anyone’s tool like Vexius wants.

- Aisha’s parents are so stuffy, holy shit. Like ridiculously so.

- “Please don’t address us as Mother and Father in public.” Wtf? But you literally are, though, and those are usually terms nobles do use since they’re considered more formal than “Mom” or “Dad.” Like this is just comical.

- If I recall correctly, the specialist dancing that catches Aisha’s attention gave black in the animatics, mostly from his skin tone and hair. But this… this is a white boy with a bad fade.

- Oh god, this terrible Trix song again.

- “What did she mean about dancing?” Uh… it’s a common idiom. No one hears “dancing around” something and thinks it’s literal.

- This Dark Bloom is so… boring. It’s like a boomer’s idea of a punk. There’s no indication this is Bloom letting her inhibitions go; like it’s a darkness she already had. Mostly cuz this Bloom doesn’t seem to have any flaws (at least not acknowledged ones).

- “Later, skater.” Not her thinking she ate.

- “You wanna kidnap me?!” This would hit more if this were an actual fear Bloom had that the darkness amplified.

- “Technically, yes.” Okay Tecna ate that one.

- Wow. They took her transformation and just changed the facial expressions and colors… aye.

- I love that they haphazardly cut her smile because it was too happy, and they didn’t wanna re-animate an evil one.

- I wanna like the black-and-red flames, but I heard someone joke that it looks like period blood and I can’t unsee it.

- Where the hell are the professors while Dark Bloom is rampaging? And why is no one else doing anything?

- Dark Bloom summoning the Great Dragon is kinda cool.

- So Bloom really only got Fireball, Fire Burst, and… Fire Wall?

- Also, Tecna already has Firewall, so… what gives?

- “Tecna, hold on!” Aisha says as she does nothing. Gurl, can’t you try and extinguish the flames?

- Love nobody else trying to protect Musa when she gets hurt. Y’all are just… floating there doing nothing???

- This is so… ugh. These girls don’t feel like friends, yet Faragonda’s like, “Remember your fondest memories. All two of them.”

- “Something from your hearts.” As opposed to our kidneys???

- Not gonna lie, the “focus on positivity” is also giving toxic positivity. It gave me war flashbacks to both the RWBY and Winx fandoms being like, “STOP CRITICIZING!!!”

- Most of these memories aren’t even actual moments of friendship between the girls. They’re just… things that happened.

- This is the first song in a while I haven’t hated. It’s… fine, but the scene kills it.

- The audacity to have a poster of the girls all together on the dorm wall when they ARE BARELY FRIENDS.

- And it’s from all the promos when they had different outfits… probably before they started using the gen AI…

- Why did Vexius open the doors if he was just gonna teleport away?

- Musa bonding with Bloom with her coping mechanism is kinda cute, at least.

- Aisha’s parents are so upset about her dancing is… insane. They’re acting like they just witnessed her commit a felony.

- The fabric on Teredor and Niobe’s clothes looks so plastic.

- “We’ve never looked at it that way before.” Not Faragonda’s basic-ass statement being treated like it’s revolutionary.

- The hug felt so out of place. Like, we’re supposed to be happy her parents came around, but I’m just going, “They suck. Who cares what they think?”

- “My parents never hug me!” Call CPS.

- Love Faragonda dismissing Aisha thanking her just so she can ask Bloom how she is.

- How did the girls fall? Was that supposed to be a tackle, cuz… it looked so sudden and bad.

Winx Reboot Notes Episode 6

- “Into the Woods.” How dare y’all make me think of how much I’d rather be watching that musical, and even that aggressively mediocre film adaptation.

- Are we in Gloomywood Forest? Cuz the woods around Alfea don’t look nearly this fantasy coded, even around the reserve.

- We’re starting in medias res? Weird. At least the sun transition was decent.

- Wait, Alfea has lockers? Why? Lockers make sense on Earth to hold your belongings, but y’all have magic… and huge-ass dorms.

- They look so out of place with the wanna-be dark academia / fantasy aesthetic…

- Also, they look GARGANTUAN in proportion to the girls…

- At least Flora is excited to camp while Stella dreads it.

- “So did that sound as cringetastic in your head as it did out loud?” Me asking the writers about the scripts they had ChatGPT generate.

- “And here we are!” That’s… that’s it? Why did we need to start in medias res? Usually you do that to jumpstart the story in the midst of a desperate situation, or a crisis, and then cut back to show how we got there. But… this wasn’t that. Y’all could’ve just started with the explanation of the camping trip, then cut to the forest.

- Again, WHERE IS THIS FOREST? WHAT IS THE GEOGRAPHY AND LAYOUT OF THIS WORLD???

- So Stella decided to not only wear heels, but ugly plastic heels that don’t even match her outfit? And top that off with an ugly side ponytail… ew.

- Not them refusing to animate her even putting on the shoes.

- This… glut beast(???) looks SO. OUT. OF. PLACE.

- So, is that supposed to show Bloom’s respect for nature?

- Okay, so… what were those shadow monsters Vexius briefly summoned? I don’t recall seeing them again when I first watched this half of the season.

- The silhouettes kinda gave Lord Darkar.

- I thought the Trix needed something to help them steal Bloom’s flame. Do we just… not need that anymore?

- So Damien is a fire warlock, and I assume Vexius knows he’s Oritel’s son, cuz like… he’d had to have kidnapped and raised him. Again, WHY DOES NO ONE CONSIDER DRAGON FLAME???

- Damien wanting to make his terrible “father” proud should technically work. It’s the only character drama in this godforsaken show. Yet it’s so trite and overdone and bland that I can’t bring myself to care. Like, I’ve seen this kind of plot done so much better so many times.

- Why are we supposed to be in awe of this forest, exactly?

- At least the deer with flower antlers are cute.

- I just now realized Musa is wearing pink instead of red… I wanna jump off a cliff.

- Bloom’s hairstyle and bangs make her look like a Karen in human resources… wait, that’s a Linda.

- Bloom knowing how to camp because she did it back in Gardenia, and also starting the fire, is cute admittedly. Please let the girls act like normal humans and friends. PLEASE.

- The ice holding Robin looks like plastic.

- IS TECNA GONNA HAVE AN ACTUAL ARC? PLEASE GOD.

- Okay her expression when she pushed back the hair was cute… and kinda gay, ngl.

- Oh it’s over immediately.

- “I’ve never really had friends like you before.” Gurl, what friends? Y’all are barely acquaintances.

- “So I wrote this song this song thinking of us. All of us. The Winx Club.” And here I thought Tecna was supposed to be the one who sounded robotic and fake.

- Very bad song. And suddenly it has all this extra production and vocal layering besides Musa’s guitar. Like, it’s supposed to be diegetic (in-universe), yet there are nondiegetic production elements???

- I never wanna hear a character say “ship fic” ever again.

- Why are Sky and Diaspro dating again? Are they still engaged cuz of Sky’s father?

- “Those retro bangs are lowkey fire!” How are Brandon’s bangs retro? And yes, he should be thrown in a fire.

- I do like Stella being nervous about dating Brandon, since he’s not a prince. That’s the first time it’s felt like we’ve actually gotten to know about her and get something out of her.

- Why does the specialists’ training area look like a bad arcade?

- I could barely follow the choreography of Sky’s hoverboard.

- “Why would I be worried about Stella over anyone else?” Uh… why is he embarrassed? Brandon and Stella were always super proud of how into each other they were.

- Why are Damien and Flora supposed to be into each other? None of the romantic pairings have any chemistry… mostly cuz none of these characters feel real, but like, this feels extra weird.

- “After all the times they’ve embarrassed us!” Like when? All I recall is y’all tormenting the Winx.

- I do like Darcy tripping up Musa with the mind wave. But I wish there was more drama behind it, like maybe jealousy that Riven’s clearly into Musa.

- Not Timmy getting to beat up the Trix with the spaceship. That kinda eats tbh.

- Okay, Stella blinding Stormy with the mirror was clever.

- Not her surviving a direct hit of lightning.

- Not Aisha managing to freeze Icy’s hand with the water.

- Wait, where did the water come from? Was there a puddle, cuz I didn’t see one as she was dodging. And she has no magic to conjure it.

- Why did the sandwich sound so wet?

- Okay, Bloom using the pitcher tree to freeze the Trix ate. Why are there so many little clever moments all of a sudden? And that moment had actual setup too.

- Oh cool, we’re gonna blame the Winx for getting attacked by the Trix again. Faragonda, what is wrong with you? What did you want the Winx to do? Let the Trix kill them?

- “But the Trix—” “Are not your concern!” WHY DO Y’ALL PREFER THE TRIX???

- Okay, so we’re gonna praise Bloom for her leadership, but nobody else… okay great.

- That bit of Vexius watching Flora gave that he was gonna target her for getting close to Damien… and yet he never does. Ugh.

- Not gonna lie, I want Flora to strangle Vexius with vines for being so shitty to Damien.

- So this is the best episode so far. Though that’s like saying that lethal injection is a better way to go than by firing squad.

Winx Reboot Episode 5 Notes

- “The Shopping Trip.” Could we not come up with a better title?

- I hate that Magix City is now Magixia. Was it really that confusing that the planet and city had the same name? And y’all really thought it sounded better by tacking on the “-ia” suffix?

- Why is Griselda informing them that their project was incomplete now? Wouldn’t the professor of whatever class this is have said that before they tried leaving for the city?

- And an incomplete project is really enough to impose this kind of probation? When the Winx were locked at Alfea in the original, it was usually because they actively broke a rule, or it was because Valtor was wreaking havoc. It wasn’t just, “Oh, you messed up a tiny thing, so therefore fuck you!”

- I love Robin just following around Griselda the last couple episodes like a lost puppy.

- Griselda seems to hate the Winx more than Griffin. At least in the original, it felt like it made more sense with how the girls would actually break the rules. Here, Griselda’s just been going off for no reason.

- I do like Tecna being nervous of going to the city cuz of… people? Weird explanation, but I’d like to dig more into that.

- Seriously, Vexius looks so out of place. Even more so than Damien.

- I hate the city’s design so much. Why is it pastel pink?! It looks like a worse version of the set from the ME! music video.

- Also, why does Magix City (I refuse to call it Magixia) get to be pink, but Alfea doesn’t?!

- Why is there a tree that looks like it’s made of cancerous broccoli… or balloons… or green lollypops?

- This song as we see the city is very bad.

- I miss OG Bloom being disappointed that Magix City wasn’t Diagon Alley. It made her feel more human, and emphasized how different the Magic Dimension is from how we conventionally view magic.

- I do like the Winx being visibly interested in different parts of the city.

- Sky, Brandon, and Riven… but no Timmy. Fuck Timmy, I guess.

- Riven seems much less toxic than the original… thank you, God.

- But that also begs the question of why include him? At least in the original, his toxicity made him a spy for the Trix in the first season. Here, if he’s just generally cool, why is he here? What narrative purpose is he serving? It seems like Damien just soaked up a lot of his original role.

- Is it me, or does Stormy’s skin tone change drastically depending on the scene? Something she’s giving light skinned, and other times she’s giving white. It’s way too drastic to be just the lighting.

- The cars look so out of goddamn place, holy shit.

- Damien has… a magical salamander? Where the fuck did you get this thing from?

- I did find it odd that Alfea’s reserve only seemed to have changelings. There were no other creatures present, and it looks way to small to house anything else. Yet Damien just… has this named pet salamander outta nowhere.

- “You’re a fire-eating salamander.” Thanks, Damien, I don’t think the salamander knew that about himself.

- Why does Damien feel more like a protagonist than Bloom?

- Why is Musa using a UFO-themed garbage lid as a drum?

- What the hell are these floating orbs with leaves?

- “Bloom! Guys!” Have to remind the audience that Bloom is the most important.

- Not Stormy being in a different pose from one shot to another…

- How does no one on the bridge see the Trix floating behind them? They’re not even trying to hide.

- Why does everyone on the bridge look frozen in shock like they see a monster. Aren’t they all supposed to be listening to Musa and this random man playing music?

- The icicles had no weight to their animation at all, oh my God.

- This one background lady with the hoodie looks like she has two black eyes.

- Monster Sally looks like bootleg Toothless.

- Okay, luring Bloom away was too easy.

- Why is this part of the city just… empty?

- Once again, fire appearing in one frame.

- Oh my God. They tried to make it look darker, but there’s clearly just a blue-tinted filter over the screen. It’s like when people film during the day, then tack on a blue filter in post to make it look like night. It’s so, so bad, dear God.

- Is Darcy the one doing this? Cuz all I saw her do was disguise herself.

- The monster made its way over to Bloom, in this quiet part of the city, but nobody followed it? Nobody went to investigate the big monster?

- What were the added icicles for while pinning Bloom? Usually those are to restrict movement, but… they’re just there.

- Love that Bloom freeing herself didn’t even look like she was melting the ice. It just… shrunk. It kinda looked like she and the wall behind her absorbed it, which ew.

- Wouldn’t it make more sense to have Bloom take a bit to melt the ice and free herself, and use that to build tension as the monster approached?

- And immediately, blue filter is gone in one shot. Seriously, what the hell was that?

- Y’ALL HAVEN’T EVEN TRANSFORMED YET???

- Not Bloom trying to strike a superhero pose while flying.

- I do like Aisha having an actual wave spell.

- The monster hit a building with its tail, but the building is visibly undamaged. The debris just spawns out of nowhere.

- Flora’s vines look so thin and weak, consistently.

- I love that our attacks aren’t having any visible effect on the environment. Except the one that the plot needed to freak out the monster.

- Why did the camera pan down to Sky’s shoes? Wouldn’t you normally move upwards to end the shot on their face?

- The animation of Damien tackling Riven looked so bad. It’s so floaty and has no weight, and it’s so stiff.

- Random shot of Redfountain, even though we haven’t been given an establishing shot of Redfountain before now.

- Okay, Bloom luring the monster with her fire is smart on her part.

- I cackled when the monster yeeted Damien thusly.

- Also, his scream was so bad. It’s giving that recent game with the terrible acting. What is it called… Lost Souls Aside, yes.

- Can’t wait for the headmistresses to be mad at the Winx again, even though they didn’t spawn this monster and were actively trying to stop it and save the city.

- And Bloom was attacked by the Trix - AGAIN. And Icy said she wanted to steal Bloom’s powers - AGAIN. WHY ARE THE TRIX GETTING AWAY WITH THIS???

- “How dare you try to save the day. Learn from Team RWBY’s example and do nothing!”

- Oh also, why no punishment for Damien when we know that was his salamander? I also assume we will never see Sally again.

- I just realized Sally is short for Salamander… jail.

- Faragonda sealing the Winx’s powers looked like a bad dance.

- I love that they’re acting like the girls are all super close when I don’t know a damn thing about any of them in this version.

- Damien just… randomly showing the Dragon Flame… I guess cuz he felt nice that the girls like him???

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 4

- “A Trick by the Trix.” I just… ugh.

- So Darcy is blasting music… and it’s loud enough to reach Griffin’s office? How? What is the layout of this school? How close is the Trix dorm to her office?

- The speaker being a little skull is cute though.

- Haven’t mentioned it yet, but Darcy’s voice is… so unfitting.

- Why is Darcy obsessed with Riven? In the original, it was because Riven clearly had a shitty, bad boy air, but here Riven is barely enough of a presence to pick up on that.

- So Vexius can just appear in the Trix dorm? Alfea security is trash.

- I love Icy’s hair not reacting at all to her being levitated and held upside down.

- Vexius just casually dropping that he was Oritel’s bestie… okay, that’s kinda soon. And before we’ve even been told who Oritel is.

- So Vexius was a right-hand man who went rogue and betrayed Oritel and Marion. I assume there’s no reason why aside from “I felt like it.”

- Also why did he drop that lore. I assume the Trix would’ve already known, and it’s totally irrelevant to the current scene.

- “Pretty staff.” Did Darcy suffer brain damage?

- Vexius saying the staff is a key to the Omega Dimension. Again, why is he just dropping this as if he hasn’t said this to the Trix before? Can you say, “As you know Bob”?

- Okay, this won’t really be an issue ‘til later, but imma bring it up now. Damien is Bloom’s twin brother, and I assume Vexius kidnapped Damien to raise as his own after Domino’s fall. So… how would Vexius not know Damien has half the Dragon Flame if he knows Bloom has it?

- Also, how did Vexius get into Alfea if his father is public enemy number one? Does everyone think he’s an orphan or something, cuz no one’s said.

- Vexius is giving Valtor at home. Which is saying something, because season 8 Valtor was already giving Vexius at home.

- Icy’s grin is hideous.

- So the Trix just wanna gather an army of monsters from Omega… talk about underwhelming.

- Oh god, the flying animation looks so bad. You can tell the Winx were rendered on their own layer and then superimposed over this tracking shot. They look so out of place.

- The composition of the shots is also very bad.

- Oh love the recycled animation from Bloom’s transformation.

- Can we get to know these new versions of the characters before we’re told be in awe of them doing basic things.

- The dandelions aren’t fuzzy at all. They look like wads of gum or cotton candy.

- Love that they’re telling us about this war without telling us about the war. They’re talking as if we already know who the Ancestral Witches, Oritel, and the Company of Light all are.

- Okay, but who destroyed Cloudtower? Did the Ancestral Witches do that, or was Griffin on their side and turned after the Company of Light did? ANSWERS PLEASE.

- Once again, short-ass classes because we see them start and end in the same scene. Good lord.

- Bloom being knocked into Sky’s arms looked so floaty. Again, are we on the moon?

- Love there being no animation to these floating puzzle pieces disappearing.

- So Flora just… helped Bloom do the puzzle? Is that allowed?

- Diaspro transformed looks like a goddamn gremlin.

- Not that one fairy just flying right into the pole like she didn’t see it the whole time.

- “No harming your fellow students,” Griselda says while letting Darcy push Flora.

- AND SAME WITH ICY PUSHING BLOOM, WHAT??? Why does that not count as harm???

- I wanna like the idea of the girls following magic butterflies for a test, but this episode has just been so dull.

- Love the trophy appearing in one frame.

- This weird spider robot thing is hideous. It looks like it belongs in a video game.

- After Damien gets frozen, Stormy’s eyebrows disappear.

- “Flower Power”? Really? That’s our spell name? Well, I guess it’s better than Magical Vine Grab… why is the bar so low?

- So Damien was frozen, but now he’s in this… sphere of red energy?

- Flora’s slow-ass, single vine, oh my god. OG Flora would be growing an entire jungle to grab the monster.

- I can’t tell if them hitting it was meant to be slow motion, or if the animation is just that bad… yeah, it’s just that bad.

- “I don’t need to be rescued by anyone, let alone a fairy.” I see Damien absorbed Riven’s misogyny.

- If Damien doesn’t end the season a fairy, someone dies.

- So Griselda not only let the Trix get away with making Bloom and Flora fail, but she’s also cool with them endangering Damien, and fails Bloom and Flora for saving him? Isn’t it a fairy’s job to protect people??? Why are you telling your students that they should prioritize a trivial trophy over someone’s life???

- “Everything is allowed!” Except for harming other students, even though the Trix did cause much harm to other students, but that’s fine cuz they’re the Trix.

- Why did Faragonda have to tell Griselda off?

- OH GOD, the closeup of Sky’s smile is horrifying. He looks like his jaw is about to come loose as he swallows Bloom whole like the monster from Smile.

- “The Trix got away scot-free, again!” Get used to it, gurl…

- Not Bloom and Flora spotting Vexius yelling at Damien, but then not investigating.

- The animation of the feed going into the barrel was so bad and so stiff.

- They say the test was yesterday, but there was no indication of a passage of time.

- Okay, so where is the reserve on Alfea’s campus? Like, it’s too far away to see the main campus.

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 3

- “Winx versus Trix.” What a… lackluster episode title.

- Immediately, the monster is in the Winx’s dorm. HOW? How did no one see this giant, hulking beast waltz through campus and up into the dorm???

- Also, its thumbed feet are more visible here, and it makes me wanna vomit.

- Stella’s dorm is so boring.

- Why is the jewelry box a Russian nesting doll?

- So there’s no blackmail scenario or elaborate scheme to get Stella’s ring? All we needed was a giant obvious monster to walk in uninterrupted and take it?

- Why do the Trix even want the ring? They already know the Dragon Flame is in Bloom because of what Vexius told them.

- How would the Ring of Solaria help Bloom transform?

- They’re debating over whether it would work, but no one is saying why they think the way they do. They’re just saying, “It’ll work,” or “It won’t work” with no further elaboration.

- Why do Musa, Tecna, and Aisha care about whether Bloom can transform? They haven’t spent enough time together to feel like acquaintances, let alone friends.

- Even Stella and Flora don’t feel that close to Bloom.

- The animation of these scenes in the animatics were so much more expressive than this… embarrassing.

- When they stand up, Aisha looks cross eyed.

- So the Trix wanna use the ring for their magic-stealing spell? I guess that works, but it feels so… underwhelming.

- So right after stealing it, they realize they can’t use it and give up… in the same episode… at the very beginning. Can you say pointless?

- Why is there a random severed hand?

- “They’re so good at being bad!” Jail.

- I love that you can barely see the ashes while the girls investigate.

- The Alfea library… is fine. But why is everything in Alfea so gloomy?

- The other girls had to rush to class for the bell (still hate the bell), but Bloom can take a whole detour to the library… okay then.

- Why would Daphne randomly call out to Bloom in the middle of the day?

- Originally, Daphne’s voice only called out in moments of crisis, or in dreams. She couldn’t just call out whenever.

- I do like her leading Bloom to a book about Domino though… even if we didn’t get to read anything useful.

- “This section of the library is off limits!” This… looks like the main area.

- Another Wizgiz class. Palladium doesn’t exist I guess.

- “In her case, it’ll be a stop.” She really thought she ate…

- Once again, classes are so goddamn short.

- I love that no one can keep the pronunciation of Solaria consistent.

- Flora hugging Bloom’s head looks so goddamn weird and awkward.

- Why did Faragonda go to the Winx dorm specifically to tell them “lights out”? Does she do this with every dorm every night?

- How did we get all the way to Cloudtower? And where is Cloudtower even? In the original they gave us visuals of where the schools were in relation to each other. Here… nothing.

- I’m assuming Tecna’s menus are pulling the map from what Bloom found? Cuz otherwise, why did we even need to get the map from the library if Tecna could just scan the area herself?

- When Stella stays behind, she’s not looking around as if she’s hearing something. She just looks paralyzed.

- I still hate that this is just a random beast the Trix are using.

- Why does it have a miniature form? Did the Trix do this, or can the monster do that by itself?

- Also is this thing an ogre? Or generic fantasy beast?

- So we’re showing off the chain spell form class to accidentally release the monster… way to go, girls.

- My friend described this as very Dora the Explorer coded. Accurate.

- Every time they say “figuro,” my brain sings, “FIGARO!!!”

- When Stella throws up her hand to show the ring to the Trix, she doesn’t hold it to emphasize it. She just flicks her hand up and back down. Did someone fuck up the keyframes?

- There’s not even a fight between the Winx and Trix before Icy freezes most of them. What a rip off.

- “IT’S FALSE ADVERTISING!”

- “It’s called ice. Cold is the first thing on its resume!” Federal prison.

- In the animatics, Aisha’s spell was Plasma Ray, but here it’s… Hydro Blast? So Morphix and plasma have been gutted. Goddammit.

- Also, the effect looked terrible, as was the framing.

- The girls don’t even look scared or expressive as the icicles surround them. They just look… nonchalant.

- The Trix taunting Bloom by flying in circles around her… makes no sense.

- I love Bloom’s hair not moving as she spins.

- So they cut the specialists coming to escort the Winx back to Alfea. I don’t really care, cuz it didn’t add much in the animatics either. It just proves that it was a pointless inclusion.

- So here, they tell Faragonda about the Trix stealing Stella’s ring, which I do wish they did in the original. However, once again, FARAGONDA DOES NOTHING. The Trix get to keep breaking rules, terrorizing the Winx, stealing their things, even trying to steal their magic, and Faragonda’s like, “That’s fine.” But the Winx mess up a little bit and suddenly it’s the end of the world.

- The high-five animation was so disgusting. The frame starts on their hands already being raised and close together… and then they just slide together?

- Oh god, the shot-to-shot continuity. End of one shot, they’ve all got one hand raised in celebration. Then the next frame, Aisha already has her arm around Bloom’s shoulder. What’s happening???

- “This is amazing!” Ew.

- Why does Bloom look shocked at the end of that shot, and then immediately in the next shot she’s mid-dance???

- The pizza looks HIDEOUS.

- “You feeling okay, Bloom?” Literally nothing in the previous shots indicated Bloom feeling off.

- “Could it be the Dragon Flame?” Damn we’re just jumping right into it, holy shit.

- Vexius’ design, I can’t. He’s giving Jack Frost after 100 years of twink death.

- So the Trix are working for another man. We really can’t think of anything else to do with them, can we?

- And why would Vexius work with the Trix? Are they still the descendants of the Ancestral Witches? And who even is Vexius?

- Maybe establish the Trix as their own villains before you go throwing in ANOTHER big bad?

Yelling About The First Episode of the Winx Reboot for 42 Minutes

Gurl it's so bad.

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 2

Still trash. And anti-witch propaganda. Let's go.

- “Which Fairy Is Witch?” That title deserves federal prison.

- Again, why is Robin here? Why does she exist? And why does her outfit look like pajamas?

- Faragonda’s office feels so dark and cold, which kills me.

- In the original, Faragonda is a kind, warm presence. She was strict, but you always felt safe with her around, and her office reflected that — small, warm, and cozy.

- “The question is not what you did, Bloom, but was it for the right reasons?” What’re you even referring to? Trying to loosen the changelings’ collars, or going after them through the portal to Gardenia?

- And what does the “reasons” part have to do with anything? That would imply she had some self-serving ulterior motive, which… no? The reboot’s going out of its way to make Bloom a wholesome, flawless role model.

- Oh, so we’re gonna see if Bloom is a fairy or a witch… okay then. Weird, considering in the original you could choose to be either, like Mirta or Selina.

- Also, Bloom being terrified of being a witch, almost like the show believes being a witch is bad.

- “You must discover your true nature, and I’m afraid there isn’t much time.” Um… the fuck do you mean? Why’s there a timer all of a sudden?

- Stella and Flora aren’t even like, “If you’re a witch we’ll accept you.” Just reaffirming she’s totally a fairy. I know y’all just met, but y’all are fake-ass hoes.

- Imagine Bloom turned out to be a witch and the entire dorm just throws her out and abandons her.

- SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS WEIRD LIME-GREEN LOUNGE? Is this the Trix dorm? Are witch dorms just… in the Alfea basement or something?! Y’all are evil and dark and so you get no light, like rats.

- Icy’s evil laugh feels like it was supposed to come off as funny… but it’s just awkward.

- “You need to find a seat, Bloom.” What kinda whack-ass NPC dialogue???

- Wizgiz looks like he belongs on a cereal box.

- Oh my god the effects are so bad. The sparkles barely conceal the fact that there’s no animation. They’re just switching models in like one frame.

- So… these bitches can just conjure complex life with their spells? Yeah that doesn’t carry any kinda horrifying implications whatsoever.

- So… what did Icy do to Bloom exactly? What’s that mark, and how does it work? Can you do that to anybody to mess with their magic? If so, how do people not know a way to detect it?

- The class lasted for like… 5 minutes???

- In the original, we’d always start in the middle of a class, or end the scene before the class ended, which avoids this problem. Almost like actual thought was put into the original, whereas the reboot has no thought whatsoever.

- Also, we need to stop with the goddamn bell ringing in college settings. That’s not how colleges work. They don’t operate on a school-wide period system like high school. I didn’t go to college (poor) and even I know this!

- “I’m sorry, Mr. Wizgiz.” “Professor Wizgiz!” Okay, what the hell? Why is he so callous?

- Everyone in the reboot feels so… thoughtlessly mean and cruel. Like a lot of them aren’t outright malicious, but they clearly don’t seem to care about anybody else’s feelings, except for Bloom and sometimes Flora.

- The dog being left alone in the class… um, what? Did Wizgiz conjure it himself, or did he abduct this thing off the street?

- It’s barking, “Please kill me and put me out of my misery!”

- Why is Sky wearing two jackets? And why are both of them hideous?

- Specialists take some classes at Alfea… what? Why? Is Redfountain not good enough? Imagine having to go all the way to another campus just for one class.

- It’s obviously just to have an excuse for this kind of casual run-in with Bloom. I hate it.

- Lowkey, I’m thinking Chat GPT — like with the witches — thought they all went to the same school, and Rainbow had to add this disclaimer line in to justify it.

- Sky’s “aww” felt so fucking fake, oh my god.

- THAT’S NOT HOW THROWING FOOTBALLS WORK. I DON’T CARE ABOUT SPORTS AND EVEN I KNOW THIS!

- So… Sky played fetch with Brandon to get him to go away… what?

- AND HOW DID IT FLY OVER THE SCHOOL?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING? ARE WE PLAYING FOOTBALL ON THE MOON???

- Pretty sure it landed on the roof…

- OH GOD, DIASPRO IS HIDEOUS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING???

- She looks like a Dolly Parton knockoff who fell into the Fountain of Plastic Youth and suffered a debilitating stroke.

- Why does no one look like they’re from the same show? Holy shit, Midjourney flopped hard.

- So Sky and Diaspro are openly dating, and there’s no hiding of Sky being a prince. Um… okay then?

- Guessing that they’re making Diaspro cartoonishly vapid and evil to make it okay for Bloom and Sky to inevitably cheat. Ugh. JUST LET HER MAKE A BAD CHOICE.

- Doing bad things is okay if only a categorically bad person gets hurt! By any chance, did the Harry Potter books get sampled when Chat GPT generated this script?

- Boba canonically exists in the Magic Dimension now. I wanna die.

- Bloom, why are you even talking to the Trix? They’re clearly not trustworthy and out to get you.

- Again, this open space is actually terrible for laying out each girl’s space, because the architecture itself isn’t designed to be split into parts. There’s virtually no privacy.

- “You’re impossible-r.” OG Stella is rolling in her couture grave.

- Someone said Aisha saying, “That’s not my thing,” then the cutting to later where they’re all laughing felt like a Family Guy cutaway — that’s an insult to Family Guy.

- The fake laughter is killing me so bad. Oh my god this feels so insincere.

- “I programmed the lights.” What lights, Tecna? The ones on the ceiling that we don’t have to animate, allowing us to throw in ugly god rays?

- In 3D animation, we call these kinds of colored lights “god rays.” Cuz it sounds cool.

- “I’ve always wanted to try popcorn.” MA’AM, YOU’RE FROM EARTH.

- Couldn’t you just say that you wanted to try and cook the popcorn yourself with your magic, both to try it out and also cuz Alfea has no microwaves???

- Cut to OG Bloom with her parents at the movies. Ya know, EATING POPCORN.

- What even caught on fire? The bowl? How is that big??? Do y’all know how fire works?

- “Protection of Waves.” Thanks for the Bloomix war flashbacks.

- Okay, so when the water hits the girls, they’re still dry. Then in the very next shot — in one frame — they’re soaked. There was no animation of their hair falling as they get drenched. Holy shit this is so bad.

- Also, Stella and Musa were holding cups as they got hit with water, then in the shot where they’re drenched, the cups are gone. What the actual fuck???

- And now everyone hates Bloom to make her sad and do plot things. Okay, sure.

- Good lord why is the moon so bright???

- Even Alfea’s interiors are worse. The lockers, the floors, the doors, all of it makes it look like a yassified high school.

- In the original, all the curved architecture made it feel warm and organic. No other place looked like Alfea.

- WHY DO WE TRUST WHAT ICY SAID???

- Icy’s grin makes her look like a pufferfish.

- “The first magic users came here to find out if they were witches or fairies.” Um… what??? How would they not know? And why would they seek out a place to figure that out?

- This looks like any other ordinary room at Alfea, rather than some ancient room that the first magic users sought out. It’s literally giving an abandoned tower collecting dust that just happens to hold a magic mirror.

- Also, how would this room have existed to test magic users’ affinities before the first magic users???

- Okay so, did the Trix lie about this and make the mirror up? Cuz it’s so stupid it can’t be real.

- Okay yeah, it’s a trick by Darcy. Thank fuck.

- “Evil” Bloom just floating and burning Alfea with red-pink fire looks so goofy and bad oh my lord.

- Oh no, Bloom! You’re gonna burn the roommates you just met to death! She’s acting like they’ve already been besties forever.

- “I can help you.” WHY ARE YOU SO TRUSTING OF ICY, BLOOM??? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB???

- Blicy fans, you deserve so much better.

- This song is fucking terrible.

- SHE’S ALREADY LEAVING ALFEA. IN EPISODE 2. WTF???

- Ah yes, remember that one single memory we formed like 2 hours ago. Ah the fondness we hold.

- Wait, she left in the middle of the night, but then suddenly it’s the middle of the day??? WHAT IS WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME???

- Why did Bloom… stumble back like that while talking to the Trix? She looked like she was dying of heatstroke.

- Just… opening a portal to Earth, in the middle of the Alfea courtyard, in the middle of the day — also in the middle of the day, in a public space, in Gardenia. Gurl wtf is happening?

- I just got whiplash. They showed a flashback to Bloom arriving at Alfea, but there was no transition or effect to make it visually clear what’s the present versus what’s the past. I literally thought Bloom was happily walking into the portal before the camera spun to show the school entrance, and I realized we were in a flashback. This is so terrible.

- Sky fading away made me cackle like a hyena.

- We’re acting as though Bloom has been here for a whole season, bonding with her friends, but… it’s the middle of episode 2. Why the hell are we doing this???

- “Bloom is now where the other girls can’t protect her!” The “other girls”? I assume they mean just Stella and Flora, since Musa, Tecna, and Aisha don’t matter and have only had like two, barely three scenes so far.

- So… Bloom is suddenly back on Earth… and in school? What? Was she sent back in the middle of the school day? Wouldn’t people notice her absence and sudden reappearance???

- Her schedule… so was Bloom already in school last episode and just left abruptly???

- And the class is empty… if this was a trap on the Trix’s part, that would mean they’d have to have known her Gardenia High School schedule, then somehow made sure the teacher and the rest of the students in that class wouldn’t show up, and also move all the desks outta the way for the confrontation. Cuz if I recall correctly, chemistry classroom are full of desks and lab tables.

- “We just wanna steal your power!” So… the Trix just know off the bat Bloom has the Dragon Flame. No mystery, no investigations, just… this immediately. Sure, take all the drama out. You’re already speedrunning.

- I love that Darcy is barely lifting her arm to attack.

- Wow they’re terrible shots. You’re in a tiny-ass classroom, she’s obviously running to the door, then not even trying to dodge, and y’all still can’t land a single hit???

- Robin randomly appearing at the window on her hoverbike has me cackling. Like, it’s outta the blue, but also, how does no one outside notice a HOVERBIKE OUTSIDE THE WINDOW???

- “Can’t a girl be more than one thing?” Sure, but a boy can never be a fairy, or else Iginio will have a hissy fit.

- I will be proven right later.

- How is Icy trying to steal the power exactly? In the original, the Trix used the Wispirian Crystals (I still refuse to call them the Vacuums), which made sense. Trying to steal someone’s power should require some extra effort, or it’d be too easy. But this? How does this even work?

- Also, the effects look awful, and once more, they appear offscreen so we don’t have to animate them appearing.

- The fire alarm goes off, and IMMEDIATELY the fire department appears. I am cackling.

- Why did the Trix just stand there for two seconds as they opened the portal? And the portal doesn’t even have the image of Alfea. It’s just… empty.

- Where did Mike’s fellow firefighters go? Did they not see Bloom spawning the flames by herself, nor the hoverbike Robin left just outside the window? And how’d they know exactly which room to go to???

- Again, Bloom got drenched offscreen so we don’t have to animate her hair getting wet.

- The fact that we just said “Bloom’s going to boarding school,” and we did it OFFSCREEN, and that was GOOD ENOUGH???

- “We’ve always known you’ve had powers, Bloom!” Wow. Talk about underwhelming.

- In the original, this was an entire episode. It was Bloom coming home on break having changed at Alfea, and discovering she’d been found in a huge fire. That the fire itself protected her because of her magic. IT WAS A BIG FUCKING DEAL, AND IT WAS EMOTIONAL AND REAL AND WONDERFULLY WRITTEN.

- “That’s what the was! Anyway Bloom…” That felt so whiplash-inducing.

- “The fairies are nice, but they don’t need me!” What?! When was that the issue??? Wasn’t the issue you being worried about being a witch and accidentally hurting people with your power?!

- “This is your normal self!” Yes, her fairy self, because no one will comfort her about the idea of being a witch, because we all know being a witch is bad.

- No one tell the Charmed Ones.

- The way I wish someone would go, “And what’s so bad about being a witch?” FLORA, YOU SAID NOT ALL WITCHES ARE BAD LAST EPISODE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SILENT?

- “We know this isn’t easy, but hard things never are.” Someone give Chat GPT an award.

- “Anything you’ve ever set out to do, you’ve done. And you’ve done well.” Receipts please.

- The Winx just showing up to get Bloom… why??? Stella finishing the sentence implies they heard their conversation before they opened the portal. And how’d they know to come here??? WHAT IS HAPPENING???

- Also, why are Musa, Tecna, and Aisha here? They don’t give a fuck about Bloom. Stella and Flora don’t even qualify as friends yet.

- I love Tecna standing in the background of the kitchen with her head down, like she’s blacked out.

- “We really miss you, Bloom.” THE WAY IT LOOKED LIKE AISHA WAS PUTTING ON A PAINFULLY FAKE SMILE.

- “We’re so proud of you, Bloom.” PROUD OF WHAT? SHE HASN’T DONE JACK SHIT.

- “What if they say I’m a witch?!” “That is so not happening!” Because if it did, we’d kill you on sight.

- The way it’s so obvious who’s a fairy and who’s a witch just by fashion. Like, shouldn’t there be a lesson on and not judging by appearances, or don’t judge books by their covers? That you can’t tell what someone is just by their appearance? BUT NAH. IT’S ALWAYS OBVIOUS. FUCK TEACHING CHILDREN GOOD LESSONS.

- The way I WISH BLOOM WAS A FUCKING WITCH.

- The way Damien got so excited to be a fairy, then got shot down and stuck with being a warlock… not even a witch — male witches need their own term so they’re too feminine-sounding. Fuck my life.

- If Damien doesn’t become a fairy by the end of the season, I am disemboweling someone.

- “Any presence of darkness tips the scale in [witches’] favor.” It’s giving the one-drop rule, racial purity. Gross as fuck.

- Why is Damien taking care of the magical creatures anyway? He just seems to be some random kid, and with his father being Vexius—who I’m assuming is a known criminal—it’s not like he can outright talk about his family. How the fuck did he get here, and who put him in charge of this shit?

- “Apparently there was attack on a fairy on Earth.” ROBIN SAW THE TRIX. LITERALLY FOUGHT THEM. THEY OPENLY SAID THEY’D STEAL BLOOM’S POWER. WHY THE FUCK IS THAT NOT GROUNDS FOR EXPULSION AND INCARCERATION???

- The way Faragonda and Griffin just let the Trix terrorize and torment the Winx this entire season, constantly, and never once punish them, but they’ll happily punish the Winx for the stupidest shit, BOILS MY GODDAMN BLOOD.

- “Again, and again, and again.” Rainbow promising to find new and interesting ways to destroy their own franchise.

Winx Reboot Notes, Episode 1

Yes, I've seen the reboot. Yes, it's hot trash. Here are my notes of episode 1 for your amusement. You have been warned.

- I hate the new intro. Ordinarily, I’d be a fan of reviving “Under the Sign of Winx,” but this cover is trash. The vocals sound uninterested and passionless, like the singer is falling asleep, and the production feels like generic pop. It’s giving Katy Perry’s 143 era.

- I miss both English versions from the Cinelume dub. Personally I prefer Lucia’s version, but what I really miss is that original production with the guitars.

- Also, the sequence itself is LAZY. It’s literally just unaltered clips from the season. In the original, there was effort to spice up clips and add in unique effects and backgrounds, making it feel almost like a video collage.

- The Bloom narration feels so unnecessary and random. Why is it here?

- It feels like the script was AI generated, and the Bloom narration was thrown in last minute to try and make it feel more coherent.

- So no establishing shot of Gardenia. No taking our time to establish where we are or set the tone. Just… jumping straight to Bloom’s bedroom.

- What is Bloom even doing? Homework? And what triggers her hand to ignite?

- Why did Mike just barge in like, “Everything okay?” Is this morning and Bloom hasn’t come downstairs yet, or is it after she gets home from school?

- I hate that we don’t start on Bloom sleeping in cuz she’s on summer break. Not only does it make her being woken up more coherent and relatable, but it also characterizes Bloom as a bit lazy, and wanting to just vibe.

- Here, I have no clue who Bloom is as a character, because she’s just… there.

- I still hate that Kiko is just a plush and a notebook. Like, what the hell? Could we not animate bunnies?

- And also, the fact that Kiko is two pieces of merch. Is he an in-universe mascot that’s branded onto things already?

- Mike’s face looks hideous.

- I hate Vanessa’s model. She looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks, and her purple sleeves make her arms look diseased.

- So the bike is a birthday present. Okay, but… several issues:

- There’s no conversation with Bloom beforehand to characterize her and her parents. We don’t know who these people are, so why do we care about their birthday present for Bloom?

- Bloom is happy about the bike. Hate it. Like, her whole conflict originally was that she wanted to grow up and to not be treated like a kid anymore, and the bike was part of that. Vanessa says after she leaves that she probably wanted a scooter or a car (depending on the version). That, again, characterizes Bloom, while this doesn’t. It just reads as, “isn’t Bloom so perfect?”

- It also destroys Bloom’s motivation of wanting to leave Gardenia and see the world. In the original, she longs to be a fairy and have adventures in faraway places. Here… she wants nothing.

- “It must’ve cost you a fortune!” Gurl, it’s a bike, not a mortgage. Relax.

- The firefly nickname is cute, I will admit.

- Bloom’s hand ignited during the hug with her parents. Again, WHAT TRIGGERS IT???

- The title font is so ugly. I’s just… generic, illegible, overly script font overtop. It looks awful, and the lack of even a fade effect makes it even worse.

- “The strangeness was only beginning.” Who says strangeness???

- So… Stella and Flora are just fighting a random ogre thing in the park (I don’t know if it’s actually an ogre, but ya know)? IN THE OPEN??? Just a few shots ago there were people in the park. How the hell is no one seeing all these terribly bright special effects?!

- Also, Bloom just happens across them after getting off her bike. She doesn’t go to investigate anything, and come across the fight deeper in the woods. Love taking away her agency.

- Bloom doesn’t even decide to get involved here. In the original, she was hiding, and stepped in when Stella was in danger, risking her own life before she even KNEW she had magic. It spoke to her bravery and impulsiveness. Here… the monster spots her and charges.

- Also, why does the monster HAVE THUMBS ON ITS FEET.

- The monster just… randomly breaks the bike? Why? It went out of its way to do that.

- They’re trying to act like it’s a big deal that sets Bloom off, but it’s so laughable. Like gurl who cares? Fuck your family.

- Oh god, even the shot-to-shot continuity is fucked. So Bloom is running from the monster, and it’s sunset. Stella and Flora grab her and fly away. They land in a tree… and in one shot it’s become nightfall. Like, there’s no transition from sunset to nightfall. It’s just straight-up nighttime now. What the fuck???

- “But that monster is probably after your ring, Stella?” Um… why would it be? Does this mean y’all came to Earth and then got attacked?

- Also, the monster not being Knut, an actual character, but just a generic monster that doesn’t talk? Serious downgrade, loss of a great character, and we miss a chance to get clues about who he works for.

- So Stella and Flora came to get Bloom. Several problems:

- Takes away Bloom’s agency. She chose to go out to the park, she chose to investigate, she chose to save Stella, and then she chose to go to Alfea. At each step she is choosing what she does. Here, she’s entirely passive and just whisked away before we even know who the hell she is.

- Why is Flora here? Why is she needed for this? In the original, it just being Stella keeps it simple, and lets us focus on the beginning of her and Bloom’s friendship. They’re besties after all. Here, there is no friendship. It makes Stella and Flora’s arrival feel like an errand.

- Why did we leave the park through a portal? Where did the portal go to? The next shot isn’t them exiting it and de-transforming. It’s presumably the next day (it’s daytime now lol) where Bloom is saying goodbye to her parents and heading to Alfea. What???

- We’ve had no time to get to know any of these characters. Shit is just… happening.

- We don’t even get to see how they go to Alfea. In the original, we learn from Stella that it’s on the planet Magix in the Magical Dimension. We know it’s not on Earth. But here, we have no clue! And without seeing how they get there, it makes it even more confusing!

- Also steals an important moment to establish Stella as the one who’s able to teleport between worlds. Not only does it make her especially useful, but it partially explains why her ring is so important.

- Alfea got butchered. The original castle was so unique! Unashamedly pink and girly, but also with lots of rounded architecture that looked organic. Like it could only have been made with magic!

- Here, Alfea is sad millennial mom beige, with lots of harsh lines and pointy bits. It looks less unique, and more like a generic fantasy school castle.

- This reveal of Alfea feels so underwhelming. It’s too soon. We don’t even know about it because Stella didn’t get the chance to tell us about it beforehand. We’re just… here now.

- So, last scene Bloom left with Stella and Flora to go to Alfea. The next scene, Bloom is saying hi to them like she just arrived on her own, and like these two were waiting for her ahead of time? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

- So… Stella is the Fairy of the Sun and Moon again. Okay, cool, but in all the promo leading up to this, she was still the “Fairy of the Shining Sun.”

- Iginio, this won’t win you points.

- And Bloom’s already assigned to a dorm. Okay then.

- The Varanda drama was so good though! It was a brief conflict, but it tested Bloom’s trustworthiness, and also made it clear that her being from Earth was a big deal, and deeply unexpected. Here, everyone’s like, “Oh, you’re from Earth? The non-magical world? Okay cool, who cares?”

- I hate the new dorm. I’ve really come to loathe open-concept homes. The original dorm was more closed, and more cozy. An entrance, a designated lounge, and a little table with some desks in the back hallway leading to the balcony. Far warmer, and far more homey.

- This big, wide open room feels both barren and too small, because it means there’s no separated spaces for the girls to exist in without getting in each other’s way.

- “Aisha. Fairy of Waves. You’ll see my name on the food in the fridge.” Glitch backflips away.

- The way this has been haunting my Discord server.

- The animation is dreadful. There’s no attention to momentum or physics… or just how the human body works. You’d have to lean forward to build momentum before a backflip, NOT JUST… PROPEL YOURSELF BACKWARDS.

- Love Stella standing awkwardly like an NPC waiting for the player to talk to her in the foreground.

- ALSO WHERE IS THE FRIDGE.

- Why did we even meet Musa, Tecna, and Aisha. This is their only scene in the episode.

- Why are we rushing through all of this to meet ALL the Winx, get to Alfea, meet Faragonda and Griffin, meet the Trix, meet Damien, and meet the Specialists… AND ALSO GO BACK TO GARDENIA?! WHY ALL THIS IN JUST ONE EPISODE?!

- Robin feels like such a random, unnecessary addition. Why does Faragonda need an assistant?

- Also, while I love that we have female specialists now, I know we’re not getting male fairies. Male witches in the form of warlocks, sure, but Rainbow and Iginio are too queerphobic to ever let a boy don fairy wings and a glittery outfit. Cowards.

- The way I hate Faragonda’s accent. It gives generically British fantasy professor.

- Stella talking to Faragonda looks disgusting. Her left eye makes her look like she’s having a stroke, and her face looks like that of a Martian who’s been hit with a frying pan.

- So Faragonda detected a potential fairy on Earth, and Stella and Flora just went on their own to go find her… why?! There’s no reason for it. No ulterior motive or goal, aside from a joke about Stella blowing up the potion lab.

- Also, this makes it seem as though the year was already happening before Bloom arrived. How the hell did she already have a dorm set with the other girls at Alfea?!

- I don’t hate Griffin’s design, but I hate Cloudtower being destroyed. They keep saying it was destroyed in “a great war between light and dark 16 years ago,” which is giving it was part of the Fall of Domino. But they never go into specifics as to what the war was really about, or who was involved, aside from random names here and there.

- Like, Griffin ran Cloudtower. Was she on the side of the Ancestral Witches, and then changed her ways to help run Alfea with Faragonda? Or did the Ancestral Witches destroy Cloudtower? They never say.

- Bloom bumping into Icy is… so bad. You’re in a wide, open space and Icy was clearly visible. There was no turning of corners. You’d have to intentionally go out of your way to bump into her.

- This long, awkward moment of trying to show off their clashing powers is so bad. So, so very bad.

- “I sensed it when she bumped into me.” GURL WE SAW IT, YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL US.

- And instantly, Icy’s obsession with Bloom begins, and it’s sadly ungay. I hate it here.

- I do love Icy’s lacey sleeves though.

- So, did Darcy and Stormy use their magic to cause the fire, or was that actually the fairy who did that?

- Stormy looks good in purple, but it throws off the color balancing of the Trix, cuz now we have one blue, two purples. It’s half the Bloomix forms being in blue all over again.

- The pointy-hat witch statue is giving AI Elphaba. Witches in the Winx universe don’t wear pointy hats or use brooms. That’s literally the point of them putting a new spin on fairies and witches!

- Bloom helping Stella and Flora clean up is technically an active choice, but it’s one that makes her feel too perfect. Like she’s just so sweet and goodhearted, don’t you care about her? The answer is no, I do not. CAN SHE GET A FLAW PLEASE?!

- “Icy, Stormy, and Darcy.” Bitch, the order is Icy, Darcy, and Stormy. Get it right you ignorant sluts.

- Flora’s like, “Not all witches are bad,” yet the show clearly disagrees. All the witches we’ve met are either mean (be they Griffin or background witches), or evil like the Trix.

- When Bloom thinks she might be a witch next episode, the girls don’t comfort her like, “Fairy or witch we’ll accept you.” They just reinforce that she’s definitely a fairy. And she is! Like the show agrees she was right to be afraid to be a witch.

- I would’ve vastly preferred Bloom actually being a witch and learning to accept herself.

- How the hell did Griffin not notice the Trix destroying the statue?! You can hear the crash, but you don’t hear all the thunder or see all the glowy blue lights?

- Why exactly does Griffin hate Bloom? It’s giving she’s just mean. Almost as if the show doesn’t like witches.

- Why are we focusing so much on these three being punished? Shouldn’t we be taking our time to establish Bloom as a main character before we do five-million things?

- Damien looks like an AI-generated fanfic OC from a completely different show.

- The way everyone called him being Bloom’s secret twin brother. God I hate it here.

- “I feel like I’ve met him before.” Stella growling is me at this writing.

- Damien feels like an actually fleshed out character immediately than anybody else. He’s guarded, untrusting, and has something mysterious to his character, meanwhile Bloom is about as interesting as a dried-up puddle.

- The sheep form of the changelings are cute, but also look very much AI generated. Something about them feels wrong.

- They’re giving rip-off Spyro creatures.

- I wanna like the idea of Icy feigning kindness to manipulate Bloom, but this just makes Bloom look so stupid. They want her to come off as trusting and kind so that we feel bad for her being manipulated, but I don’t. This just makes me hate her more.

- Cue “What does this green button do?” from Dumb Ways to Die, and then the sheep maul her.

- The fact Bloom didn’t think to ask Damien, Flora, or Stella about the creatures or why they have collars. In the words of Lois Griffin, “Fuckin’ idiot.”

- Love the changelings shifting form offscreen so we don’t have to animate the process. Y’all spent years with this in development, and you still couldn’t actually make this look good.

- Even the composition of shots look bad to try and hide the lack of animation.

- The specialists IMMEDIATELY show up, what the fuck? ENOUGH WITH THE INTRODUCTIONS.

- How the hell did they just instantly show up in their ship all suited up?!

- They also all look awful. Brandon looks like James Charles with two black eyes.

- Bloom’s been at Alfea for three days already? What the fuck is going on?!

- The specialists’ weapons literally just appear in one frame. There’s no actual animation to their formation. This is so embarrassing.

- Still hate the transformation sequences. And also the outfits.

- Stella’s scepter looks like a plastic wand.

- Stella’s Solar Flare spell… did nothing? Was that supposed to have blinded the monsters?

- Flora’s vines look so weak and pathetic, I can barely see them onscreen.

- Already we’re back in Gardenia at Bloom’s high school… was she already going here? Was school in session? Was it not summer? How do Mike and Vanessa explain her absence exactly?

- Mitzi showed up as if we’re supposed to already know who she is.

- This is a running theme with this episode. You’re expected to already be familiar with and care about this world and these characters, which… NO?! You’re supposed to reintroduce us to these new versions of the characters, both for existing fans to get to know these new versions, and for newbies to get acquainted without being thrown into the deep end.

- The way this bathroom has changed so many times over the years, and has looked ugly every time.

- So Mitzi doesn’t hear all the spells and see all the flashing lights from inside the stall? What?

- The animation of Bloom using the broom to lock the stall door was so bad. So, so bad.

- Stella… fixed all of this? Her magic can do that? Her powers are light, so I’d normally assume she can only make illusions, but… this?! What the fuck are our powers supposed to even be???

- “They’re headed for a super busy area!” Note the lack of literally anyone in this area.

- “How are we gonna stop them?” “I heard the Trix open the portal.” “Let’s also open the portal!” WHY DID WE NEED TO KNOW THE TRIX DID THIS TO MAKE A PORTAL OURSELVES? STELLA, YOU LITERALLY MADE ONE LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO.

- Bloom’s only impressive accent — putting the collar on the changeling. And she did it by ninja leaping onto its back. She built no actual momentum to pull off the jump.

- So instead of having Aisha to be the black best friend to have no character beyond comforting Bloom like we had in Fate, we now have Flora being the Latina best friend existing solely to comfort Bloom. Great.

- Where the hell are the Trix? What is this… lounge with the lime-green fireplace?!

- Okay, I genuinely like the ending song “From Now On.” It’s the only song in the reboot that hasn’t made me want to earn Self-Defenestratix.

- So this was co-produced with RAI Kids. You can tell.

- TLDR, RAI is short for Radiotelevisione Italiana, and it’s Italy’s public broadcasting company. They’ve always worked with Rainbow in producing Winx Club. I learned a bit about the history of their collaboration recently.

- Originally, Winx aired on Rai 2, which was meant for “youthful audiences” (i.e. teens). Then halfway through season 6, Winx moved to Rai Gulp, and it finally moved to Rai YoYo for season 8.

- Basically, RAI Kids is the production company that’s a subsidiary for RAI as a whole. It’s meant for the production of children’s shows. We’re talking toddlers. Rai YoYo is essentially the Italian Nick Jr. (except it’s publicly owned).

- For the record, Iginio always said he had to tone down the show for younger viewers to meet Rai Yoyo’s requirements. He chose to go that route though. No one forced he or Rainbow’s hands to move Winx away from Rai 2 and Rai Gulp, as far as I’m aware.

- Gurl this was a flop. I wish to unsee this.