Midnight Pals: Twitter Blue
Elon Musk: eyyy whatsa matta you Stepheno king
Musk: you no wanta the blue check?
Musk: listen the blue checka it maka you real cool
Stephen King: cool you say?
Musk: oh yeah itta reall...
Bitter Karella posts
Midnight Pals: The Shaver Mystery
Richard Sharpe Shaver: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the underground monster people that can control us with mind rays
Stephen King: wow, that sure ...
Midnight Pals: Goop Troop
Poe: guys we're going to have lor gislason tell a story tonight
Poe: and i want you all on good behavior
Poe: i don't want any jokes
Barker: ok no jokes about the slime person ok sure got ...
Midnight Pals: Blue Check Bonanza
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the-
Elon Musk [popping out of bushes]: eeeey its me, elon musk!
Musk: i just comma to see my number one bambino Stephano King!
M...
Midnight Pals: The Scary book
L. Marie Wood: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call the tale of the book that kills people
Lovecraft: o-oh! i like that
Lovecraft: b-books that kill, that's totally my j...
Midnight Pals: Blume
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hadley freeman, your failuresss disssspleasssse me
Rowling: you promissssed me you would deliver margaret atwood
Rowling: instead, nothin...
Midnight Pals: Anti-Woke Harry Potter
Agent: ok so listen joanne
Agent: I have some bad news
JK Rowling: issss ssscotland getting uppity??
Rowling: how dare they rebel against the yoke of English rule!!!
Rowling: we will cr...
Midnight Pals: New Series
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: you're
Poe: you're back
Barker: edgar edgar you sound so tired
Barker: put some feeling into it
Barker: "ha ha joanne!"
Ba...
Midnight Pals: Everyone Loves a Circus
Ben Farthing: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the circus tent that i found in the woods behind my house
Barker: hell of a title there, man
Farthi...
Midnight Pals: Cosmic Boobs
Mary SanGiovanni: so me and edward lee have been collaborating on some cosmic horror
Clive Barker: are there tits in it
SanGiovanni: "are there tits in it"
SanGiovanni: what a question!
2023-04-11 18:18:49 +0000 UTC
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Midnight Pals: The Willows
Algernon Blackwood: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the willows
Lovecraft: g-guys this is my favorite story!
Lovecraft: ooh it's so ...
Midnight Pals: Magic
[at unicorn fuck club]
Terry Pratchett: in discworld, there’s a big controversy about dwarf gender
Tolkien: ah yes dwarves are all dudes
Pratchett: see, that’s the stereotype
Pratch...
Midnight Pals: Blueberry Critical
Stephen King: submitted for the-
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I’d like to introduce you all to my favorite terf deatheater
Rowling: Kathleen ssssstock
Clive Barker: why
Poe:...
Midnight Pals: New Harry Potter
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: great newssss
Rowling: they’re making a new harry potter ssseriessss on HBO
Rowling: and thissss time
Rowli...
Midnight Pals: Jokey Japes
[at unicorn fuck club]
Terry Pratchett: I call it the story of the wacky fantasy world that’s funny
Pratchett: I hope you’re all ready for some jolly jokes and japes
Pratchett: but als...
Midnight Pals: Hot Takes
Lovecraft: S-submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this
Lovecraft: the tale of the rats in the walls
King: oo
King: jeez howard
King: that story’s a little dicey ...
Midnight Pals: Trickster
Owl Goingback: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the coyote rage
Goingback: cuz despite all his rage
Goingback: he’s still just a coyote in a cage<...
Midnight Pals: Nice Brandon
[at unicorn fuck club]
JRR Tolkien: oh brandon
Tolkien: we heard about that wired article
Tolkien: tough break
Brandon Sanderson: well good golly gosh
Sanderson: I just
Sanderson:...
Midnight Pals: Calling in
Rowling: I mean, who’ssss to know whatsss right or wrong?
Phelps-Roper: wow if you think about it
Phelps-Roper: trans people and people who want to kill trans people are really just equally...
Midnight Pals: Rowling in the Morning
Megan Phelps-Roper: hey you’re listening to the witch trials of jk rowling, W KZFM in the morning with Megan Phelps-Roper and the weasel [air horn sound effect]
Phelps-Roper: we are here with ...
Midnight Pals: Legally Mandated Podcast Experience
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: ok
Poe: JK
Rowling: you don’t ssssound very thrilled to ssssee me edgar
Poe: well it’s just
Rowling: perhapssss you’ll be more thrilled after yo...
Midnight Pals: Joining the Team
Aleister Crowley: yo Sonia
Crowley: yep yep it’s just me
Crowley: Aleister “The Great Beast” Crowley
Crowley: the most wicked man in the world
Crowley: mountaineer, bon vivant, ma...
Midnight Pals: Magic
Ray Bradbury: and so, at that dusty little carnival on that humid summer night
Bradbury: that little boy saw real magic for the first time
Aleister Crowley: c’mon, that’s not what real ma...
Midnight Pals: Mr. Electric
Ray Bradbury: Submitted for the approval of the midnight Society, I call this the tale of the eternal summer, the last vestiges of muggy august giving way to the bluster of autumn, the twinkling li...
2023-03-16 17:45:51 +0000 UTC View PostMidnight Pals: Clarification
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh
Poe: joanne
Rowling: I’m jussst here to clarify my posssition on transss people
Barker: oh damn wow
Barker: damn wow everyone stop what you’re ...
Midnight Pals: Crime Time
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
Jesse Singal: mommy mommy look at me!!
Singal: I’m a real reporter!!!
JK Rowling: you’re doing great jesssse
Singal: I did it for you mommy!
...
Midnight Pals: Kill List
Ben Wheatley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the sad hit man
Wheatley: a mind-bending tale of psychological horror with a big twist!
Wheatley: the...
Midnight Pals: Alice Walker
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I want to introducccce our newest recruit
Rowling: Aliccce Walker
Alice Walker: “children” is a gender-n...
Midnight Pals: Complete and Total Blueberrification
Roald Dahl: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the unexpected
Stephen King: is this an original tale of the unexpected or one of the revised ones? Dahl:...
Midnight Pals: Black Terror
Patricia Highsmith: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of the charming sociopath
Dean Koontz: tell the story about the black terror!
Highsmith: ehhh
K...