They might look messy, but they're fabulous.
Awhile ago Bastian asked if I knew how to make cream puffs, and I said sure do, super easy, though it looks gross almost the whole time you're mak...
2025-11-03 20:29:44 +0000 UTC View Post
After the straight-up saga of Velveteen's incredible journey east, I thought you might like the happy ending...
2025-11-03 18:15:26 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m just so proud of this I want everyone to see it!
Also it took almost a year of assembling patches from various sources.
And then just...a REALLY long time hand-stitching every...
2025-10-30 17:16:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello, this is a free and open post because oh my god what a month this has been!
If you follow me on BlueSky, you may have seen what's been happening over the last five or six days...and now...
2025-10-27 00:00:25 +0000 UTC View PostWarning: I'm about to get REAL contemplative about home DIY and design. This started out as the post for the RAM tier, but got longer and longer and more and more thoughtful and about other thi...
2025-09-30 23:41:13 +0000 UTC View PostSo.
There's a reason I try to keep my political writing away from Patreon unless one of you really wants to read it.
I want this place to be cozy. I want us to talk about art and love a...
2025-09-13 23:29:38 +0000 UTC View PostNote: This essay is not the regular monthly essay, but cross-posted from my Substack, where I keep all my uncozy rageful political thoughts. My policy has always been to cross-post any paywalle...
2025-09-09 15:56:31 +0000 UTC View Post
I lied.
I've made the joke about meeting Stephen King several times over the last two weeks.
I very nearly almost didn't cry.
And I did try. I was oh-so-valiant. I told ...
2025-09-03 20:13:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Just want to say up top: do not go near this thing if you have a nut allergy. You WILL die.
(You could make a regular short crust pastry shell and top it with fruit or granola or a glaze or a...
2025-08-30 18:18:24 +0000 UTC View PostTHE BOOK IS DONE.
My god, it’s been hanging over me so long I hardly know what to do now that Nobody But Us is with my editor. Thank you everyone for being patient while I focused on it, LI...
2025-08-19 14:42:32 +0000 UTC View Post
I was reading about horses the other day.
It’s what we do, from time to time, we who in some small part never outgrow a terrifyingly single-minded love of horses, imagining infinite a...
2025-07-30 21:14:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Do you hate yourself? I KNOW I DO!
Do you ever wake up, look at yourself, and wonder what you’ve become?
BOY HOWDY!
2025-07-29 21:27:08 +0000 UTC View PostI am alive!
Is the book done? No. About ten chapters left, because, as the Denizen and up tiers know from the photos, everything that could go hilariously wrong last week, from a massive heat...
2025-07-02 15:50:53 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s too hot.
Too much work to do.
But the body must eat. IT'S A CONUNDRUM.
I've always loved cold sesame noodles, which are always also cold peanut noodles, but people only ev...
2025-07-01 18:03:20 +0000 UTC View PostHey everyone!
Just wanted to let you all know I appear to actually be near to finishing Nobody But Us, the weird-ass gender dystopia novel I've been posting bit by bit on the excerpt...
2025-06-15 17:11:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Like many others, I watched the second and final season of Andor over the last month, a show I love more than is totally socially acceptable to express.
This isn't a review of An...
2025-06-01 00:46:36 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome back to your nuclear hellscape of infinite human torment already in progress! What a fucking beautiful day in the goddamned cursed-ass neighborhood of slowly-deflating dreams, in which the ...
2025-04-30 16:13:51 +0000 UTC View Post
BONUS DENIZEN FOR ALL THIS MONTH. Because it was TOO MUCH to not share.
And I did it this way on purpose.
So there would be a reveal. You know, like on Drag Race, only instead of reveal...
2025-04-27 22:45:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Now, Bastian has been to many conventions before. Somewhere near 20, I think. But they were a baby, or at Worldcon and thus in the childcare suite, so they never could really participate o...
2025-04-27 21:40:10 +0000 UTC View Post
The innocent mind of a child keeps coming up with genuinely great baking ideas, I don’t know what to tell you.
Do they eat the baked goods I design from their specifications? Ehhhhhh someti...
2025-04-27 20:59:43 +0000 UTC View PostMany times at conventions, people have asked me to post my con schedule on Patreon so it's easy to know where to find me, and I ALWAYS say "Oh that's such a good idea, I totally will next time!" 2025-04-17 20:26:05 +0000 UTC View Post
WELP.
In addition to literally everything being on fire on every level, Patreon has chosen to not delay their marvelous billing changes and plow on ahead with them as of this month.
Man...
2025-04-05 19:25:38 +0000 UTC View Post
Continuing the 6-year old’s journey through Baked Goods vis The Great British Bake-Off, I bring to you another Bastian Original.
They asked if we could spend the afternoon watching "a whole...
2025-03-31 19:47:10 +0000 UTC View Post
I am so excited to show this to you all I can barely stand it. (Unlike most denizens, I am posting this to everyone who gets the experiment, and also, since it's my work desk, this won't be just ou...
2025-03-27 15:33:59 +0000 UTC View PostCross-posted from the Uncozy Substack. As the Laboratory is always my priority, anything paywalled there will be cross-posted here if a patron directly requests. I prefer to keep this place coz...
2025-03-19 15:31:24 +0000 UTC View Post
Did I do too much?
Yes.
Am I sorry? No. And also I had all this around the house due to a mixed-up grocery delivery presenting me with someone else's MASSIVE FUCK-OFF JAR of guava prese...
2025-02-27 19:02:33 +0000 UTC View PostNote: This is cross-posted from my Substack, where I keep my Extremely Angry Political Writing. I don't like to p...
2025-02-11 23:43:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Ugh, it's the middle of winter and everything is hard. Dinner is just like WHATEVER, MAN.
So this was last night's whatever--everything that is good and right about a club sandwich, taken apa...
2025-01-31 17:41:26 +0000 UTC View Post
While I've been nursing my cat back to something vaguely resembling health, a whole lot of very unsettlingly, nauseatingly specific things came out about a certain very famous author of dark fictio...
2025-01-28 19:40:48 +0000 UTC View Post