The next Gene Simmons is probably a Kick streamer, Weezer should consider getting BBLs, and sadly in today's world the Winkster would be more popular than Barney.
2025-03-21 16:51:45 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's the last one of these songs for now (and a ZIP download of all 4 of these songs for anyone who wants it). This is intended to be a sort of power-pop song with shoegaze/dream-pop elements and I think that mostly comes across. It could stand to be mixed again from scratch but I mostly like this and I could see polishing it up someday.
RIVER VANISHED
think of all the endless days when everything would glow
could you know then how it'd all turn to bone
body parts in monochrome rising from the foam
now everything that burned so bright fades with no home
the night the river vanished, you knew
nothing left to reflect the moon
come here, float a while
won't you
won't you let the river hold you
weightless like you vanished too
any part of life you were mourning
drifted on the night forgot your name and floated nowhere
every memory washed away
free from what you maybe were
eclipses many nights of crying out for more
it blurs the line where time and space were torn
then brings you back to shore
2025-03-18 15:17:29 +0000 UTC View PostMusicians are going crazy in space, and Imagine Dragons are getting a piece of the action. Maybe Elvis should have Spaceland on the moon. And maybe Offset needs a group with his nephew since he was the third wheel in Migos' nephew-uncle dynamic.
2025-03-14 17:00:28 +0000 UTC View PostWas Mildred J. Hill's "Happy Birthday" what "Creep" is to Radiohead? Plus, the IRS is auctioning Tekashi 6ix9ine's Star of David pendant and Katy Perry is going to space.
2025-03-07 17:14:14 +0000 UTC View PostImagine your german shepherd brings a dead Smurf to your doorstep. Plus, Will Smith is taking over the rap game with the Sunday Service Choir. Featuring Spencer (@TGOFV_Pod) and Cole (@aryanblackgirl).
2025-02-28 17:50:37 +0000 UTC View Post
This song has a good momentum to it despite not really having clearly denoted verses and choruses, and there's a chance I'll come back to it someday with a new arrangement. I feel like I could remove a lot of the guitars and replace them with synths, but when I tried that I didn't like where it was headed. Conversely, I never got around to recording real drums on this, and that might also give it new direction. But the idea's there.
STRANGEST MEMORABILIA
so many flowers never sent
and i would like to bury them and grow them back again
so many nights since now and then
but i could not forget, every letter that you wrote me
too too many nights
and time will never show
pot holes lining memory lane
a little memory hole
back with more souvenirs in tow
where from what for, it sparks a jealous kind of low
honey, you found yourself again
a rustic tragic travelogue against your skin
hex me, turn me holy again
nameless, faithful, nowhere else to go but back now
white white light, won't you bring me
the strangest memorabilia to show you're thinking of
curse and scold me, shape and mold me
a coffin filling slowly with the the hours i misspent
you're like a hymn
your soft eyes play me flawless violin
all these days i wondered where you been
bring back something perfect that will glow until the end
2025-02-25 15:31:51 +0000 UTC View Post
This week: Boneless Thugs body horror, Mr. Bean Saudi Arabia luxury real estate, Bikini Bottom is a U.S. protectorate, and the government is removing our wisdom teeth to make us stupid.
2025-02-21 17:45:18 +0000 UTC View Post
A few years ago I covered the acapella song "The Ballad of David Icke" by Clem Snide with a full-band arrangement, and this song was an attempt to write something new with a similar feel to that cover. I like the instrumental part at the end of this, and there's a few sections that use a sample from Yoshi's Island (lol) but it's so decontextualized it's hard to tell. The vocals are at the bottom of my range so they feel pretty strained as a result, these days I'm trying to be conscientious about avoiding that, which is one reason I'm sort of "over it" with this song.
BALLAD OF GOOD INTENTIONS
the road ahead rewinds
just as freedom's last bell chimes
light frost on city streetlights
a permanent design
a devastating haze
signals centuries of rain
all best and worst intentions
washed in the scent of sage
roads ahead rewind
just as freedom's last bell chimes
those ghosts of good intentions
lie sleeping in your mind
the only ones who stayed
flowing into unmarked graves
reciting history's pages
in perfect paraphrase
roads ahead rewind
just as freedom's last bell chimes
those ghosts of good intentions
still sleeping in your mind
2025-02-18 18:10:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Veteran players should do senior pranks at the Super Bowl, and since Vince Neil has a jet he should get to do the Super Bowl flyover, since they're not letting geriatric rockers perform at halftime anymore. Plus, police in India try to stop Ed Sheeran from rocking.
2025-02-14 16:51:39 +0000 UTC View Post
A couple years ago I (Charles) started working on a bunch of songs to see what I could do with electric guitar and bass recorded entirely in the box using Guitar Rig. I moved on from these to songs that I think are more interesting and better arranged (which I'll probably start releasing a few months from now) but I wanted to post a few of these earlier songs here. If people like some of these enough maybe I'll polish them up and revisit them in the future.
IN THE WILD
you said it then
writing your name in wet cement
follow your whim go west and
walk along the sunlit street
people move in, a glimpse
a cop car beneath a starbucks sign
the clearest of skies, a streak of blood dries
a storm drain jammed with monday's Times
blue angels overhead
black out the comfort of the sun
then they're gone
a faint perfume, a tree that lightning split in two
the sidewalk sighs, a store goes unsold
as youth culture is growing old
freedom, anywhere you need
some kind of miracle is raining down on me
my heart, a world that won't stop burning
someone else to pay the price
of safety from the wild of our minds
waiting for your answer
frightened by an idle car
lean in the wind, go out now, breathe in the lift of falling leaves
here in the light, the shade breathes new life
to something that still stirs in me
blue angels overhead
black out the comfort of the sun
freedom, anywhere you need
some kind of miracle is raining down on me
my heart, a world that won't stop burning
someone else to pay the price
of safety from the wild of our minds
a quiet day in the mist of history
2025-02-11 16:28:41 +0000 UTC View Post
Ringo Starr has never tried pizza, the Grammys completely snub Great White and Whitesnake, and Charles and Alex learn that Alvin and the Chipmunks were nominated for Record of the Year at the very first Grammys.
2025-02-07 17:06:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles, Alex, and Dan talk about being in the navy—the British one and the Village People one. Plus, the downfall of the world's first—and now last—major-label NFT band.
2025-01-31 19:28:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex talk about Foo Fighters pinball, the Trump memecoin, and Lil Wayne's Joan Jett Signature Series Melody Maker.
2025-01-24 18:28:50 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex wonder if John D. Rockefeller would have turned into a whiny Elon-style baby if he had to listen to the Red Dead guys shit talk him all day online. Plus, Pitbull gets into the botanical disinfectant game and Gerard Way voices a D&D pinball machine.
2025-01-10 16:33:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex discuss IDF catgirls, Kelly Clarkson's DoD funding, and how the happy birthday song should be on the Billboard charts all year. Also there should be a version of The Price is Right where people guess how much military hardware costs the taxpayer.
2025-01-03 16:59:45 +0000 UTC View Post
Palma (@sweetxpalma) takes Charles and Alex through the early dad-rock years of Fleetwood Mac before their fateful pivot to mom rock.
Tracklist:
If You Be My Baby
Ooh Baby
Albatross
Station Man (Live San Bernardino 1971)
Future Games
Dissatisfied
Did You Ever Love Me
Second Chapter (Danny Kirwan)
Station Man (Live 1975)
Hypnotized (Live 1975)
2024-12-27 17:40:31 +0000 UTC View Post
A New Jersey Democrat fakes his Springsteen bona fides, Elton John comes out against the scourge of marijuana, and we discover a Snoopy-themed '60s band that dropped an anti-Osama song in 2006.
2024-12-20 18:15:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Fights break out at Mariah Carey Christmas concerts, Ronnie Radke BANNED from the U.K., and the You Know I Had to Do It to 'Em Kid, finally, had to do it to 'em.
2024-12-13 17:47:31 +0000 UTC View Post
The Village People singer denies "YMCA" is a gay anthem, the U.K. sends dumb Christmas novelty songs to the top of the charts, and Aerosmith's drummer can't find a good cup of coffee.
2024-12-06 18:41:30 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex appraise Trump guitars and make an official endorsement in the special election in New York's 21st Congressional District.
2024-11-29 16:07:42 +0000 UTC View Post
Did George and Amal Clooney hijack Sammy Hagar and Guy Fieri's liquor trucks? Should we use Jerry Garcia's A.I. voice to insert new stage banter into old performances? Did Stevie Wonder have Kobe killed? Charles and Alex investigate.
2024-11-22 18:54:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex discuss pop punk typos, Alice Cooper's bombshell admission that he liked school, and Mariah Carey's lawyer's induction into the Rock Hall of Fame.
2024-11-15 18:15:00 +0000 UTC View PostThese changes only affect new subscriptions, so maybe the existing subscriber list is not the ideal audience for this PSA, but it's worth spreading the word as far as possible about Apple's forced enshittification of Patreon. Starting sometime in November (not sure when as it's rolling out slowly to different accounts), Apple is extorting an additional 30% off the top of every Patreon sub made through its iOS App Store, offering absolutely nothing in return. For comparison, Patreon itself only take 5–8% of subs (and another 5% to the credit card processor), meaning Apple is taking up to SIX TIMES AS MUCH money as Patreon for, again, doing absolutely nothing besides making the process more difficult for creators and subscribers. Apple is enforcing a 75-day delay period on payments from these subs before they reach artists. Artists are no longer allowed to give direct refunds on subs that have been made through the App Store, meaning subscribers will have to deal with whatever byzantine, capricious dogshit customer service Apple provides, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Even if you're on iPhone or iPad, you can use your exact same account on your exact same device, subscribe on web, and avoid all these fees and penalties entirely. All you need to do is avoid the App Store itself.
I know some people are disappointed in Patreon CEO Jack Conte for caving to Apple's extortionary pressure but I have sympathy for his choice given that it puts him in a difficult spot either way (cave to extortion vs. de-list the app). To his credit, I really believe he cares about artists and subscribers, and he's got a philosophy of the internet that is far fairer and healthier than anyone else running any major platform today. I still think Patreon is the best platform out there, it's just sad and frustrating to see Apple do everything it can to make it worse.
Again this only affects new subs through the iOS App Store going forward but I think it's still valuable for everyone to know about this. Especially because Apple explicitly forbids Patreon from giving this advice itself! Hopefully longtime subscriber Lina Kahn is reading this and will be motivated to eviscerate Apple, Meta, Google, Amazon, etc more swiftly and bring some semblance of fairness to this dumb deregulated shithole country.
On this episode of Chapo Trap House, Charles and Alex consider a world that consists of nothing but scams.
2024-11-01 16:11:42 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Dan talk crypto PACs, Robert Smith, and bootleg merch.
2024-10-25 18:09:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex speculate that Heaven is a worse version of The Villages. Geriatric former slaveowners drinking 10 a.m. mai tais and crashing their golf carts. Plus, Green Day and Barney the Dinosaur make their 30-year nostalgia plays.
2024-10-18 17:25:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Damon Albarn brings together MF DOOM, Ike Turner, and Dennis Hopper on maybe his best album? With only 1 song that might be too British.
2024-10-15 16:40:18 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex check in on T.I.'s toy lawsuit, Coldplay on QVC, and a Zionist fact check of the new Godspeed album. Plus, bats are biting everybody at concerts nowadays.
2024-10-11 17:00:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex discuss an album that tests Americans' limits for how much Britishness they can tolerate.
2024-10-08 17:16:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Charles and Alex find out about the world's first Israeli-Palestinian boy band and Elon stealing Grimes' baby name idea to use with his mistress instead.
2024-10-04 17:07:04 +0000 UTC View Post