sakurada yana

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 11

Chase mutters his thanks and gets out the MINI at a run, heading straight for the entrance of the hospital. Blinking water from his eyes, he stuffs his hands into the pocket of his jeans, hunches up his shoulders and stamps his feet. Fuck, it's cold. He peers inside through the huge rotating glass doors. Now that he's here, he isn't sure what to do. He hesitates, biting his lips and thinks.

Okay, first, he needs to know where Gabriel is. Or what happened to him. He doesn't think hospitals allow visitors at this hour. So he'll have to figure a way out to find Gabriel. Would it look suspicious if he just went right up ahead and asked at the counter? He doesn't want to get busted. He didn't blow Baldwin just to be sent home. What to do? Chase licks his lips, wracking his brain for ideas as he peers inside. Everywhere Chase sees a patient or two strolling about, some talking to nurses, some dragging their IV drip with them.

Green eyes light up. That's it! Chase takes a deep breath and pushes through the rotating doors. The waiting area is still busy at this time of night. Enough people are loitering around that no one is paying much attention to him. Good. That is exactly what he needs. Faking nonchalance, he walks down and away from the people, slipping into one of the hallways that lead to God knows where, eyes peering into each room as he passes, twice surreptitiously trying the closed doors. He just needs to find the- AHA!

Chase sneaks into the supply closet, closes the door behind him and squints. It's too dark. He fumbles around for the light switch, blinking when he flips it. There are various items on the shelves. Chase scrounges through the small cartons lining the racks. Medical gloves. Nope. Syringes. Nope. Tapes. Nope. Where are they? He crouches down and spots a stack of boxes on the floor, underneath the last shelf and opens it. Hospital gowns. Yes! Chase steps out of his shoes and peels off his socks. Then, he pulls his damp shirt over his head and wriggles out of his jeans.

Gathering his shoes, he hides them behind a cleaning bucket in the corner. He folds his clothes into a neat pile and places them in one of the empty boxes. Then, running his fingers through his hair trying to fluff out some of the wetness in them, Chase plasters a smile on his face. He hopes this will work. Plastering himself against the door, he listens. Hearing nothing but silence and the distant murmurs, he opens it a crack. He sneaks out and closes the door behind him. Okay, now the hard part. He just needs to- WHAM!

A solid body bumps into him. Hard. He's sent flying backward onto his ass, the cold tile floor freezing against his naked ass. Combined with how sore he is, it's not a pleasant feeling. He hisses. And that's when he notices the nurse who's also sprawled on the ground opposite him, her clipboard and pen clattering away, a stunned look on her face before it's quickly replaced by concern.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you! Did I hurt you?" She rushes over to Chase, helping him up.

"Don't apologize. It's my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going," he says, a sheepish smile on his face. "I'm lost." The nurse is not convinced, fussing over him. She is quite pretty, with big brown doe eyes and long wavy black hair. He blushes when she circles behind him, very conscious of his bare ass. When she faces him again, he gives her a hesitant, shy smile.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Where are you heading to anyway? You know, we provide the call button for a purpose. You shouldn't be wandering around by yourself," she scolds, in the way a mom would. She bends down to pick up the clipboard and pen. Flipping her hair back, she cocks an eyebrow at Chase, who's awkwardly shuffling his bare feet. She smiles. "Come on, let me bring you back to your room. What's your room number? Oh, I'm Lisa by the way."

"I'm Chase. Um... I'm actually looking for my friend. I heard he was admitted today, and I was worried," he mumbles, chin tucked in. Then, trying to channel Sam's puppy dog eyes, he stares up at Lisa. "I just wanted to see him. I need to know if he's okay. I can't sleep not knowing."

Lisa's eyes soften. "I'm sorry to hear about your friend." She purses her lips, then asks. "What's his name?"

"Gabriel. Gabriel Ward," he answers, his heart quickening in his chest.

"Alright, let me see what I can do for you." Lisa motions for him to follow her and he does so immediately. She approaches the reception area, drops off her clipboard and leans over the desk to whisper to her colleague, the two of them glancing back at him. Chase's heart is beating wildly. He isn't sure if the ruse will work. He watches as the nurse behind the desk starts typing on her computer. A spark of hope blossoms in his chest. She mutters something to Lisa who nods and walks back to Chase.

"I can't tell you much about his condition since you’re not a family member but I can say that he is out of surgery and recuperating." Upon noticing Chase's palpable sigh of relief, she adds. "You can visit him tomorrow. He's on the third floor, room 3b." In a stern voice she continues, "But for now, go to bed. You both need your rest. Deal?" She holds out her hand.

"Deal," he says, shaking her hand. Chase feels bad for lying, but he needs to see Gabriel. Plus, he isn't a patient here and therefore has no room to go back to. Despite Lisa's reassurance, he still couldn't shake off the residual fear and panic. The images of Gabriel covered in blood, motionless and still, so close to Death's door keeps him on edge. Unsettled. Urgent. He knows he won't be able to rest until he sees it for himself that Gabriel is okay. That Chase hadn't lost him.

Smiling wide, Lisa mock-scolds. "Now go up to your room before I kick your ass." She makes a shooing motion with her hands and Chase smiles. "Thank you so much for your help, Lisa. It means a lot," he says, grateful. The day's exhaustion is beginning to weigh down on Chase. The sudden relief and Lisa's kindness is the last straw. Unable to stop it, a slew of emotion washes over him. His eyes start to well up, and Chase clenches his jaw trying to prevent them from falling.

"Hey, hey... What's with the waterworks? Chase, I'm glad that I could help." Putting her hands on his shoulder, she massages his neck with her thumbs and forefingers. She looks him in the eyes and cracks a smile. It's kind and gentle. Somehow, she reminds Chase of his mom.

Without thinking, he wraps his arms around her waist, pulls her in and hugs her, nuzzling his head at the juncture where neck meets shoulder. To her credit, Lisa takes his breakdown like a champ, staying silent and hugs him back, patting his head. They stand like that for a while before Chase pulls away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Sorry. It's just been a long day," he mumbles, not daring to look at Lisa. The knots in his chest loosen a little but now he's feeling hot in the cheeks. He can't believe he broke down like that and basically force-hugged this nice lady.

"It's fine," Lisa says, her hands still on his shoulder. She gives him a light squeeze and lets go. "Go and get some rest, Chase. You'll feel better after a good night's sleep. Trust me, my son, Ben is a grumpy little thing when he doesn't get enough naps," she huffs, smiling.

"You have a son?" Chase asks voice only a tinge of roughness. At Lisa's nod, he adds. "He must be real lucky to have you as his mom." Lisa blushes. Then, she gestures to herself. "Single working mom. Night shifts." She exhales. "I try." Her eyes look tired. He can see the subtle lines on her young face, and he feels a pang.

"You tried. And that's all that matters," he says sincerely, feeling the words ring true. The corner of Lisa's lips turns up. Chase glances towards the elevator. "I better get back. Don't want you to get in trouble." He starts to walk away when Lisa's fingers around his wrist stop him. He turns around, confused.

"If you need anything, anything at all, Chase, don't be afraid to ask. Get well soon." She gives Chase one last bright smile and waves, walking back to her colleagues.

With a small smile on his face, Chase presses the button to go up by the elevator. As he stares at the small blinking light descent from the fifth floor, the smile on his face falters. Something about what Lisa had said niggles at him. It's not like he's scared to ask for help, he's afraid for those he asked help from.

He's new in town. He doesn't know anybody. He doesn't know who to trust. The last time he even hinted at what’s going on at the home, his guidance counsel got the ax. Lisa had been kind to him. The last thing he wants is for her to get messed up in his shit.

He had thought about running before. Many times. But what can a teenager with a six years old do? With no money, just the clothes on his back, he couldn't run far. And then what? He hasn't even graduated high school. What the fuck can he do? He'll end up on the streets in no time. And what about Sam? He's only six. He needs a home. School. Stability. Everything Chase can't provide. So his best choice is to stay put. He'll be eighteen in five months. That's a long ass time. It's only been three weeks, and he can already feel himself disintegrating, bit by bit. How far can he go before he loses himself entirely?

The elevator dings and the doors slide open. Chase stumbles in, shoulder slouched and presses the button with the number three on it. He leans back and watches the blip of light travel from one button to the next. The thought that he'll have to whore himself out for another five months is depressing.

But it's not just that. It feels like he's balancing on the precipice of safety and death. He couldn't give two shits about what happened to him. But every moment he stays at the home, he's gambling Sam. How much longer before Lucas caves and gives in to Alastair's demands? The son of a bitch had been heavily hinting. What is he going to do when they decide to sell Sam? Chase wouldn't be able to protect Sam, and it would be too late to do anything. The thought terrifies him.

The elevator dings again, and he steps out. Looking around, he follows the sign that says 1-5 with a small arrow beside it pointing to the right. When he comes across the number 3 sign, he turns into the hallways. His heart quickens as he passes room 3a. There are five rooms in this hallway. Two on the right and three on the left. Gabriel's room is the one at the end on the right. Feeling slightly nauseated from nerves, Chase turns the doorknob and enters.

It's a two person's room with a large glass window at the back. Chase could hear the rain splattering against the windows as the storm continued outside. The curtains to the beds are drawn, the beep of monitors loud in the almost silent room. Hesitating for only a moment, he tiptoes to the first bed. Peering through the gap in the curtain, he notices a skinny young boy with blond hair curling around his face.

Stepping back, he approaches the other bed, his bare feet silent on the tiled floor. His fingers feel numb. There's a light tremble to them, and he clenches his fists before pushing the curtain aside. Slipping inside, he turns around, his back towards Gabriel and closes the curtain. He closes his eyes and breathes in steadily, his forehead touching the plastic curtain. In his mind, he counts to three. One, two, three. He opens his eyes and turns around. Then, he stares. And stares.

Gabriel is lying in the hospital bed, hooked onto a multitude of wires. He looks so small and fragile, covers up to his chin, his arms resting atop them, by his side. Bruises littered his body or at least the part he could see anyway. Greenish black spots marred his pale skin, along his arm, and around his wrists. There's a bandage on the side of his neck and what looks like finger-shaped bruises. Chase swallows the lump in his throat.

He slips into the chair by the bed, leaning forward onto his knees. Gabriel's hair is sticking up everywhere around the white bandage on his head. He seems to be asleep, dreaming, his thick lashes fluttering against his cheekbones. His heart clenched as he took Gabriel's face.

The swelling around his eyes had worsened, and they look painful. There's a bandage on his nose too, and the bruises around it look the same. Purple reddish. His eyes fall on Gabriel's lips. The soft lips he'd kissed just last night. It's split in some places and chapped.

Feeling the now very familiar sting in his eyes, he rubs at his face then pinches the bridge of his nose. Goddammit! He's a freaking crybaby today, isn't he? He squeezes his eyes shut and feels the tears roll down his cheeks. He can't help the soft whine that comes out. He stays like that for a moment, trying to regain his composure. When he's certain he's not going to break down crying again; he opens his eyes and freezes. Inky blue eyes are staring right at him.

---

Lucas slams the front door shut with a loud bang. He doesn't care if it'll wake the children up, he's livid. Gabriel had woken up terrified, and no matter how much he tried to placate him, the boy wouldn't stop crying. For some reason, that grated on his nerves. His presence alone should have calmed Gabriel. But instead, Gabriel had looked at him with such profound sadness, betrayal that Lucas felt his hackles raised, his defense stacked up.

Unable to deal with the shattered look directed at him, Lucas changed tactics. He wanted to know more about the assault anyway. But that's when Gabriel freaked. He almost went into a cardiac arrest from how fast his heart had been beating, the beeps on the machine went at a galloping pace. The doctor and nurses managed to stabilize him, but it had been a close call.

Of course then, they had both been kicked out. Reprimanded and admonished. Temper flying high but not wanting to cause more of a scene, Lucas had taken his leave. Now that he's home, he wants to break things. He glares at the empty living room. It's past midnight and the clients he scheduled tonight are long gone. The children should be asleep. He strips off his coat and throws it onto the couch. He needs to vent out his anger.

If it were an ordinary night, he would have reached out to Gabriel. The boy has a calming effect on him. But at the same time, he also incites this anger in him. A dark, ugly, twisted thing that writhes around inside him waiting to strike. He doesn't wish to dwell on these feelings too much, knowing the can of worms that would open. And he's not equipped to deal with that. He can't. Not yet. So he buries them deep and lets his instincts play.

Gordon. Gabriel's last word before he passed out was Gordon. Before they left, Zael had gone to see the medical personnel who had performed the rape kit on Gabriel. According to her, there were semen in and on his body and judging from the quantity, she estimated it to be from multiple donors. She also found defensive wounds on Gabriel's arms and skin fiber from under his nails, all of which she had collected and sent to the lab for analysis. Unfortunately, it will take a day or two before results will be back and then it'll be another long wait to see if they'll match anyone on CODIS. Right now, their only lead is the name. Gordon.

Zael had promised to run Gordon's name through the database. With this degree of violence, he's convinced the man would have a record somewhere. If the MO matched any opened or closed cases, they would know. They have a picture of him as well, so it will make identifying him easy. Zael also sent word to Alastair to inquire about the name Gordon on the streets. But again, all these will also take time. And that's what pisses Lucas most right now. The fact that some fucker assaulted Gabriel, and there is nothing he can do about it but wait around, fiddling his thumbs.

He storms into his office, determined to do some digging himself. He has sources. He could find that bastard. He slams the door open, the distant light from the hallway casting a weak beam into the dark room. Unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt, he flips on the light switch. And his heart stops.

Sitting behind his desk is a man. He is staring up at Lucas with sparkling blue eyes beneath long black lashes. His lips curl up into a small smirk, raven black hair a stark contrast to his creamy pale skin. In his hand is a Colt with a silencer on it, pointing straight at Lucas's heart.

"Hello, Lucas."

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 10

"Are you Gabriel Ward's guardian?"

Startled, Lucas glances up, just only noticing the nurse in front of him. "Gabriel is my charge, yes." He stands, nerves jangling. "How is he?"

The nurse is sympathetic when she speaks. "As you might have already known, Gabriel has been severely beaten and there were signs of sexual assault. He suffered internal hemorrhage in his brain and anal region. We were able to stop the bleeding with the surgery. There's also a hairline fracture to his left hip as well as a broken nose, and a dislocated jaw. His condition is stable for now, but we will know more after 24 hours. He's awake now, but he's not entirely lucid yet. I'm not sure how much help he can be in term of questioning." She directs the last part at Zael who'd also stand and is listening closely.

"Can I see him?" Lucas asks.

"Of course, he is on the 3rd floor, Room 3b. Please try not to cause him any more distress. He needs to rest."

"I understand." The nurse nods and walks away. Before he can say anything else, Zael announces, "I'm coming," and strides past him towards the elevators bearing no argument. Lucas rolls his eyes and follows.

---

Chase is with his third and final client of the night. He is sore. Not all his clients tonight are like Cupid. He will admit that the dude has some issues, but at least, he was gentle with him. He was not afforded that same luxury after Cupid. The one called 'Patrick' wanted him to call him Daddy while he did all sort of despicable things to him. He hoped the man doesn't have a son at home whom he's harboring this sick obsession with.

Baldwin groans as he comes, at long last pulling out of his sore ass. Chase's body is tense with pain and tired from exhaustion. Gabriel's bed is starting to smell heavily of sex and sweat. Any traces of his sweet smelling soap are long gone. Hugging Gabriel's pillow, the worry and concern that have been niggling at his consciousness come back at full force. Lucas hadn't called. The uncertainty turns into fear, crawling over him, prickling him. He fidgets, agitated, the need to do something to quell that dread feeling overpowering.

There's a rustle of clothing, and he turns to see Baldwin pulling on his clothes quietly. Come to think of it, he doesn't really speak much, or at all except for the occasional sex noises. Chase could or did have worse. With Baldwin, it feels... Mundane. Boring even. The man comes in, strips and fuck. Very businesslike. Very impersonal. He'll take Baldwin over Patrick anytime.

Now that he's no longer distracted by someone's dick pumping in and out of him, he can hear the patter of the rain outside. Chase pushes himself up and pushes the curtain aside. A lighting flashes followed by the sound of thunder. Adjusting his eyes to the darkness outside, he notices that it's pouring. Rain splashes down onto the streets, creating puddles everywhere. The trees are dancing in the wind sending leaves and twigs flying.

Chase marvels for a while, mesmerized by the forces of Mother Nature. This must be what Gabriel's referring to. He smiles, then looks down at the pillow he's still clutching. After a moment, he turns to stare up at Baldwin, an idea forming in his head.

"Hey, uh... Baldwin?" Chase starts, hesitant. Baldwin turns dull eyes on him, his fingers busy with the buttons on his shirt. "Do you think you can do me a favor?" Both of Baldwin's thick worm-like eyebrows shoot up, almost disappearing into his hairline. Chase would think it's hilarious if he isn't so nervous.

"A friend of mine is in the hospital, and I'm really worried about him. I'm wondering if it would be possible if you could erm..." He swallows. "Drive me to the hospital?" When Baldwin remains quiet, he licks his lips and tries. "I'll make it worth your while."

Baldwin seems to consider this. He finishes buttoning up his shirt and is grabbing his coat when he nods his head towards the door. Heart soaring, Chase shoots out of bed and starts pulling on his jeans and t-shirt, not bothering with his boxers. He's going to see Gabriel! He can't believe his luck. It's with much difficulty that he remains unaffected when he feels like he's about to break into a dance. A jiggle. His face muscles twitch as he tries to reel in his grin.

He follows Baldwin to his car parked outside at a run because damn, it's storming hard. When he reaches the car, he pauses, looking at it incredulously, blinking water from his eyes. It's a MINI. Baldwin is a big man, robust and thick, very squarish in his features. He watches as Baldwin stuffs himself into the MINI and can't help but let out an undignified snigger that he quickly covers up with a sudden burst of coughing when Baldwin turns his gorilla-like face on him.

Meekly, he opens the passenger side door and climbs in, noting that he's drenched and most likely making a huge wet stain in the seat. He rubs at his arms, unable to stop the slight chatter of his teeth and the goosebumps prickling all over his body. In his rush, he had forgotten his coat. Baldwin starts the car, turns up the heater and pulls out the parking spot.

Sighing as the car starts to warm up, he slips lower into the seat. He closes his eyes and relaxes into the relative quiet of the car, listening to the muffled howls of the wind outside and the soft hum of the engine. God, he's exhausted. Just as he's about to nod off, he's startled awake by a low monotonous voice. "I want you to give me road head."

Looking to his side, he watches as Baldwin keeps his eyes straight on the road, shoulder stiff as his fingers tightens on the steering wheels. The man seems tensed, nervous. Uncomfortable. A passing car drives by and drenches Baldwin's face in its headlights. Chase blinks, thinking it's a trick of the light. But no, Baldwin is blushing! The man who pays for sex is flustered about having road head. It's absurd.

Maybe it's not so much the act itself, but the fact that Chase now knows it's a fetish of his that got Baldwin red-faced. His own face feels hot as he recalls the one night he spent with a high school senior. Rhonda Harvey. She had made him try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And he liked it. He vowed to take that little tidbit to his grave.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he leans over and unzips Baldwin's slack. As he pushes Baldwin's brief down, he's surprised to see that the man is already supporting a chub. Impressive, seeing as he'd just come not ten minutes ago. He teases the head and massages his balls with his hands.

In no time at all, Baldwin is panting through his nose, thighs shaking. For a moment there, he's afraid they're going to crash, but when he looks up, Baldwin's eyes are still trained on the road. He searches around in the glove compartment, criticizing himself for forgetting the condoms, sighing in relief when he found some. Without hesitating, he rolls the condom on.

The condom's the non-flavored kind, and it tastes horrible. He's busy bobbing his head when someone honks their horn. Baldwin comes with a grunt. Chase pulls back and tucks Baldwin's softening dick in his briefs and zips him up.

Chase's mouth and chin are slick with drool, and he grabs the collar of his t-shirt to wipe it off. Baldwin is still sitting straight and watching the road. The only difference being is his face is now flushed and eyes bright from his orgasm. Chase leans back into his seat once more, eyes staring out at the storming night, the streaks of water dashing across the glass window.

I'm coming, Gabe. Wait for me.

---

The sound of beeping is loud in his ears. Everything is dark. He's feeling fuzzy, groggy like he's stuffed full of cotton. His breathing is slow, and every breath seems to take too much effort. His body feels like lead, heavy and weighing a ton. When he tries to move his fingers, they twitch a little. He tries wiggling his toes, not sure if they'd even moved, just feels a tingling sensation. Why is everything so dark? Did someone turn off the lights?

It takes him a while before he realizes that he has eyes closed. He tries opening them, his eyelids fluttering. Sharp, bright light assaults him, and he closes his eyes immediately, groaning as he turns his face to the side, stopping when the movement causes him to feel sick. His face hurts. Now that he is getting more aware, it seems like everything hurts. Not a sharp kind of pain, more like a dull throb. He moans his discomfort. The sound is hardly audible. His mouth feels dry and his throat raw. Slowly, he lifts his eyelids once more.

Everything looks blurry for a moment. He blinks. Once. Twice. Squints a little before everything comes into focus. There is a machine beside him. So that's what was making the annoying beeping sound. He glares at it grumpily. Then, he looks down at himself. He is lying in a bed surrounded by what looks like a shower curtain. He frowns. He tries to sit up but decides against it when pain explodes down the back of his spine. He lies still for a while, eyes closed as he waits for the pain to subside.

Where is he? What the hell happened? He tries to think but his head hurts too much, and he gives up. He's so tired. Everything feels like too much effort. His breathing evens out. It's time to rest now.

The jingles from the metal rings holding the shower curtain up disturb his peace. He opens his eyes and blinks up at the man standing at the foot of his bed. The man is staring at him with a solemn expression, brows furrowed and jaw clenched. He looks familiar. He frowns as the man walks towards him and seated himself onto the chair by his bedside. He hadn't even noticed the chair there before.

"How are you feeling, Gabriel?" the man asks in a soft voice.

Gabriel. Is that his name? Gabriel? He turns the name over and over in his head, repeating it to himself. Gabriel... Gabriel... You're always so good for me, Gabriel. An image of the man wrapping him up in his arms, kissing him softly on his lips flickers through his mind. The feeling of being romanced and seduced accompany the memory. He warms up to the man immediately when suddenly a myriad of images flashes past, quick and unrelenting, memories coming back to him in sharp focus. Vicious and cruel. Merciless and violent.

Zael. The parties. The men. The bench. Each memory strikes him like a whip, hitting Gabriel hard and fast, leaving a sting like a burn behind. His vision begins to blur, and someone starts sobbing. A heart-wrenching sort of cry. He searches the room, trying to find the source of it and realizes that they are coming from him. Tears leak out the corner of his eyes, seeping into his hair and staining the pillow.

"Hey hey... Gabriel, shhh..." Lucas says, wiping the tears away with his thumb. "It's okay. You're safe now, Gabriel," he soothes. More tears flood down Gabriel's face. "Shhhh... There's no need to cry... I'm here. You're safe," he says again.

Gabriel doesn't know why he's crying, why he couldn't stop crying. Seeing Lucas now, it's like a veil has been lifted. The memories burn strongly behind his eyes. He can see it so clearly now. The subtle changes. The kindness, the charm, the promises. The subsequent favors, requests, demands. He chokes in the knowledge as he stares at the man he'd loved and watches as everything he thought he knew shatters into pieces around him. It's like he's stepping through the looking glass and sees reality for what it is.

From the very beginning, it had all been a ploy to manipulate him. Trick him. Use him. Lucas had never loved him. He's never cared. It had all been a lie. False promises. How did he not see? Had he been so blinded all these time? Or was he so pathetic, so desperate for love, he hid behind the smokescreen of self denial? His body hurts, but it's nothing like how he's hurting inside. So he keeps crying. He cries for the loss of something he never had. Because no matter what Lucas feels for him, Gabriel had loved and lost. He cries for the boy he used to be. Cries for his naivety, his innocence; tossed into a world so cruel he couldn't begin to understand.

"Gabriel, stop crying. You're just going to hurt yourself further," Lucas demands, voice hard. More tears pour out of his blue eyes, but he's quiet now, mouth tight as he tries to hold his sobs in. Lucas sighs. "Gabriel, do you know who did this to you?"

Gabriel lets out a pitiful whine as tears fall in earnest now, soaking the right side of his pillow. His breathing starts to hitch as he struggles to breathe. The machine starts beeping frantically, each beep resounding loudly in his ears. His body begins to tremble, shaking so hard the bed starts to rattled.

Lucas stands up in alarm as another man rushes to his bed. Zael. Honeyed sweet voice. Gentle touches. Unwanted touch. Seeing him there, at the foot of his bed sends Gabriel into a panic attack. He couldn't breathe, staring with wide frightened eyes at Zael, gripping and pulling at the sheets. Everything seems so large, so loud. His head is spinning. Lucas is shouting something at Zael, and the man retreats behind the curtain.

Still staring at the space Zael's left behind, Gabriel startles as Lucas's hands clamp onto his shoulders, leaning low and putting his face right in his personal space. Lucas seems to be saying something, but Gabriel couldn't hear anything apart from the beeps and them. The chorus of jeers and laughter. It hurts. Everything starts to blur, and he could taste the blood in his mouth. The bitter taste of semen. The rough hands on his body. And the pain. Pure unadulterated pain.

Gabriel can feel the bile at the back of his throat, threatening to come up. His body jerks and he is leaning over the railing of his bed, vomiting. He pukes until there is nothing left to barf. He coughs and splutters, hacking out a stomach as he dry heaves. His vision is blurry, and he is sweating even though he feels cold. He collapses back on the bed, closing his eyes. He feels so weak. His body is shutting down. Right before he passes out, he manages to whisper. "Gordon... They called him Gordon." Then, everything goes black.

[PREVIEW] MWR up!

Nerd doing housework.. it's the end of the world XD

[TIER 2] Guilty Conscience 2.0

Who else gets guilty staying in and then try to be crazy productive? LOL

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 9

When they arrive at the hospital, they're met by a doctor and three nurses at the door to the emergency unit. The doctor is quick to ask about his stats, the head paramedic handing over a clipboard. He reads it on the go, striding alongside the nurses as they roll the stretcher to the emergency room. Trailing at his side, the head paramedic lists off a few observations. Chase manages to catch words like; trauma victim, massive blood loss, head injuries and possible concussion, as he follows, eyes wide.

That doesn't sound good. He looks back at Gabriel, who's lying unconscious on the stretcher. There is a make-shift bandage on his head now soaked with blood. His heart squeezes tight. Gabriel's going to be alright. He is bleeding yeah, but these doctors are going to fix him up in no time.

If he needs more blood, then Chase is a willing blood bag. He just needs Gabriel to be alright. He has to be. He doesn't think he can go through suffering the loss of another person he cared about so soon after his dad. Tightening his grip on the rails of the stretcher, he follows.

Out of nowhere, a palm rests on his chest stopping him and his grip on the stretcher slips. He tries to grab it, but it's too late. He watches as Gabriel disappears behind two swinging doors. When he looks up, Chase stares into the face of a stern looking nurse.

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to wait here."

Chase glances at the closed door and back at the nurse, opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He has reached his breaking point. The head paramedic touches the nurse's arm, communicating silently. The nurse nods and glances up. Staring her in the face, he realizes that she's the sympathetic paramedic from earlier.

"Why don't we take a seat over there? You must be exhausted." She points to a row of chairs just a few feet away.

He glances towards the chairs then back at the paramedic. The name tag on her shirt reads "Hael." Then, he looks back at the closed door of the emergency room, feeling numb and lost. Tears start to pool in his eyes, and he bites his lips, trying to stop himself from crying. He had cried enough today. And Gabriel is going to be fine, so why the hell is he crying? Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he looks up. Hael is looking at him, concerned.

"What's your name?" she asks.

"Chase."

"Well, Chase. Don't worry. I'm sure the doctor is doing his very best to save your... um..." she hesitates, unsure on how to refer Gabriel.

"Friend. He is my friend. His name is Gabe. Gabriel Ward." His voice is so hoarse and gruff, rough from all the tears.

Hael nods then adds. "I know the doctor who's working on him. Dr. Benton is one of the best here. Your friend is in good hands." When he doesn't answer, just nods dumbly, she continues. "Is there someone I could call? His parents? Family members? They will want to know."

He shakes his head. "No, he is an orphan. Like me. We lived in the same group home."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there someone at the home I should call?"

"You could call Lucas, I guess." He jots down the number of the home on Hael's notepad and watches as she walks to the reception desk to make the call. Lucas is going to be pissed. Shoulders slumping, he walks towards one of the chairs and sinks into it. He feels drained all a sudden. He covers his face with his hands, leaning forward and tries to shut out the background noise of the hospital. The strong smell of disinfectant is giving him a headache.

He isn't sure how long he'd been waiting when an officer approaches him. He introduces himself as Officer Corbett and says that he's here to take his statement. He was understanding and patient when Chase struggled to describe the scene of the crime, unable to stop his voice from cracking. He told Officer Corbett about the men he saw leaving the truck stop.

When asked for more details, he mentioned the Harleys and the black man and no, he hadn't caught any number plates. Officer Corbett wanted to know why they were there in the first place, so he made up some story about their dinner appointment just to be safe. Chase doesn't know how far Zael's reach in the police force is and doesn't want to incur his wrath. Satisfied with his answers, Officer Corbett gave him a pat on the back and left him alone.

He stares at the closed doors, legs jittering with nerves. Every time the doors swing open and a doctor or a nurse steps out, his heart skips a beat. But there's still no news on Gabriel yet. He glances up at the clock hanging on the white walls of the hospital. It has been almost an hour now, what the hell is taking so long? He's starting to get agitated, jerky so he hums Metallica under his breath, tapping the tune out on his thigh. It's a nervous habit, but it calms him down.

Did something go wrong? Is Gabriel going into cardiac arrest? Are they jump-starting his heart right now? With the machine and two metal plates? What is it called? A defibrillator? Is his vitals going down? Chase had watched enough Dr. Sexy reruns to form a compilation of scary medical malfunctions. Sitting there, scaring himself half of out of his mind with possible worst case scenarios, he's snapped out of his horror by someone rudely slapping their hands together in front of his face.

"What the hell happened?!" Lucas seethes, face livid.

Blinking, Chase takes in the fury pouring off Lucas in waves, shocked. He's never known Lucas to be capable of expressing emotions like this. He's always so calm and impassive, even when he arrived at the club last night and found Gabriel half conscious. His voice was even, and his eyes icy when he admonished Alastair. Nothing like how he looks like now, blue eyes blazing, nostril flaring and lips in a tight line. His blonde hair is a disheveled mess.

"He asked you a question. Are you mute? Can't you speak?" Zael snaps from beside Lucas, wearing the same expression of fury.

"I- I don't know. I went to the truck stop, and I just found him like this. Beaten bloody." Then, in a whisper, he adds. "I think he had been raped..."

Lucas snaps his head toward Zael. "Who the hell would do this?" he demands, glaring daggers at Zael. "I thought you had your people under control! Where's Alastair? Aren't his men supposed to be keeping the streets safe?"

"I assure you, no one I know is responsible for this. They wouldn't dare," Zael says, voice tight. "You know as much as I do that Alastair's men don't have eyes everywhere. And they're more repercussions than prevention."

"Repercussion I can do myself. What I needed him to do is to keep my people safe. And now-" Lucas motions towards the emergency door.

"Trust me, I'm as angry as you are. Gabriel's a good kid." Zael glances towards the doors, eyes angry, but there's a tinge of sadness to it. "He doesn't deserve this."

"At least tell me we know who did this."

"The witnesses that we'd spoken to didn't seem to notice much apart from Chase rushing into the deli with Gabriel. The truck stop is an inbetween place. These men could have just been passing through which will make senses. They couldn't have known of the unspoken embargo on your people." Zael turns his attention to Chase. "In your statement, you said they all drive a Harley?" When he nods, Zael continues. "Where did they park them?"

Chase tries to remember. "By the deli. In front of the windows that looked out to the parking lot."

Zael nods, a determined look on his face. "They have cameras at the truck stop, near the front of the deli. I'll check to see if they manage to capture these men. Maybe it will shed some light on who these people were," Zael reassures Lucas. "I will hunt these men down myself if I have to."

Lucas nods, still angry but somewhat calmer. "Thank you, Zael." Lucas gazes at the closed doors, a grim expression on his face before he seems to remember him. "Chase, it's almost eight. Go home. You have work to do." And anticipating his protest, Lucas adds. "I'll keep you updated on how Gabriel is doing."

"I want to stay. I need to stay. I need to be here. What if- what if..." He couldn't make himself continue.

"Go home, Chase. There's nothing you can do here. Do not make me repeat myself again. A police officer will give you a ride home." He motions towards Officer Corbett, who's having a deep conversation with Zael.

"But-"

"Don't force me to do something you wouldn't want me to do, Chase. I'm not in the mood for arguments. Think about your brother."

He pales staring at Lucas with wide eyes, unable to believe his ears. It's a staring contest, icy cold blue eyes, so unlike Gabriel's warm blue ones against green. This is one fight he'll never win. Clenching his jaws, he storms towards the exit. Fuck Lucas and his fucking whorehouse. Fuck.

Fuming into the night sky, it isn't long before Officer Corbett comes out and leads him to a patrol car. He opens the passenger side door and waits for Chase to climb in. He does so and slams the car door shut with a loud bang. He winces. It isn't Officer Corbett's fault that Lucas is being a dick. He shouldn't take out his anger on the man.

But boy, does he hate Lucas's gut so much right now. He couldn't believe that Lucas would threaten him with Sam! While Gabriel is in the hospital no less? He could be dead, and Chase wouldn't even know! Tears prick at the corner of his eyes, and he grabs his thighs hard in case he might hit something.

The drive back to the home is quiet and tense, the sky outside getting darker and gloomier by the minute. Officer Corbett seemed to sense that he's not in the mood to talk and had decided to mind his own business. It's probably for the best seeing as he's still stewing in anger, he might bite the poor guy's head off for no reason.

Watching the streetlights pass in a blur, he can't shut out the bigger louder part of him that's worried sick about Gabriel. Is he okay? Is he awake? Is he scared? What if-? He stops himself before he can finish the thought.

Soon enough, Officer Corbett is pulling up at the home. He undoes his seatbelt, mutters thanks under his breath and gets out of the car. There's a few strange cars parked outside. The lights are on inside the house, filtering through the flimsy curtains. He could see shadows moving in one of them. Giving Officer Corbett a curt wave as he pulls away, he walks into the house going straight to his room.

Sam is lying on the bed, books open all around him. When he sees Chase, his face brightens, scrambling up onto his knees.

"Chase! You're back! Did you find Gabe?"

"Hey buddy, yeah I did." He walks over to Sam and sits beside him, wrapping him in his arms. "But he is not feeling too well, so he is going to be at the doctor's for a while."

"Is he okay?"

He nods. "Yeah, buddy. Gabe is tough for a little nerdy dude. He is going to be alright." He lets go of Sam and turns around to fumble in his bedside drawer. Taking out a mp3 player, he holds it out to Sam. "I'm going to work for a little bit. Why don't you listen to some music while you're working on your..." He takes in the mess of books on Sam's bed. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Oh, I'm reading one of Amelia's books. There are a lot of words that I don't understand. So I borrowed a few dictionaries from the others," Sam says sheepishly.

"That's... That's great, Sammie! Attaboy! Always known you're the smart one in the family," he grins, heart swelling with pride. "You've finished the one Ms. Rosen asked you to, right?" Sam nods. "Here, take these," he says, putting the earbuds into Sam's ear.

"But Chaseeeee... All you listened to are Metallica, ACDC, and classic rock songs," Sam whines. "They're noises. How could I concentrate like this?"

"Ah shush, what do you know about music? ACDC rocks," he smirks, playing 'Back In Black'. Sam rolls his eyes when the music hits his ears. Taking one earbud out, he instructs, "Now, be a good boy and continue your reading. I'll just be in Gabe's room. Be back before you know it. If you need something, come over. But knock first," he adds sternly. Then, he leans over and kisses Sam's forehead, "Love you, buddy."

"I love you too, Chase." Sam sticks the earbud back into his ear and lies down on the bed again, trying to find a comfy position. He smiles down at Sam and pats his head. Sam dodges out of the way, sending him a scowling bitch face. Raising his hands up in a universal sign of surrender, he steps outside the room, closing the door shut.

As he approaches Gabriel's room, his body feels heavier with every step he takes. He is going to have to do this in Gabriel's room. In his bed. Which would undoubtedly smell like him. His heart clenches again. His heart muscles seem to be having a massive workout today, and he wonders if he's going to go into cardiac arrest anytime soon.

17 years old male died of heart attack during a dubious sexual encounter with an older man. That sounds like a winning headline. Cringing at the lame attempt at trying to distract himself, he takes a deep breath and pushes open Gabriel's door. A chubby middle aged man greets him.

"About time. What took you so long?" he whines in a childlike voice.

"I'm sorry, something came up," he starts when the man stands up, already naked except for the tiny white thong peeking out from under his big belly. Wrapping his big arms around Chase, the man gives him a big bear hug, squeezing the air out of him as he almost lifts him up.

"It's okay. You're here now."

"Gotta... Breath..." Chase wheezes out, falling back onto his feet when the man lets go of him with a sheepish apology.

"Oh and you can call me Cupid." Chase almost rolls his eyes at that. Babies in diapers. Ain't that accurate. Oblivious, Cupid motions to the bed. "Shall we?" Chase stares at his over eager face. Great, he's going to get fucked by someone called Cupid.

Nodding, he undresses and climbs into Gabriel's bed, lying on his stomach. He reaches towards the drawers beside the bed and opens them, searching for the condoms. He spots an analog camera in the bottom drawer. Frowning, he ignores it to grab at the condom packet and throws them on the bed. He digs his face into Gabriel's pillow and breathes deeply. Chase relaxes into the familiar scent of the home's fruity shampoo and something else that's just Gabriel. A little musky and heady, like Gabriel has been sweating into his pillow. His eyes snap open. Gabriel probably did, especially if he's been fucked into this bed every night.

Okay, this is just wrong, breathing in Gabriel's sex stench while he is in the hospital, fighting for his life. He doesn't have much time to dwell on it, though because then Cupid drapes himself over him. It's like being squashed by a giant cushion. Not the lightweight cottony cushion. A substantial cushion. A cushion filled with rice. Struggling to breathe, he closes his eyes and hopes that Cupid doesn't last long.

---

The hospital is bustling with activities, and the noises are driving him up the wall. Lucas gets up from where he'd been sitting the past hour and paces the floor, head whirring. He's feeling confused and partly perplexed. He wasn't surprised by the rage that had consumed him upon hearing about Gabriel. That was to be expected. No, what he didn't understand was the feeling that came after. The sudden fear. He was worried.

He'd calmed down since, but that fleeting panic about the boy had him concerned. He'd be fooling himself if he said he doesn't feel something for the boy. But he had thought it was purely physical. But this? The alarm he felt. It's disconcerting.

Why does he care about someone whom he felt this inexplicit desire to hurt? This makes no sense at all. Frustrated, he focuses his excess energy on the source of the problem. Someone had hurt one of his people. That someone had thrown out an open challenge to his authority and power. That someone has got to pay.

Pacing around some more, he sneaks glances at Zael, who's occupying one of the chairs, busy typing something on his phone. He had wanted to stay in case Gabriel woke up, and he could get a statement from him.

From the three months he'd known Zael excluding the one month he'd spent studying him, he thinks he knows the man inside out. Zael is ambitious and career driven. It didn't take him long after he'd graduated from the Academy to make Lieutenant for the Criminal Division. A great start to a promising career. At least it was until an unfortunate incident involving a misfiring. For a year, he scraped by unnoticed and forgotten.

Then out of the blue, a few years back, he began to solve case after case, closing each case with a success rate of 100%. It launched him back onto the map and the next few years saw a steady climb in his career. It took him another year and a high profile arrest of the local cartel's second in command that got him into the position of Chief of Police. He doesn't know what kind of devil's deal he'd made with the local gangs, but Lucas's certain that his success is man-made.

Maybe because of that, Zael is a control freak. He needs to know everyone and everything that goes on in his city. That's one of the reasons Zael approached him in the first place. Yes, he may have had eyes on Zael for some time, but it was the man who made the first move. Noting the changes in the local gangs' chain of commands, the unsolved murders, Zael can spot an up and comer a mile away. As he stares at Zael's gaunt face, high cheekbones casting his face in shadows, Lucas can understand why the man is stressed right now.

Scrubbing his face with his hands, Lucas returns his gaze at the clock. The time seems to crawl by. Apart from that one time a nurse asked for his signature for a consent form, he'd heard nothing. From that brief conversation, he'd gathered that Gabriel suffered massive internal bleeding and needed to be prepared for surgery right away. He had signed the forms without another word. But that had been hours ago, and the waiting is starting to eat at him.

"I've got you, motherfucker," Zael exclaims in his breathy gruff voice. Standing up triumphed, Zael strides towards him with his mobile phone outstretched. "We've got a clear shot of those men that Chase saw. Take a look."

He takes Zael's mobile phone and stares at the picture of a black man on a Harley. Not recognizing the man, he returns the device. "Do you know who he is?" Zael shakes his head. "No, he's not familiar to me. I've sent these pictures out to every database and patrol car. If they're still in the city, they won't get far. Alastair's also sending out his feelers. If he finds anything, we'll know."

Nodding, he prays for these men that they've left the city. Because if they're not, they would wish they were. He's good with faces, and he has got this man's face memorized. Good thing too, because once he gets his hands on him, there would be no face left to find.

[MERCH] Punk Plush pictures collage!

Heyhey! I heard that a lot of you have already gotten your Punk plush! Some of you tweeted it to me and some on insta! Too bad Patreon doesn't allow you all to send me photos! I'm so want to see the pics!! So I was thinking, if you all want to send in pictures of your punk plush, you can send it to me at sakuradayana.pltarts@gmail.com And I'll make a extra episode of Nerd on Twatch with all the pictures to share on Patreon, Webtoon and Tapas! I'll also put your name under the picture ^^ So when you email me, give me the nickname you want to be put! ^^

I'm so glad you all like him! And pretty soon, Nerd will be here as well! His sample is already in the making! So prepared!

[PREVIEW] MWR canon smut up!

And we finally delved into Punk x Ash first time together OWO

[TIER 10] MWR: Escape

And we finally get to see PunkxAsh sex scene! XD In Punk's POV though hehehe XD

When we first heard about Punk's gay sex, we all were all pretty much blaming Ash cause Punk said he was drunk >.< but as you can see, he really do think that he was the bad one in this story, that's why when Bane accused him of using Ash, Punk didn't deny it >.< Punk was actually still in a bad place when he started uni UWU

[PREVIEW] MWR nsfw illustration up!

Who's a fan of Punk x Ash smut? XD

[TIER 7] MWR: Punk x Ash NSFW illustration

Up next, as you can guess, we finally get some Punk x Ash smut XD

[PREVIEW] MWR up!

Guess who wins in the 'keeping their own thing' when living together department? XD

[TIER 2] MWR: Moral Dilemma

When you be dealing with moral dilemma every morning... Who else does this? *raise hand*

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 8

Warning for rape and violence. Please proceed with caution.

---

Water floods into his lungs. He can't breathe. His body convulses as he trashes. Every breath burns as he desperately tries to get air into his protesting lungs. He's suffocating. Swallowing lungfuls of water through his nose and mouth, his screams turning into bubbles in front of his eyes, he realizes. So this is how drowning feels like.

Then, all of a sudden, he can breathe again. Gabriel gasps, choking and spluttering, taking gulps after gulps of much-needed air, at the same time coughing up water from his lungs. Shuddering violently, he takes in his surroundings. He's on his knees in front of a toilet bowl, the front of his t-shirt drenched. Water rolls off his hair and face as he pants, blinking water out of his eyes.

Someone grabs him by the arms and drags him back out, dropping him in the middle of the room. He stares around the restroom, taking in the blood splatter on the sink and the smudges on the floor around him. Five men are gathered around him. They look furious. One of them kicks him in the stomach. He groans, curling onto his side as he tries to make himself a smaller target.

"Fucking weak!" Another kick. Followed by another grunt of pain.

"Fucking useless, aren't you?" A sharp kick at his shoulder spins him onto his back.

"Taking cocks. That's all you're good at." Someone places their foot between his thigh, right above his flaccid penis and balls. "Bet you couldn't get it up even if you try," he taunts, applying more pressure. He whimpers as the man grinds the sole of his boots down onto his crotch. Writhing and squirming in pain, he grabs at the boots trying to push it away but it only comes down harder. He cries, the sound strangled, guttural. The man lifts his boots, smirking. Clutching his balls, he rolls to his side, legs closing in on itself.

Someone walks by his head, the boots stopping directly in front of his face. He flinches as whoever it is, moves but instead of kicking him in the face like he expected, he crouches down. Rough fingers grip his chin, jerking his head upwards. Gabriel stares blearily at the figure in front of him. Gordon. "Thank you for a good time, little bitch," he says, giving his cheek two firm pat. Then, without warning, his fist connects with his jaw forcefully, spit and blood flying as his head spins around. Gabriel collapses, knocking his head hard against the tiled floor.

"Time to hit the road, boys," he says as he wipes his hands on Gabriel's shirt. Standing up, Gordon steps over his body to the exit. The sounds of more footsteps follow.

The door bangs open and falls close with a soft click. Everything goes silent. All Gabriel can hear is the steady drip of leaking taps and the smell of blood and urine to accompany him. He lies on the floor, unable to move, his vision blurring. He doesn't know if it's because he's crying or he's losing consciousness, but he can feel his body begin to shake. It starts slow, one moment he is lying on the floor, struggling to breathe through the blood in his mouth and nose, his labored breathing echoing off the restroom walls. The next, he is hit with a wave of spasms so hard that his muscles cramped up, causing him to convulse violently.

The funny thing is, as his body goes into shock, all he can think of are the things he came here to forget. Kind green eyes. A warm smile. Long lashes. A smattering of freckles. And sandy blonde hair. A tear falls from his lashes and leaks down the side of his face to the floor. He closes his eyes and lets the convulsion take over. Right before he is swallowed by darkness, he swears he heard someone call out his name. Whoever it is, sounds young. Familiar.

Gabe.

Someone takes him into their arms. He could feel their warmness against his damp and chilled skin. But he's still convulsing, and the darkness is all consuming. Someone is cupping his face but he can't see. He feels himself falling, and for the first time since he was assaulted, he doesn't want to die. He wants to stay here, in this person's arms where it's warm and soft. He doesn't want to die.

I'm sorry.

There are no snippets of the top 10 moments of his life. No flashbacks or memories. Nothing.

Just him.

Chase.

---

Chase tugs on his leather jacket as he ambles down the few cobble steps at the front of the house, bowlegs apparent in his loose fitting jeans. The day is still warm enough without a jacket, but it's getting a little windy now, making it feels a degree or two colder. He hunches his shoulder forward, the leather jacket hanging off his slight frame. It used to belong to his dad. When he disappeared, he left some of his things behind. The jacket is one of Chase's favorites. It still smells like dad sometimes if he's desperate enough. Wearing it makes him feel a tad safer, stronger. And he needs all the courage he could get for his talk with Gabriel.

He takes a deep breath. To be honest, he's feeling anxious about having this conversation. He stands by his words that he sucks at these feelings crap. They're messy and confusing and trying to talk about them is like pulling teeth. They're just damn hard to get out. Why can't people just understand what he is trying to say without him actually saying it? The world would be a much better place. No misunderstanding. No putting your foot in your mouth. Something he's unnaturally good at. And isn't that just great.

Shaking his head, he's still in disbelief. Gabriel must not be coping very well if this is what he resorted to. And could Chase blame him? He's in a relationship with someone who abuses him both mentally and physically. To make matters worse, Gabriel actually believes that he deserves this life, that he belongs on the streets. Believes this to be some sort of atonement. And for what? For something that he has no control over whatsoever! What kind of fucked up logic is that? His head hurts trying to make sense of it.

Because Gabriel is awesome, okay? Sure, the guy can be awkward and is too intense sometimes. The way he stares makes you feel like he could see inside your soul. It's creepy but for some reason, Chase likes it. It feels like he's being seen. Years spent moving around, it makes forming relationships hard; friends and otherwise. And with dad being gone most of the time, sometimes it feels like nobody really sees him. Except for Sam, he has no one.

Despite his intensity or perhaps because of it, makes Gabriel a compassionate person. The guy has a lot of heart. He's capable of so much love, caring, thoughtful and giving to those around him. Only he could forgive so quickly and easily, happy to accept an apology. Gabriel is so earnest and sincere about his feelings. He doesn't keep them locked up inside but wears them on his sleeves for all to see.

As much as it's his best attribute, too much heart is also Gabriel's problem. He loves with an entirety. He gives his heart and soul to the people around him, be it a stranger or a friend. And that's what makes Gabriel so great. He's selfless. Despite what he'd gone through, Gabriel still managed to keep his faith in humanity. After witnessing first hand the depravity of the lowest scumbags in society, he still believes in the goodness of people. Still looks at the world and sees the beauty of it. That's what makes him special.

Chase, on the other hand, has a jaded view of the world. But he's not a quitter. He's a fighter. Whatever happens, he'll go down swinging. He's too stubborn not to. But damn does he want to see the world the way Gabriel sees it. Like there's hope. A light at the end of the tunnel.

The sky rumbles. He looks up at the darkening clouds. Seems like it is going to be a rainy night. He hopes it storms. If he doesn't screw up too badly, maybe they could walk back together. Maybe they could watch the storm tonight, cuddled up nice and warm in a blanket. The thought warms his heart. He's addicted to hanging out with Gabriel. It feels so right to have him by his side. They don't even have to talk, the silence between them comfortable. Just soak in each other's presence. He can stare into those intense blue eyes forever.

God, he's so whipped if that's what his inner monologues sound like.

Chase mentally smacks his brain, telling it to shut up and glances up ahead. He knows which truck stop Lucas meant, had been there himself when dad had stopped to pump up on gas. From this distance, he can see the flickering neon sign promoting the deli. It'll take him about five minutes to get there. He doesn't want to think about what Gabriel is probably doing right now.

Awesome as he may be, Gabriel can be pretty dense. How could he not see his effect on Chase? Gabriel made him blush more in a day than he did in his entire lifetime. And he's not one to blush. In fact, he's quite the ladies man. But then again, he'd never been smooth with the men. When you're young, confused and scared, even the most well-thought move takes a swan dive.

He hadn't had much practice anyway. Not when part of him is terrified his old man would find out. Henry Reed is a man's man. A homicide detective. He wouldn't take well to his son being bisexual. Would never believe it's even a thing. The thought of his dad ever finding out makes his stomach squirms uncomfortably. It's easy to imagine the disappointment in his dad's eyes, the disgust on his face. Chase sighs. No matter how hard he tries to please his old man, he'll never be enough.

A rowdy crowd draws his attention, snapping him out of his depressing thoughts. He looks up, catching sight of a group of men laughing and jeering, showing off something on their phone. They're still a little too far away for him to make out what they are saying exactly but experiences tell him not to attract the attention of these men. Everything about them spells trouble. He slows his pace, watching as the group walks towards the Harleys parked in a row by the deli.

One of the men, a big black guy, jumps onto his bike and starts the engine, revving it to get the attention of the others. Even from this distance, Chase could see his bloodshot eyes, the feral glint in them. He shivers. The others climb onto their bike and one by one they leave the truck stop, revving their engines loudly as they fly past him, causing the hair on his skin to stand.

Morons. He shakes his head as he walks up to the building. Gabriel's most likely to be near the restroom. Not that he would know per se, he hadn't had to work the streets yet. He just guessed based on what he'd seen on television. Maybe it's stereotypical of him, considering the place actually looks decent, not dodgy or dingy like he thought it would be. Normal.

When he reaches the side of the building where the restroom is, he scans around for Gabriel. He frowns. No sight of Gabriel. Maybe he is currently with a client? In one of the trucks in the parking lot? He cranes his head upwards to see if he can spot any sign of life in any one of those trucks. Squinting, he surveys every windshield in the parking lot, on the lookout for any telltale signs. A bobbing head. Anything. Nothing.

He purses his lips. Maybe Gabriel is in the restroom? He hesitates. It's hurt him just to think of it; he's unsure if he wants to catch Gabriel in the act. He decides to wait around. As he leans against the wall outside, he hears a noise. His ears prick up. He looks around and then his eyes lock on the door to the restroom. Without warning, the hair on the back of his neck prickles. His heart thumps.

There, near the handle of the door, is a stain that looks like blood. The air grows thick around him, and his heart is drumming a heavy beat in his chest. Suddenly afraid, he swallows. Then he hears it again. A sort of choking, guttural and throaty.

Without thinking, he takes a step forward. Then another. And before he knows it, his hands are clasped around the doorknob, sticky with blood. Silence. So silent except for the turn of the doorknob, the click rings loud in his ears. A sharp coppery smell hits his nostrils. Chase throws the door open, and stares horrified. The scene in front of him is like something out of a horror movie.

There's blood smeared everywhere. The smell of it is overpowering, metallic and rusty. Combined with the pungent smell of bleach and urine, he doesn't think he'll ever be able to forget the smell. Lying in the middle of it all, is a boy. He's half naked and bloody. Chase's heart jumps to his throat when he recognizes the mop of dark hair.

Gabriel is seizing, eyes rolling into the back of his head, muscles spasming. All thoughts fly out of his head as Chase rushes forwards, falling onto his knees beside Gabriel. His vision starts to blur as tears fill his eyes.

"G- Gabe?" His voice breaks. He swallows and tries again. "GABE!" It's a wretched sound, strangled like his voice is being ripped from his throat. Chase hesitates for a while, hands hovering above the battered body unsure of what to do. Then, he pulls Gabriel into his arms and holds his head against his chest, fighting against the convulsion shaking his entire frame. Gabriel jerks one last time and stills, going limp in his arms.

His heart stops.

"Gabe?" His voice trembles, a tear rolls down his cheek. "Gabe?! W- Wake up!" he chokes, jostling Gabriel. His head lolls around listlessly, eyes closed. "No, please Gabe! Not now, please... Don't leave me!" he cries, fingers coming up to Gabriel's neck, searching for a pulse. "Not like this... GABE!"

He couldn't feel a damn thing! Stopping, Chase takes a deep breath and forces himself to calm down. Pressing two fingers over Gabriel's pulse point, he closes his eyes, tears spilling down both cheeks.

He feels it. A beat.

It's hardly there and dangerously slow. Snapping his eyes open, he moves into action. He shuffles out of his leather jacket and drapes it over Gabriel. Then, careful not to jar him too much, he lifts Gabriel up, bridal style. When he looks down at the broken face, the once bright blue eyes swollen shut, he feels a pang in his chest.

"It's okay, Gabe. Stay with me," he whispers. "I've got you. Just stay with me, buddy. Don't go to sleep."

He carries Gabriel out of the restroom, into the open. The sky is gloomy and foreboding, dark clouds rolling in, promising a storm. Afraid that Gabriel might have a punctured lung or broken bones, Chase keeps his grip firm and steady. It is hard to tell how bad his injuries are when his body is so battered and bruised, blood caking his head and thighs. He forces himself not to look at the dried come splattered all over Gabriel's body. He needs to keep his head straight. Focus. He needs to find help.

Throwing the door to the deli open with his shoulder, he cries out for help. His outburst causes the whole deli to go quiet, everyone turning to stare.

"Somebody, call 911. Please..." he begs.

It took a second before the deli erupts into action. Patrons scramble up from their seats and rush over. The waitress behind the counter reaches for the phone on the wall, dialing 911. Within seconds, he's surrounded by a mass of people, all plying him with questions and voicing their shock. When one of them tries to pry Gabriel out of his arms, he holds on tight, shaking his head as tears stream down his face.

He feels scared, overwhelmed and most of all useless as he cradles Gabriel closer, pressing a kiss into the mop of hair. His knees feel weak, and he lets himself slide to the ground, arms tight around the body in his lap. Closing his eyes, he buries his nose in Gabriel's hair. Every slow rise and fall of Gabriel's chest keeps him grounded, gives him hope.

He whispers reassurances and comforting words in Gabriel's ear, tells him that everything is going to be alright, and that help is on the way. He tells him to stay with him because he had promised to take Gabriel on a date and he's not one to break his promises. They still have to watch the rain together. And Chase's nowhere near done getting to know him. There's still so many things he doesn't know like what's his favorite color, his favorite food.

Chase tells him about his crush on him, how every look Gabriel threw at him made him blush, how his heart beat a little faster. He tells him he cares for him and that he doesn't want Gabriel to go, to leave him behind. He tells him about his abandonment issues, his fears, his insecurities. He spills out his soul until there is nothing left, just desperate pleas and Gabriel's name on his lips.

It feels like an eternity later before he finally hears the sound of sirens in the distance. Then, it's all a blur. The paramedics rush towards him, coaxing him to let go of Gabriel. He refuses at first, and it's not until after a sympathetic paramedic tells him that they need to strap Gabriel onto the stretcher so that they can bring him to the hospital that Chase manages to let go. He stays close, not wanting to let Gabriel out of his sight. Watch as the paramedics give Gabriel's body a quick scan, checking for any life threatening injuries before lifting him onto the stretcher and rolling him into the waiting ambulance.

Chase is quick to scramble into the back seat, not giving them any excuse to leave him behind. Taking Gabriel's hand in his, he watches as another paramedic places an oxygen mask over Gabriel's mouth and nose. Under the bright lights in the ambulance, Gabriel looks pale and sick, skin white against the red covering half his face. The siren echoes loudly in his ear as they start to move and for the whole ride to the hospital, his eyes never leave Gabriel's face, his hand a death grip onto Gabriel's own limp ones, afraid that if he doesn't hold tight enough, he might lose Gabriel forever.

[PREVIEW] April Fool illustration up!

This month's postcard! <3

[PREVIEW] MWR up!

And we're back to Punk x Nerd! You all must have missed them XD

[TIER 3] [TIER 15] April Fool's postcard!

This will be this month's postcard! A lil April Fool and a lil Easter mixed in XD Hehehe a personality swap XD Dayum, Nerd make a good Punk lol I think better than Punk XD

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 7 (part 2)

Warning for rape and violence. Please proceed with caution.

---

"Aww, shit. You made a fucking mess, kid!" John groans, looking down at his lap, bile and drool pooling around his groin. "Pass me that rag over there."

Coughing violently, Gabriel snatches up the cloth John pointed and starts cleaning the mess he had made. John had been rough, pushing his head down onto his cock forcefully until he choked, unable to stop the vomit from spilling out. With trembling hands, he wipes John clean, the pungent smell of vomit thick in the air. John rolls down the window, letting in some fresh air.

"Damn kid, and I thought you're a professional," John grumbles, disgusted. "If you think I'm paying for this crappy job, you got another thing coming. I didn't even come!"

"Sorry," he rasps out. His throat hurts and jaws aches, eyes watering. He cleans the mess up as best as he can, still shaking all over.

"Ah fuck... Here's a ten." John throws two five dollar bills at his face. "Now, get the hell out of my truck."

He doesn't need to be told twice. He grabs the money and lets himself out, legs wobbly as he hits the ground. The engine of the truck roars beside him and he stumbles out of the way. He watches as the truck thundered down the road, leaving him behind in a cloud of dust. Stuffing the dollar bills into his jeans pocket, he walks back to his previous spot.

The next hours passed in the same manner. He had given a total of five blowjobs after John. His knees are burning from the number of times he was shoved down roughly onto the hard pavement. Three of the johns had pushed him down where he stood and fucked his face, uncaring when one or more passersby had stopped to watch. The other two had taken him back to their truck and took their sweet time using his mouth. One took so long that by the time he came, his jaw was aching from having his mouth stretched open for so long.

He's lucky that he'd only been asked to give blowjobs. He isn't sure he'll be able to say no if they had wanted to fuck him. He knows it's stupid to since he's still sore. But the pain would have been a welcome relief. His stomach rumbles and he looks up at the sky. He doesn't have a watch, but he thinks it's about time he gets back. The sky's getting dark.

Passing by the deli, he makes a quick stop inside to grab a sandwich. His mouth tastes like strawberries from the flavored condom he'd used. He should probably wash out his mouth before eating.

The door to the deli jingles as he exits. He walks towards the restroom, pushing the door open and enters. Placing his sandwich beside the sink, he splashes water on his face and gurgles. He hears the door to the restroom open but doesn't pay it any mind. When he's done, he turns off the tap and stares at his reflection.

He startles at the sight of five burly looking men in the room with him. The way they're staring at him stir an uneasy feeling inside him. He averts eye contact and takes his sandwich. Feeling unnerved, his pulse quickening, he turns around intending to ignore the men and make his quiet exit. As he approaches the door though, two of them block his way. Unable to proceed further, he stops and takes a step back as he tries hard to stay calm.

"Can I help you?" he asks, glad to see that his voice remains steady despite the erratic heartbeats against his chest.

The two men smirk. Then, they step aside as another man, a black man around 6'1 with broad shoulders and a muscular body and a cropped haircut steps forward between them. "I'll say. Saw you on your knees with your mouth stuffed earlier. Been itching something bad ever since. Then, guess who I saw walking into the deli?" He spreads his arms wide. "I guess it's meant to be."

Gabriel doesn't answer, his heart pounding in his throat. For some reason, these men scare him. "I'm actually done for the day. I'm expected back. I'm sorry," he stutters out as he tries to bypass the man. He manages to brush past the man when he grabs hold of his arm and slams him hard onto the wall beside the door. The man leers down at him, dark brown almost black eyes staring down at his lips. He shoves a thumb into Gabriel's mouth, forcing them open.

"You're done when I say you're done." Then he backhanded him. Gabriel's cheek stings as his head snaps to the side. The man turns toward his friends who have all gathered around him to watch, eyes gleaming with excitement. "You two, stand guard outside." They both look like they're about to protest when he adds, "You'll get your turn. Don't worry." The panic that was slowly setting in erupts.

"Don't make me wait too long, Gordon." One of them grumbles.

They shove pass the others and disappear behind the door. Gabriel watches them go, panicking, his eyes darting around searching for a way to escape. He's still bracketed against the wall by Gordon's body. Something shiny catches his eyes. He freezes. Sticking out the side of Gordon's body, holstered in its place is a gun. His eyes fly to the others, unable to stop his fear from skyrocketing when he spotted more guns.

"Are you cops?" he murmurs, voice shaky.

"What did you say, baby?" Gordon turns around to face him, eyes unnaturally wide. He has this crazy look about him, twitchy and manic. His pupils are dilated and the redness of his eyes make him look rabid, strung out. Gabriel had seen this look before, on some of the prostitutes he worked with. The man is definitely high out of his mind. Gordon glances down at where Gabriel is staring at and grins. "I'm sorry to break it to you angel, but we're as far from cops as can be," he taunts in a singsong voice.

Gangbanger then. His knees start to feel weak. "Please don't hurt me. I'll do anything you want, just don't hurt me."

"Now why would we want that? We like it when the little bitch cries," he sneers. Without warning, Gordon punches him in the gut. Gabriel bends over clutching his stomach as he gasps for air. His legs buckle and he falls to his knees, pain tearing up his side.

When he feels someone yanks his hair, he chokes out, desperate. "Please, I'm one of Lucas." Gordon crouches down in front of him, hand still gripping tight in his hair, pulling at his scalp. It hurts and his eyes start to water from the pain.

"That's supposed to mean something to me, bitch?" he growls before spitting in his face and moves to stand back up, dragging Gabriel along with him.

Realizing he's fucked, Gabriel screams. "Help! Somebody, please! Help me!" The punch comes out of nowhere, and sends him sprawling onto the tiled floor, groaning in pain.

A set of boots appear in his field of vision. Fearing that he's going to get kicked in the face, he lifts his hands to shield himself. Then, he hears laughter. Before he knows it, he's forced onto his back and Gordon's climbing on top of him, straddling his thighs. He is rough and relentless. The strength with which he used to rip open his jeans causes his hips to lift with the force of it, the fabric cutting into his skin. The buttons pop and his tailbone hits the floor hard. His jeans are torn, exposing his boxers.

"Please..." he tries again before a slap rings across his face. Then, another backhand. His cheeks burn and he stares up at the giant of a man on top of him, tears threatening to fall.

"Did I say you could talk?" Gordon asks in a low, menacing voice, leaning low to breathe in his face. He shakes his head. "Good." Gordon then flips Gabriel onto his stomach and pulls down his jeans and boxers down in one go.

Terror rises in his throat. He's scared. He has never been in a situation like this before. Sure, he's had clients that liked to be rough, but that's all part of the play, the scene. He knew he was safe. And when he was working a corner, his clients mostly consisted of lonely men looking for a warm willing hole to fuck. Gabriel was never threatened physically before. Violence is something new to him. And it terrifies him. These men want to hurt him. They have guns.

His reflexes kick in. He starts to struggle, trying to crawl away from beneath Gordon, kicking blindly. His feet hit something solid and he hears an oof behind him. The weight holding him down disappears. Pushing himself to his arms and knees, he makes a run for it. But before he's anywhere close to the door, someone tackles him around the middle and they land in a heap on the floor. Gabriel falls on his stomach, struggling against the weight on top of him. The body lifts itself but before he's able to scramble up, someone stamps on his back and his chin hits the floor with a loud crack.

"Oh, you're going to regret doing that bitch!" Gordon growls. Somewhere behind him, someone is shoving his jeans down again. He lashes out. "Fucking hold him down!" Gordon barks. A weight settles on the top of his neck as someone places their knees on top of his arms, effectively cutting off his upper body movement. Someone moves to sit on his upper thighs as another rips his jeans and boxers off his feet roughly, causing him to lose a shoe in the process.

"You're a whore, bitch. Why the fuck are you even struggling?" Gordon spreads his asscheeks wide and laughs. "Take a look at this bitch's fuckhole. Fucking bitch must have been taking cocks up his ass the whole day. Angel," he coos, "You may look all innocent on the outside, but your hole definitely tells a different story. Damn, if that's isn't a whore's hole." Gordon kneads at his asscheeks, spitting at his hole. He squirms, unable to move, face planting on the cold tile floor. "How many ass pounding did you take today, kid?"

Gabriel doesn't answer. Instead, he goes limp. The others laugh as Gordon continues to humiliate him. Someone pokes at his sore side with their boots. He grits his teeth and closes his eyes. It'll be over soon. It's not like this is new. You can take this, he tells himself. When Gabriel hears the telltale clink of a belt buckle being undone, he snaps his head up.

"Wait! Please, not like this. We need lube! I have condoms in my pocket, just please. I'm not ready yet, please-" His words are cut off when he feels the blunt head of a cock at his entrance. Then, a scream forces its way out his throat as Gordon tears into him. His fingers curl into fists as inches by inches the cock sinks into him. His ass ached as tears streamed down his cheek, pooling on the tile floor.

When Gordon's fully seated in him, he begins to thrust. Every push and pull of Gordon's cock in and out of him sent jolts of pain up his spine. His channel is dry and raw and he can feel every drag of skin against skin. He wonders how this can be pleasurable for Gordon. It has to be painful for him as well. He doesn't have time to dwell on it though, because then Gordon's thrusts become smoother and slicker. He had torn something inside him.

It feels like hours but could be mere minutes before Gordon is grunting with his orgasm, pumping his seed deep inside him. The hot liquid sparks more pain within him. When Gordon pulls out, a trickle of blood and come leaks out of his wrecked hole, dripping between his asscheeks and down his balls. All Gabriel can do is lie on the floor, trembling and shaking in a state of shock. He jolts when he feels another cock breaches him and chokes back a cry.

When the man is done, the man who has been sitting on his neck replaces him. Not that it matters. His struggles had died down sometime around the second person. His body is taut with pain, muscles clenching as he tries to tune out the pain. Every one of them took their turn, even the two men outside. By then, he's just a limp heap sprawled on the floor. Throughout it all, they never stop berating him, humiliating him. Mocking him with their words until that's all he hears. A string of insults and abuses.

"How do you like my big fat cock stretching you wide, bitch?"

"Yeah fuck that hole man, look how it's gaping begging for more!"

"Slap that perky ass. Make it glow red!"

"Look how sloppy the little bitch is. We wrecked that hole!"

"Turn him around. I want to see the bitch face as I fuck into him."

The fifth man moans his release and then rough hands are manhandling him onto his back. Gabriel squints into the glare of the fluorescent lights from the ceiling. A man he recognizes as the one blocking his path earlier wraps his arms under his thighs and drags his ass onto his lap, shoving his cock inside him with one thrust. Without missing a beat, he starts up a brutal pace, hard fast strokes that jarred his body with each thrust. His head lolls, hair matted against his forehead. It's then that he realizes the men in the room all have their phones out, directed at him. Some are aimed at his face, some at where he is connected to the man grunting above him.

The flashes blind him. Disoriented, he closes his eyes and turns his head away. One of the men starts pinching his nipples. Holding the buds tight, he squeezes and twists them hard. Gasping in pain, Gabriel hunches in on himself, writhing and twisting as he tries to escape the torture. He gets punched in the face for his efforts, biting the inside of his cheek upon impact. Blood pools in his mouth.

With a soft grunt, the man inside him pulls out. He straightens on his knees, flicking his hair out of his eyes as he exhales audibly. Unable to move, Gabriel lies motionless on the floor, legs spread as blood and come steadily leaking out of him onto the tiled floor. Ugly looking bruises start to form on his face and body.

Just when he thinks it's over, Gordon pulls him up by his hair and slams him against the sink. His hipbones bang hard into the stretch of concrete there. Red hot pain shoots up from the point of contact, running up his spine and he gasps momentarily blinded by pain. Gordon yanks his head back and smashes his face onto the tap. His nose shatters on impact, blood splattering the area. All he sees is red as his vision slides in and out of focus. Blood pours out of his nose and down his nostrils, clogging his airways and he chokes as he struggles to breathe.

Gordon drags his head back up. Gabriel could see himself in the mirror above the sink and he almost flinched away by what he saw. It's hard to recognize the person staring back at him. One of his eyes is swollen shut, ugly bruises littering one side of his face as blood spurts from his nose and drips from his mouth. His chest is heaving as he gasps for air, coughing and spluttering as Gordon wraps one arm around his waist.

"This is a beautiful look on you, is it not, whore?" Gordon whispers into his ear. "I like it a lot." Gordon lets go of his grip on his hair and Gabriel sags forward. But before he could fall, Gordon slides his hand up his chest, supporting him. With his free hand, he grabs hold of his thigh and lifts it over the edge of the sink. Gabriel whimpers as the move pulls at his injured body. Without hesitation, Gordan shoves himself inside Gabriel once again, fucking slow and deliberate.

He kisses down Gabriel's neck, staring intently at his reflection. Bloodshot eyes stare back at him. "You hurt so pretty, angel. Cry for me," Gordon murmurs into his neck before biting down hard enough to break skin. Gabriel cries out, fresh tears stinging his eyes. "Oh yeah, like that. You're making me so hard, baby. Lucky you're so loose now huh, or I might actually tear you apart." Snickering, he adds, "Oops, I already did."

As Gordon continues to pound into him from behind, his vision starts to blur. He feels lightheaded. Gabriel blinks, trying to clear the fog. But he feels himself slipping away. He's losing too much blood. His body feels weak and he's so tired. He just wants to close his eyes. He thinks maybe he's dying. Weirdly enough, the prospect doesn't scare him. In fact, he welcomes it. So he lets go.

---

The front door opens, and Chase snaps his head towards it so fast, he thinks he might have whiplash. When he sees Lucas walking in, he pretends to be captivated by the Monopoly battle in front of him, just in case Gabriel is following behind. But when Lucas closes the door, and Gabriel is nowhere in sight, he frowns.

"Lucas," he calls before Lucas can stride down the hall to his office. The man pauses in his steps, giving Chase an impatient look. "Isn't Gabe with you? I can't seem to find him anywhere. Where is he?"

"He's working."

"Working? I thought he's only going to Chastity's tonight?" he exclaims, shocked.

"He requested it, so I said he could. Now please stop bothering me with your questions. I have work to do."

Angry and worried, he snaps. "Where?"

Lucas sighs, looking testy. "He's at the truck stop. He'll be home by seven. Now that I seem to have answered all your questions, can I go now?" he asks sarcastically. "Don't bother answering that. It's rhetorical." With that, Lucas exits the living room, leaving him to stew in his own thoughts.

What is Gabriel doing? What the hell is he thinking? What the actual fuck is running through that stupid brain of his? Goddammit. He knew it! He knew Gabriel would do something dumb like this. God, the guy can be so stupid sometimes, his self-esteem almost nonexistent. How could he think so little of himself? Making his mind up, he stands.

"Sammie, I'm going out for a while. If you need anything or if anything happens, find Anna. You'll be alright by yourself in the meantime?"

Sam looks up from where he's sitting on the floor and nods. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Gabe." He runs a hand through his hair. "I won't be long. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay?" He plants a kiss on Sam's forehead. "I'll be back soon, buddy. And you can tell me all about your defeat," he adds, giving Amelia a wink.

"Hey! I'm not losing!" Sam pouts. "Not yet anyway. Don't jinx it, Chase." He ruffles Sam's head, avoids his swat and rushes out the door, grabbing his jacket on the way.

Right. Now, to find Gabriel. And make him listen.

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 7 (part 1)

Gabriel closes his eyes and tries to breathe. He knows that if he tells Chase the truth, he'll end up losing him. Of course, he told him anyway. He can't not tell him. A friendship based on lies and deception is no friendship at all. And Chase deserves more than that. Unable to hold back the tears, he lets them fall, footsteps loud in the hallway.

He'd been foolish, thinking he's worthy of Chase's time and attention- had used his generosity and big heart for his own selfish reason. Chase is kind, loyal and brave. Hadn't thought twice before offering his friendship like it was nothing. He had made him smile and laughed, something Gabriel hadn't done in awhile. For a while there, he felt normal again. And he was so hungry for it, he had let himself brought into the lie. Just so he could bask in Chase's warmth and presence a little longer.

But of course, it wouldn't last. His bubble burst and in the worst way possible. As if the guilt he's carrying for accepting his generosity wasn't enough, his selfish action had almost cost Chase. He was shocked when Chase had offered to take his place and it was then that he knew he had to tell Chase the truth. He cannot be selfish any longer- will not use Chase's open-heartedness against him. Chase deserved more than that. He had offered Gabriel kindness when he deserved none. He owed Chase the truth.

The worst part about the whole thing was how he had held a tiny glimmer of hope that Chase might still want to befriend him. That Chase might not look at Gabriel any different after knowing the truth. That- maybe he could still have Chase as a friend. It was pitiful how hard he was holding on to that notion. How can he expect someone else not to be disgusted by him when he himself hated what he had become? Hated what he had let happen to him. Hated what the home had turned into because of him. He had done so much wrong. His life here is exactly what he deserves. It's time he faces reality and stops dreaming.

Wiping away his tears, he steels himself. He forces his feet to carry him to Lucas's office, his mind made up. He knocks and waits until he hears Lucas's assent through the heavy oak door before letting himself in.

The group home isn't fancy, but it's adequate to house seven people comfortably. The office is small with a robust looking work table and armchair. Lining the walls on both sides are filing cabinets and right behind Lucas is a large window overlooking the streets. The sun is shining into the room, casting the man in front of him in shadows. Lucas glances up and once he sees who's at the door, straightens up and leans back in the armchair.

Without wasting any time, he asks what he came here for. "I want to work a corner. Is there one you can send me to?" When Lucas doesn't respond, he hastily adds. "I will be back before it's time for me to go to Chastity's." Lucas continues to stare at him, quiet and unmoving. Feeling nervous, but also determined, he stands his ground, staring unblinkingly back at the man.

It's a long moment as Lucas considers him, blue eyes intent before he says anything. "Your usual corner won't be busy at this time of day. Take the truck stop, the one a few miles from here. Be back by seven. I don't want you to be late for Chastity. You know how she is when she's pissed."

"I won't be late. Thank you," he says and turns around. Just as he's about to close the door behind him, Lucas calls out. "Gabriel?" He pauses, waits. A moment of silence, then "Nothing."

Gabriel nods and closes the door. Walking back to his room, he changes into a tight fitting jeans that hang low on his hips and a pale blue T-shirt that brings out his eyes. Observing himself in the mirror hanging on his closet door, he takes in his appearance.

Though he isn't skinny nor small, he's the walking embodiment of jailbait. It's all in his eyes. His dark hair and pale olive skin bring out his electric blue eyes. They give him an air of innocence. Wide and naive. His high cheekbone, the sharpness of his nose and his defined jaw give him an almost angelic look. He wets his chapped pink lips and scrubs a hand over his light scruff, debating if he should shave.

Deciding against it, he grabs a string of condoms from his bedside drawer. Always use a condom when working the streets, that's Lucas's rule. The only time he doesn't is for Zael. And since last night, Ramsay and Alastair. He trusts Lucas's judgment. Maybe it's stupid but he believes Lucas looks out for him.

Unwilling to risk running into Chase in the house, he hurries towards the front door. Once outside, he slows down his pace, but not too much. There's an itch inside him that makes him restless. The sooner he gets to the truck stop the better. Then, he'll be able to let his thoughts go blissfully blank, instead of being plagued by persistent green eyes and warm smiles.

It's another thirty minutes before he reaches the medium-size building on the outskirts of town. He scans the parking lot, taking in the few trucks parked outside. The deli adjacent to the tank station seems to be bustling with activities so he figures that he might be able to get a client or two soon. He walks towards the back of the building where the restroom is located. It's easier to pick up potential clients in the relative quiet away from prying eyes.

There are advantages to having Lucas as their pimp. For one, no one messes with them. At first, there are still the occasional oblivious johns who thought it's okay to fuck and not pay. But they learned soon enough. Those johns were found beaten and incapacitated the next day, bodies thrown like trash in the garbage bin courtesy of Alastair and his cronies. Words spread fast and people got the memo. It's hard to say since he'd been on the streets now for only a few weeks. But during this time, he has yet to be assaulted.

Gabriel had also noticed that the local gangbangers acted wary and terrified when Lucas was present. Curious, he asked the others about it; the prostitutes working the corner with him. They had looked at him weird like he was stupid. Then, as if sharing a big secret, they leaned in close and whispered about how the leaders of the gangs who used to own them were found dead. The very next day, Lucas was there to take over the businesses. It wasn't difficult to connect the dots. The thought that Lucas would kill, or could kill sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn't asked anymore after that.

He looks up from where he'd been staring at his sneakers when he hears someone exits the restroom. A burly man in dirty jeans and plaid drenched in sweat ambles out, pulling up his zipper. When the man catches sight of him, he rakes his muddy brown eyes over his body, whistling appreciatively. Gabriel straightens at the attention.

"You selling?" the man asks, spitting on the ground.

"Depends on what you want," he answers, pitching his voice lower, more seductive as he peers up at the man through his lashes.

"Hot damn, kid. With a voice like that, you sound like you've already had a few dicks down your throat. How much for a blowjob? Let's see if we can make you sound even more fucked."

"That would be 50, ..." he trails off, unsure what to call the man.

"Call me John. Let's do it in my truck. More privacy that way." The man nods in the direction of the parking lot.

Right, John. Appropriate name for what they are about to do. He nods and follows John, who's quick to grab his ass and squeeze, before wrapping his arm around Gabriel's waist, fingers hooking onto his belt loop. As they walk towards his truck, John slips his other hand into the front of his pants, groping for his penis. He jerks when John finds it and tries to ignore his ministration.

When they finally get into the truck, John has already gotten himself all worked up and is quick to pull down his pants and underwear. He lets them hang around his knees, exposing himself lewdly. "Suck me, whore," he instructs.

Taking a deep breath, air stank with overdue sweat and body odor, he closes his eyes. This is what he wants. This is what he's here for. This is what he's good at. Most of all, this is what he deserves. Opening his eyes again, he wets his lips, slides onto his knees between John's leg and grabs the cherry flavored condom out of his back pocket.

---

The afternoon sun is shining down on him, tingling the back of his neck. Chase gives the backyard one last scan before closing the door. Gabriel is nowhere to be seen. He had searched the whole house, asked the others and still no sign of the teenager. Thinking he might have gone outside again, he went and checked but no. The house isn't that big, they're bound to cross paths somehow, especially since Chase's actively seeking him out. He hopes that Gabriel isn't avoiding him.

Stepping inside, he deliberates. He hadn't checked Lucas's office yet. He doubts that Gabriel's there, though. What is he going to do? Help Lucas plan more appointments and handle the bookings? Yeah, right. Given what Gabriel had told him earlier, he's more likely to offer himself. His heart stutters and he stops in his aimless wander. No way is he going to do that, is he? Gabriel's crazy talk about penance comes to mind and he marches right up to Lucas's office and knocks. He waits. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing. Gripping the doorknob, he turns it and peeks inside. It's empty.

Fuck. Maybe they went out together? Lucas did apologize and when Gabriel left, he was in a pretty vulnerable state. His mind races. Images of Lucas and Gabriel in various scenarios flash through his head. The two of them huddled together in a booth at the back of a coffee shop, sipping hot coffee. Or they could be strolling about in the park, hands in hands. Maybe he took Gabriel out for a proper lunch, not just a spontaneous lunch with sandwiches Gabriel made himself. His stomach churns at the thought. God, he sucks.

He shuts the door, feeling dejected. He wanders towards the living room, lost in thought. Why does he care? Gabriel is obviously in love with Lucas. It isn't unusual if they're out on a date or something. He did say that Lucas treated him well, before. Maybe with his guilt from this morning, he's being extra nice to Gabriel? His guts churn uncomfortably at the thought. He doesn't know why it bugs him so much. He hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep last night, remembering the three words Gabriel muttered in the silence of the van.

Love you, Lucas.

His heart aches. He doesn't know why it had hurt so much. It's just a crush! Crushes are not serious. He had enough of them in the past for him to get over this. Forget about Gabriel! But no matter how much he wants to, Chase can't. Something about Gabriel draws him in. Maybe it's the way he seems so sad all the time. So lost. Resigned. Like he had long given up hope of ever being happy. And Chase can't let that happen. Not when he'd seen Gabriel's secret smiles, seen the way his blue eyes twinkles when he's amused, watched his full-bodied laugh and the way his nose scrunched up when he does and realizes he'll never tire of seeing Gabriel happy.

He plops down onto the well-worn tan couch, the dip in the seat cushioning him. Staring in space, he wonders when did Gabriel become such a significant fixture in his life. When his happiness became so dependent on that of Gabriel's. He sighs and lets his eyes trail over to the giggling sounds emanating from the corner of the room. Sam is glowering as he places his token into jail while Amelia happily rolls the dice. He glances at the cloak hanging on the opposite wall and lets out another sigh. Settling in to watch the two kids battling it out on Monopoly, he hopes that Gabriel is okay, wherever he is with whatever he's doing.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Jungle Trekking

If you're jungle trekking with a path, you still have to beware of poisonous insects like centipedes and leeches. Snakes too. Sometimes, you hear something big moving in the bushes and you can't see it. It's pretty scary lol. And it's always loud in the forest, mostly from the insects.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Dual Meaning

'The bill' in English in Malay is spelled 'bil'. And it's the exactly spelling as butt in Dutch: bil. And for those who are interested, they call butts 'billen' cause you have to have two cheeks XD One bil is one cheek XD

ps: I really did give him a custom made keychain for baby daddy's bag back in the days XD It says 'I love bil' XD XD XD

[TIER 2] MWR: Moving In

And we move on to the next phase of all relationships <3 

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Skin Whitening

When I came back from Europe to Malaysia, everyone is expecting me to have fair skin lmao but I was tanner than when I was in Malaysia. They were so shocked lmao 

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Freezing

It's very jarring with this contrast especially in the car.. I can't get used to heatings in car lmao I've never gotten carsick until I'm in a car in Europe with the heater blasting owo I'm an airco person XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Partying

Seeing how university life is associate with partying with beers and red cups, that experience has not really been my norm. However, baby daddy, who started drinking at 13 or 15 I think (his first alcohol is baileys LMAO)

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Public Toilet

Are you a sitter or squater? XD Maybe the reason for the stable Asian squat is that we've been trained since young to squat lol

[PREVIEW] MWR backstory up!

Who's brave? XD

[TIER 5] MWR: To Be A Bad Person

I do believe that people are all born to be good or to want to do good. Of course, with the exception of life, circumstances and situation they see themselves in >.<

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Spicy Breakfast

When you're used to heavy breakfast like nasi lemak and roti canai and you see your partner eating bread or cereal.. =,=

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Cough Medicine

Who here has drink cough meds that just knock you the f*** out lmao? Try the Malaysian cough med, that is some strong drug XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Coming Out, Luuk

The other side of the spectrum. Instead of avoiding the problem, they hatch it out and talk about it. ENDLESS talk. If it can't be solve today, we continue talking about it again the next day lmao