sakurada yana

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 6

Chase walks back to his room with what he knows is his goofy smile on his face. The one he got when Sam did something particularly adorable. Like fart and be crazy embarrassed about it. Or when he had an apple pie and it felt like a mini orgasm in his mouth. Now though, it seems like just talking to Gabriel gets him all stupid and googly eyes.

God, he had it bad. But he couldn't bring himself to give a single fuck. Yes, he crushing hard on Gabriel and damn everything to hell, but he's going to enjoy every single flutter in his belly, every stutter of his heart and goddammit, he'll even enjoy the blood rushing to his face. Or better yet, down south. Heh...

"Chase, your face looks funny," Sam's childlike voice filters through his less than PG18 thoughts. Chase snaps out of his daydream, blinking when he realizes where he is. Sam is lying on his stomach on his bed, looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows. Then, as if reaching some sort of conclusion to a scientific experiment, he announces. "You look dumb."

"You shut your face," he retorts playfully as he jumps into bed. "Or I'll do it for you!" He grabs at Sam's face and starts squishing his little cheek together with his fingers and thumb. Sam cries out in protest and tries to bat his hands away. Laughing at his abysmal effort, he starts tickling Sam little body as he screams bloody murder, writhing around the bed struggling to get away.

When he finally stops, Sam's face has turned a deep shade of red from laughing so hard. "Serves you right smartass," he huffs, grinning from ear to ear as Sam tries to catch his breath. He's wearing a massive pout as he swats at Chase's hands still looming threateningly at his sides.

"You jerk!" Sam shrieks once he's got onto his hands and knees, glaring daggers at Chase. "That is so unfair!"

"That's what happens when you try to be a pain in the ass to someone who's 11 years older than you, Sammie. Lesson learnt." He chuckles as he flops back on the bed. Still breathless, Sam falls onto his ass, sitting cross-legged across from Chase.

"You just wait until I get older, Chase. Revenge is sweet." Sam puts on his most threatening face, all squinty eyes and pouty lips which would look impressive if it wasn't for the baby fat, rounding out his face. He cocks on eyebrows and raises a hand to ruffle Sam's hair, earning a swat and another bitch face in return.

Damn, he needs to give Sam a haircut one of these days. He's looking like one of those shaggy dogs with dark brown hair flopping over his eyes like that. Sam's going to put up one hell of a fight. He never did like getting his hair cut. Unlike Chase who loves to keep his dirty blonde hair short, just enough to cover his forehead if he weren't to style it up like he usually does.

Sam picks up his book from the floor and crawls up towards the headboard. He leans back against it and pulls his knees up, raising the book just enough to cover his face. Chase frowns. Thinking that Sam's mad, he tugs on the cuff of his jeans.

"Hey, you ok?"

Sam is silent behind his book. Concerned, he turns over to lie on his stomach and reaches up to pull the book down. Sam isn't looking at Chase but down at his book, biting his bottom lips and looking for all the world like he got caught with his hands in a cookie jar. Worried now, he sits up, shuffling a little so that he's facing Sam and places a finger under his chin. He tilts his little face up.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Sam shakes his head. "Okay. Then, is something bothering you?" Sam shakes his head again but after a while, he nods. Huffing at his nonresponse, he prods. "What is it? You can tell me anything. You know that right, Sammie?"

After a long moment, Sam raises his eyes to meet his, still worrying his bottom lip. "You weren't here last night."

His heart clenched at how small Sam sounds. "Sammie... Hey, you know if I could, I would rather be here with you. Tuck you nice and warm in bed. Read you one of your girly bedtime stories. But sometimes, I have to work and I need you to be a big boy when I'm gone, okay?"

Sam shakes his head. "No, I can be a big boy, I promise!" Chase smiles at that. But Sam still looks nervous, lips red from all the biting.

"Hey, cut that out," he says softly, tapping Sam's bottom lips until it springs free.

"Were you in the basement last night, Chase?" Sam asks, voice so soft that if he wasn't sitting as close to Sam as he is, he would have missed it. Unfortunately for him, he'd heard it, clear as day. Icy dread fills him as he gazes into Sam's hazel eyes. The basement.

Why is he asking about the basement? His heart hammers against his chest, thudding loudly in his ears. There's a haunted look in Sam's eyes that scares him. No, that can't be it. He can't have- he's not allowed down there. That's just not possible. Stop freaking out. Faking a calm he doesn't feel, he answers. "No, Sammie. I wasn't."

Sam nods, eyes flitting down.

"Why do you ask?" Chase tries to sound casual. Like he isn't on the brink of a nervous breakdown right now.

Without looking up, Sam mumbles down at his chest. "I saw you."

Chase's not sure if he's heard that correctly, but his heart stills nevertheless. Feeling cold all over, he asks, voice gruff. "What do you mean you saw me?"

"There's a place I like to read. Behind the heater in the basement. I know Lucas said not to go down there, but it was so cold that day! I swear, I didn't mean to fall asleep!" Feeling his heart lodged in his throat, Chase nods and waits for Sam to continue. But he begins to worry his bottom lip again, not looking at Chase.

"Sam?"

Sam doesn't look up, instead he starts plucking at the hem of his shirt, hiding his face. Fear unlike anything he felt before courses through him, chilling him to the bones. He forces himself to ask, "What did you see?"

"I saw you, Chase. You're not wearing any clothes and you're tied down to some kind of table or chair, I don't know, I can't really see. I wanted to come out, I swear! But then the men came down and I got scared so I hid again."

It's like being transported back in time. Chase's in the basement, strapped to the bench with Alastair breathing down his face. He can almost smell his putrid breath mixed in with the stale air of the basement. Sweat beads at his back and forehead. He was sweaty then too, the humidity clinging to his skin. Alastair's voice booms in his ears.

"I ask you one last time, will you or will you not call me Master?"

"Go to hell you sick bastard."

"Very well, you asked for this. I don't suppose you need me to explain what's going to happen here?"

Chase spits in his face and bites out, "Do your worst."

That man did. His world became a blur of fits and screams. He remembered screaming that he'll bite their cock off if they dared stuffed it in his mouth. Not like it mattered. Alastair gagged him with a rag as his men tore into his ass mercilessly until he's nothing but one big throb of pain. Bile rises in his throat as he pictures Sam hiding behind the heater, watching as the horror show continues.

He doesn't know what to say. What the hell can he even say to that? Please for the love of god forget what you saw down in the basement? Shit. He doesn't know what to do. There must be some adult way in dealing with this, but Chase has absolutely no fucking clue. He doesn't even know how much Sam had seen or understood. He's only six for Christ sake! He doesn't have to explain about the birds and bees until much later and this isn't even remotely close! Jesus.

This is the last thing Chase wants to do but dammit, he has got to know. "Sam, what did you think happened down in the basement?"

Sam looks up at Chase with wide scared eyes. "They were hurting you."

Chase nods, green eyes boring into Sam's hazel ones.

"There were so many men, Chase. And they're all surrounding you," Sam whispers. "You were screaming." Chase nods again, clenching his jaw. "I wanted to go to you, Chase I really did, but I was so scared. I ran. I'm sorry!" Sam bursts into tears, grabbing the front of his shirt by the collar and pulls it over his head, hiding his face in the material. Chase doesn't even realize that he'd been holding his breath until the moment it rushes out of his lungs. He is so relieved he can feel his whole body sagging with it. "I'm sorry I ran. I left you there, I'm sowwy!"

Chase takes a deep breath and lets it out slow and steady. He moves towards the boy, pulling the shirt down and wraps his arms around him, hugging him tight. Nuzzling his face in his hair, he murmurs. "Don't apologize, Sam. I'm glad you ran. There's nothing you can do. You did the right thing." When Sam continues to sob into his chest, he adds. "How did you run anyway? They're bound to see you." His heart rate spikes, wondering if Sam did manage to avoid detection. He pushes Sam back, leveling his eyes on him. "How did you escape?"

"In the corner near the heater, there's this staircase. I ran up and there's something that looks like a door but it opens upwards. I came out into the backyard." Chase frowns trying to remember. He recalls seeing a trapdoor at the back of the house, but he always thought it was locked. "I went to Anna and told her what happened. But all she did was take me to her room and hold me. I didn't know what to do, I was so scared."

Sam looks down, his lips starting to wobble as fresh tears pour down his face. "She said everything was going to be okay but she was lying! You were hurt bad. There's blood everywhere and you weren't responding. Lucas took you away and you didn't come back! No one will tell me anything! I thought I lost you, Chase. Like I did Mom!" Sam grabs him around the neck, face planting into his shoulder. "I'll never leave you again, Chase! I promise!"

Chase's sucked back into that night again. He was filthy and half out of his mind with pain and degradation. The last of the men were finishing, pulling up their pants as they left, leaving him alone with Alastair. The screech of the chair as he stood grates his ears. He will never forget the next words that came out of Alastair's mouth.

"I heard you have a little brother. What's his name? Sam? How would little Sammie like to call me Master, since his older brother is too stubborn to. He's upstairs now, isn't he?"

"You stay the fuck away from him," he spits. Exhaustion tears at the edge of his mind but the clarity of Alastair's words brought him back from the dull haze he fell into.

"Call me Master, Chase."

He felt like crying, the tears stinging his eyes. Tears of frustration and anger. Anger at himself and anger at the unfairness of it all. It had taken him everything to summon the indignity to spit the word out. It's not the word itself that's so hard to say, but what it signifies. If he does this, he'll be Alastair's bitch. For real. But this is Sam, his little brother whom he vowed to protect. So he broke.

Alastair smiled victoriously as he pulled out his belt. "Let's see how good you can be for your Master, Chase. You're going to take every blow and you're going to count with me."

The belt rained down on his back without mercy, stripping his back bloody and raw. He had screams himself hoarse, voice guttural as he yelled out the number with each strike. When the pain became too much and his back is just one burning throb, he passed out. He had woken up in Gadreel's house and had stayed there for four days, lying flat on his stomach, unable to move. He hadn't realizes that Sam saw him, bleeding and unconscious. That must have scared the hell out of him.

He hugs Sam even harder, pulling him close to his body. He had failed Sam. Again. Guilt spreads like fireflies throughout his body, swarming him with a familiar sense of disappointment. He can picture the look on his dad's face. How is he ever going to make this right? "I'm sorry, Sammie I didn't know. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. But do you know what the most important thing is?"

Sam shakes his head, sniffling as he pulls back, staring up at Chase with wide tearful eyes. He hates seeing Sam cries. Sam is only a kid, but he acts older than his 6 years of age, forced to grow up too fast by circumstances. They both were. He rarely cries. And when he does, it's because he's sad dad is leaving again. But he always sucks his bottom lips in and tries to be brave for Chase. As a child, he never whined or complained. Instead, he does all he can to make Chase's job easier. Guilty tears prick at his eyes as he swipes his thumb over the tear tracks on Sam's chubby face.

"The most important thing to know is that I came out of it okay. I'm still here. Nothing is going to take me away from you, Sammie. I swear as long as I live, I will never abandon you. You're not getting rid of me that easily." He gives Sam a small smile and ruffles his hair. He knows they both have a bad case of abandonment issues, Sam more so than Chase. He never got the chance to know what home life feels like. Had been on the road from the beginning. Really, he only had Chase.

Sam sniffs, not even bothering to pull his head away. Then, in a soft voice, he asks. "You promise?" He nods, echoing Sam's words. "I promise." Sam gives him a wide watery smile. "I promise I will never leave you too. I'm going to be brave. I want to protect you, like how you protected me," Sam says, determined. Chase wraps his arms around Sam's body, holding him close.

"You do, buddy. You do," he whispers into his hair. The funny thing is, Chase relies on Sam as much as Sam relies on him. Without Sam, he doesn't know if he's able to deal with what has happened. He still has nightmares of that night, and he's sure plenty more where that comes from. The only thing holding him together is the fact that Sam needs him and he can't afford to fall apart. So he pieces himself together and pushes down the hurt and pain until they become a numb spot at the back of his mind. He tries not to think about it. He needs to stay strong. If not for himself, for Sam. "It's you and me against the world right?"

At that, Sam pulls back and nods furiously. "Yeah, Chase. You and me against the world! We're going to beat the bad guys!"

Chase laughs. "You bet!"

Smiling, Sam lands a wet kiss on his cheek. He pretends to be disgusted by it, wiping it away with a scowl on his face. He tries to ruffle Sam's hair again but is denied this time, a full on bitch face directed at him. Sam plops onto his stomach and reaches for his book. As Chase watches him flips through the pages, he can't help the soft sigh that escapes him. He lies down on his back, hands behind his head and stares up at the ceiling. Sam had been holding all that in for almost a week and he hadn't noticed a fucking thing. Granted, he'd only been back a couple of days, but still. He closes his eyes, thanking whatever God up there that might be listening for small mercies. Grateful that Sam hadn't witnessed anything too damaging.

"Chase?"

"Hmm?"

"Is my boy part going to be as big as those men when I grow up?"

Sam's question hits him like a slap to the face. He bolts upright so fast he feels his head spins. "What?" he splutters.

With these huge round innocent eyes, Sam expresses, "They are so big..." His eyes widen as he emphasizes on the 'big' as through trying to convey the hugeness of the penises by how wide his eyes can grow.

He stares at Sam blankly, pretty sure with his mouth agape. Say something, idiot! Do something! Blink! He blinks, once. Then rapidly like an incapacitated person trying to converse in Morse code. "Wha-?" He chokes out in a high-pitched voice he will forever deny ever having come out of his throat. He coughs then tries again, voice still a decibel higher "Who cares?!"

Frowning in contemplation, Sam concludes. "They look uncomfortable." Then, he eyes his crotch as if to gauge how Chase manages to stuff his 'big' penis in his jeans and still be comfortable. He blushes all the way up to his ears, grabs at the nearest pillow and covers his groin.

"Hey! Eyes off the family jewel!"

Sam shrugs. "I'm just curious. Why would penises grow so big anyway? It just looks dumb." And with that, Sam goes back to his book, leaving Chase to stew in his own mortification. Oh god, what did he do to deserve this? He falls back onto the bed, bringing the pillow up to cover his face as he lets out a Why me? groan when there's a knock at the door. Springing up, glad for the distraction, he bounces off the bed. When he sees who's at the door, his face breaks into a wide smile.

"Heyya, Gabe."

"Hello, Chase. I made some peanut butter sandwiches. Would you like to eat them outside? The weather seems nice." Gabriel gestures to the plates he has balanced precariously in his hands. "I've made some for Sam too."

"You heard that? Gabe made us sandwiches. Isn't he great?" He turns around and waggles his eyebrows at Sam. Ignoring him in favor of smiling at Gabriel, Sam enthuses. "Thank you, Gabe. Peanut butter sandwiches are my favorite!"

Gabriel smiles, eyes twinkling. "You're very welcome. Do you want to come outside to eat with us?"

Sam scrunches up his nose, deliberating before nodding. "Sure! Can I bring my book along, Chase?" Sam asked, sitting up with his book hugged to his chest.

"Of course, buddy. Here, let me grab your sandwich before Gabe here drops it." He winks at Gabriel, grabbing two plates from him. "Let's go!" Gabriel just smiles at him, shaking his head. Probably thinking he's a dork. Not that he minds. As long as he gets Gabriel to keep smiling like that, he can be the dorkiest person alive.

As they step out into the sunlight, Sam runs ahead, heading for the patch of grass by a large oak tree. The early afternoon air is crisp but the glow of the sun keeps them warm. He lifts his head up towards the sun, closing his eyes and just enjoying the moment. When he turns to his side, he notices Gabriel doing the same, his profile sharp against the sun, exposing his long neck.

Chase stares and knows that he's staring but he couldn't help it. Gabriel looks gorgeous like this. His mop of dark hair is thick and messy on his head, still damp from his shower earlier. He has his eyes closed, dark eyelashes fluttering against his high cheekbone. His soft pink lips curl at the corner, a phantom of a smile on his face. There's a light scruff shadowing those defined jawlines. Gabriel is breathtaking. Chase gulps. He is so screwed.

Gabriel lets out a soft sigh and opens his eyes, turning to look at Chase. They lock eyes for a while before Gabriel smiles and ducks his head. "Is there something on my face?"

"Huh? What! No!" he blurts, feeling his face heating up.

"You were staring."

"Oh. Umm... You just-" Look so beautiful I want to wrap you up in my arms and kiss you silly. God, even his inner monologues are shot to hell. "You just look peaceful. It's a good look on you," he ends up saying, smiling as he realizes that it's true.

Gabriel blushes a light pink shade, eyes widening slightly. "Thank you."

Chase shrugs. "You're welcome I guess? I'm just telling it how I see it."

Smiling softly, Gabriel looks up at the sky again, his blue eyes squinting in the sunlight. "I love nature. It is one of those things that are beautiful just by existing. I love how the sunlight feels on my skin, the smell of fresh air in my lungs, the way the grass tickles when I lay down on it. I love the sea too, especially the rough ones. The deafening roar of the waves; you can almost taste the salt in the air."

"My personal favorite? The rain. I used to watch it from my window. Watched as the world blurred. And when it's over, it leaves everything feeling clean, the grounds, the leaves a darker color. When it storms and you hear the clap of thunder and see the flash of lightning, it makes me realize how small and insignificant I am. Not that it's a bad thing. It gives me a different perspective. It makes me feel humbled. like whatever's been bugging me seems trivial."

Pausing, Gabriel turns away from the sun back at him. "I'm not a fan of the cold though, but I do appreciate the winter and what it brings. Hot chocolates, warms meals, fluffy blankets, family festivities..." Gabriel lets his sentences hang, eyes glazed over as if seeing something only he could see. A memory.

Chase stares for a moment before letting out a small huff. "You're such an old man, Gabe." He says, shaking his head. Gabriel shrugs.

"You said you wanted to know me. This is me."

He smirks. "I like the old man version of you. Sounds cozy. Next time it rains, we're gonna make ourselves a makeshift blanket fort and watch the sky weep. That's a date," he promises, winking as he turns around and joins Sam on the grass under the sun. His heart beats a little faster when Gabriel follows close behind.

Joints still tired and stiff from last night, he eases himself down. Lucky for them, the grass is thick and cushiony but Gabriel winces all the same as he settles, cross legged in front of him. He tactfully avoided asking about it because yeah, what is he supposed to say? Are you okay? Of course he's not okay.

Last night was brutal for Gabriel, not to mention the fiasco this morning. He doesn't want to ruin the relaxed mood they have settled into. Taking a huge bite of his peanut butter sandwich, he lets out a pornstar worthy moan. He hadn't realized he was that hungry. This is the best damn sandwich he has ever eaten!

"God, Gabe..." he moans. "How do you do it? How do you make a peanut butter jelly sandwich taste this good?" He gushes with his mouth full.

"You'll have to excuse my caveman of a brother, Gabe. Chase, shut your mouth when you're chewing." Sam sighs as if the weight of the world is on his shoulder. For a six year old, Sam can sure sass. He's going to be one sarcastic motherfucker when he grows older. Being the mature person that he is, Chase chews some more before opening his mouth wide and sticks his tongue out.

"Ewww, Chase! Gross!" Sam flinches from the sight, nose scrunching up in disgust.

Hah! Serves the little monster right. He grins, mouth wide when he catches Gabriel's face. Blood zings to his face and he almost bites his tongue off in his rush to close his mouth. Gabriel is staring at him with an expression that is half horrified, half scandalized and maybe a little amusement thrown into the mix. Then, he bursts into laughter. Genuine unadulterated laughter, the kind that gets Gabriel's shoulders shaking and his hands coming up to wipe at his eyes.

The low baritone of his laughs stirs something low in Chase's gut but he ignores them to stare unabashedly at Gabriel's face, full with mirth and joy. Gabriel should laugh more. That's definitely a good look on him, his favorite by far. Of course, his brain chooses that moment to supply a full HD play by play video of Gabriel's 'O' face from last night. He tells his brain to shut up.

"Chase..." Gabriel gasps, wiping tears from his eyes "I have pegged you for many things, but childish is certainly not one of them." His laughs have dwindled down to a chuckle. "Though I must say, a half-eaten peanut butter jelly sandwich is not a good look on you," he grins, eyes fond.

"Thank you," Sam pipes up.

"Shut up. Everything looks good on me," he pouts, biting a little harder than necessary into his sandwich.

"Is that so?" Gabriel cocks one eyebrow up, challenging and something like fuck-

Chase almost chokes on his sandwich. Only managing to swallow it down the right channel at the last minute. Is that heat he sees in Gabriel's eyes? A sparkle of mischief hiding underneath the blue surface? Oh Jesus on a tricycle, is Gabriel flirting with him? He's not reading this wrong, is he? The thought that Gabriel may be interested in him that way makes the butterflies in his stomach go frenzy.

He tries to come up with a witty reply but is distracted by a pair of jeans clad legs stepping into his peripheral vision. Before he could say anything else, Lucas plops down to sit cross legged between them, forming a small circle. He blinks, before his expression hardens, spiteful words at the tip of his tongue.

"Cool your jets, Chase. I'm here to apologize." With that, Lucas turns his attention to Gabriel, who is now looking at him with too blue, too trusting eyes.

"Damn right you do," he bites out. Don't get him wrong, he's glad that Lucas is at least going to apologize but the memory of Gabriel writhing in pain is still too fresh and he has half a mind to ask Lucas to take his apology and shove it up his ass. Whatever. He can be mature about this. Gabriel deserves to hear the apology even if it doesn't mean shit. This has nothing to do with the sudden stab he feels at the way Gabriel is looking at Lucas. Nope. Not at all.

"Gabriel, I want to apologize for my behavior this morning. I know I've hurt you and for that, I'm truly sorry."

Good god, 'behavior'? He fucking raped him! How is it possible for Lucas to make an apology sound so impassive? It's safe to say Chase's not a big fan of these kinds of talks, avoid them like the plague mostly. The thought of baring himself at the mercy of someone else, being made vulnerable makes him squirm. But looking at Lucas, he may as well be talking about the weather. He seethes to himself, hoping that Gabriel would make Lucas grovels for a little while before even considering to forgive him. At the very least.

But then Gabriel smiles, a small smile but genuine nonetheless and nods. The bottom of his stomach falls as Lucas lays his hand on top of Gabriel's and squeezes. His stomach churns something ugly as he watches the two of them having eyesex while he sits there, third wheeling.

"You're so good for me, Gabriel."

Gabriel ducks his head, eyes flickering down as if embarrassed. Then, he surreptitiously sneaks a peek up at him from under his mop of hair. When their eyes meet, Gabriel's quick to divert his eyes down again, face pink.

"Before I go, Chase-" Lucas addresses him. "You'll have company tonight. Eight sharp. Be prepared." Flicking a look towards Sam, who is trying hard to pretend that he is reading but is quite obviously not, Lucas continues. "You can use Gabriel's room. He won't be back until ten."

At this Gabriel snaps his head up. Before he has the opportunity to open his mouth, Chase snaps, "C'mon man, give Gabe a break. I don't think he's fit for anything else tonight." Knowing it's futile to try and negotiate with Lucas, he adds, "I'll take his load."

Gabriel turns wide shocked eyes at him. He avoids looking at Gabriel, opting instead to face down Lucas who is looking at him in a calculating manner, tapping his pointer finger against his bottom lip. Lucas doesn't say anything and the longer he stays silent, the more uncomfortable he feels. His hands itch to move, to do something.

"I must say I'm surprised, Chase. Never thought I would see the day when you'd volunteer willingly. Whatever Alastair did, it must be working." At the mention of Alastair's name, Gabriel flinches. Oblivious, Lucas continues. "Although I appreciate your concern for Gabriel's well being, unfortunately it's a specific request only he'll be able to fulfill." That means whoever the client was, they had requested Gabriel specifically. "But even I am not that cruel." Lucas turns to look at Gabriel, adding, "You'll be seeing Chastity."

It doesn't seem like this Chastity is a somehow better alternative because Gabriel's eyes dimmed. It is subtle, but he noticed. Without another word, Lucas stands up. He pats the back of his jeans before throwing an "Enjoy your lunch," over his shoulder and walks back inside. That leaves the three of them alone in an awkward silence which is made even more awkward by Gabriel, who is staring intently at him, eyes unblinking. Planning on ignoring him, he grabs his sandwich and resumes eating. But it looks like Gabriel can be pretty stubborn when he wants to.

"What?" he snaps, unable to ignore the burning heat of Gabriel's gaze anymore.

"Chase, why-"

"Gabe, you're hurt okay?" he argues. "Don't bother denying it." He holds a hand up to curb any of Gabriel's protests.

"But that doesn't mean that you should offer yourself up! That is stupid and reckless and you know it. You don't even know who you're offering yourself up to! What if-"

"It doesn't matter," he says, looking away. It hurts. He doesn't know why it hurts, but it does. It hurts that Gabriel keeps rejecting him. Tears start to prick at his eyes and he swallows to stop them from overflowing.

"Chase..." Suddenly Gabriel is right in front of him, blue eyes pleading. "Why don't you get that I don't want to see you get hurt too?" he says, softly. Gabriel is close. Too close. So close that they're sharing breaths. He could feel the warm puff of Gabriel's exhales on his skin. They stare at each other, gaze intense with too many feelings when a lawnmower roars in the distance, jolting them both. Gabriel blinks, pulling back. "I appreciate your concern, Chase but please... don't put yourself at risk for my sake. I don't deserve that."

Now, that just pissed him off. "Then what the hell do you deserve, Gabe? Some asshole who treats you like crap? Tell me. Explain it to me. Because hell if I understand. Nobody deserves this." Gabriel sighs. His eyes flick over to Sam who is watching the both of them, eyes wide with worry. "Ah, crap." Chase rubs a hand over his face.

"Chase, are you in trouble?" Sam asks in a small voice.

"No, buddy. I just have to work tonight. So does Gabe. We're just arguing about our workload. Don't worry, Sammie."

Sam regards Chase for a moment, eyes searching his face before he nods. "Please don't fight. I don't like it when you get upset, Chase." Sam hugs his book to his chest, looking small. He feels like a total asshole for putting that look on Sam's face. Heart sinking at the weight of his insensitivity, he reaches over and pulls Sam into his arms, hugging him tight.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to get upset," he apologizes.

Sam hugs him back, wrapping his tiny arms around him. "It's okay, Chase. I forgive you." They stay like that for a while, drawing comfort from each other. Then Sam pulls back and asks, "Can I go see if Amelia wants to play?"

He huffs out a laugh. Trust Sam to just move on like nothing happened. Like he wasn't upset just minutes ago. "Of course, buddy. But don't go harassing her if she doesn't want to play with your nerdy ass, okay?" he says, ruffling his hands in Sam's hair again.

Sam pulls back, pouting. "You're a jerk. But I still love you." Sam swoops in to plant a wet kiss on his cheek before turning tails and running back towards the house. He watches as Sam disappears into the house, a goofy smile on his face as he rubs at the wet spot on his cheek.

"You two are close."

He turns his attention back to Gabriel, shrugging. "Yeah, I guess we are. He's my brother."

Gabriel nods, looking down. "Not all brothers are like you." It sounds like a confession and Chase would like to prod further but then Gabriel lifts his head. He has a sad and somber expression on his face. The light blue sky reflects in his eyes, making them appear more blue than ever. They look pained and heavy, weighed down by some unseen emotion. A pink tongue peeks out, wetting his slightly chapped lips before he takes a deep breath as if settling his nerves.

"You know, this place doesn't always used to be a whorehouse. When I first arrived here, it's just a regular group home. The first person I met was Lucas. I remembered feeling scared. Lost. In a blink of an eye, I lost both my father and my older brother. I've never felt more alone. Despite what you may think, Lucas was kind. He took me under his wings. He was caring, attentive and he made me feel safe. Like everything is going to be okay. That he will take care of me. That he will always be there. His presence comforts me." Gabriel turns his gaze down at his hands in his lap. "Maybe I was naive or gullible but Lucas can be really charming when he wants to. It didn't take long for us to end up in bed together. It was like how I always dreamt my first time to be. He was a generous partner. He took the time to prepare me, pleasure me, making sure I enjoyed every moment. He was so sweet, so tender. And for the first time, I felt loved." Gabriel swallows.

"My father was a businessman. He traveled a lot. All his time and energy, he poured into work. Work was his life. He was by no means a bad father, he cared for me but- he didn't believe in affection. As for my older brother, he was the same. Raphael believed in structure and rules and behaved accordingly. He studied hard, got good grades and was involved with so many extra curricular activities that I hardly got to see him at all. I'm alone at home most of the time. My social skills are "rusty". I don't have friends. I'm the school's punching bag. I never felt like I belonged. You don't know what that feels like. The loneliness could eat you alive. Lucas made me feel like I mattered. Special. And I didn't want the feeling to end..." Gabriel's voice cracks, "So when he asked if I'm open for a threesome, I didn't even hesitate. He brought Azazel the next day. Lucas participated the first time but then he started to remove himself. A week later, he wasn't even in the room anymore."

Gabriel turns tear-filled eyes on Chase, "Don't you see? I started this. I'm Lucas's first. For the first two months, I was Azazel's whore. A chip Lucas used to grease the wheels. Azazel doesn't just like to fuck me, Chase. He likes to watch too. And I went along with it because that's what Lucas wanted. I didn't stop to think what that would mean and then Crowley and Alastair came into the picture and by that time, it was too late. I can't stop it. Because of me, you're all forced into the lifestyle. What happened to Anna, Tessa, and you, it's horrible and it's all my fault. So yes, I deserved this. And I will take every blow, every fuck if it means I could spare everyone else from more suffering. You don't deserve this. I do." Gabriel stares at him, blue eyes wide and earnest. "This is my penance."

Stunned, absorbing what Gabriel had said, he tries to come up with a response. He opens and closes his mouth, but nothing comes out. He stares at the person in front of him, takes in the pain in his eyes, the slump in the shoulders. They all point to someone with a low self esteem. Gabriel truly believed what he's saying to be the truth. And that's what hurt the most. Chase wants to say something. Anything to take away the hurt radiating out from Gabriel in waves. But he doesn't know what to say. He sucks at this. He's not good at the whole hurt and comfort thing. Whatever his face is conveying, it must not have been good because then Gabriel is hanging his head. A tear rolls off his cheek, catching the sunlight as it falls onto his jeans.

"And now you don't want to be my friend anymore. It's okay, Chase. I wouldn't blame you. I understand. If it makes a difference at all, I'm really sorry." And with that, Gabriel stands and moves to walk away. Shocked, Chase reaches out and grabs Gabriel by his wrist. Gabriel doesn't look back, instead he tugs at his grip. "Chase, please. I can't," Gabriel says, his voice breaking. Pulling out of Chase's grasp, he half-walks half-runs back into the house.

He stares at Gabriel's retreating back, chest hollow and head spinning. How did the day end like this? Not just a while ago, they were enjoying their lunch together, laughing and smiling. Then, it had all gone to shit. Feeling like Gabriel had taken a piece of him with him, Chase aches. Why does Gabriel think that this is his fault? It is obvious to him that Gabriel had been manipulated and used by Lucas. Gabriel is the victim here. How does he not see that? And why the hell didn't he say something? Gabriel had accused him of not wanting to be his friend anymore. Where the hell did that come from? Why for fuck sake did Chase let him leave believing that? And all those crap about this being his penance, fuck no!

There are too many thoughts running through his mind right now. It's a jungle of emotion in there. Crisscrossing one another, confusing and muddled. But there's one thing he's sure of. Gabriel is wrong.

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 5

Lucas splashes cold water on his face, eyes closed as he scrubs his hands over the rough scruff lining his jaw. He opens his eyes and rests his palms on the sink, looking up into the cracked glass above it. Cold blue eyes stare back at him. Droplet of water rolled off his eyelashes. A steady drip echoes in the bathroom. His reflection is calm and quiet, staring back at him like he's an interesting specimen. A polite, professional curiosity.

How could he look so calm when inside he is a whirlpool of emotions? Anger. Fiery red lashes at his insides, burning him up with rage. He wants to rip, tear and slash everything apart. But there's also pain. Overwhelming hurt and despair. It feels like his heart caved in on itself, leaving a black hole in its place. He watches his reflection as he brings a hand up to the tattoo on his chest. He brushes his pointer finger down the flaming blade, stopping at the hilt, pressing at the hidden wound there.

He had lost it, he knows. Waking up with that recurring nightmare has left him needing. He needed to inflict the pain he felt. All that anguish pointing inwards will drive him insane. He needed to lash out. Preferably at the person who had caused it. Steel blue eyes. Charcoal black hair. He sighs, hand dropping back onto the sink as he lets his head drop. He had hurt Gabriel this morning. The person who least deserve it.

Gabriel who has been nothing but good to him. He had exceeded all expectations. Had followed every one of his requests with wide sad eyes. He isn't blind. He knows how Gabriel feels for him. In fact, he might have encouraged it in the beginning. Helped mold him into who and what he is today. A submissive. He doesn't know why he's being exceptionally cruel to Gabriel. Why he toyed with his feelings or played with his emotions. And why he's felt inexplicably drawn to him when he felt the need to hurt.

He knows it's wrong to take Gabriel as a surrogate for his rage and pain. It had occurred to him that he might be hurting Gabriel with his careless words and behavior. His hot and cold treatment. But what happened this morning is ten times worse. He had deliberately gone to Gabriel to hurt him, to see the pain in his eyes. His cries and pleads to stop just served to fuel the fire inside him.

He had pinned him down hard enough to bruise and pushed his cock into his unprepared hole with the sole intention to cause as much pain as possible. He had enjoyed every groan of pain he'd wrenched from Gabriel, watched mesmerized as he slammed his cock into him again and again knowing that each penetration hurts as much as the last one. He had come knowing that Gabriel's body was shutting down from the pain.

He scrubs a hand over his face. He feels tired but when he looks back at his reflection in the mirror, all he sees is his impeccable, perfect self. He should start a career in poker, he thinks. He would succeed. Cocking his head at himself, he decides that he is going to apologize.

---

Gabriel pulls on a pair of light blue jeans and a simple gray t-shirt before he pads out barefooted to the homes' shared kitchen slash dining room. He had decided to make peanut butter and jam sandwiches for Chase and on second thought, Sam as well so that they could eat outside. Spring had just started. The sun is shining, and the air is fresh. He wants to make use of the day before he's needed back inside. Since it's a Sunday, the slowest day of the week, he hopes will get away with just one or two fucks.

Knowing the school week's ahead is enough to brighten him up. He likes school. Being able to focus on something other than his current situation is a relief. School nights also means that he has to walk the streets with the others; the working prostitutes. He does that every Monday to Wednesday. On Thursday and Friday, he'll be placed in a motel room for bookings that had been made during the week while Saturday is reserved for Lucas's 'friends'. Of course, there had been that one Friday where he was sent to the bench.

The 'bench' is a method thought by Alastair to 'help' keep them in line. It functions as a punishment technique. For clients who aren't able to afford the rate of a session, they get offered the bench. It's held every Friday night and with $15, each client has 10-15 minutes with whoever it was strapped to the bench. It's an effective way to break a person's psyche. It's extremely dehumanizing and the number of clients a night can mount up to the low forties. It is a win-win according to Alastair. They get to earn some money while having people to fuck them into submission.

He was never called for bench duty. But he guessed there's a first time for everything. Lucas had already rounded up about thirty confirmed clients. Most of them were construction workers working on the building a few blocks down. Unfortunately for him, Anna and Tessa had been behaving that week and strapping them to the bench would be counterproductive to the reward and punishment system they had going on. The only choice left was him.

His heart sank when Lucas brought him down to the basement Friday night. He had kept quiet while Lucas stripped him down and positioned him on the bench, stomach flat against the padded seat on his hands and knees as he secured the straps around his wrists and ankles. Then, Lucas knelt in front of him and stroked his cheek, before leaning in and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. When he pulled away, he whispered, "Just say the word and I'll release you."

There was a long pause but then Gabriel had shaken his head. If it's not him, it would be someone else. Better him than someone else. With that, Lucas stood and walked up the stairs, leaving him alone, heart thudding as he waited. After that, he was just an object to be used. The night dragged on in a haze of pain and humiliation and after the fifth person to use him, Gabriel let himself drift off. The only thing keeping him together was the mantra he kept repeating in his mind. Better him than someone else.

He didn't know how long it was before he felt someone unstrapped him. Lucas's face swam into view. His expression is unreadable, and moments later, he'd passed out in his arms. The days after that Lucas had been caring and attentive. He drove him to and from school, made him lunch and peppered him with affection. They even shared a bed a few nights in a row. He had been happy to get whatever Lucas's willing to offer and that few days were one of the best.

He's not delusional. He knows that what they have is not what people would call a 'healthy' relationship. For one, you don't trade your boyfriend for favors nor do you pimp him out for money. If he's going to be brutally honest with himself, he would say that what they have is a business relationship. A pimp and his whore. But there are times when Lucas would act a certain way, do a certain thing that makes him doubt, makes him feel. It's no secret that Lucas treats Gabriel differently from the others. That must mean something. Sometimes, just knowing that is enough.

He stops short when he walks into the kitchen. Anna is making sandwiches at the kitchen counter, slender fingers firm around the butter knife. She looks demure with her fiery red curls cascading down her shoulder over her lacy white blouse. She is pale but not the kind that alludes to sickness or from being inside too much but the kind that glows with a sort of radiance. Angelic and pure.

Somehow, the sight made him feel sadder, knowing what he knows. They're all far from innocent, Gabriel more so than the others but it had been a month now since the rest were forced into the scene. Anna looks up, sensing someone else in the room with her. Her large almond-shaped eyes fall on him. It's the first time he's seen her in weeks. He had been painstakingly avoiding the others and vice versa, unable to face any of them after what happened.

"Gabriel," she greets, nodding in acknowledgment.

"Anna," he returns. He debates turning around and coming back later but that would be weird. So he steels himself and rounds the kitchen counter, brushing past Anna as he reaches for the top cupboard to pull out three plates and a bread knife. He places them on the counter and asks, "Do you mind?" He gestures at the opened loaf of bread and the various spreads littering the table.

"No, go ahead."

He nods and starts preparing the sandwiches. The atmosphere in the kitchen is tense with unsaid words, the silence almost overbearing. In a normal social setting, Gabriel already found himself sufficiently lacking. He's awkward and out of tune, more often than not missing out on visual and verbal social cues. It's safe to say that he has no idea what to do in a situation like this. He is about to blurt out something, anything to get rid of the uncomfortable silence when Anna speaks.

"Why do you have three plates?"

"Oh. I'm eating lunch with Sam and Chase."

"Oh."

He nods again as he busies himself with the sandwiches. Anna puts the knife down, and he hopes she'll leave so that he can breathe properly again, but she doesn't move. Instead, she fusses around her sandwiches, brushing invisible crumbs off her plate. When he's done and is about to store the bread and spreads, Anna blurts. "Thank you."

He stills, stunned by the sudden declaration, peanut butter jar in one hand and jelly in the other. "What for?" he asks, surprised.

"You took the bench," she says, not in the form of a question, more like a statement. She's staring at him, eyes wide and wondering. "Why?"

Feeling like a deer caught in headlights, he shrugs. A lump has formed itself in his throat. He doesn't trust himself to speak. Anna continues to stare at him, as if trying to read him, expression curious. Then, as if a mask has been removed, her impassive demeanor shatters and in its place is pure raw vulnerability.

"If you hadn't, it would have been me." Her voice is wobbly as if she's about to cry. "They did it to me once and I-" She starts to tremble, hands coming up to hug herself tight.

"Anna..." he says completely at a loss. He doesn't know what to do or say to that. He feels like he should comfort her but he doesn't know how. Maybe a hug? But then he's afraid his touch would be unwelcomed.

"You could have said no. You didn't."

He quiets at that. Anna steps closer and takes the peanut butter out of his hand, placing it on the table. Then, taking his hand in hers, she gives it a squeeze. "Thank you," she murmurs as she fixes him with wide sincere eyes. His eyes burn as he stares down at their hands, the two words ringing in his ears. He had always bent over backward for others, but never has he had anyone acknowledging his efforts before, let alone thanking him for it.

It's overwhelming to hear those words from someone he thought hated him. There's genuine gratitude behind her shaky admission. Feeling his emotions running amok, he nods once before rushing to store the spreads, not looking at Anna as he did so. Then he grabs the three plates, balancing them carefully on his hands and flees the kitchen.

Before he exits, though he stops. With his back to Anna, he says in a soft but raw voice, "Thank you, Anna."

"What for?"

He turns around then, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "No one has ever thanked me before. Thank you for telling me."

Anna looks surprised but then her lips curl up into a smile. "You're welcome."

Gabriel returns her smile before he turns around, heart feeling lighter than it had been in days. There's a new bounce in his steps as he makes his way towards Chase's room. Maybe today isn't going to be so bad after all.

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 4

Glacial blue eyes flashes. The sound of a gunshot rings in the still air. And then he is falling. It feels like he is falling a long time before he hits the surface.

Cold sharp pain blooms all over his body. Like thousand needles pricking into him all at once. Sharp and relentless. He couldn't breathe. His body is screaming in agony as he is dragged further down into darkness. Water floods his lungs, and every breath feels like he's swallowing fire. Every inhale and exhale burn. The last thought that flits through his mind before his body goes numb and he loses consciousness is that this must be what hellfire feels like.

Lucas snaps his eyes open. He is sprawled on his back in bed, cold sweat covering his naked skin. As stares up at the ceiling, cold blue eyes bright in the morning light, his face is calm and serene. All in all, he looks peaceful. The rapid rise and fall of his chest are the only indication that he is anything but.

---

Gabriel startles awake when he feels a body draped over his back. He gasps when two fingers shove their way into him, his body jerking away instinctively from the intrusion. He's stopped from moving too far when a hand grabs him by the hips and the full weight of the body on top of him presses down, restraining him. A hand fists themselves into his hair and pulls hard, snapping his head up at a painful angle. Unable to comprehend what's happening, he starts to panic.

"Wha-?" Gabriel's eyes dart around wildly before he catches sight of Lucas. The man is nosing at his nape, eyes closed. A terrified whine escapes his throat as he realizes what this is. The silent fury. The eerie stillness. The closed off expression. He had seen this before and the last time this happened, he ended up traumatized. Fear courses through him and he starts to tremble.

"Lucas, please..." he tries even though he knows nothing he says is going to go through to Lucas when he is like this. Reliving whatever memories he has stuck in his head. The hatred and loathing is palpable in the way he forces himself on Gabriel.

Gabriel bites his lips when he feels Lucas's cock nudging between his ass cheeks in search of his hole. His eyes begin to water, and he struggles under Lucas's heavier build, but there's no give. He's trapped. "No, Lucas, please!" he sobs out.

Completely silent, Lucas lets go of his hair and slides his hand down to his chest, holding him tight against him. His cock nudges once, twice around his entrance before it catches. Then in one hard thrust, he shoves in, forcing Gabriel to muffle his screams into the pillow. Without giving him time to adjust to his girth, Lucas starts a fast pace, his breathing heavy in Gabriel's ear. He grips his pillow tight and holds on as Lucas slams into him. Tears leak onto the sheets as he tries to stifle his cries.

"Gabe!"

Gabriel's head snaps up. Chase is standing in his doorway looking as pale as a ghost. In a matter of seconds, he's in the room reaching out to pull Lucas off him. Sensing his approach, Lucas growls low in his throat as his grip tightens. Gabriel doesn't know where he summoned the strength from, but he manages to shake his head at Chase, warning him to stay back. Chase halts, looking confused and concerned. But when Gabriel winces in pain at a particularly hard thrust, he darts forward.

"Go away!" he bites out.

Chase freezes.

"Go, Chase. Please..." he chokes as Lucas's thrusts become frantic, pounding hard into him from behind. The headboard slams into the wall as the bed squeaks in protest. "GO!"

Chase crumbles in on himself. He swallows before taking a step backwards, eyes never leaving Gabriel's face. When he reaches the door, he pauses, jaws twitching as he clenches his teeth. For a moment, Gabriel thought he's just going to stand there, but then he turns around and walks back down the hallway, his footsteps growing softer until they fade away.

Gabriel lets his head fall. He doesn't want Chase to get into trouble for his sake. Especially not with Lucas. Chase has got enough on his plate. He doesn't need to shoulder Gabriel's problems too. It's just a little fucking, albeit one that feels very much like rape, but nothing he couldn't handle. He muffles another cries of pain as Lucas pulls out and thrusts back in, pushing himself up onto his hands. He repeats the movement, his eyes burning on where he shoves himself into Gabriel.

Grabbing him by his hips, Lucas pulls him up onto his knees before mounting him again. It hurts but all he can do is grit his teeth and wait it out, desperately hoping that Lucas would finish soon even when he knows that wishful thinking. When he gets like this, cold fury simmering underneath his calm exterior, Lucas doesn't fuck to come. He fucks like it's his mission. Like it's something he has to do. If Gabriel didn't know better, he would say Lucas is acting possessive. Every hard punishing thrust is like a claim. A warning.

Gabriel leans on his arms as he struggles to keep his position. Lucas grabs his hair and shoves his head down so that his back arches obscenely and fucks some more before pulling out. He rips the condom off, leaning down as he furiously jerks his cock over Gabriel's ass. Hot semen stripes his skin, seeping into his abused hole. There's no moan, groan or even a sigh to signify his orgasm.

Then comes the part that hurts the worst. Lucas leaves without saying a word. Not even a backward glance or any form of acknowledgement. Gabriel is used to the feeling. To be used and thrown aside, but when it's Lucas, the hurt cuts deeper. He doesn't know why he still cares.

Fuck.

Gabriel pushes himself up slowly, a grimace on his face. Grabbing the towel that was still lying on the floor, he wraps it around his hips, deciding that a hot shower would help him feel human again. He limps into the hallway and makes his way to the communal shower when he hears voices. .

"That's right buddy, I'm watching you. Make those pearly white shines, I don't want you getting cavities. Getting drilled is no fun, trust me." The voice is somewhat distorted, and he finds out why when he reaches the doorway. Chase is eying Sam, toothbrush in his mouth. They're both standing in front of the sink.

Chase notices his presence from the mirror. His face shuts down and deliberately looks away. Bending over, he gurgles and spits, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he's done. Feeling snubbed, Gabriel shifts his gaze and finds them locked on Sam's who is staring at him through the mirror. He gives Sam a small smile. The boy waves back. Chase straightens up and places his toothbrush in the holder by the sink.

"Hello Chase," he greets in a low rumble, voice rough from trying to suppress his screams earlier. Chase gives a curt nod, not looking at him. He sighs.

"Chase, about Luc-," He spares a glance at Sam before continuing, "About what happened earlier, I didn't mean to shout at you. I didn't want you to get into trouble," he explains, eyes pleading.

Chase turns around, eyes wide and furious. "Gabe, I don't give a damn if I get into trouble! He was hurting you!"

Sam spits into the sink and says, "Chase, you said a bad word!"

"Sorry, bud," Chase apologizes, making a zip motion over his lips. When Sam's preoccupied with washing his toothbrush and gurgling his mouth, Chase returns his gaze. He leans back against the porcelain sink, eyes tired and exhausted.

"You were hurt, Gabe. And I can't just stand by and do nothing about it. I just can't," he continues, his voice soft. "It feels wrong."

"Chase, you can't save everyone. Though you try." He limps into the room, and Chase is on his feet in an instance, rushing over to Gabriel to help him. He huffs. "And I thought chivalry is dead."

Chase blushes. He watches in amusement as the blush spreads across Chase's cheek to burn at the tip of his ears. Without thinking, he lifts a hand and flicks the reddened ear, earning a small yelp from the green eyed boy. When Chase looks up at him with wide eyes, he feels his own face flushed red.

"What's that for?"

He shrugs, looking down. "Your ears were red. And I umm... I don't know why I did that," he finishes lamely, giving Chase a sheepish look. Chase stares for a moment before a smile works its way onto his face, green eyes twinkling.

"Chase," Sam whines as he tugs on Chase's jeans. "Can I go and read now?"

"Yeah yeah." Chase kneels down, so he is eye level with Sam. "Is it the one Ms. Rosen asked you to finish this weekend? What was it called? Charlotte something..."

"Charlotte's Web! I'm almost finished!"

"Good. Have you done all your homework?"

"Yep!" Sam says proudly. "Can I go now? I want to know if Fern managed to save Wilbur!"

"Alright alright, go," Chase says, smacking Sam's ass as he runs out of the communal shower, whooping. "Nerd," Chase huffs, expression fond.

Gabriel feels a tug in his chest at the soft look on Chase's face. "You're a good brother."

Chase startles and rubs a hand behind his neck, embarrassed. Then his expression turns sad, and he drops his hand. "I'm not really. I tried, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough." He huffs. "I'm too stubborn for my own good. He nearly lost me, you know? And for what? Because I didn't want to play by the rules. If I die, he's going to be all alone. In this hell hole." Chase shakes his head angrily. "What kind of brother would I be then? A fucking lousy one."

Gabriel is confused. Is Chase blaming himself for what happened with Alastair? For standing up for himself? That's ridiculous. The home, the prostitution, the beating and raping are not Chase's fault. In fact, if Chase wants to blame someone, he should blame it on him. But before he could say anything, Chase takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders.

"Ah, what do you care about my problems right? We all lived here. Hell, you've been here three months, am I right?" When he nods, Chase makes a 'There you go' gesture before continuing. "You've been living this crap for three months, and here I am whining to you of all people." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Gabe."

"Chase, please don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for." Gabriel looks away, guilty. The person who should be sorry is him. He should say so, tell Chase but his courage fails him. He's a coward. Swallowing hard, he nods towards one of the shower stalls. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Oh! Okay. Umm, I'll leave you to it." Chase turns around, exiting the room with a small wave of his hand. Feeling weary, Gabriel walks towards the last stall. As he's hanging his towel on the hook by the shower's door, Chase stumbles back in. "Hey, Gabe? Oh." When he looks up at the entrance, he sees Chase's head peeking around the corner, red as a tomato, his eyes looking everywhere but at Gabriel.

"You're naked," Chase states.

Gabriel can't help it, he laughs. "Chase, it's not like you haven't seen me naked before. And after last night..." He lets his voice trails off as memories of their time last night returns with a vengeance. Suddenly, the room feels a little too warm, stifling. And he feels an odd need to cover himself.

"Yeah well," Chase's still deliberately not looking at him, eyes flicking in the vicinity around Gabriel before settling on a spot on the floor a few feet in front of him. He clears his throat before continuing. "Um, about last night, I just want to say that I'm really sorry. I hope you can find it in you to somehow forgive me for what I did. I didn't have a choice, and I know that's a shit excuse but I-"

"Chase," Gabriel stops him before he can ramble further. "It's okay. I consented."

Chase is still shaking his head, "That's dubious at best and that doesn't make it right, I-"

"Chase, really. It's okay. If you're determined to apologize then I should too. You didn't consent to that."

"Yeah but I'm the one who-" Chase makes a vague gesture with his hands to which Gabriel gives him an unimpressed look.

"It doesn't matter who penetrates who." Chase grimaces at Gabriel's phrasing. "Nonconsensual sex is still nonconsensual. But just so you know, you made it feel like- you made it feel good. I'm sorry, that crosses the line and I've made you uncomfortable," he rushes to continue, face red.

Chase is staring up at him, eyes wide. "Really?" he whispers. Gabriel tilts his head, not understanding. "That- it felt good?"

His face feels warm as he nods. Chase breaks out into a slow smile. It's like watching the sun rise. The smile starts at the corner of his mouth before reaching his eyes, making them sparkle as crinkles begin to form at the corners. His breaths hitch. Chase is beautiful. The sort of beauty that radiates warmth and gentleness. How had he never noticed it before?

"Is it wrong of me to say that I enjoyed it too?" Chase asked softly.

Smiling, he shakes his head, "I'm glad."

"Me too."

They stare at each other, both with a stupid smile on their face. He doesn't know how long he'd been standing there naked, having this impromptu staring contest with Chase when the sound of a rumbling stomach draws both their attention back to the present. Chase blushes. He does that a lot. Gabriel wonders if he's the reason for Chase's sudden shyness. He secretly hopes so.

"Hah... That reminds me. I was going to ask if you would umm... if you like, maybe we could have lunch together after you showered?" Chase blurts. He says the last part fast like he is afraid he is going to lose his nerve if he doesn't. "Maybe hang out a little?" His eyes look hopeful as he continues. "I would like to get to know you, Gabe."

Heat prickles his eyes. He swallows, trying hard not to choke up. He must be more pathetic than he realizes to get so emotional because... What? Because someone wants to spend time with him? To do something normal people do like eating and talking instead of come in, fucks and leaves. It's only been three months, but he has already forgotten what it feels like to be treated with common courtesy.

"I'd like that," Gabriel says, voice wobbly, smiling at Chase from under his lashes. "I'd like to know you too, Chase."

Chase grins wide, vibrating in place. "Awesome. Just come and get me when you're done. I'll be in my room."

He nods and then Chase is gone. He steps into the stall and turns on the showers, turning his face up towards the spray. The warm water beat down onto his head and body. As he reaches for the body wash, he realizes he's smiling. Even the throbbing pain between his ass cheek couldn't dim the lightness in his heart one bit.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Coming Out, Ru

I know a lot of friends who are gay or lesbian whose parent just pretend like that aspect of their life doesn't exists and have same relationship with their son and daughters just like before. Fake ignorance is still bliss I guess.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Curse Words

Can any Malaysian take a guess what that curse word was? XD Also, what do you usually use as a curse word in your language?

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Drenched

Rain in Malaysia is like gallons of water pouring down on you, loud rain soundtracks on your roof and thunder booming everywhere whereas rain in the Netherlands, even if it's 1/8 the heaviness of Malaysia's downpour, it'll already be flooded XD

[PREVIEW] MWR up!

Recognize this art style? Guess who is writing again? XD

[TIER 2] MWR: The Now

This is Angel's POV and definitely isn't the true 'POV' cause everyone has their own situations and personalities. This is how she has managed to live life so far and her outlook are more confident and brighter because of the experiences she has had. So I don't think we should compare at all about how one should or should not make their choices because everyone has a different take on everything. Still, I like that she jumped in both feet with Drew <3 Sure and steady.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: White Sneakers

When the store person doesn't tell you that it's part of a school uniform and you proudly wears it around XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Monkey Business

When the monkey looks super adorable and people friendly but they're nasty creatures XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Stereotype

When you're regarded as small fry in your home country but became a hunk in another. That will let anyone overcome their height complex XD unless your bf towers over you XD

[MOBILE WALLPAPER] Happy Easter!

Are you all excited for Easter already? Hahah my mother in law already got us so much easter eggs lol also some for Shinji XD He's a bit more than 1 and a half year old ^^ Hope he gets the concept of searching for eggs XD probably we will just 'hide' it in sight so he can spot it and pick them up XD

These will also be the stickers for this month!

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hey Gabriel, wake up..."

Gabriel blinks groggily as strong arms wrapped themselves around his back and under his knees. He startles awake when he's being lifted up and grabs onto the first thing his hands come across.

There's a small huff of laughter and an amused voice tease good-naturedly. "It's okay, Gabriel. It's alright. It's only me. You're grabbing my nipples pretty hard there."

Gabriel stares up at the face smiling down at him. "Lucas...?" He squints, still disoriented and sleepy when his gaze falls onto his hand that is white knuckling onto the front of Lucas's shirt. He lets go, casting his eyes down as he mutters, "Sorry..."

"If it makes you feel better, you can hold on to me."

Thinking he'd heard Lucas wrong, Gabriel looks up and searches his face. When Lucas doesn't say anything, he rasps out a hopeful "Really?" Lucas nods, expression soft.

Heart inexplicably warmed, he pressed closer, wrapping his arms around the solid body against him. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his head against the soft fabric. Lucas adjusts his grip and carries him out the van, using his shoulder to nudge the door shut. It didn't take him long to start crying after that, silent tears staining Lucas's shirt.

He feels like a baby for crying. But he can't stop the tears from falling if he tried. The familiar warmth and smell surrounding him breaks something inside him. Lucas's touch is careful and gentle, his voice soft and soothing, a stark contrast to what he'd just endure. He feels shaky and fragile like he might break at the slightest touch.

His hands tangle into Lucas's shirt, crumpling it as he breathes in the soft flowery scent of the fabric softener. There's something else too. Something breezy yet wild, like the ocean. Lucas's body wash. He relaxes, taking comfort in the knowledge that the horrible night is over, and his job is done. At least for the moment. As they pass through the hallway, something catches his eyes.

A door. To Chase's room. Chase.

He snaps his eyes up. "Where's Chase?"

"Chase's in the shower right now. He got out before you did."

"Is he okay?"

Lucas nods and looks down at Gabriel, an upward tilt at the corner of his lips. "You both did good today. I'm pleased." He pauses and adds, "Alastair worked you over real bad tonight, didn't he?"

Shame courses through his veins and he looks away. He understood that he's a plaything, and that providing sexual gratification is his purpose. But what happened to him tonight was so dehumanizing, it made him feel less like a human and more like trash. Rode hard and put away wet. It's hard to summon the dignity after that to act or feel like a person again.

"Did he damage you?"

"I don't know," he answers honestly. "I feel sore. It hurts when I sit."

Lucas clenches his jaw. "I'm going to take a closer look, okay? And if you're injured, I'll send Gadreel for you tomorrow. I'm going to make it all better." He bends down and plants a soft kiss on his forehead. His eyes close at the touch, and the fluttery feeling in his chest doubles three folds.

He opens his eyes when he hears a door being shoved open. Looking around, he's surprised that they're in Lucas's room. He was expecting the communal shower, but instead Lucas is nudging the door to his adjoining bathroom with his foot. As the group home's supervisor, Lucas enjoys certain perks and having his own bathroom is one of them.

"Alright Gabriel, I'm going to put you down. I think it's best if you sit on the toilet seat while I fill the tub. Then we can get you cleaned so that I can check for injuries," he explains, straight to the point. His tone has changed, and he's acting different, more methodical and impassive. The room feels a degree or two colder.

Gabriel struggles to his feet as Lucas sets him down, muscles protesting. He guides himself down onto the toilet seat, blood rushing to his face as semen drips out his anus to splash down the toilet. Sneaking a glance at Lucas, he breathes a sigh of relief as the man appears to be busy preparing the bath to notice. He spares his body a glance before he looks away, glad that he couldn't see himself in the mirror.

From what little he'd seen, he's filthy, covered in bodily fluids and bruises. The only thing that seems untouched is his penis, lying limp between his thighs. It's a sorry sight. Clients pay to take pleasure from his body and never once did they reciprocate. Besides Lucas, who sometimes gave him the reach-around, he rarely came from any of his sexual encounters. Unless his orgasming is part of the clients pleasure. He shudders as he thinks of Charlene aka 'Chastity'.

Wait. That's not right. He did experience an orgasm tonight. And he remembered the afterglow. It was a good one. But how? Chase, his brain supplies. Memories of tender green eyes and soft kisses slam into him so hard, he's left gasping.

"Gabriel, what?" Lucas looks up from his place at the side of the tub.

"N..nothing." He shakes his head, averting his eyes.

Chase. How could he forget that? Chase fucked him tonight. Chase fucked him like he means something. Something other than just a willing hole. The conflict on his face as he was forced to penetrate him reminds him that what they did was essentially rape. In a way. They hadn't consented because they wanted to but because they were forced to. So why did it feel different?

Chase was so gentle. Instead of pain, he felt a slight burn and then the overwhelming feeling of fullness. He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off Chase's face as he thrusted into him, enraptured by those forest green eyes that brightened with every sound he made. He remembered being so caught up in pleasure that he hadn't caught it when Chase kissed him. Gabriel brings his fingers up to his bottom lips. Chase had kissed him!

Before Lucas, no one had ever kissed him on the lips before. Too shocked at the time, he hadn't reacted, didn't know how. But when Chase let out that heart wrenching whimper, he kissed back. His heart was beating so fast, and he was feeling so confused but when Chase moaned happily into his mouth, all doubts fled his mind. Their tongues clashed, both of them desperate for more. He recalls long dark eyelashes, sun-kissed skin, and freckles. Chase has freckles. He never noticed them before. They suit him. He wonders what else he'd missed about the green-eyed teen.

Chase kept his thrusts against his prostate, not letting up as he worked him into a frenzy. When he came, it's one of the most intense orgasms of his life. His body locked up, and his mind blanked out, just pure bliss as he shot ropes after ropes of white fluid, hips thrusting up with the force of it. That's the first time he'd come untouched. He wasn't sure if he could at first. When he regained his strength to open his eyes, he's met with wide green ones, looking back with awe and wonder.

Staring down at his hands, the beginnings of doubt prickle at the edge of his mind. He must have remembered it wrong. For a moment there, he'd thought Chase looked at him like he's something good, something special. But that can't be it. Chase had seen first hand what he does, what he was doing when Chase was forced to fucked him. No sane human being would look at him and see anything other than a used whore. Maybe not so much now since he is seventeen and his body is still young. But a few years down the road, all the abuse would take its toll. And then what?

Gabriel finds himself unable to stop the sob that threatens to escape him. What is going to happen to him? Is this going to be his life? Getting fucked by strangers every night? Letting them do whatever depraved thing they have in mind? He's scared. He doesn't know how much more of this his body could take. On more than one occasion, he had woken up to a bloody sheets.

One day, a client would get too rough and he'll end up in the hospital with a messed up rear or brain damage from lack of oxygen. He's been strangled with rope, scarves and ties, choked on dick shoved so far down his throat he passed out. Or worse, he could end up dead in the streets, stuffed in an alleyway, his body left to rot, forgotten and insignificant. Just as he's about to have a full-blown panic attack, a strong hand grips him by his arm and pulls him up.

"Let's get you in the tub," Lucas murmurs.

Staring up at him with wide, terrified eyes, it dawns on him that Lucas would know. If he ends up dead somewhere, there's at least one person who would miss him. The thought reassures him somewhat. He leans his weight onto the arms holding him up and limps towards the tub. With Lucas's help, he's able to lift his legs up and step inside.

The water is warm against his skin. Settling down into the tub, Gabriel lets out a sigh and drops his head, closing his eyes. He could hear Lucas tinkering about the bathroom before he takes a seat by the tub. Using the washcloth he'd found, Lucas begins to clean him. First he wipes down his arms, then his chest before he takes him by his shoulder and guides him forward, allowing him to reach his back. The soft cloth feels comfortable against his skin, the gentle circular motion lulling him to sleep. It feels so good.

"Lean back and spread your legs," Lucas instructs. Gabriel leans back against the white porcelain and spreads his legs as far as the tub allows him to go. Lucas swipes the cloth down his abdomen and hips. Then, he lifts one of Gabriel's legs up and runs the cloth over it, washing away most of the semen stain on the inside of his thighs. He did the same for the other leg before motioning for him to stand up.

When he does, Lucas drains the tub and turns on the shower. He instructs Gabriel to stand beneath it. He does, letting the hot water beat down on him. Running his hands through his hair, he tries to wash out the sticky substances there. As the telltale fluid sluices off him, so does the tension in his body. Exhaustion settles deep into his bones. He braces his palms against the black tiles in front of him and lets his head hang down.

Someone steps into the tub with him. He turns around, eyes focusing on all that glorious skin in front of him. Lucas is handsome by himself but a naked Lucas is a sight. His body is a work of art. He is muscular but not overly so, his body chiseled and angled not unlike an ancient Greek sculpture. There's a quiet grace to his movements too, sure and certain, that complements it.

Adorning his chest, right over his heart is a tattoo the shape of a flaming sword. The hilt is positioned right over a small round scar, and the intricate design around it gives the scar an appearance of a gemstone from afar. It's inked black and with cerulean blue as flame.

Lucas takes a step towards Gabriel, body glistening as the spray falls onto his broad chest. A couple more steps and they're standing hips to hips, his icy blue eyes boring into his own. At 5'11, Gabriel is by no means short but Lucas still has a few inches on him. Lucas closes his eyes and leans down, pressing their forehead together. The action causes every muscle in his body to unclench. This feels intimate. Gabriel so rarely gets to have this that he's soaking it up while he can.

They stand like that under the hot shower for awhile. Steam rises and everything takes on a blurred, misty look. They look like drowned cats with their hair hanging down, clinging wetly to their forehead. Lucas opens his light blue eyes and when he sees Gabriel staring at him, he smiles. This close to him, Gabriel can see the devilish gleam in his eyes. The man has a unique smile, one that has mirth dancing in it but still gives an impression of a quiet smile. It is both captivating and scary to look at.

Lucas reaches out and grabs the shampoo bottle by Gabriel's head, pouring a copious amount onto his hands. He startles in surprise when Lucas starts rubbing the clear pink liquid onto his head, nails scratching against his scalp. He leans into the touch and sighs with contentment.

"You like that?" Lucas mumbles. He nods. "Maybe I should do this more often. Would you like that?" Gabriel nods. "Even if you have to go through another night like this?" Gabriel hesitates but then he nods. He will take a hundred nights like this one if that means he gets to have this. Lucas brushes a foamy hand against his cheek and mumbles. "Why are you so good to me?"

"I want to be good for you, Lucas," he says and means every word.

"You do, Angel." He looks down at Gabriel for a moment, face smooth as a marble before returning to the task at hand. Foams begin to form and dribble down the side of his face and into his eyes. Before he has the chance to wipe it away, Lucas turns him around and guides his head under the spray. Gabriel runs his fingers through his hair, feeling the dirt and suds flow away with the water.

Without warning, Lucas starts running his hands over his back. A familiar scent hits his nostrils. The ocean. Lucas is using his own body wash on Gabriel. He is going to smell like him now. For some reason, the notion puts a smile on his face. He turns around.

"Can I?" he asked, motioning for the body wash. Lucas nods. He squeezes the blue liquid onto his palm and lathers them up until they're nice and foamy. Closing the gap between them, he runs his hands in circular motions down Lucas's chest to his abdomen and the jut of his hips. He hesitates briefly before tracing the trail of dark blonde hair down to his penis. He washes the area around the groin, massages the balls there before taking Lucas's penis in his hand, giving it a few tugs. At his ministration, Lucas begins to harden.

"Gabriel," he says warningly. When he looks up, Lucas is giving him a stern expression but his eyes are soft. "Cmon, turn around and brace yourself against the wall. Spread your legs for me."

Obediently, he turns around and presses both palms against the wall and spreads his legs. He feels self-conscious as Lucas kneels behind him and spreads him open. He can feel his hole twitch as the cold air hits the sensitive skin there. Water rolls down his back and slides down between his cheeks. Fingers start to probe at his opening. Gabriel hisses and shies away from the touch. The area around his ass is still sensitive, and his rim feels raw and used.

"Just relax," Lucas mumbles. Gabriel takes a deep breath and tries to unclench. Lucas pushes a finger past his rim and then another. He opens up easily, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. Gabriel focuses on his breathing as Lucas scissors him open further, pumping his fingers in and out.

"Hmm... Apart from being a little swollen, there doesn't seem to be any tearing. Nothing some sleep and rest couldn't cure. You'll be as good as new come tomorrow morning," Lucas announces, pulling his fingers out and playful smacks Gabriel's ass before standing up. He climbs out the tub and grabs some towels.

Gabriel turns off the shower and steps out of the tub gingerly. Draping a towel around Gabriel's shoulder, Lucas exits the bathroom while drying himself. Left alone, he wipes himself down and lowers his head as he dries his hair. Flicking his dark strands out of his eyes, Gabriel wraps the towel around his hips and walks out.

Lucas is lying on his bed naked, stroking his now fully hard, condom covered cock. He raises an expectant eyebrow at him. Gabriel swallows the lump in his throat and walks over.

Dropping his towel, he climbs onto Lucas's bed, crawling up his legs to position himself on top of Lucas's crotch. The head of his cock nudges at his sore opening. He doesn't feel like sex, and he is still hurting too much to enjoy it. But he doesn't want to disappoint Lucas, not after he had been so nice to him.

"Um... don't we need lube for this?" Gabriel asks meekly.

"You're still open and loose, Gabriel. Plus, you don't want to go to the trouble of cleaning up again, do you?"

He looks down and shakes his head. Holding Lucas's cock in place, he starts to impale himself slowly, breath hitching as his hole is forced to take yet another cock. Once he's fully seated, Lucas takes hold of his hip, mindful of the bruises there and starts to thrust.

Gabriel lies down on Lucas' chest, head turned and closes his eyes. Lucas starts out slow with long full thrusts. He's careful not to brush his prostate. Before long, Lucas's thrusts begin to quicken, and his hand moves from Gabriel's hip to grab his ass, spreading him wide as he fucks into him, all rhythm lost as he nears completion. Gabriel squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth, waiting it out.

After several hard thrusts, Lucas comes silently, grabbing hard onto his ass, nails digging into the flesh of his ass. They stay like that for a while, Lucas's arms around him as he comes down from the high. His rapid heartbeats thuds against his chest.

Gabriel treasures moments like this when Lucas is sated and content, basking in his post orgasm glow. He's much softer, more affectionate after sex. The quiet moment continues until Lucas smacks his ass. Taking that as a sign, he pushes himself up and carefully lifts himself off Lucas's softening cock. Lucas rolls the condom off and throws it into the bin beside his bed.

"Go to bed, Gabriel. I'll see you tomorrow." He takes Gabriel's hand and places a kiss on his knuckles. Gabriel nods and wraps the towel around his hips again before limping away. When he reaches the door, he looks back at Lucas. He is already turned around, covers up to his hips, breathing even.

"Goodnight, Lucas," he whispers before shutting the door with a soft click.

He limps back to his room, pausing when he notices lights shining out from a half-open door. Realizing that it is Chase's room, he approaches it, bare feet silent on the hardwood floor. When he reaches the doorway, he sees Chase kneeling by Sam's bed, tucking the covers up around his little body. He is wearing a worn looking t-shirt with a graphic logo on it and boxers.

Sensing that he's being watched, Chase looks up. When he spots Gabriel, the corner of his lips turns up. He stands and walks towards him, a slight limp in his gait. Chase places his hand on the doorknob and smiles. He smiles back. Watching Chase, he can't help but think that something is off. He struggles to pinpoint exactly what it is when Chase murmurs, voice soft. "Goodnight, Gabe." Then, he pushes the door close, and Gabriel is left standing outside in the dark.

He blinks before he limps back to his room. He lets the towel fall and climbs into bed, pulling the cover over his exhausted body. He rolls onto his stomach and reaches for his bag that's lying on the floor beside his bed. He unzips it and pulls out a notebook and a pen. Flipping the notebook over, he flips through the last pages backwards until he reaches his last entry. He writes for a while before closing it and returns it to his bag.

It isn't until he's lying on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling that he realizes what's bugging him. The look on Chase's face as he closes the door, the smile curling his lips. His smile has lost the warmth and openness in them. Now, it just looks small and... sad.

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 2 (part 3)

Gabriel is almost catatonic by the end of it. Everything hurts. His jaw hurts, his throat hurts, and he just knows that when he does speak, his voice will be gruff like sandpaper. He wonders if he should skip dinner, sure that he won't be able to swallow around solid food anytime soon. Around his wrists and ankles, rope burns marred the delicate skin there.

The familiar ache between his legs causes him to groan unhappily. He doesn't even want to think about his anus. Alastair had decided to fist him to get rid of the come inside him. Then, he had taken it upon himself to dole out lashes to his sore hole just to hear him scream. They had to strap him down because he was trashing too much, desperate to avoid the vicious lashes. He was never subjected to Alastair's abuse before nor had he cried or begged during a session but that night, he broke. The area between his asscheeks is burning red by the time Alastair lets up.

There wasn't much he remembered after that. He felt himself being shoved around. Sometimes, he would come to to find himself in different positions. Everything is a blur of cocks, semen, and naked bodies. Gabriel was just trying to get through the night, doing whatever he is told to do on autopilot. He grabs at the cocks he sees, pumping them, his mouth wide open waiting to be used, legs spread when he feels someone nudging in between.

His body is covered in semen and bruises. No human being should look like this. Used. There's not a part of him untarnished. Three months in and he's all used up. It's hard to imagine he used to be an awkward virgin. He doesn't think there's anything he hadn't done or had been done to him. Had taken maybe a hundred cocks since and now he can add anal fisting to his ever growing lists of sexual experiences. It was both dehumanizing and painful. Alastair gave no thought to the person underneath him, doesn't care that he's a person with feelings and can be hurt.

Gabriel opens his eyes and squints in the darkness. Wetting his dry lips, he tastes dried semen at the corner of his mouth. He's alerted to his surroundings when he hears raised voices. He straightens up, groaning in pain as he did and tries to get his bearing, blinking as he recognizes the interior of Lucas's van. The one he uses to drive them around. He tries to move but something holds him back. A glance down shows him that he's buckled in. Raised voices can be heard outside. That's probably what had woken him up.

"You know how he is. He got carried away."

"That's no excuse! Gabriel is good and obedient. He'll do anything you say, but there's a limit. His subservience should not be taken advantage of. What Alastair did- he'd gone too far. I've never seen Gabriel so out of it as he was today. Please keep a handle on your friend, Zael. They are here to entertain. Not to be tortured."

Gabriel perks up. That is Lucas's voice. And he sounds mad. Because he had gotten hurt. Lucas does care. Warmth blossoms in his chest and he feels the corner of his lips curl up into a small smile. Lucas had called him good. Obedient. If that is what it takes to get to see this side of Lucas again, then yes, he can be obedient. He looks up when the door to the driver seat opens, and Lucas climbs in, starting the engine. A bolt of pain shoots up his spine as the van rumbles to life causing him to hiss. Lucas turns around at the sound.

"Look who's up," he murmurs, reaching back to run his fingers through Gabriel's sweaty and come covered hair. "It's okay, Gabriel. I'm here. Go back to sleep. I'll wake you when we're home."

Home. Yes. He is going home with Lucas. Gabriel smiles at the thought as he lets himself drift off, happy and content to have Lucas's scratching and massaging his scalp. "Love you, Lucas..." he mumbles.

With the steady hum of the engine lulling him to sleep, his breathing soon evens out. Before long, he's fast asleep, completely unaware of the body a seat away from him. Large sad green eyes watch as he dreams. In the dream, he was chasing something and then he's falling. Falling fast and deep. His body twitches and his eyelids flutter, but they stay closed. He settles and the landscape changes. It's quiet and calm where he is. Forest grows on all sides, a pasture of green. He should feel at ease but for some reason, he's restless. A niggling feeling at the back of his mind like he's forgetting something. Something important.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: I See No Difference

Malaysia is a multi-cultural country. The main three ethnics are Malays, Chinese, and Indians. Maybe cause we've been together for so long, we've pretty blended in. Our cultures have intertwined so much that we integrated other cultures into our own traditions. It's nice to see our own new blend of culture XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Eat First

When you're used to eating together and can't eat when everyone else is looking XD In Malaysia, it's first come first serve especially since we really hate food gone cold XD

[TIER 10] It's A Terrible Life novel link

For those who like to read it on PDF chapter by chapter instead of update per update, you can find the link here! Since the chapter are cut into part in the Patreon updates, for the dropbox, I'll only update the chapter's PDF when it's completed! 

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 2 ( part 2)

Chase's jaw is aching by the time Ramsay is done. There are tear tracks running down his face and snot too. Ramsay was rough, triggering his gag reflex. He swallows and grimaces, hating the aftertaste of semen in his mouth. Of course, he wasn't allowed to spit, and the bitter tang is still fresh at the back of his tongue. Saliva drips messily down his chin, and he wipes it clean with the back of his hand.

Ramsay zips himself up and saunters to an armchair beside Alastair and sits, crossing his legs, hands clasped on his belly. "If that's how your mouth feels like, I can't wait to pound that ass of yours," he drawls. He picks up a glass and a bottle of Scotch from the small table at his side and pours himself a drink. Chase ignores him and finds himself glancing over at Gabriel again. His eyes widen as he sucks in a deep breath.

Gabriel is completely naked now, and he's riding Zael's cock, one arm clutching the man's shoulder and the other leaning back as he balances himself. His head is bowed, and he's gasping and trembling as he works himself up and down, thighs muscles flexing with the effort. His back is glistening and even from this distance, Chase could see the hair at the nape of his neck curl at the sweat gathered there.

He pulls his eyes away, heat coloring his cheek and finds himself staring right at Alastair. The man is leaning forward in his chair, arms on his thighs and is gazing intently at Chase. As he watches, Alastair flicks his eyes in Gabriel's direction. A chill runs down his spine. A cunning smile forms on Alastair's face and dread pools at the pit of his stomach. A long, loud moan fills the room. Chase doesn't dare to look.

Alastair's voice startles him. "Zael, do you mind if I borrow Gabriel?"

"Not at all."

Alastair's smile grows wider. Chase's throat couldn't get drier. "Gabriel, be a dear and come over here, please?" He hears some shuffling and clothes rustling before the sound of approaching footsteps draw near. Soon, Gabriel is standing completely naked by Alastair's side, in full view of Chase's line of sight.

He's not a saint, okay? He'll be the first one to admit that he's a man slut. A women and men-izer if there's such a thing. He can't help himself as he lets his eyes roam Gabriel's slender body. His well toned, hairless chest. Those strong looking arms and thick thighs. And his to-die-for hipbones when his eyes freeze on his half hard cock. Gabriel's rough voice breaks the near dead silence of the room. "How do you want me?"

"I think you should ask Chase that."

Gabriel scrunches up his face in confusion before turning to tilt his head at Chase. Before he could ask, Chase blurted out, panicked. "Me? Why me?" His heart is running a mile a minute, almost like it wants to jump out of his chest and race into oblivion. The smile on Alastair's face is bordering on eerie. Chase doesn't have a good feeling about this. Not at all.

"You've been so good today. So obedient. I think you deserve a treat. Don't you think so, Ramsay?" Ramsay is sipping his Scotch, amusement in his eyes.

"I'd say," he agrees, nodding.

"No. It's okay. I'm fine. Thank you," he gruffs out, sneaking glances at Gabriel who is standing still, hands hanging awkwardly by his side, an unreadable expression on his face.

There's a moment of silence before Alastair abruptly stands up and grabs Gabriel's arm, twisting it behind his back and holding him in an arm lock, his chest flushes against Gabriel's back. Gabriel's eyes widen in surprise as he gasps in pain. Then, he's dragging Gabriel back to the loveseat and falls into it, pulling Gabriel down on top of him. With his thighs, he nudges Gabriel's knees apart and using his free hand, he hooks both Gabriel’s legs over the arms on either side of the seat so that Gabriel is spread obscenely with his hole on display.

Chase couldn't help but stares at Gabriel's hole, red and puffy, the rim stretched and gaped a little. It looks painful. He wonders if it's only from the fucking he just had or an accumulation from yesterday's session. Chase glances up. Gabriel is staring back at him, a blank expression on his face.

"Come and get your treat, Chase."

Chase swallows as he snaps his attention back to Alastair. He shakes his head numbly. Alastair tightens his grip on Gabriel, causing him to wince. "Please..." Chase croaks, his voice raspy, eyes pleading. When Alastair shows no signs of relenting, he asks, knowing the answer but needing to say it anyway. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can. And because I want to." He glances down at Gabriel's half hard cock and flicks it with his free hand. Gabriel's thighs twitch and a gasp escapes him. "I want you to fuck him. And I want you to make him come. Untouched. Whores come when they are fed a cock. Ain't that right, slut?" Alastair licks a line up Gabriel's neck.

Chase looks back at Gabriel in horror, but at the same time- desire. It’s sick. For months, he had dreamed about this. Had imagined what it would be like to touch Gabriel. To be able to run his fingers through those soft locks. Feel their naked bodies gliding and grinding into each other. What it's like to be inside him. To feel that warmth enveloping him. To feel that lithe body writhing underneath him, holding on to him as they both chase their orgasm. And now he gets to have it. But it is all wrong. Gabriel doesn't have a say in this. He doesn't want Chase. He doesn't want any of this. He hates this as much as Chase hates having Alastair's cock in him.

"Chase," Alastair warns. "I don't like to repeat myself."

Chase tries to swallow past the lump in his throat. He's about to rape Gabriel. Chase feels like he's about to puke. Tears start to pool in his eyes.

"Chase, it's okay. You can fuck me," Gabriel says in a soft voice. The resigned expression on his face says it all. 'It's okay because I'm used to it.' Chase bites back tears. No, he doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to be another person who uses Gabriel's body. He doesn't want to because he actually gives a fuck. He cares for Gabriel more than just as a warm body to put his penis in.

Alastair picks up a nipple clamp from the table by his loveseat and clasps it around Gabriel's left nipple. Gabriel gasps and struggles a little against Alastair's grip on his arms, breathing hard. "If you don't do as you're told right now, the next one goes here," Alastair threatens, holding up the other piece over Gabriel’s right nipple.

Gabriel has his head bowed as he tries to steady his breathing, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Alastair moves the clamp over Gabriel's right nipple before Chase comes to his senses and stumbles forward. Gabriel hisses as the second clamp bites into his sensitive flesh.

Chase falls to his knees in front of Gabriel. He bends forwards, eyes searching underneath the mop of hair until their eyes meet. Pain is evident on Gabriel's face, and his breaths are coming out in short, sharp bursts.

"I'm sorry, Gabe... I'm sorry," Chase mumbles.

Gabriel gives him a small smile. It's okay, he mouths.

Chase places a tentative palm on the inside of Gabriel's thigh, hoping the touch will help soothe his nerves. He had been supporting a semi for the past few minutes. From perving on Gabriel, his brain supplies. He pulls down the tight boxers and takes his half hard cock in his hand.

"Ah ah. Take it off," Alastair commands. Chase stands and slips the boxers all the way off before kneeling in front of Gabriel again. He bows his head, ashamed and also not wanting to look Gabriel in the face as he jerks himself to full hardness, a deep flush coloring his cheeks. When he decides that he's ready, he looks up, and his heart does a somersault.

Gabriel is watching him raptly, dark blue eyes focused on his cock still fisted in his hand, lips parted. He flicks his eyes up, meeting Chase's before he blushes and looks away, embarrassed. Fuck. Does Gabriel want this too?

Without thinking, he shuffles closer between the V of Gabriel's legs. The flush coloring his cheeks is now spreading down his neck to pool at his chest. Chase can't stop watching. Their eyes find one another, green against blue and the world fades away, and it's just the two of them. It's easy to ignore Alastair ugly mug peering over Gabriel's left shoulder. Ignore Ramsay sipping his stupid Scotch and the others in the room.

He takes a deep breath and guides his cock towards Gabriel's hole. Gabriel's rim looks so raw; it has got to hurt. Chase circles his head around the entrance, using his precome as lube. Gabriel is already loose and open from before but still, he pushes in slowly, paying rapt attention for any signs of discomfort or pain. His head pops in easily, but Gabriel still closes his eyes, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

God, Gabriel feels so hot inside like he's burning. Wincing in sympathy, he leans closer and pushes in steadily. When he's fully seated inside Gabriel, they both let out an audible exhale. He is almost lying on top of Gabriel now, and when he looks up, all he sees is blue. He swallows. Gazing into those azure eyes, it feels like Gabriel is staring right at him. Into his very soul. Suddenly, Chase feels naked and not in the sense that he doesn't have a stitch of clothing on him. He clears his throat.

"Ready, Gabe?" he whispers, voice so low and husky he barely recognizes it.

Gabriel nods. Then, Chase begins to thrust. He pulls out and thrusts back in, switching angles every once in a while, his eyes never leaving Gabriel's face, cataloging all the micro expressions there. Gabriel is lying back against Alastair, pupils dilated and never once did they break eye contact. Gabriel feels so warm and deliciously wet. From Zael's come, his brain reminds him. A surge of possessiveness prompts him to thrust in harder and faster.

Gabriel groans, low and deep, eyes falling shut as he hits the bundle of nerves inside him. Chase aims his thrust, brushing against the spot again and again, drawing out these tiny mewls from Gabriel. He looks so gorgeous like this, debauched and wanton, his lips red and swollen from trying to keep his moans in. Chase wants to kiss those lips, wants to feel the vibration of his moans in his mouth. Forgetting himself, he leans forward and presses their lips together.

Gabriel gasps, his eyes flying open, shocked. But Chase doesn't care. He wants this. Had wanted this for so long. To feel Gabriel below him, to be able to hold him, feel him, kiss him. He knows he's being selfish right now and that he shouldn't be enjoying this because oh my god it's rape but he can't help himself. He moans into Gabriel's mouth and kisses deeper. For his part, Gabriel doesn't respond, his body tensed and lips stiff and stilted.

Defeated, he lets out a broken sob and starts to pull back, about to apologize when Gabriel opens his mouth wider and kisses back. He's hesitant at first like he isn't sure if he's allowed to. Their lips slip and slide against one another, Chase's hand coming up to cup Gabriel's jaw. He can't help the happy sigh that escapes him, the corner of his lips curling up into a smile as he kisses Gabriel- and to have him kiss back!

Gabriel tugs his bottom lips between his teeth, moaning deeply as he bites into it. Chase almost comes on the spot, still buried deep inside Gabriel. His hip gives an involuntary hard thrust, his chest accidentally brushing over the clamps on Gabriel's nipple causing the teen underneath him to cry out, body spasming as he comes, striping his stomach and chest white.

Chase pulls back, lips red and swollen as he watches Gabriel's face crunches up with the force of his orgasm before blissing out as he calms down from the high. The clench of his ass around Chase's cock sends him spiraling into his own orgasm, pumping his load deep inside Gabriel. Chase bows his head, gasping as he tries to catch his breath.

Now that it's over, he doesn't dare to look at Gabriel. Too afraid of what he would see there. Is Gabriel disgusted with him? Will he ever forgive him for this? Oh god, did he fucked this up? But Gabriel did kiss him back, didn't he? So maybe, maybe he wanted this too? He doesn't dare bring himself to hope. Gabriel's in love with Lucas, clear as day. Chase shouldn't forget that. Despite how dubious this situation is, he can't help but feel just a tiny bit glad that he got to have this.

When he finally dares to look up, soft blue eyes are staring back at him. Gabriel's face is relaxed, and there's a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Not the sad one he always wears. A genuine one. The sight leaves Chase breathless. He looks... happy. And Chase did that. He put that smile on Gabriel's face. Without noticing it, his own face breaks into a smile of its own.

- - -

In the amount of time it took Lucas to finish two bottles of beer, he had been hit on by three women and two men. He had declined politely, stating that he's waiting for someone. That isn't too far from the truth. He is waiting, just not a special someone but rather, a group, that at that moment, he notices, just entered the club. He keeps his eyes on them, confirming his suspicion.

The group, consisting of both men and women, are heading towards the VIP section. He does a quick headcount and familiarizes himself with their faces. Ramsay had mentioned that he will be bringing some of his associates along. It isn't uncommon for his 'business partners' to organize orgies or gangbangs. Zael did that countless times with Gabriel. But this is the first time Ramsay had voiced any interest in doing so. What's interesting is that he had declined to give any names when Lucas had asked. Assuming they might be more of Kansas's finest, Lucas wants to scope them out.

He watches as Ramsay's supposed associates push and shove their way through the crowd, acting like self-entitled morons. He observes their antics, takes in their young gullible faces and snorts. They're teenagers- can't be any older than 18 or 20. Associates his ass. He wonders who these people are and why Ramsay would invite them. In any case, they don't seem to be worth his time. He slides off his stool, chucks a few dollar bills as tips and maneuvers his way through the mass of sweaty undulating bodies towards the exit.

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Randomness

You don't need to make plans. You just call all your buddies until one of them Is free to hang out XD

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 2 (part 1)

"Gentlemen," Lucas addresses, standing in the middle of a large carpeted room. They're in one of the VIP rooms at a club downtown called "Casa Erotica." After being in so many of these rooms the past months, they all look almost identical to Gabriel now. Always the same designs with a variation of color and hues.

Today it's fluffy red carpeting, with a solid matte wallpaper the color of a dark rose. Large armchairs and couches littered the rooms. Always close by, a small table with a complimentary basket filled with lubes and condoms and an assortment of toys. He gives the room a cautionary once over. Well, it seems like Casa Erotica plans to give their customer the full experience. A large bed the shape of a heart occupies the far left corner.

"I know you've all been looking forward to tonight's entertainment. You will not be disappointed. On my left, as you are all well acquainted with, is our obedient blue eyed angel. Never one to say no, he will obey all your requests and demands. However, we have someone new tonight. On my right is our green-eyed demon who you all know is a little feisty and needs more encouragement to get on his hands and knees and spread his pretty legs. So don't be afraid to be a little rough."

Gabriel had been watching Chase out of the corner of his eyes during Lucas's little speech. His heart feels heavy as he watches Chase clenches his jaw, his posture rigid. They are both kneeling on either side of Lucas, clad in tight black boxer briefs and matching collars around their neck. He can feel the unease pouring off Chase in waves. His eyes move to the scars lining his back, and he feels an ache deep inside of him. Guilt gnaws at him as he lowers his head, eyes back on the patch of carpeting in front of him.

"You have the whole night to do what you may with our boys here. I will be arriving in five hours to pick them up. Have a good evening." Lucas bows and makes his departure. Gabriel glances up at Lucas's retreating back and waits. But the man left without a backward glance. His eyes drop to the floor in resignation as the door shuts with a soft click.

Someone clears their throat. Gabriel knows better than to look up. Never make eye contact unless he's been told to. He understands his role well. Been taught the rule many times. His job here is to please and obey. He keeps his head down. A pair of pointed, sleek black shoes appears in his line of vision. Then, a finger hooks under his chin, tilting his head up. He is met by light golden eyes, almost yellow in the room's dimmed lightning.

"How's my sweet boy doing? Missed me?" Zael asks in his cloying voice. Gabriel doesn't answer, knows he isn't expected to. He just stares up at the pointed face in front of him. At the too high cheekbones and large forehead. Zael thumbs at his bottom lips and he let them part a little at his insistence. A smile curves Zael's lips as he smears the saliva around before pulling away, leaving his pale pink lips spit slicked.

He reaches back to the round table where a roll up leash lies and takes it, holding it up by the hook and letting the leather material trail to the ground. Gabriel is jerked forward as Zael slips his finger into the small hook ring attached to his collar and pulls. It burns as the leather rubs against the sensitive skins at his neck. He swallows and tries to breathe normally. The collar is fitted exactly, just the right amount of tight.

There's a click and then the same sickeningly sweet voice is saying, "Come, boy. Come with Daddy." Gabriel feels a tug at his throat and stumbles to his feet. He keeps his eyes down as he follows a step behind Zael towards the large couch at the back. They pass by Anthony, who's sitting in a chair, back straight and a constipated look on his face. He doesn't look happy to be here but his presence soothes Gabriel.

He sneaks a peek over his shoulder, back to where Chase is still kneeling on the carpet but now with someone in front of him. It's Ramsay, always in his three-piece suit. He is a stout rounded middle-aged man with a receding hairline. Currently, he's leering at Chase, smirking at the submissive pose he's holding. A sense of protectiveness so strong surges through him. He had always done these sessions alone and seeing someone else being treated like this makes him feel things he has never felt before.

Ramsay takes a hold of Chase's chin, forcing him to look up at him. Chase does, but it's apparent from the death glare that he's not happy with it. He jerks his chin free and continues to stare challengingly at Ramsay. Alastair, who had been sitting in the background, uncrossed his legs with a knowing smile on his face.

A prickle of fear runs through him. But before he could see what happened next, Zael tugs hard on the leash causing him to land on his knees between Zael's spread legs. He chokes, tears pricking his eyes, fingers automatically coming up to pull at the collar. Gentle hands slip themselves into his hair, rubbing soothingly. Zael is still fully dressed, but Gabriel could see the tent in his suit pants. When Zael catches him eyeing his erection, he shakes his head. "Not yet, sweetheart." He slaps at his lap. "Come up here."

Gabriel blinks his tears away and climbs onto Zael's lap. Rough hands grip his hips, guiding him down until he's seated right over his erection. Their bodies are almost touching, and he can feel Zael's damp breaths puffing at his face. The hands on his hips begin a slow stroke up and down the side of his torso before venturing lower, dipping into the waistband of his boxer, cupping his ass. He closes his eyes then. He loathes this part. After three months, he will still never get used to letting people touch him this way.

When Zael's hands pushed his boxer briefs down, baring his ass to the room, he thought about the day he first met Lucas. How sweet and charming he was. How he'd gotten Gabriel to fall head over heel for him in a matter of days. How he lost his virginity at the dead of night in Lucas's room, gasping and moaning in ecstasy. How the next day Lucas told him how much he loves him and if Gabriel loves him just as much. The following night saw Gabriel squirming in bed with Zael, getting fucked like there's no tomorrow.

Gabriel snaps out of his thoughts. After that night, everything changed. Zael started visiting two or three times a week. Then, it became that Gabriel would be dropped off at his place. The first time that happened, he freaked out. Zael likes to watch and the night soon becomes a nightmare that repeats every week.

He shudders as a finger brushes against his entrance, tracing the sensitive rim. When it penetrates him, Gabriel's eyes snap open. He lets out a small gasp and bows his head, fingernails biting into his thighs. He's still sore from last night, and although Zael's being gentle about it, it still feels like someone is poking at a day-old bruise. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine he's back in Lucas's bed where it's warm, and the smell of the ocean surrounds him.

- - -

The club is in high swing as Lucas steps out of the closed-off VIP section catered for private parties. A DJ is playing on a raised platform in the middle of the dance floor, blasting a remix of the current hits as bodies sways and grind against each other, lost in their own world. The bass is turned up so high; he could feel his blood sing with it.

He approaches the bar and eyes the couple that has started to make out beside him. Rolling his eyes, he catches the bartender's attention. Pamela is used to him, having seen him around a few times. She strolls up and slides a bottle of Bud Light over to him, smiling seductively before turning around, showing off her 'Jesse4ever' tattoo on her lower back, just visible above her low-slung jeans. Smiling to himself, he tips the bottle back, savoring the fresh cold beer going down his throat.

One thing Lucas is not, it's humble. He knows he's attractive, handsome even. And he's used to the attention he'll get when he frequents places like this. People hit on him all the time. Both men and women, Pamela included. But frankly, he's just not interested. He doesn't see the appeal of one night stands.

He had all of two relationships in his 26 years of life and three sexual partners. He'd lost his virginity to his childhood friend a year after they started dating. They broke up amicably when they went their separate way after high school. The second relationship he had, they had gotten engaged. It's a chapter he rather forgets. And that brings him to his third and by far the most perplexing ‘relationship’ with Gabriel.

The moment he had set eyes on the teenager, a sense of familiarity so profound hit him right in the gut, leaving him breathless. He doesn't get this way. He doesn't feel this way. Doesn't get lured in by physical appearances. Yes, he notices when someone is handsome or beautiful, but it has always been a casual observation. He never felt the impulse to act on it. So he was stumped.

Unable to resist the siren call, he approached Gabriel, curiosity peaked, wondering what about him that had spoken to him on such a subatomic level. When Gabriel had responded romantically to his advances, to say he was surprised was an understatement. His mind hadn't ventured there. All he wanted to do was to figure him out. Oddly enough, he felt himself responding back. He'd felt a stirring in his gut that he couldn't quite place a finger on.

Gabriel had been vulnerable and still hurting from his loss. Lucas had been a good distraction, and he fed his insecurities and fear. Things had progressed more rapidly than he had anticipated from both sides. That night, after he had deflowered Gabriel, he had taken the time to analyze the situation. What he felt for Gabriel is an anomaly. Something about his blue eyes and dark hair hit home, touching on old wounds. He couldn't explain his behavior.

He doesn't know what made him decide to lure Gabriel into bed and painstakingly took him apart piece by piece. All he knew was that he couldn't keep his hands off him. He found himself returning for more, shoving him up against the wall or bent him over the desk. He needs. And he doesn't understand why. It's like Gabriel soothes this ache in him that he doesn't even realize he has.

He downs the rest of his beer in one go and slams the bottle down on the bar top. Three months down the road and he's still no wiser.

[PREVIEW] MWR up!

Guess whose arc we're on right now? XD

[TIER 2] MWR: Hypochondria

This side of Drew wasn't covered in the backstory >.<lll Was more focus on his and Punk's history together and that little bit about his mom >.< Also, decided to draw this in panel form cause topless Drew heheheheh XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Manglish

Harimau means tiger. But hari-hari mau mau  means Everyday I want want XD When we can speak fluent English but choose not to cause it's too formal for us XD

[TIER 10] It's A Terrible Life sketches wips

I actually already finished like Ep1 XD sketches but I'm not going to line it since I've already gave up the comic idea XD But I think it's nice to share XD For those of you who already read the novel, you can probably tell the subtle difference between how the novel is and how it became now in comic form. Probably you can see why I decided it's a lost cause to try to translate the full novel into comic >.< 

[TIER 3] It's a Terrible Life character sheets

In order of appearance: Gabriel Ward, Lucas Kane, Chase Reed and Michael Angelo (he only appear one third into the story XD)

[TIER 10] It's A Terrible Life: WIP comic

You know, before I decided to post the novel, I did consider turning it into a comic. As you can see from the paneling, I have to make quite big changes to make it flow in comic form >.<ll In the end, it doesn't really work cause it's just too hard to switch a novel to comic form in my opinion. I even came up with this artstyle just for this comic lmao XD I hope you'll enjoy reading it in novel form just as much XD

I feel like I can only draw comic from scratch (like it's made from the start as a comic) instead of turning novels or scripts into comic. The Scars We Hide was originally a script lol and yeah, I feel like they all ended up WIPs.

I do feel in the mood to start a new comic though. Hehehe I really want to do a psychological thriller ^^ And I'll be using this artstyle. What do you all think? ^^ You like it? I've been studying anatomy hard >.<ll

ps: I changed the title and names for the comic version cause I was intending to make 4 eps and pitch it to the mature platform (gave up in the end XD)

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Humidity

When you enter the tropics, you enter condensation XD hot hot condensation XD

[TIER 2] Banana Milkshake: Want to Eat What?

Fun fact: it's wayyyy cheaper to eat out in Asia than to cook unless maybe if you cook for a family. Single and pringle, eat out, hang out, dine out XD Downside: the eternal want to eat what question lmao

[POLL] It's a Terrible Life update schedule

Since this is a novel and I know I like to read them continuously (like long updates) so I'm wondering what you all would prefer? 3x a week: Mon, Wed, Fri or you like it in one go, Fri, Sat and Sun? Let me know! ^^ At the moment, the update schedule is Fri, Sat and Sun but I can change it based on what you all prefer most ^^

[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 1 (part 1)

Warning for prostitution, forced prostitution of minor (barely legal, almost 18), rape, violence, drug abuse and killings.

---

Almost there, Lucas thinks as he throws the pen he'd been using back into its holder. It falls exactly into place. Closing his books, he smiles as he leans back into his armchair, fingers linking together in front of his mouth. The profits have almost doubled this month. He can contribute that to his recent partnership with Curtis Ramsay.

Lucas had managed to convince Ramsay to be part of the crew two months ago. The man is a prominent resident of Lawrence, Kansas. He is a respectable principal of Lawrence High and is known for his philanthropy. His primary generosity is aimed at Kansas's new business ventures, dabbling in funds and investment. He also has stakes in some of the long established companies here. He has all the makings to be a politician. Lucas is surprised he hasn't run for mayor yet.

Like all greasy politicians, Ramsay is as dirty as they get. Lucas isn't sure where his financial wealth came from because he doubts a principal’s salary makes that much dough. Not like he cares. All that matters to him is that Ramsay can be bribed. A man as influential as him is someone Lucas needs to ensure a smooth sailing operation. And he'll never know when he could use a favor from someone of that stature.

In dealing with the law, he's got Zael LaBelle, Lawrence's own Chief of Police in his pocket. He had been back for half a year now and it had taken him three months to organize the whole setup. He had to get rid of the competition. Lawrence is segregated into a few gangs. But the gang's activities can be split into two categories. Drugs and prostitution. Lucas wasn't interested in drug dealing so he left the drugs related gang alone. He also excludes the human trafficking ring. Not his style. That leaves him with only a few gangs. The leaders of these gangs are typically strip joints or underground club owners and getting rid of them was easy. Especially with his kind of experience.

Once he had merged the gangs in the area and formed his territory, every prostitute walking the streets were his. He even recruited the independent workers. Every night they pay the required amount to their pimps who then bank the amount into an offshore account he'd set up specifically for this. Still, his operation works smoother with the law on his side. His next step was to look for an in with the local law enforcement. With his luck, he had found Zael. During his rounds at the clubs, he had seen Zael entering enough dubious establishments to know that he was dirty. He's the person Lucas needs.

Things went easier when he caught Zael with a twink one night while visiting one of his joints. After questioning the prostitute, he had learned that Zael has a weakness for barely-legal boys. That knowledge came to fruition a week later when Gabriel was brought over by social service to his doorsteps. Getting Zael on board is effortless then. Gabriel fits Zael's type to a T.

In return for their alliance, both Ramsay and Zael get a share of the profits he made. Things had been going according to plan until one day, Zael brought Alastair into the picture. Alastair Creely is the warden of Lawrence Prison. Zael wanted to bring him into the business as their enforcer. There had been some trouble with gangbangers who think it's okay to beat up their prostitutes and the pimps were getting agitated with the number of fights they have lately. They needed more muscles so to speak. And Alastair could provide that. Lucas didn't see any problem with that and so Alastair had been added to the group. Instead of sharing the profits, he will be getting a fixed amount transfer into his account at the end of every month.

However, during their first meeting with Ramsay, Alastair came up with the idea of upping their 'diversity'. He's referring of course to the rest of his charges. Ramsay, who had taken a liking to Anna, was in full support of the idea. He further states that the amount they would rake in by doing so will be obscene. It was three against one. There was nothing for him to do except to agree but he had drawn the line at Amelia and Sam. He had already whored out Gabriel, what difference does it make to whore out the rest? And they were right. They made a huge profit that week. He turned a blind eye and deaf ears at the measures Alastair had taken to force the children into the scene.

Alastair is sadistic. He had methods to make even the most reluctant and defiant of characters to submit. In this case, it was Chase. When he turned up three weeks ago was the worst week he'd been through ever since coming back. Chase was abrasive, challenging and hostile. He fights them every step of the way. Lucas was forced to bring in Alastair. Without consulting first with Lucas, he had brought his friends along and the whole thing had gotten way out of hand. When Alastair emerged from the basement with a smug face and announced that his work was done, Lucas had felt a sting of fear. What he found down in the basement was the half-conscious bloody body of Chase Reed. The boy was destroyed.

Of course, it would be impossible to send Chase to the hospital without raising any suspicion. That's when Ramsay's personal doctor, Anthony Price came into the picture. With a stoic face, he tended to Chase's injuries. Since then, he became their personal doctor. He's in charge of their well being. When clients got too rough, he fixed them up. He also gave them weekly STD check up and for the females, provided birth control pills. For his trouble and silence, Anthony receives the same payment structure as Alastair.

He will be there at the club tonight. Tonight will be the first time his associates combine their playtime. Normally, Zael would take Gabriel, and Ramsay would take Anna. But now that Chase's 'fixed', Ramsay had suggested the idea of a club scene. He had been itching to get his hands on Chase ever since he ran into the teenager during one of their meetings at the home. He's nervous that Alastair will be there as well. Nevertheless, Lucas is sure that with Gabriel's experience and docility, the night will pass by with no hurdles. He hopes Chase won't pose too much trouble. He doesn't want to give Alastair excuses to hurt any one of them.

His eyes flicker to the bottom of the computer screen where the numbers are rapidly increasing. He smiles as he takes in today's earnings. Not bad. If things go the way they are now, soon he'll be able to leave this town. Soon he'll be able to return. Soon he'll be able to exact his revenge. His face takes on an almost inhuman expression. Soon.